Nevertheless, she was so curious that she begged him to tell her all about New York. Much of what he told her was what she had dreamt it to be, but when he said that there were areas in the city where people lived in conditions as bad as they were in Old Nichol, she was disappointed. She thought America would be free from all the poverty that prevailed in England and Ireland.
In the morning, Toughie was up and dressed before dawn. “I’m going to leave now before Eduardo wakes up. I can’t bear to say goodbye to him.”
Gladys knew it was for the best, so she didn’t object, but when he went to go out the door, she started to cry.
“Don’t cry, my darling. Someday I’ll be back, I promise. Maybe then, when our son is older, we can tell him the truth.”
“Will you write to me?”
“I will. And I’ll give you my address, so you can write and tell me everything Eduardo does. Maybe if you were to remind him, from time to time, about our trip to the park, he won’t forget me.”
“I shall ask him to write to you himself. I know he would like that. You’ve made quite a favourable impression on him,” she said as she wrote down his American address and the address of where he was staying in London.
“Hearing from you both, from time to time, will make our separation a lot less painful,” Toughie said with a weak smile.
“I don’t want to you to leave,” she cried as he was going out the door.
“I know, my love, but just remember, if you change your mind and decide to come with me, let me know in a week’s time. And I don’t mind if you bring along the girls as well. I know of someone who can forge identification papers, and you can come as my wife and family.”
Gladys knew he would spend the week waiting for her to change her mind, but she also knew it wasn’t likely. She tried to smile as he hugged her one last time before he left. Her heart was breaking as she stood and watched him walk down the street.
Toughie could feel her eyes on his back and turned a few times to blow her a kiss. Then he turned the corner and went out of sight.
“I love you, Toughie. I love you too, Angelo Rossini,” she cried out to the empty street.
Eddy was disappointed that Toughie had left before he could say goodbye, but when Gladys told him they were going to visit an old friend, then stop on the way to the station to buy some marzipan mice for James, Eliza, and Dolly, he couldn’t wait to leave.
“Do hurry, Mother,” he said. Noticing her red eyes, he added, “Are you sad, Mother?”
“No, dear, just tired. A little powder and I shall look as good as ever.”
Luckily, Percy was at home when they arrived at his apartment. He was overjoyed to see her and made a fuss over Eddy. Although he appeared to have aged since she last saw him, he still had that wonderful twinkle in his eyes when he smiled. His smile always lifted her spirits no matter how depressed she was feeling. She hadn’t realized how very much she had missed his company, and she hugged him for a long time. Fortunately, Percy had some puzzles he kept for his little nephew, and he brought them out for Eddy to play with on the kitchen table while he and Gladys visited in his parlour.
He could tell she was troubled, so wasn’t surprised when she told him why they had come to London. She also told him how difficult it was for Toughie to say goodbye to the only child he would ever have.
After they had talked for a while, Gladys could tell Percy wanted to ask about James, so she told him that they had a daughter named Eliza, who was now three. He congratulated her but couldn’t hide his true feelings, so she decided to speak boldly. Gladys confessed that James had told her why he and Percy were no longer friends.
“Now that you know my secret, Gladys, do you still want to be my friend?”
“Of course. Why on earth would I not?”
“James thinks I’m a sinner and a criminal, and I was afraid you might feel the same.”
“Well, you needn’t worry; I think you are wonderful, and I love you. I know how much you cared for Helmut, and James should consider himself lucky you feel the same about him.”
“I wish he did, but he wants nothing to do with me, even though I promised to never make that mistake again.”
“Percy, James loves you, but he is far too afraid to admit it, and I don’t know if he ever will. I do know that he will never be truly happy until he does. He misses you so very much.”
Before Gladys and Eddy took their leave, Percy gave her a letter. “Will you give this to James, Gladys? I wrote it over a year ago and have never had the nerve to mail it.”
When he handed her the letter, Gladys realized that she had left Toughie’s addresses in the flat and would have to go back for them. Luckily, the two apartments were only a block apart so they would still be able to buy some candy and arrive at the station in time to catch the train.
After retrieving the addresses and buying the candy, Gladys and Eddy were standing on the side of the street waiting for a cab when they saw Toughie running toward them.
“I’m so glad I got here before you left,” he said as soon as he caught his breath. “I’ve some great news!”
Before he had a chance to tell her his news, an empty cab stopped to pick them up. Gladys didn’t want to leave without hearing the news, but she knew they had to go or they would miss the train.
“I’ll ride to the station with you and tell you all about it as we go,” he said.
As soon as the coach was on the road, Gladys asked, “What is it, Toughie? I hope it’s that you are not going to America after all.”
“I’m sorry, but no, it’s not that,” he replied, and then he told her that his grandmother, who was in her late seventies, had decided to go to America with them.
Victor had left Carlotta and their twins in America and was anxious to return, but it would take about two months to pack up the old lady’s belongings and settle her affairs. “We’ll be sailing from here to Italy and return in a month’s time,” Toughie said. “And the good news is that we will still have to wait here for a fortnight before our ship sails for America.”
Without waiting for Gladys to comment, he addressed Eddy, “So, Tiger, what do you think of another trip to the park in a month’s time?”
“Oh, I should say so!” Eddy said, clapping his hands. “And Sidder could come too! You would like her. She is a jolly good sort, for a girl.”
Gladys promised they would be in London before Toughie sailed. Their farewell at the station was awkward and unsatisfying. With Eddy looking on, they were obliged to be discreet and had to contend with nothing more than a handshake.
Chapter Twenty-One
When Gladys and Eddy arrived in Sandwich, there was no one at the station to meet them because James didn’t know what day they would return. Luckily, cabs were plentiful at the train station, and they were quickly on their way home.
The warm reception they received from Dolly, Eliza, and the rest of the household managed to lift Gladys’s spirits a little.
James had feared Edward’s father would insist on returning with them. The man stood no chance of taking Edward away from Gladys, but if he were to publicly state the reason he wanted the boy, it would be sure to cause a scandal that would tarnish James’s reputation. He was so relieved when they returned alone that he surprised everyone by suggesting they all spend the evening in the parlour so Eddy could tell them what he thought of his journey to London.
His unexpected show of affection helped Gladys feel that her decision not to go with Toughie was the right one. She had returned home determined to speak to James about his aloofness toward Eddy, and now she was beginning to think that it might be unnecessary.
Eliza was thrilled with the toy train and listened intently to her brother’s account of the wonderful place he called a zoo. James managed to hide his displeasure as Eddy described all the animals, but he couldn’t help but wince every time Eddy ment
ioned the nice man called Toughie, who had given him a ride on his shoulders. Although he wasn’t fond of the boy, he was overcome with an unexpected feeling of jealousy.
When it came time for the children to retire, Eddy, feeling very grown up, said he would be sleeping in his own bed from now on and would say his prayers with Sidder. Instead of being pleased, Gladys was saddened. She would miss having his warm little body next to her at night.
Anxious to hear what had taken place between Gladys and the Italian, James asked if she would join him in the library for a drink before she retired. Gladys settled down into one of the large wingback chairs in front of the fireplace while James poured them each a generous glass of sherry. “Ah, this is nice,” she said as she sipped on the sweet-tasting liquid.
“I imagine you are tired after the long trip home,” James said, then added, “but, as you can imagine, I am most anxious to know how your friend reacted when he learned that he had a son.”
“He was thrilled, James! You see, he lost his wife and child when they were on their way to America. Then he became very ill as well. When he recovered, the ship’s doctor told him that he would never be able to have any more children, so you can imagine his delight when he found out about Eddy,” Gladys replied.
James had secretly hoped that the fellow would want nothing to do with Edward, which would simplify matters. “I can understand his sentiments, my dear, but I hope you explained that his relationship to Edward must be kept a secret. Of course, I shall allow him to visit with the boy now and then, but the visits must be in London or wherever he lives, and never in Sandwich. And I shall have to insist that Edward continue to believe I am his father.”
“I explained all that to Tou . . . er, I mean, Angelo.”
Gladys suddenly understood what Toughie had meant when he said that Toughie was nothing but a childish nickname. The name Angelo had a far greater ring of sophistication. She made up her mind to try to think of him by his proper name from then on.
“I pray he took it well?”
“Not at first, but when he realized that it may be several years before he would be able to provide his son with all that you can give him, he changed his mind. It was a heart-breaking decision for him.”
“Is he still going to be travelling with the troupe?”
“Oh no, the troupe has disbanded. Angelo’s going back to America in six weeks’ time. He and his uncle are opening a restaurant there. I hope you won’t mind, James, but I said I would take Eddy back to London in a month’s time so he could spend another day or two with his father before he leaves.”
James was slow to answer, but he agreed. “I am sorry for him. I know how I would feel if I should ever have to leave Eliza. I hope he will be successful in his endeavours. Now, I want to know about you. How do you feel? Knowing what the fellow means to you, I can imagine how difficult it must have been to know that you can never be together.”
“Yes it was, but we both felt better when we decided to write to each other. I promised that Eddy would write to him too.”
“Do you think that was wise?”
“I couldn’t say no to him, James. He wanted Eddy and me to go with him, and I had to tell him we couldn’t. The least I could do was to allow him to keep in touch by correspondence. If his business goes well, he hopes to visit Eddy again someday.”
James was relieved to hear that Angelo was leaving the country but sorry to hear that he planned on returning. Although he had told Gladys that he wished the man success, he wasn’t being totally honest. James wasn’t in love with Gladys, but he didn’t want to lose her. He was afraid that if Toughie became a success, he might persuade her to leave. He knew he was behaving like the proverbial dog in the manger, but he couldn’t help it.
He was also anxious to know if Gladys had visited with Percy while in London, but his pride kept him from asking. After a few seconds of silence, he rose and said, “It’s good to have you back—both of you. Now you had better get some sleep.”
Gladys was on her way out the door when she remembered the letter. “Oh yes, I almost forgot; I hope you don’t mind, but I went to visit Percy before we left London, and he gave me this to give to you.” She took the letter out of her skirt pocket and handed it to him. She left the room before he could reply.
James sat down and looked at the envelope. He didn’t know whether to open it or throw it in the fire. The feel of it in his hands caused him sensations of both pleasure and dread. For years, he had strived to overcome his desire for Percy’s company and was almost convinced he had succeeded. Now he was afraid that if he read the letter, his efforts would be in vain. On the other hand, now that he and Gladys had a child, what harm would it do to renew their friendship?
After all, he reasoned, Percy had apologized for his rash behaviour and even stated that he would like to continue being nothing more than just good friends. Thinking about all the good times they had together, James began to wonder if he had any right to judge the man. Leaning his head back in the chair, he closed his eyes and allowed his thoughts to drift reminiscently. The memories warmed his soul, and without realizing it, he held the letter close to his heart as he recalled those good times. He could picture Percy as clearly as though he were in the room, standing as he so often did, with an arm resting on the mantle, a drink in his other hand, and telling amusing stories about his eccentric relatives.
He could even picture his features: his thick crop of salt-and-pepper hair; his large but well-shaped nose; his hazel eyes, which lit up whenever he smiled; and his generous mouth. Then the memory of that sensuous mouth on his interposed and put an abrupt end to his musings.
He quickly jumped up and threw the letter into the fire. There were only a few embers left among the coals, and, for what seemed like eons to James, the letter lay un-scorched on top of them, as though deliberately allowing him time to change his mind. His whole being ached with the urge to reach down and grab it, but he stood firm. Then, as the envelope began to smoulder, his resistance gave way, but it was too late. Just as he reached for it, the envelope burst into flames. He watched until there was nothing left but ashes. Then, brushing the tears from his cheek, he left the room.
Even though the thought of losing Angelo once again was foremost on her mind, Gladys did her best to be cheerful. During the weeks following the London trip, she tried to concentrate on the good life that James was providing for her and her children. They spent most of their free time together riding their horses or playing games. In the evenings, she played the piano and sang, but only the gayest of songs. Both Eddy and Dolly had inherited her love of music, and even Eliza was beginning to enjoy their musical evenings.
Eddy liked to sing, and he would make up his own words if he didn’t know the lyrics to a song. It wasn’t long before he and Eliza began performing for the family. Eddy would play the piano with one finger and sing while Eliza danced. He didn’t know how to play, and she didn’t know how to dance, but they put on good show.
James seemed just as determined as Gladys to create a happy atmosphere in the home. However, there were times when Gladys thought their simulated actions might be so obvious that even a child could tell they weren’t sincere. She needn’t have worried. The children were enjoying the harmonious atmosphere so much that they wouldn’t have acknowledged any imperfections if they had noticed them.
The groom’s daughter, Blossom, and Dolly had remained close friends, and they were both helpful in keeping Eddy and Eliza entertained. Two swings hung from a branch of a large oak tree in the back yard, and one of the yardmen, who was very handy with tools, had fashioned a chair out of a wooden box and tied it to one of the swings for Eliza, so the girls could push her as high in the air as they did Eddy.
Blossom was now old enough to go to work. Normally she would have had to seek employment as a housemaid, but, because she had acquired proper mannerisms by spending so much time in the company of Dolly,
James had hired her as Dolly’s maid.
Although she was a servant, Dolly treated Blossom more like a companion, and their close friendship often caused Gladys to be envious. When Gladys was Dolly’s age, she was scrubbing floors and working from morning until night and had no time for girlfriends, so she didn’t know that it was typical for a fifteen-year-old to form a closer relationship with another girl than with her mother.
Not knowing that it was just a phase Dolly was going through and that it would soon pass, Gladys blamed herself, thinking she had neglected her and spent too much time looking after Eddy. She prayed it wasn’t too late to make amends.
She recalled her friendship with Millie and how they had shared all their secrets. Millie was the only close friend she had had since leaving the ghetto. After Millie died, Gladys confided in Dolly. Now she felt that she had no one. Aunt Jean was easy to talk to, but she was beginning to be so forgetful that she might repeat anything without realizing it. It would have been nice if Horace and Sarah lived with them, since they were both easy to talk to, but they lived in another country.
She had thought that Mary and Tina would be her close friends, but, ever since Eddy had been born, they seemed distant toward her, especially Mary. She had a feeling they suspected that James wasn’t Eddy’s father, but they hadn’t come out and accused her. She couldn’t help but grin when she pictured how shocked they would be if they found out where she had grown up.
Gladys was so lucky to have met Millie when she did. It was a time when they had both needed a friend. Whenever Gladys reminisced about the good times they spent together, the memory of the night Millie died came back to haunt her. Although it had waned over the years, there were still times when she could still feel that pillow under her hands and she would feel sick.
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