Agent Provocateur

by Faith Bleasdale

  ‘You know we can’t. Grace, I’m going to go now.’

  ‘Oliver, please …’ She cannot find the words.

  ‘I’ll always love you, Grace.’

  She regulates her breath, and tries to stem the flow of tears, but when she realises that he has just gone, she cries harder.

  If anyone could see me, see what I do to people, they’d lock me up. Or stone me, or worse. I destroy lives. Maybe Betty’s right. I destroy people’s happiness.

  ‘So, Betty, how’s work?’ Sarah asks as they are tucking into the starter.

  ‘Great, as always, although my boss is getting more insane. I’ve got about five stories on the go at the moment, and it’ll be her fault if they get mixed up.’

  ‘My boss’s like that. He’s piling on the work. I can’t bear it.’ Sarah has some high-flying City job.

  ‘Oh, Betty, tell her about the story that upset you so much, the honey thing. What was her name?’ Johnny prompts.

  ‘Gr- Griselda.’ Everyone laughs, Betty reddens.

  ‘Was she really called that?’ Johnny asks, racking his brain for any memory of her name.

  ‘No, really she was called Helen, but Griselda suited her better.’ Betty has made a startling recovery and she goes on to entertain them all with the honey trap story; omitting a few major details.

  ‘What are you up to this weekend?’ Will asks, over dessert.

  ‘Nothing, I think. I’m going to try to get away with playing golf.’ Johnny reaches over and kisses Betty’s cheek.

  ‘Well, we thought we might try for a last-minute break in the New Forest, maybe somewhere with a golf course.’

  ‘Isn’t it a bit late?’ Johnny asks.

  ‘No, it’s off season. Anyway, if you’re interested I’ll see what I can do.’

  ‘Count us in,’ Betty says quickly. ‘But only if you find somewhere with a golf course.’

  They will go away, Betty knows that. They will spend time with their friends, in the New Forest, eating pub food and drinking pints and walking, maybe, even if it is only for a couple of days. They will be together, and where will Grace be? Alone, like the Griselda that she is.

  Grace recovers and takes a phone call from Eddie.

  ‘It feels like ages,’ he admonishes.

  ‘I’m sorry, but I’ve been working so hard.’

  ‘Then I don’t suppose you’ll have time to come away with me at the weekend?’

  ‘Where?’

  ‘Bath. I’ve been invited to a restaurant opening. It’s an old friend’s place, so I thought I’d book a nice hotel and make a weekend of it.’

  ‘Bit last minute – surely you knew before now.’

  ‘I did, but I thought if I asked you at the last minute, then you wouldn’t be able to wriggle out with an excuse.’ She laughs at his accurate evaluation. Just as she is about to turn him down and find one of her lame excuses, she thinks better of it. A weekend away might do her the world of good, and Eddie doesn’t hate her like Oliver does.

  ‘That sounds lovely.’

  ‘Really?’ He can’t help the surprise edge into his voice.

  ‘Really. It’s going to be great.’

  She is smiling when she puts the phone down, as is he. She is delighted with events, because maybe they will take her mind off Johnny. Or maybe they won’t. Whatever, she will enjoy herself with Eddie because he deserves it, and if she can make him happy then maybe she won’t be such a bad person after all.

  On Friday afternoon, after she has packed her weekend bag and fitted an automatic fish feeder to her fish tank (purchased for such occasions but never used), she calls him again. This is the last stage in Phase One and it is a bit of a gamble.

  ‘Johnny Parkin.’ His voice makes her shake; she is nervous.

  ‘It’s Grace.’

  ‘Hi, how are you?’ He sounds puzzled by her call.

  ‘I feel really silly calling you, I hope you don’t mind, it’s just that my solicitor is away and I can’t talk to my boss. I didn’t know who else to turn to.’

  ‘What’s wrong?’ He is concerned, she can hear it in his voice.

  ‘It’s silly really, but my ex-husband called me. You see, I bought this flat with the divorce settlement, and now he says I owe him. I think he’s facing financial difficulties. Can he take my flat? It’s all I have.’ She sounds upset. And although part of her feels guilty because Johnny is genuine and she is using that – exploiting it – the other part of her feels it is necessary. She has to play the charade, but she is playing it almost too well.

  ‘No way. You bought it when you were no longer married to him. It’s in your name, there is no way he is entitled to it. It sounds to me as if he is trying to scare you into giving him money.’

  ‘If it wasn’t for you, he might have succeeded.’

  Johnny is incensed. Poor, hapless Grace being bullied by her ex-husband is almost too much for him to bear. She is so, so, undeserving of such treatment.

  ‘Grace, please don’t listen to him.’

  ‘I shan’t, I promise. I’ll ignore him. I wish he’d stay away from me.’

  ‘You’re not in any danger, are you?’ He is worried about her vulnerability.

  ‘No, not physically, if that’s what you mean. He’s just a bully, but he won’t come near me. But thank you for your concern.’

  ‘Hey, you’re about to become one of my best clients, I have to take care of you.’

  ‘See you next Wednesday, Johnny. Have a great weekend.’

  ‘You too, and don’t worry.’

  Johnny replaces the receiver just as his mobile rings. He sees it is Betty and answers it.

  ‘Hi, darling.’

  ‘Johnny, I tried your line but it was engaged. We’re meant to be leaving in an hour – are you ready?’

  ‘I’m leaving now. Sorry, work shit.’

  ‘But you are leaving?’

  ‘Five minutes, I promise.’

  He puts his mobile into his jacket pocket, locks his filing cabinet, and shuts down his computer. Then, just as he is about to walk out the door, he turns back. He picks up the desk organiser and opens it to a certain page. He feels an overwhelming desire to call her, he has no idea why. He is worried about her but he has to stop. She’s survived without him and she will continue to. He chastises himself for being so soft. He has a weekend to go to and he can’t afford to worry about his clients like this.

  Grace is smiling to herself, but the guilt is growing, because he is a nice guy and she has made him worry about her. The phone call she made was so calculated; she is playing with his kindness, but again, she can’t help herself. Yes, the move was planned, but she needed to hear his voice, wanted desperately to hear his voice. She knows that everything is complicated, and although she is not proud of her behaviour, she also can’t change it.

  ‘Walk away,’ a voice says. ‘I can’t,’ another replies. She is sunk.

  Grace has no idea why it’s happening but it is. She doesn’t know if there is some grand plan. Betty came into her life, upset her, led her to the bet, which in turn is working on defrosting her heart. It could be fate or something, or it could just be coincidence. Whichever, when she decided to get her own back on Betty she had no idea that it would be like this; that she would feel like the bitch Betty thought she was one minute, and like the happiest person in the world the next. The kaleidoscope that are her emotions have changed from black and white, back into colour.

  On Saturday, the weather in the New Forest is wet, putting an end to Johnny’s idea of playing golf with Will, and Betty’s idea of romantic walks. Instead, they sit in a pub all afternoon, getting drunk, watching sport and eating packets of crisps.

  ‘Not exactly what we had in mind,’ Sarah says, as she opens yet another packet of cheese and onion.

  ‘Me neither. Maybe we can go back to the hotel for an afternoon nap,’ Betty suggests. She isn’t drunk, but a little bit merry, and she wants her wicked way with her husband.

  ‘Good idea.’ Joh
nny winks and they set off after finishing their drinks. Despite the weather, they feel relaxed. Just being out of London does that for them. Betty’s mind is completely empty of thoughts of Grace, although Johnny’s is not. He is worried about her; he can’t help it. He knows that he should be concentrating on his wife and his weekend away but he cannot help but fear for her. She has no one and the fact she turned to him proved that. He is just being a good Samaritan.

  Although it was only a short walk from the pub to the hotel, they are all a bit wet when they arrive in reception. Both couples make their way to their respective rooms.

  ‘Let’s get you out of those wet clothes,’ Betty says, winking suggestively.

  ‘OK,’ Johnny replies.

  Betty marvels at how attractive she still finds him after all this time, and she hopes, prays, he feels the same. Despite her resolve, Grace has crept into her head again.

  They make love and Betty gives it everything. She feels a need for intensity so he understands. She loves him, and lying to him is making her feel guilty. She hates lying to him.

  He feels the intensity and returns it. He wants his wife to feel safe and secure, not like Grace. He realises that he is worrying about her still, despite the fact that his naked wife is next to him, and he hopes that it is just because he is a nice person and not because he is a bad one.

  Grace is enjoying Bath. It is trying to rain but she doesn’t mind because it is so nice for her to be somewhere different. Ed drives her round, they look at the Georgian architecture, she falls in love with the Royal Crescent, and then they go back to their hotel for an afternoon nap. As they make love she is thinking of Johnny. Is he worrying about her? Her assumption that he is thinking about her is not vanity. It is because she knows that he is a nice person and she was upset. He is going to worry about her, but that is all. She does not expect him to want her yet. Soon, but not yet.

  Eddie feels that she is distant but that happens often when they are making love. He has no idea where she is and he knows better than to ask. There is a down side to dating Grace, but there are also up sides, the main one being that she is not demanding. He holds her while she sleeps, secure in the knowledge that she is not dreaming about him.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  ‘I am going round the fucking bend.’ Betty picks up her glass of wine, looks at it and then puts it down again. She is angry, most of all with herself.

  ‘Betts, calm down.’ She is in a bar with Alison. It is the beginning of the fourth week of the bet and the pressure is beginning to get to her.

  ‘I have no idea if he’s seen her or not. But he said he’s going for dinner with “a client” tonight and when I asked which client, he said it was a rich guy that he needed to keep sweet. What if he’s lying to me already and he’s going out with her? Her cool confidence has slipped, mainly due to the barrage of questions everyone is throwing at her about the bet.

  ‘He goes out with clients. That is part of his job.’

  ‘Yeah, which was fine before the bet. It’s been three weeks -that’s a quarter of the way through. What if it is her he’s having dinner with?’ She hates how wet she sounds, but she feels wet. She is trying not to be, she is trying to be nonchalant, but it isn’t working.

  ‘Call her.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Call her and ask her if she’s seen him.’

  ‘What, and give her the satisfaction of knowing how edgy I am?’

  ‘Betty, this is stupid. More than that, it’s ridiculous. When you agreed this bet you trusted Johnny one hundred per cent, but you seem to be losing percentage points on a daily basis. He hasn’t changed in his behaviour towards you, and you have no reason to be suspicious. You don’t know if, how or when she contacted him, which, if you ask me, is the problem.’

  ‘You’re right. You know, I thought I could do this, but the paranoia is taking over. I’m going to call her. I’ll stop being so pathetic and call her, making sure that she knows that I’m not a bit worried or upset whilst at the same time finding out anything she knows. That’s what I’ll do.’

  ‘But not now.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because she will probably be working and if she’s out, which she will be, and Johnny is out, which he is, then you’ll put two and two together and come up with five.’

  ‘Is that a saying?’

  ‘I don’t know. Betty, please, relax and finish your wine.’ Alison is taking on a motherly role with Betty, which is confusing because previously Betty always took charge. Alison feels ill-equipped for the part. Lying to Matt, lying to Johnny, pacifying Betty – it is all taking its toll.

  ‘OK.’ Betty sighs. The bet is turning her into either a nervous wreck or an alcoholic.

  Betty’s fears are founded – not the one about her beloved having a torrid affair with the honey trap woman, but the one about them having dinner together.

  They met on the Wednesday of the third week as arranged, and she gave him all the papers he requested.

  ‘You’ve got a good nest egg here,’ he said.

  This much Grace knows. ‘I want to ensure that I’m looked after when I get old, as I seem to be doing rapidly.’

  ‘Nonsense, you’re a mere youngster.’

  Grace was doing some blatant, old-fashioned flirting. She was wearing a slightly short skirt, and a low-cut top. Her long legs were emphasised by her high-heeled, knee-length boots. She moved rapidly from the sombre divorcee to the coquette. Her flirting was subtle, but she noted it was being well received; Johnny was flirting back. It wasn’t just in his words, but in his look and his actions. And all the time Grace was falling deeper and deeper into his eyes. A body language expert would have found it obvious.

  Phase One had been the initial meeting, Phase Two had been vulnerability and playing hard to get, figuratively speaking, Phase Three was flirting. And he was flirting back.

  ‘Thanks, but, hey, that I know isn’t true. Every day I wake up and find a new wrinkle or a new grey hair. I might need you to set up a savings account for plastic surgery. Anyway, I don’t want to dominate your time too much. What happens now?’ She looked at him directly, with a slight smile. The problem was that flirting had ceased to be a put on; she was flirting for real.

  ‘I am going to take this away, study it and come back with some options.’ He couldn’t help but admire her. She was not only beautiful but warm and friendly. He pushed those thoughts away.

  ‘Excellent. When?’

  ‘Well, how about Monday?’

  ‘Monday is fine. No, wait, next week is a bugger. I’ve got a really tight schedule. Maybe you could post something to me. No, that wouldn’t work because I probably wouldn’t understand a word of it.’ She giggled and leant towards him slightly.

  ‘You haven’t told me what you do.’

  ‘I’m a PA for a very demanding lawyer. I think it’s because he lost his hair when he was young that he’s so grouchy. It’s dull but, as you can see, it pays quite well.’

  ‘It does. I should become a PA.’

  ‘Because he’s so difficult, he has to pay me to stay.’ She laughed. ‘Anyway, how about the following week?’ She was playing with time, which was dangerous because it was running out. Slowly, slowly. She will get her man. Patience would get her man.

  ‘We could meet after work. I don’t mind that.’ Johnny was not sure why he suggested that. He normally only met longstanding clients after work, and that was client entertainment. Grace wasn’t yet a client and would never be in the league that demanded dinners. He told himself that he was worried that if he didn’t make the next appointment she might go somewhere else and he didn’t want that. He had no idea why he felt that way. It was business, and in business Johnny liked to play with big money. This wasn’t big money; it wasn’t going to make him rich. He told himself that it was because he felt sorry for her; her vulnerability and fragility were blatantly apparent to him. He felt the need to take her worry away. That was all.

  They arranged dinner
on Monday evening (Johnny might have thought that he had suggested dinner without thinking, although perhaps his subconscious was thinking more than he realised), and Grace left to go back to her fictional demanding boss.

  ‘See you Monday,’ she said, smiling. The smile, which lasted a while, was a triumphant one. Phase Three had worked.

  ‘Who was that?’ Dan, Johnny’s colleague, walked into his office after Grace left.

  ‘A potential client.’

  ‘Can I have her?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Johnny, you’re happily married, I’m unhappily single. I should get all clients that look like that.’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘Oh shit, are you blind? She is only one of the most gorgeous women I’ve ever seen.’

  ‘I hadn’t really noticed.’ Dan laughed; Johnny had turned red. ‘Well, maybe I noticed but I’m married, not blind.’

  ‘Exactly. Come on, I’ll buy you lunch and you can tell me all about her.’

  Johnny went home that night feeling disturbed. He had met this woman twice and she unnerved him. He put his feelings down to sympathy, although he definitely found her attractive, for some reason that made him feel guilty. But he really had nothing to feel guilty about. He was married, not blind.

  When Grace left Johnny on Wednesday she realised something. She had never felt it before, of that she was sure. Whatever she was feeling was new. Not only was it new but it was also wonderful. It was exciting, and made her feel wanton; free. Whatever it was, she was enjoying it. She was still in control of what she was doing, but barely.

  Perhaps it was going to be easier than she had first imagined. He suggested dinner; she was going to ask him for lunch the following week. She was euphoric, but, as she explained to Nicole, only because she was winning. Nothing more. He was good-looking, he was funny and kind. But it was only about the bet. That was all. And all the fuzzy feelings, the central healing that had been switched on inside her, that was only because of the bet. Nothing more. Because, as she had written in her book, Phase Four, the dinner date, was in the bag.