Fangtastic

by Lucienne Diver

  “Let’s go,” I said, turning away from the confusion and fear in Nelson’s eyes. Now was not the time to confront Selene. Later, in the confusion of the escape, the two could easily be separated. Permanently.

  I got to the doorway first and looked both ways, ducking quickly back inside as two guards in goggles that made them look like ant aliens turned onto the hall. Night-vision goggles. Crap. Eric had warned me that anything turned off and stowed in their upright and locked position would survive the EMP.

  “We’ve been spotted!” I cried, but quietly, just in case I was wrong. “Grab something to use as a weapon.” Because no way was I surrendering any of mine. Not that I didn’t trust Selene … to stab me in the back.

  There was no time to think beyond that. In a blink, the two alien-thugs were in the doorway, aiming pistols our way. I was counting on wooden bullets and on not getting hit. Also, winning the lottery, regaining my reflection, and becoming a Victoria’s Secret model … not necessarily in that order. I kicked the gun hand of the first guy, even as he fired. His shot went high, but he kept hold of the gun and was already lowering it for a second shot.

  Nelson/Xander reached right over me and ripped the gun out of his hand, turning it back on the thug. The other one used his partner’s shoulder as a stabilizer and fired off a shot, zinging the gun straight out of Nelson’s hand. It flew into the air. While thug one winced from the sound of the gunshot going off in his ear, I brought a knee up hard into his groin. His dangly bits were no match for my nicely-shaped knees, and he went down like the loser in a drunken game of Twister, leaving thug two totally exposed.

  He re-aimed his pistol at me—clearly the bigger threat since I’d just downed his pal. Selene finally entered the fight, whirling an IV pole over my head and whacking the last thug standing in the temple. His head cracked ominously, and he fell to the ground like Humpty Dumpty off the wall.

  I frisked him quickly for weapons, thinking twice before finally deciding to arm Selene. “The only way out is with me,” I told her, fixing her with the hairy-eyeball and loading any mesmeric mojo I might have into the statement. “I have a team outside. You’re either with us or you’re dead.”

  Nelson grabbed the second gun off the floor where it had gone flying. He was kind of awkward in his movement—gawky as though he’d just gone through a growth spurt and didn’t yet know how to handle his arms and legs, which made sense if he was walking around in someone else’s body—especially if he hadn’t had a lot of practice at it because the vamps had kept him hungry or locked away. At least, it seemed, I could trust Selene where he was concerned. She’d look after his body, if not his soul.

  I peeked into the hall, and this time found the coast clear. There was a door straight across the way. If we could get a good running start, with our vamp speed and power we should be able to bust it down. But we couldn’t all hit the door at once. There wasn’t room. As the most petite, and the boss besides … I delegated.

  “You two, bust down that door. Bust down as many as you can. I’m going to get us reinforcements.”

  Nelson nodded. Selene looked more dubious about my authority, but finally nodded as well, which was good, because kicking her butt would take time I wasn’t sure we had. I dashed down the hall to the next open door and was just inside when I heard them slam into the room opposite.

  No one jumped me this time, and I could see why in an instant. A lab coat guy … no, gal this time, at least if the long red hair was anything to go by … must have gotten too close to one of the vamps on the gurneys. Whether the vamp had mesmerized her or she’d just been careless, it was clearly the last mistake she’d ever make. I couldn’t see her face through all the hair, but I could see her throat—what was left of it.

  I looked into the eyes of the vampire responsible and realized that the name Very Scary was clearly an understatement. Homicidal. Psychopathic. Evil. Any of those would have been a lot more accurate. I tried to think whether under the same conditions—trapped, fighting for the strength to break free—I would have torn out a woman’s throat. The blood I’d taken from her fellow tech curdled in my stomach. No. Never. Not even if I’d been starved to the point of feral. Kelly Swinter had survived, after all.

  I tore my gaze away from those eyes that glittered like snake venom and turned to the vamp on the other bed in the room. I didn’t recognize him, but at this point I was perfectly willing to take the devil I didn’t know over the one I did. I freed his bonds and he dashed to Very Scary’s side.

  “Don’t,” I ordered, leveling the guard’s gun at him. “You’re with me. We’re freeing the others.”

  His eyes widened as he turned back at my command and spotted my gun. “But what about—”

  “Leave him.” I was bluffing with the gun, I was almost sure of it. Shooting him wouldn’t be any better than what Very Scary had done to the girl. Unless the wound I inflicted was non-lethal.

  Very Scary rattled his gurney, making a helluva racket trying to free himself. “You’re still thinking like a human,” he spat. “It’s us against them.”

  “Right now, I don’t want to claim either of you,” I told him with perfect honesty. I waved my gun at the other vamp. “Move.”

  With a single glance back at Very Scary, he moved off into the hall, where Selene and Nelson had managed to free two others. Down the end of the corridor, toward the entrance, I heard shouting and more explosions. It sounded like the battle was still going full force. But we had a growing army now, and the Federal flunkies would soon be sandwiched between the vamps and our small band of rebels.

  I picked the two biggest vamps besides Nelson-Xander, who was already rubbing his door-bashing shoulder. “You two, keep banging down doors and freeing the others. Do not let your leader loose or you answer to me.”

  They looked at each other, probably wondering why they were taking orders from a green girl half their size, but “escape” must have registered with them. Either that or I was far more intimidating than I thought.

  “The rest of you, come with me.”

  We headed toward rather than away from the noise and found the hospital guards falling back to the entrance. There were a dozen or so still standing, but they were bloodied. The guards in the back turned at our approach. The closest, realizing attack would be coming from both sides now, gave a cry, dropped his weapon, and dropped to the floor himself, assuming a non-threatening position with arms spread. His closest compatriot saw this and twisted his face up with disgust. He wasn’t going down that easily. He yelled something unflattering and started firing at us. Too high to hit me—one advantage of being short—but behind me someone gasped and stumbled back. The others roared around me like a tidal wave, rushing the hero guard and taking him down, spraying bullets as he went. The hulk that was Nelson grunted and jerked with the impact of a round to the shoulder, but kept on going. Other cries of pain nearly drowned out the sound of gunfire, and I rushed in, elbowing a guard in the gut as he raised a rifle to fire on Selene, who had her back to him dealing with one of his pals. I got in under his guard, and as he oophed, I used all my weight to wrench his gun from him.

  Out of nowhere came a blow to my lower back with a gun butt, and I fell forward, through a sudden gap in the guards. I would have gone sprawling on my face if Bobby hadn’t caught me. I smiled fiercely. Glad to see him, glad I’d fought my way through. Fell through. Same difference. We turned as one, shoulder to shoulder to meet the remaining resistance, but it was short-lived. The Feds were down to less than half the remaining flunkies—few enough that Bobby was able to disarm them all with one great Jedi mind trick … or anyway, telekinetic blow to their weaponry. Guns clattered to the floor and hands went up. In some cases only one hand, as the other put pressure on a war wound.

  “Lock them up,” I ordered the vamps still standing.

  Selene stepped to the front, hands on her hips and

  eyes blazing cold fire. “Just a second. Who made you boss? You don’t get to decide to leave the mast
er behind. We don’t take orders—”

  A sound like a hive of pissed-off wasps broke in on her, and suddenly she froze, her eyes rolling up into her head. She fell jittering to the floor.

  Hulk-Nelson stood behind her, holding a taser he must have taken off one of the guards.

  “I’ve had enough of her,” he said, glaring around. “Anybody else?”

  No one else seemed inclined to step up, at least not at that moment. The freed vamps started rounding up the guards and taking them back to the newly empty rooms for lockup.

  Nelson stayed in place, now staring at me in challenge.

  “They can’t have it back,” he said, giving me a look that dared me to argue.

  I didn’t even blink. You didn’t look away from a potential nutbar with a taser. “Have what back?” I asked.

  “This body. They’ve ruined mine. They locked me away, but I heard everything. I know my face has been splashed all over the media. I’m a wanted man. Xander did the crime, he can do the time.”

  Bobby came up to stand beside me. Then Marcy and Brent. If he tried to come at me with that taser, he wouldn’t get far. Hell, Bobby could drop him where he stood. But after all he’d been through …

  “That seems fair,” I told him.

  His stance eased a little … until the sirens started off in the distance, until a new figure stepped through the outer door and said, “The police are on their way. We’d better get going.”

  “Uncle Eric?” Nelson asked, wonder in his voice. His face went through a complete transformation, and remarkably I could see the teen boy inside. He dropped the taser.

  “Nelson?” Eric asked back. “Is that really you?

  They rushed at each other, and suddenly there was a big old hugfest right there in the entryway with freed vamps streaming around us, running off before the sirens could get any closer.

  “Guys,” Brent cut in, “can we put the family reunion on hold? We’d better get out of here right flippin’ now.”

  “But we can’t just leave this place to start right up again once we’re gone,” I protested.

  “I don’t think that’s going to be a problem,” Marcy said. “We destroyed most of the fence. The vamps probably destroyed the rest on their way out. And now that they know it’s here … ”

  “The Feds’ll just start fresh somewhere else,” I said with a sigh.

  “Nothing we can do about that tonight,” Brent answered. “Let’s move.”

  We raced off into the night, leaving the authorities to clean up our mess.

  17

  Brent hot-wired us a van from the hospital lot—a much roomier ride than we’d had on the way over—and we rushed to escape the area before any kind of perimeter could be set up. If the area went into lockdown, if the state or local authorities set up roadblocks and checkpoints, we’d be toast.

  Eric took some crazy chances and ran at least three red lights. I wouldn’t have given him credit for having the balls, but I had to admit, I was pretty impressed—terrified, but impressed. It wasn’t until he finally slowed and started driving like a law-abiding citizen that it occurred to me that we’d destroyed a lot more than a Federal facility. We’d pretty much blown up our past, present, and future. We couldn’t go back … not to Mozulla, Ohio, not to the Hudson Valley of New York, and now not to anywhere near Tampa, Florida. The Feds would be looking for us, probably with homicidal intent. Was there anywhere we’d be safe?

  “Uh, guys?” I said into the silence. “What now?”

  “Well, I thought we’d head back to my hideout,” Eric answered. “No one’s found it yet, and you should be safe—”

  “No, I mean what next? Not where do we go to ground for a day, but after that.”

  We’d gone from high school, which at least had some end in sight, to the potential of eternity tangled up in vampire power plays, to an offer we couldn’t refuse to work for the Feds. As long as I’d been alive, someone had insisted I do this or that. Sure, I did it my way, in style, but still … Now we had all the freedom a price on our heads would allow and no direction. Kinda like having a degree but no idea what to do with the rest of your life, and we had a helluva lot of it in front of us. It was … scary. Maybe scarier than anything else we’d faced so far.

  “That’s a good question,” Brent said, squeezing Marcy’s hand. “You have an idea?”

  “I do,” Bobby cut in. Everybody but Eric looked at him expectantly. “This isn’t over—this Cold War or whatever between the Fangs and the Feds—and both are messing with civilians.”

  “Civilians?” Brent asked.

  “Yeah, like I was before the Feds sucked me in, before I met you,” Marcy said, bumping him with her shoulder. He bumped her back, and before long it devolved into rolling around on the floor of the van in a liplock of epic proportions—moaning, groping, and rubbing up against each other. Hot enough to get them a PG-13 rating. Bobby and I looked at each other and exchanged a smoldering glance of our own. We had ideas, but they’d keep. We could totally be the mature ones.

  “You were saying,” I prompted Bobby, trying to ignore my bestie and her new boy toy as they rolled into my leg.

  “Look, we might have busted into that hospital to rescue Nelson, but we busted the others out because what the Feds were doing was wrong. But now, whatever the vamps do—whether they find a way to overcome their sunlight sensitivity or mesmerize people to line up to be lunch … it’s on us.”

  Well, crap. “So what do you propose we do about it?”

  “There must be other sites, right? Other places, other states, other facilities. We find them and we shut them down.”

  “Us against the Feds?” Marcy asked dubiously.

  “And the vamps. Think about it like checks and balances on the whole thing.”

  “Like what?”

  “You know, like the three branches of government are each supposed to keep watch on the others. We keep an eye on the Fangs and the Feds and step in where we’re needed.”

  “Oh, the Fangs and the Feds,” Marcy answered. “That’s much better.”

  “I’m in,” Nelson said instantly.

  Eric almost veered off the road. “You sure about that? You’ve only just gotten your life back—”

  “After everything they did to me … Yeah, I’m sure. But only if you’re with us.”

  “I—crud puppies!” Eric cursed, suddenly slowing down to a crawl. He stared off to the left, down a side street we were creeping past. Halfway down the block was a cluster of cars, all dark. No bells or whistles, but one of them had a light bar on top. Patrol unit, no doubt. A small army of men swarmed from them in dark suits or crime-scene-tech coveralls. “They found where I’ve been staying. I thought we’d be safe there, but … ”

  “I know where we can go,” I said. “Or at least who we can call.” All eyes were on me now, which was as it should be. “Anybody got a cell phone?”

  Brent produced one from his pocket, surprisingly not crushed into dust with all the rolling around he’d just been doing with Marcy.

  I raised a brow at him. “A disposable,” he said. “Not Federal issue.”

  “Great.” I still remembered Hunter’s number. Maybe all the super spy training had finally taken … just in time for me to use it against them.

  The call went through and the phone started to ring. I knew I could count on Hunter’s help, as long as I was willing to pay the price. All it would take was one little kiss … the eternal kind.

  “So, where do we want to start?” I asked as I waited for the call to connect.

  “Vegas,” Eric offered.

  “L.A.,” Marcy chirped.

  “Somewhere a lot less sunshiny,” Bobby suggested. “Maybe the Pacific Northwest.”

  “Salem, Massachusetts,” Brent said. “We’ll blend right in.”

  Hunter came on the line and we arranged to meet. Tonight we’d get the hell out of Dodge. Tomorrow we’d take on the world.

  The End.

  © Olan Mills


  About the Author

  Lucienne Diver writes humorous vamps, because it’s hard to take life seriously when your puppy sits under your desk licking your toes as you type. Her heroine, Gina, got her start in Vamped and, as will come as no surprise to those who’ve read it, subsequently decided she wanted more, more, MORE! Thus, one book became two and two will become four—who knows where it will stop? Today the book store, tomorrow the mall!

  Stay tuned for the further adventures of the Covello

  Clan in Fangtabulous, forthcoming from Flux Books!

  Table of Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  Copyright Information

  Acknowledgments

  Dedication

  Vampire Dictionary

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  17

  About the Author