Samuel Johnson's Eternal Return

by Martin Riker

  Copyright © 2018 by Martin Riker

  Cover design by Kyle G. Hunter

  TV test pattern image on cover © Donald Sawvel/Shutterstock.com

  Silhouette images on cover © iStock.com/majvecka

  Book design by Rachel Holscher

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  Coffee House Press books are available to the trade through our primary distributor, Consortium Book Sales & Distribution, cbsd.com or (800) 283-3572. For personal orders, catalogs, or other information, write to info@coffeehousepress.org.

  Coffee House Press is a nonprofit literary publishing house. Support from private foundations, corporate giving programs, government programs, and generous individuals helps make the publication of our books possible. We gratefully acknowledge their support in detail in the back of this book.

  LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA

  Names: Riker, Martin, 1973–author.

  Title: Samuel Johnson’s eternal return: a novel / Martin Riker.

  Description: Minneapolis: Coffee House Press, 2018.

  Identifiers: LCCN 2018004534 | ISBN 9781566895361 (eBook)

  Subjects: LCSH: Future life—Fiction. | GSAFD: Allegories.

  Classification: LCC PS3618.I532 S26 2018 | DDC 813/.6—dc23

  LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018004534

  252423222120191812345678

  for my wife and son

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Acknowledgments

  Funder Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  1.

  The Susquehanna is a pleasant avuncular river that winds down through Pennsylvania toward the Chesapeake, past airy forest and farmland, and these days, of course, past those endless suburban expanses. But if you drive north along the edge of it, under Harrisburg’s small-city skyline, then purple mountains sliced away at the ends by the highway administration, past the last Amish fruit stand and tiny beleaguered college town, you will eventually arrive at what is left of William Penn’s once-illustrious woods: a sylvan paradise, empty of humans, thus of human concerns. Continue on, along a narrowing road beneath a sky of leaves and branches, and soon you begin to imagine, or half imagine, that this place, these woods, are everything that exists in this world. Whatever you’d meant to accomplish, whoever you’d hoped to become, all you’d previously called reality seems suddenly a distant memory . . . And as the last thought of human society extinguishes itself, as your last worldly expectation slips away, if at that point you turn right and continue on for about twenty more miles, you will come to the town where I was born, called Unityville.

  It is an idealistic name, Unityville, and well earned, in my opinion. There is great, near-total unity in Unityville. There are also only about thirty people, all of them religious zealots, or rather there were thirty at the time when my parents first moved there, that time being very long ago now. Today the number is probably closer to forty-five.

  My parents, who were also religious zealots, arrived in the town eight months pregnant, having lived full lives in the world of society and come to see that world as nonsensical if not pernicious, and certainly no place to raise a son. I’ve often tried to imagine how they felt that first day, having ridden for miles through thick forest to arrive, at last, at our single dirt road, our shabby houses and garden patches, finally to park before our white slant-roofed church with its barn full of livestock out back. Were they pleased or disappointed by its smallness? Disheartened or emboldened by its shabbiness? Its isolation, at least, they’d signed on for, and I imagine them awed by it, and by their own resolve, convinced they’d accomplished something deeply profound by finding such a crummy place to live.

  They were not long in town, however, before my father discovered that a stockpile of righteous indignation is no substitute for a job. And so it came to pass that every weekday morning of my childhood, my father climbed into a blue Studebaker station wagon to depart for the impossibly distant-seeming city of Williamsport, where he worked for the phone company, doing what I don’t know. Each night he returned, visibly crumpled. Far from escaping society, it seemed, he’d only increased his commute. My mother, faced with shouldering both halves of our family’s churchly burden, immersed herself in religious activities to which I was invariably dragged along. My childhood, then, was spent largely alone, waiting out activities that did not personally involve me, leafing through my lessons in the church foyer or loitering among the pews, where I proved to have as little aptitude for religious belief as for any other sort. Days were blank and formless. Weekends filled with church and chores. Year followed year, and if I was never particularly oppressed by feelings of discontent or dissatisfaction, it also never occurred to me that there existed a reality either better or worse than the one I’d been born into, or a person more vibrantly alive than the dullard I seemed destined to become.

  I should clarify that when I say I was alone, I don’t mean that there were no other children in Unityville. There were several, but they held no interest for me, or no more interest than anything else. There was one girl in particular, Emily, who was close to my age and fond of me. She was an imaginative, enthusiastic young woman, always trying to engage me in one activity or another, and the perfect indifference I showed her is as good an illustration as any of my personality at that time. A loner. A mope. Whether I’d brought it into the world with me or picked it up along the way, mine was a magnificent vapidity, an unprecedented nullity of spirit. I was a compulsive nonengager, a natural-born audience member, a couch potato who’d only to discover his couch.

  The event that brought an end to this mortal stupor and determined forever my fate was the arrival, one autumn morning in my twelfth year, of a television set. By what star-crossed circumstance a television came to be in Unityville is a story I will tell in a moment, but suffice it to say that at a time when television was still new, when programming was scarce and sets not yet ahead of sofas in the hierarchy of family furniture, the arrival of a television in Unityville was less likely than a stigmata, and considerably less welcome. What interest had these people, who sought nothing so much as escape from society, in watching an idealized version of it? No interest at all. In fact, the argument that arose among the townspeople—the first argument I’d ever witnessed in that town—was never about whether the television should be used, since all agreed it should not be. It was simply whether the set should be disposed of outright or secreted away and forgotten. Why the latter course was deemed more prudent is what I’ll now attempt to explain.

  Although citizens of Unityville were sometimes forced to venture outside our small community, the only people who ever visited us were from a large Amish colony some miles south. These people, having lived apart from society far longer than we had, were considerably better at it. They lived without electricity, for example, something the people of Unityville would never even attempt. They were also quite handy, so conveniently so that Unityville had become grossly reliant upon them, even for basics of survival. They built our houses, helped plant and cultivate our crops. We paid them, of course, and thus a relationship had grown up between our two communities. It was strictly a business relationship, but courteous
and respectful, and beneficial for everyone involved.

  But there was one among these Amish called Brother Abram, a huge muscular boy-man of perhaps twenty at the time I’m recounting, whom the people of Unityville secretly referred to as “the bad one.” He was not bad in the sense of being angry or devious, but he fit poorly into our understanding of what an Amish person should be. He was not a bad man, in other words, but simply a man who was not good, we thought, at being Amish. He was very outgoing, for one thing, even gregarious, and took a somewhat aggressive personal interest in our community and way of life. Generous with his time, always offering to help in one way or another, often for no payment, always teaching and advising, and more than once he had been the solution to some great crisis or other. In short, “the bad one” was quite good to us. And while there were certainly those suspicious of the interest he took in our lives—and particularly his interest in the period lived prior to Unityville, the lives our citizens had left behind them—and while these suspicions occasionally led one or another townsperson to suggest that Brother Abram had questionable intentions and distinctly un-Amish ambitions and would for these reasons be best kept at arm’s length, still, at the end of the day, even the most cautious among us had to acknowledge how greatly we benefited from his particular combination of enthusiasm and expertise. Dubious, no doubt, but we were beholden to him.

  Thus when “the bad one” arrived one brisk autumn morning, after the leaves had already turned their fiery colors but before they’d all fallen to the ground, with a television weighing down the back of his buggy, the citizens of Unityville were not sure what to do. It was a light, crisp morning, in my memory it still is, a morning both chilly and bright, with both breath-clouds and birdsong, and we watched him ride up toward the church steps as all of us were wandering out. He rode up and stopped and stood on the driver’s bench, arms spread wide. He gestured with pride toward the back of his buggy and seemed almost childishly disappointed when the townspeople scowled at what they saw there. He spoke then, and while he did not say where he’d found the television, he said a great deal else. And if I remember his speech distinctly, with perhaps here and there those embellishments that memory inevitably tacks on, this is because it was the largest number of words I’d ever heard spoken by an Amish person, and because it was the first truly memorable thing that had ever happened to me.

  “Brethren,” he began, in his Amish way of speaking, “I have ridden me all over creation, o’er hill and dale, through holepots and downwet to gift to you this heathen lichtbox. Yay, well nough I know vhat you’d say! But, Brother, you say, ve left us long-go the crotch of vorldlitude, what need us this demon’s fernhoodle? Whereforhowever I say unto you, in none but goodvill and friendveeling, that the lowchance of use in yourn Christian hands outwroughts the nochance of use in mine own! For though ve Amish use no lectrical vices, yet you good Christians do keep a steady lectric supply, vhich maketh this costly piece of modern lectrical furniture somewhat fruitfillier in yourn than in mine own keeping! And since I have been a good friend to you, and good and hand-lending neighbor, I trust you vill receivedeth that vhich I have ridden me o’er hill and dale, through holepots and downwet at no small cost and convenience, and keep it vell and grossie safe, that even twould you maketh no use upon it yourn ownselfs, no less so twould you save it up for company, and”—actually, I will summarize what he said.

  In summary, then, what Abram said to the people of Unityville was that he wished his “gift” to be housed there, in our electrically wired town, where he himself might make use of it, regardless of what the rest of us did. He never explained or justified his interest in the television but pummeled away instead on the question of why we should house it, or rather how we should, in what manner. This was the question he had ostensibly brought to us, and he proceeded to offer, as solution, that he would build a special dwelling, at his own expense and by his own hand, a “good neighbor haus.” Set far off in the woods, this “haus” would be near enough to receive electrical current but far enough to remain out of the town’s way. Opened to all, visited by none—what say we? He stopped short of enumerating the consequences were his proposal to be poorly received.

  His speech over, Abram at last lifted the television—an enormous wooden console; truly he was a mountain—placed it upon the ground, and rode off into the morning chill, leaving at our feet both the television’s fate and, in some unspoken yet clearly understood sense, our own.

  There followed a hush, then a kind of group fidget, and even, for a moment, the semblance of a split. Those who’d warned of Brother Abram’s dubious intentions allowed themselves to bask in the satisfaction of having their suspicions confirmed; yet their glory was short-lived, and soon they, like the rest, became morose with the moral perplexity before us. How did the necessary good of Abram’s labor weigh against the relatively ignorable bad of his television set? What constituted a compromise of our values, versus a Christian respect for values not our own? Does the Bible address directly the question of proximity? Of where lines get drawn? Or does the need to draw a line at all mean the battle is already over, that goodness and righteousness have already lost, and that all of us were doomed to some horrific fate simply for entertaining this topic? The next day Brother Abram returned and, finding the television still among us, smiled warmly, but not too warmly—he did not overperform “warmth”—attempted to lay hands upon shying-away shoulders, then cheerfully took to the woods, scouting locations for his “haus.”

  This is the point at which I at last enter this story, for among the very few pieces of useful information to be found in my head at that time was an extensive explorative knowledge of the town’s surrounding geography, and Abram, who knew the area poorly, or at any rate claimed to, very pleasantly asked me along. Thus began what quickly became a sort of apprenticeship, for after the site was chosen, Abram continued to involve me, throughout the planning, the building—he showed me things, taught me things. And in a very short time we had erected together, about a hundred yards from town but surrounded entirely by forest, a two-room “haus” with a large antenna.

  Oh fateful little house! I picture you now as clearly as if I were back there in the past, when you were still in my future. Your cleared-away plot, your stray boards and tiles. Whitewashed walls, the whole strange sight of you. What did I think of you then? If only I’d known! Future site of all my life’s happiness, as well as my failures, my regrets, and ultimately my undoing.

  The outside, being windowless, was a bit grim, but inside included a main room with a small kitchen area and a comfortable sofa and chair, as well as a back room whose purpose was initially unclear to me. At the center of the main room stood the television, always off while I worked there, and which Abram never once suggested I might watch. It simply stood there as we worked around it, this wood and glass object, the first true “object” of my imagination—it seemed I had an imagination after all—curious to me both for its exoticism, having come from the world outside, and for what I understood it to do. Part magic, part invention, a box that opened with light and exhaled infinity, through which a fantastic pageant of voices and images beamed into the room, lives “out there” beyond our small town, not real, exactly, but created in reality’s image, a vision of life through a window to another world.

  As construction neared an end, Abram’s visits to Unityville became more frequent. Daily, in fact, and never with his Amish brethren, but always alone. He would appear in the morning and work through the day—for food, on various projects—then in the evening retire to his “haus,” where I now know, but at the time did not know, or perhaps simply did not bother to acknowledge for myself that I knew, he almost certainly spent his nights. I, at any rate, would see him only during the day, as I continued to work alongside him and in fact took on an increasingly useful role. For whereas previously I had done mostly lifting and hauling, by now I’d acquired such abilities as to handle more skilled work, which Abram happily relinquished to me, eve
n while failing to take upon himself any of my own menial labor, so that increasingly I found myself doing all the work while Abram sat by, talking about television.

  Not that I minded! On the contrary, I was always encouraging and prompting him for descriptions of the various programs he watched. There was a grown man named Miltie and a puppet named Howdy. There was a dog named Lassie and a singer named Perry. There were things called “game shows” where people answered questions for money, and there were dance programs, and news programs. I tried to imagine them, those living pictures, those fantastical scenarios, but my field of reference lacked acreage, and there was not enough varied material in my head to create for myself a vision even half as stimulating as Abram’s descriptions themselves.

  By now the reader will have assumed that I eventually made my way to Abram’s “haus” to insinuate myself on the sofa there—and of course, yes, I did. But what you may be surprised to learn, as indeed I was very surprised to find when I arrived late one summer night of my thirteenth year, having at last summoned the courage to squeeze out a back window an hour past my parents’ bedtime—the figure I was surprised to find perched upon the couch, beyond Abram’s doorway silhouette, her face washed gray in the television’s flicker, was Emily, the girl who always tried to get my attention, the one I’d largely ignored. I’d never seen her with Abram, nor even imagined her with him—yet now the sight made such an impression upon me that it would remain in my head forevermore. Before I first laid eyes upon a living screen, I saw the glow of that screen on a human face. There was Emily, whom I barely knew. There was Emily, watching television.

  “Emily?” I said.

  She looked back, broke away from that television to smile at me.

  She said: “It’s you!”

  Meanwhile Abram was turning from one to the other of us, caught in a rather ugly scowl, as if his face had momentarily forgotten it was visible to those around him. Finally he shrugged. “In you come.”