Layover
Page 17
“You know, Ny. Compassion is a very important attribute to have in business. Compassionate people are always successful. Look at all the great philanthropists of the world. Giving is what made some of them the richest people in the world. You’ve got the give. I believe that. However, I also believe that you have to know when to give, how to give, and whom to give to.”
Here it comes. I knew he was going to get on me. I hate to say it, but it’s times like these that I wish I was still with Kenny. It never would have taken him this long to make a point. Kenny would simply have said,
What the fuck do you think you’re doing inviting that bitch to my momma’s house? You can’t invite someone to a house that’s not even yours. Now you better go back and tell her ass that she can’t come. You know that bitch is crazy anyway. I’m not playing. My momma is going to kill you.
Instead, I’m about to get the school lecture. Maybe I can circumvent the whole thing by simply confessing my sins and praying for forgiveness.
“Listen Allen, I know you’re upset about me inviting Akina to dinner. You are not going to be the only one. But I did what I thought was right. Now, we are all supposed to be religious people. Do you think God would be pleased with us if we left a woman that we all know alone on Thanksgiving? What if the Native Americans said, ‘Forget y’all Pilgrims. Nobody told y’all to sail your happy asses over here anyway. We’re not sharing anything. Go get your own sweet potato pie’.”
I was very adamant about what I had done. I was following my heart and it felt good.
“You’re right Ny. I was being selfish.”
I’m what? I’m right? What?
I have never, in all of my 3 some odd years with Kenny, heard those words. I was beginning to think that is wasn’t possible.
“So was I. I should have asked you how you felt about it before I invited her.”
“It’s ok, Ny. We are learning as we go.”
We pulled up to the house and I immediately started thinking about what I was going to say to my mother-in-law. I wasn’t sure how she was going to react about the news that Akina was coming, so I had to be very tactful. My strategy was going to be trying to tug at her heart strings. After all, it was my tender heart that compelled me to invite her in the first place. As we walked into the house, I began:
“Ma, you won’t believe who was working alone at the store this morning.”
“Who, my baby?”
“Akina. Her family left and went to New Orleans so she is going to be alone for Thanksgiving.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. You should have invited her over here - I mean if Allen doesn’t mind.”
“I did invite her and Allen said that it would be fine.”
“You did a good thing, Ny. No one should spend Thanksgiving alone.”
So I was right, after all. I knew it. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t the last person on earth with a heart. I began to help my mother-in-law set the food on the table. I was excited about dinner and nervous, all at the same time. I really didn’t know how I was supposed to act now that I was officially with Allen but still married to Kenny. Even more so than that, I didn’t know how Kenny was going to act. Kenny was a trip. You just never knew what he was going to pull. Hell, Kenny was so hurt, he might not even show up for dinner. I guess the most comforting thing was that Lisa was not going to be there. I wasn’t worried about her, though, because she has a lot of family and emotional support during these times. Hell, she even has Michael. She was doing a lot better than Kenny. Still, I don’t feel sorry for Kenny because he brought all of this on himself. Yet, I can’t help but wonder where we would be right now if I had not had that layover in Denver.
As we laid the last dish out on the huge dining room table, we could hear Denise’s practical, economy car pull up. She entered the house in her loud and usual way.
“So you two are an item, now?”
We smiled and looked at each other.
“Ma called and told me everything. I’m so happy for you guys. I’m always glad to see two nerds in love, trying to make it work. Where is Kenny?”
“We don’t know. He left this morning.”
“Maybe we will be lucky and he won’t come back. We will have all the food to ourselves,” she joked.
Soon more cars pulled in and before long, the house was filled with uncles, aunts, cousins, nieces, nephews and a host of other distant relatives. It was the part that I loved the most - warm house full of family with lots of food. I felt very fortunate to be in the situation I was in. I mean, on one hand, I was losing a good man. But, on the other hand I was gaining a great man. Through it all, I was able to keep the same family, which was even more rewarding. My life was great and I was excited to be me. As each person entered the house, they all asked me the same question, “Where is Kenny?”
I began to feel awkward and wondered if this wouldn’t be the best time to just tell everyone what was going on. It seemed logical since everyone was here. There wouldn’t be the need to try to explain individually why I am no longer with one brother, and now with another. I pulled my mother in law to the side and asked if it would be alright if Allen and I made an announcement later. She thought it was a great idea.
“Ny, I think under the circumstances, that might be best. Just make sure everyone is here when you do, so you won’t have to say it again.”
“Ma, why don’t you let me say the blessing for the food and I’ll just slide it in at that time?”
“That’s fine, Ny.”
I told Allen what I was going to do.
“Ny, why don’t we show our unity by blessing the food together and making the announcement?”
I thought it was a great idea. I was so proud and excited to have someone like Allen. He was smart, strong, sensitive, and insightful. He was the perfect man. I used to think that Kenny was perfect but that was before I really got to know Allen. He had all the elements that Kenny was missing. Kenny was just a fine ass, chocolate nigga with a sweet ass beard. What’s worse is that if you told him that, he wouldn’t even be offended. He thinks everything in this world is based on your looks.
We sat around and watched the parade on television. We talked and everyone was anticipating the meal. I knew that, like every year, most of the family members who showed up just came for the meal. Soon after dinner was served, they would disburse to their respective homes. I think that’s why my mother-in-law cooks as much as she does, so she can lure the otherwise elusive members of the extended family. She loves to have her house full of people and what better way to do it than to feed them.
I looked out of the family room window and I could see that same tattered old Escort that Akina was driving pulling into the driveway. I felt my chest tighten as I tried to decide if this would be the best time to tell everyone the news. Kenny still hadn’t made it yet, but our guests were getting restless and were ready to eat. I hated making this kind of announcement without Kenny being here. It made me feel like we were doing it behind his back.
I opened the door for Akina and immediately heads turned and stared at her. There were many people in the family who remembered her and just as many who believe that her child really is Allen’s because they say the child resembles the family. I could see her tense up and may have been feeling like she would be attacked.
“Come on Akina, it’s cool,” I comforted her.
“I don’t know if this is a good idea,” she reconsidered.
“Akina, if at any point you feel unwelcome, you can leave. I just wanted you to know that there are people who care about you.”
I could hear family members inquiring amongst themselves about when the food would be served. I decided that it was time to make our announcement.
I went to the back and got Allen and we came to the family room.
“If everyone would come into the dining room, we will have our prayer and the food will be served. However, before we eat, Allen and I have an announcement to make.”
Everyone scurrie
d to the dining room and stood wide-eyed into my mouth and waited for words to come out.
“Everyone, what I am about to say may shock some of you and appall others. Still, we are not seeking your approval, nor your blessing, but rather your acknowledgement of this statement. My husband Kenny and I have entered into a separation that will soon end in divorce. Additionally, Allen and his wife, Lisa have done the same. These two events have arose as a direct result of Allen and my mutual love for one another. Therefore, Allen and I have decided to form a union between the two of us. We are deeply in love and plan to marry as soon as our situations permit. We wanted everyone to be aware, as to minimize rumors and scandals.”
I turned and looked at Allen, still holding his hand.
“Our love of for one another is pure and untainted. We feel that it is best that we come to you all in this way, as to not divide the family. Let us pray: We thank you God for all of the blessings you have given to us, and for the blessing to come. We look to you for strength and guidance. We pray that you protect us, keep us safe, and let no harm, nor danger come to us at any time. We look to you for all the help that we cannot give to ourselves and we pray that you give us the wisdom to exercise our free will to make the right decisions. You are most great and there is no God but you. We pray that you bless the food placed before us, and we ask that it be used to nourish our bodies and make us strong. We thank you, God, for bringing our family together for another year of eating, loving and laughing. Thank you God, for old loves, and new ones, and for families that only strengthen, not weaken - Amen.”
Everyone said Amen, if not for the prayer, for the food, and begin to dig in. I turned to Allen and while holding his hands in mine, kissed him. Ooo’s and aaaah’s filled the room. It was official. No more trying to explain to anyone or anything. We were together. We found a quiet little nook in the back of the kitchen and sat to eat our food. The dining room table was full with the “heads of the family” and the family room was much too noisy. We sat in the kitchen like servants and nibbled at our food. After a while, the obvious people had fixed to-go plates and left the house. And soon, the sound of a familiar motor was heard pulling up to the house. It was Kenny and he wasn’t alone. We could see from the family room window that a tall, thin White girl was getting out of the car with him. My worst fears had been confirmed, he was about to embarrass us all.
Kenny walked into the house and announced,
“Hi everyone, this is Becky.”
“Belinda,” she corrected him.
“Yeh,” he agreed.
Kenny looked over and at me and scanned the room looking for Allen. He had gone to the bathroom.
“Belinda, that’s my wife over there.”
Belinda looked puzzled.
“Oh, it’s ok. She’s divorcing me. She wants to marry my brother.”
Belinda continued to look as if she was on Jeopardy and did not know the answer.
Allen returned, surprised to see Kenny.
“That’s my brother, the one my wife is going to marry. His name is Allen. He’s married too, but he left his pregnant wife and son so he could be with my wife.”
Poor Belinda didn’t look like she was going to make it. I knew Kenny was just being dramatic. Belinda didn’t even look like she wanted to be there.
“Belinda, are you hungry?” I asked her.
“I’ll fix her some food,” Kenny offered, “Go on back over there with your man,” he insisted.
Allen and I smiled at each other. We both knew Kenny all too well and we both knew what he was up to. This was his way of healing. We had to let it run its course. Personally, it wouldn’t have mattered to me if he showed up with Halle Berry. I have the person I want now. I don’t get caught up in that jealousy game. I’ve wanted Allen for so long and now I finally have him. It’s a blessing I’m surely thankful for. I’m not about to get caught out there worrying about what Kenny is doing. He will be fine - whatever works for him.
“I can’t believe this fool shows up here with Nicole Brown-Simpson,” Allen joked.
“That’s your brother,” I reminded him.
We walked back to the kitchen and sat down. Akina came over to our little mini table and sat down.
“Guys, I’m really happy for you. I know it took a lot of courage to do what you did. I just want you to know that I never meant to cause any problems by coming here.”
“You didn’t cause any problems, I invited you.”
“No, I’m talking about the first time,” she stated
“Look, Akina, I’ll take the paternity test. I want to prove for once and for all that the child is not mine.”
“Fine, Allen. You do that, and I’ll be out of your life for good - provided the test is negative.”
“I’m not worried about that. I’ll give you my number in Colorado and we can arrange something.”
“Well, I’ve taken enough of your family time. Thank you for letting me share in your joy. I’ll be going now.”
“Wait a minute, Akina. Don’t leave, Allen and I will be right back.”
I took Allen to the back room.
“Honey, I’ve got an idea. We could do something nice and get a break from here all at the same time.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Let’s take Akina to New Orleans to be with her family. You and I can spend the night there and kick it.”
“Sounds cool to me, let’s see if she wants to.”
I went back in the living room and told Akina my idea. She was excited and thrilled. Allen and I went to our respective rooms and packed a small bag. We came back out and told my mother-in-law what we were going to do. She was happy for us and glad that we could do something nice for Akina.
We loaded up in the Tahoe and pulled out.
It wasn’t until we got on the highway that I realized how insane this idea really was. I mean this was the love of his life in the car with us. This was the one woman he loved more than me. Lisa was one thing, but she didn’t hold the status that Akina did. She was his first love. She was The One. I had no idea what the three of us would talk about for several hours in the car but since this was my bright idea, I knew I had to come up with something. The awkward silence was killing me and I would feel strange talking to Allen and not including Akina in the conversation.
“Your family is going to be glad to see you, huh?” I aked her.
“Yeh. They told me to just take off work, but I needed the money. You know, I got paid double time for working on a holiday. That’s like $10 something an hour.”
I thought I was going to fall out of the car. It seemed like a lifetime ago that I worked for such menial wages, and even then, $10 was regular hourly wage, not holiday time. It almost made me wish Akina’s child was really for Allen. Maybe she could have a better life.
“I know it’s not much, but that’s the best I can do without a degree.”
“Are you planning on going back to school,” I wanted to know.
“There’s no way I can do that with all these kids I have. What I would really like to do is get my real estate license.”
Ding, ding, ding! my eyes lit up light a Christmas tree and Allen could see me starting to turn around in my seat to find out more about Akina’s interest and possibly make her an offer. He put his hand on my thigh.
“Turn back around in your seat, Ny. Don’t even think about it. Remember our talk this morning. With compassion, comes discretion, knowing how and when to exercise it.”
I let out a disappointed sigh. Allen knew me better than I thought. It was always my first instinct to help someone. But, Allen was right. You have to know when and how you can help someone. I was certainly going to listen to Allen on this one. He knew Akina a lot better than I did. If he felt that I couldn’t help her in that way, then he must have had a good reason for feeling that way. I look at Akina as one of those people whose life just stops when something tragic happens to them. I consider her losing Allen a tragedy. I think her useful life sto
pped when he left her. I don’t know that she ever did anything particularly useful after that.
“What?” Akina asked, “You know someone in real estate? You know how I can get started?”
Allen looked at her in the rear view mirror as though he couldn’t believe that he was once in love with that person.
“I’m a real estate broker and developer,” I told her.
“For real? Do you know how I can get started selling houses?”
“Akina, there is a lot more to real estate brokerage than just selling houses. You have to be serious. It’s not just something to do to try to make some quick money. You have to be dedicated to the education portion of it.”
“You make it sound hard. I don’t want to do anything hard. I want to do something to make some money so I can take care of these kids.”
Allen looked at me as if to say, “See, I told you not talk to her about this.”
I didn’t have any more to say. She had just shown me that she was into quick fixes. As a dedicated student of the teachings of Stephen Covey, I frowned on quick fixes. You cannot get out of a problem with the same thinking you had when you created the problem. She probably had more children to get more money from the public assistance. Now she needs more money to take care of them. The same kind of thinking will never get her out of the problem. It was obvious that I could do nothing for her.
There was a long period of silence. I soon realized that I would never have to worry about Allen ever wanting this woman back. If there was one thing Allen despised, it was a lazy person who thought the world owed them something. That’s why his relationship with Kenny was so strained. Kenny basically had the same kind of thinking. The biggest differences between Kenny and Akina were that Kenny had a college degree, he maintained his looks, and he wasn’t a woman with a bunch of kids. Other than that, he had the same kind of hourly wage thinking that Akina was displaying. He felt the “White Man” owed him something, with his Black ass! I tried to tell him that no one owes him anything and that it was his responsibility to make a life for himself.