The Nanny's Secret

by Kiersten Modglin

  “I’m fine,” he says, shaking his head. “It was just a long night.”

  I take a seat in front of his desk, crossing one leg over the other. His eyes travel up my bare calf, meeting my hemline, and with it, my strength returns, despair diminishing. My smile feels catlike as I watch stains of scarlet appear on his cheeks. He looks away, back to my eyes, but doesn’t address his momentary lapse in resolve. Neither do I.

  “Come on, tell me.” It is nearly a command, and he takes it as such, sucking in a deep breath before beginning to talk.

  “I proposed to my girlfriend last night.” He clears his throat. “And she said no.”

  I place a hand on my chest, half on the fabric of my shirt and half on my exposed skin. “I’m so sorry, Tom.”

  “Honestly, I don’t want to make a big deal about it,” he says, waving off my concern. “I’ll be fine, and work’s a good distraction.” His gaze sweeps over my hand, but comes back to my eyes much quicker this time. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

  “Actually, there might be…” I lean forward, giving him a peek down the front of my pale pink dress. As I expected, his eyes travel down my neck, stealing a glance, then looking back at my face. It’s almost magnetic, like he can’t keep from looking. I watch him with smug delight. “Would you like to have lunch with me today?”

  When he speaks, his voice wavers. “Is that…I mean, is it allowed? Orrick’s out of the office. Shouldn’t someone be here, just in case?”

  “Orrick’s out of the office today, Tom,” I repeat his words back to him slowly, pressing my lips out more than necessary. “Is there any better time?”

  His fading blush fires back to crimson. “It would be, like…a work thing, right? We’d need to discuss a client or something.”

  I straighten back up with dignity, my smile patronizing as I watch him swallow. “I don’t intend on discussing work a single time. I think there are,” my fingers graze the neckline of my dress, slowing as they plunge to the lowest point, “other things we could talk about…don’t you?”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Orrick

  FOUR MONTHS AGO

  The door to our bedroom is shut tight, but that doesn’t stop me from hearing what they’re doing in there. Six months ago, she promised me she’d broken it off with him. Today, I know that was a lie.

  There are employees here—the cleaners, the security staff—but she has no regard for them. She never has. I want to kick in the door, scream at them for defiling the house— that I paid for—the way they are. I want to demand that he give a reason for betraying me like he has. After all I’ve done. After hiring him with the past that he has. Giving him a future he would’ve never dared dream of before me. I want to remind her they’re feet away from the bedroom where our son will sleep tonight, no idea what his mother does when he’s at school.

  Instead, I stand here. Frozen in place by a rage like no other. I listen as she calls his name, as he grunts hers.

  It’s been so long since we were locked in there for the same reason, through no fault of my own. I’ve been loyal to her for years, only finding relief in my palm while she’s found it with so many others.

  How many of them were in my bed? It’s the ultimate betrayal and, in this moment, I could kill them both. I want to. There are few who would try to stop me.

  Her cries become louder while, just below, I hear Maya’s and Lily’s voices, likely discussing dinner options. They saw me come in, and I watched their faces grow fearful. I knew before I knew. They were likely listening for me to confront them. Warren might be watching me on his monitor, waiting for the explosion. I look up at the camera in the hall, the anger making my chest so tight I can hardly breathe.

  I take a step back from the door, walking away in silence. If I were to go in there, I might do something I can’t take back.

  I am smarter than that.

  My revenge will take planning, but the line has been drawn.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Iris

  THREE MONTHS AGO

  “What do you mean you don’t want to meet for lunch today?” I ask, lowering my voice as I speak into the phone. Tom sits just feet from me, and I turn in my office, staring at him through the glass.

  “I don’t want to do this anymore, Iris. At all,” he says, his eyes filled with pain. I don’t understand. It’s been our agreement for over a year now. Every Wednesday since John started school, every Wednesday since Tom’s girlfriend broke his heart, we provide each other…stress relief. I crave it now as much as I crave the carbs I can no longer have.

  “I don’t understand,” I say, a suffocating sensation tightening in my throat. “Why not?”

  “I hope you can understand, it’s not anything you’ve done. It’s been really fun. I just need to…move on. It isn’t fair to either of us to keep this going much longer.”

  “Is it…because of Orrick?” I cast a glance into my husband’s office, where he’s oblivious, as usual, typing away on his computer. “Did he say something to you?”

  There’s urgency in his tone. “No! Why? Does he know about us?”

  “No, of course not,” I assure him, shaking my head with assertiveness. He will never know about us. “Which is why it’s fine for us to continue.”

  “No, Iris, it’s not just that, it’s…well, Mia and I ran into each other yesterday for the first time since the breakup. We got to talking and…we’re getting back together.”

  Mia who broke his heart. Mia who forced me to put it back together again. “That seems…out of the blue.” I keep my tone clipped, refusing to show any form of emotion.

  “It was. Kind of. I mean, I never thought I’d see her again after everything that happened, but she said she’s been thinking about me, wishing she could call—”

  “And why couldn’t she?”

  “She was…embarrassed. So was I. But what we had together was amazing—”

  “It still can be, Tom,” I tell him, my throat raw with unuttered protests.

  “No, I’m—I’m sorry. What we had, Iris, was great, too, but I meant between Mia and me. She’s…the love of my life. I love her. I can’t just walk away from her again, and I can’t get into a relationship while I’m still seeing you.”

  There it is, the whole truth. It slams into my chest with unfiltered force. He never cared about me; it was always Mia. I was just something warm to fill the void while he waited for her to come back to him and, lo and behold, now she has.

  “O-okay then.”

  “I’m really sorry,” he says, and I can see in his eyes he’s not. He’s already lost in the world of all things Mia, and I’ve been forgotten.

  “You don’t have to be sorry, Tom. I was only doing it to make you feel better. It was what you needed at the time.” I press my lips together with a grim smile, then turn away from him, back to my computer.

  “Right, yeah, that’s…that’s what I thought.” His voice is cool in my ear, and I know from here on out, everything will change between us. It’s what I’m best at. Drawing lines in the sand. First with Orrick, then AJ, now Tom. I unapologetically break everything in my life, and this is just another trophy added to that shelf. If only I’d had the sense to break it off with him first. I pride myself on maintaining the upper hand, and here, he’s managed to rip it from my grasp. Not for long, though. I’ll get my revenge. I will.

  I close my eyes as a betraying tear sneaks through, but I won’t dare wipe it for fear he’ll see.

  I’m stronger than this.

  I will be stronger than this.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Olivia

  PRESENT DAY

  “Lily?” I ask. Lily bends over the calendar, writing June at the top, and swipes a dry brush across all the previous month’s activities. My start date, just three weeks prior, is erased. It hits me as she does it. Exactly three weeks of me being under the employ of the Lockes. It’s time I start getting the answers I’ve been searching for.

&nbs
p; She glances up, pulling the pencil from her hair and laying it next to the dry erase marker on the counter. She stares at me. “Yeah?”

  “Do you like working for the Lockes?” I trace my finger across the silver patterns in the white marble countertop.

  She looks left, then right, as if she’s being pranked. “Why do you ask?”

  “I just…wondered, I guess.”

  “The Lockes have always been good to me,” she says, her words void of emotion. She looks back at the calendar.

  “That’s not the same as liking them, or liking working for them,” I point out. Upstairs, John cries out with triumph over his game. It’s a welcome change from the angry shouts I’ve been hearing all morning as he struggled through his latest level.

  “The Lockes aren’t really people you can like or dislike,” she says without looking up. She’s chewing on the end of her pencil now. It’s a wonder the thing’s not sawed in half the way she nibbles on it when she’s working.

  “What does that mean?” I ask with a bark of a laugh. “You can like or dislike anyone.”

  “Not them.” She pulls the pencil from her mouth and rests her hands on the counter in front of her with a heavy sigh. “What’s this about?”

  “They just seem so mysterious, you know? I feel like I’ve worked here long enough to know something about them.” I pause, waiting to surprise her with my biggest piece of information. “AJ says they can be dangerous.”

  “Anyone can be dangerous given the right circumstances.” She meets my eyes without flinching, hers the lightest shade of gold.

  “Them included?”

  “Them included. Me included. You included.” She leans over, resting her elbows on the counter. “Orrick and Iris have their problems, but those are their business. I’ve never felt I was in danger working here as long as I mind my own.”

  “Like I’m not doing, you mean?” I fill in the part of the sentence she hasn’t bothered to.

  She taps the pencil toward me in the air. “Bingo.”

  “Did you know Tom Carey?” I ask, and she flinches.

  “The guy from the news? The bomber?”

  I nod.

  She looks back toward the calendar, writing something down for next Friday and then using her pencil to scratch it off the list. “I knew he worked for Locke Industries.”

  “Orrick says they were close, that he saw him as a second son.”

  When she looks back up at me, there’s a twinkle of something insidious in her gaze. “The Lockes are close with quite a few of their employees. You, included, I’m guessing.”

  For a moment, I am too stunned to say anything, though I guess my wide eyes and slack jaw give me away. I had no idea the employees think Orrick and I are any closer than we should be, but what she said confuses me. Quite a few of their employees. “Were you and Orrick…”

  “God, no!” She curls her lips in disgust. “My gate swings in Iris’ direction more than Orrick’s, but even still, no thank you. I know way too much about this family to be interested in dipping my toes in their shenanigans.” She shrugs one shoulder. “But more power to you, sister, if that’s your thing.”

  I shake my head. “Nothing’s happened between me and Orrick.” It’s not technically true, but not far off.

  “Whatever you say,” she says with a sigh, going back to working. “Look, all I’m saying is, Orrick and Iris both have their fun, I guess, but at the end of the day, they have each other’s backs. So, watch yours because there’s no one to protect you if you make a misstep. I’ve seen it happen so many times.”

  “Seen what happen?”

  “If you mess up around here,” she draws a finger across her throat, “there are no slaps on the wrists. The Lockes put full trust in their employees. You don’t want to lose that.”

  Behind me, the front door slams shut, and I stand from the barstool as quickly as Lily gets back to work. I hear footsteps headed our direction and then, there he is.

  “Afternoon, ladies,” Orrick says, his smile brightening at us both as he lays his briefcase on the countertop and makes his way to the fridge to grab the smoothie Maya has prepared for him.

  “Hey,” I say, my face warm from his presence and Lily’s jesting.

  “Taking the afternoon off again, huh?” she teases, her tone heavy with insinuation. She’s right. Orrick has taken more and more time off since I started, choosing to spend his afternoons working from his study rather than at the office. While Iris is gone more than ever, he is present more often than not.

  “Pest control is spraying my office today,” he says, either oblivious or willfully ignoring her implications. “Working from home works just as well.” He grabs his briefcase in one hand, the smoothie in the other, and walks away from us, catching my eye once before he disappears.

  When his study door closes up above us, Lily giggles, shaking her head. “Girl, you are in so far over your head.”

  Her tone is light, but I wonder if there’s more to her words than she lets on. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I smile half-heartedly and step away from the counter, walking through the entranceway and up the stairs.

  On the top floor, I peer into Orrick’s study, walking slowly toward John’s bedroom to see if he’ll call for me. Some days he’s busy and doesn’t, but most days, he d—

  “Hey, Olivia.” I hear his voice as I make it halfway in between the rooms and grin to myself. Right on schedule.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Orrick

  She’s in my study, door closed, and I can hardly breathe.

  “How has John been today?” I start with small talk, as usual, to get her warmed up to me. Each day with Olivia is like starting all over, each ounce of progress from the previous day is lost and we start out practically strangers. We aren’t strangers, though, not even close. I know she has the hint of a tattoo on her left shoulder blade, though I have yet to see what it is; I’ve memorized the way her cheeks stain crimson when she’s embarrassed; I know she plays with her hair when she’s feeling insecure. I know her, maybe better than she realizes, and I know what I need to do to get us back to where we left off. Now that John is home on summer break, it’s easier to find time with her, but more difficult with being cautious about John’s presence.

  “He’s very into his video game,” she says with a laugh, then adds, “I’m wondering if Iris would like me to get him outside more often. Sometimes he’s in there for hours at a time.”

  I shake my head, maybe too quickly, but calm myself before I speak. “He deserves some time to relax, don’t you think? With only two months off out of a year, I tell Iris all the time, we should let the boy be a boy.”

  She wags her finger at me. “That kind of thinking is getting a lot of boys in trouble nowadays, haven’t you heard?”

  I smile, because she’s right, but also because no son of mine will ever get into serious trouble. I’ve worked my whole life to make sure we have the resources to guarantee that. “Perhaps I chose the wrong phrasing. I’m merely thinking he deserves some time off to have a little fun. Don’t you think?”

  “I think we all deserve a little fun now and again,” she says, her eyes holding mine a moment longer than necessary. I catch a flash of the woman I’ve come to know, the one who pushes the boundaries a bit further each time we are together. Now I’ve got her.

  “I wholeheartedly agree,” I tell her, warming under her scrutiny. “Have you found working for me to be fun?”

  “Oh, very,” she teases, and there’s a hint of sarcasm in her tone.

  “I hope that’s true. I want your experiences here to be nothing but pleasant.”

  “You’ve taken great care of me here, Orrick,” she says, slowly walking to the opposite side of the room. She paces when she’s nervous, while I get very still.

  We are moving at snail speed, three whole weeks of back and forth like this, but it seems to be what she needs. She’s like a frightened cat, and I worry moving too quickly would cause her
to bolt. I wonder what has caused her to be so skittish.

  “I intend to keep doing so for as long as you’ll let me.” I stand, moving to the side of the desk and resting against it. Not too close, not too far.

  She looks away restlessly, and whatever I’ve said has pulled her out of our game for a second. Like lightning, she’s back, though her expression is stiff. I lean away from the desk, standing up slowly. “Is everything all right?”

  “Do you plan to keep me around long term? I mean, once work slows down, won’t Iris step back again? When she hired me, she said it was just because she needed to be working more right now.”

  So, that’s what she’s worried about. That whatever she feels between us might not last. That I might hurt her.

  “Even if Iris cuts down on how much she’s working, John has grown to care for you in such a short time. I would never ask you to leave unless it was your choice. You’ll have a place here always…in my home.” I suck in a sharp breath. “In my life.”

  I worry I’ve said too much for a brief second, but when she looks at me, it’s obvious I’ve accomplished what I hoped to. She blushes, and I watch her cheeks tinge with pink. “I care about John, too. He’s special to me. You take care of those you love, Orrick. I really appreciate that.”

  Always. I always will. “Everyone I care about will always be taken care of if I have a say in it—and Olivia, a man like me, I always have a say.” I’m closer to her now, without even realizing I’ve moved.

  “Iris and John are very lucky, then.” Her dark lashes lower, and she glances to the floor with a fake modesty. We both know what I’m saying.

  I reach for her, my fingertips hot with electricity as they connect with her jawline. I lift her face to meet mine, desperate to see her eyes again. My dark eyes connect with her green ones, and already, I’m lost. Nothing else matters. “You, too. I care about you, too, Olivia.” It should be a lie, but at the moment, I’m not sure it is. It doesn’t feel like a line with Olivia anymore, and that scares me.