by Norah Wilson
“You’d be guessing right.”
“I wish…”
“It’s okay. I didn’t mean to bring it up. It just slipped out.”
“Don’t apologize, April. I just wish those things hadn’t happened to you. I wish I could take away every bad memory you have.”
“I know you do.”
He offered her his hand and she took it. If the vehicle had had a bench seat instead of bucket seats, she’d have scooted closer, but just the warmth and strength of his hand was a comfort.
Silence reigned again and she went back to watching the vegetation in the ditch fly by. Then, out of nowhere, Scott braked hard. Her seatbelt didn’t even have a chance to stretch and lock, because his arm was on her chest, holding her back as they decelerated.
Two deer bounded up out of the ditch in front of the vehicle. They stood for a few seconds, staring into the headlights. Then one of them hightailed it down the opposite ditch and into the woods. The second deer followed.
“That was awesome!” April said.
“It was pretty cool.” He took her hand again.
She relaxed back in her seat, determined to memorize everything about this evening. The intimacy of the vehicle, the feel of her hand in his, the world rolling by, illuminated briefly by their headlights, then disappearing into darkness again. It would make a lovely memory. One of many she would tuck away for when she left this place.
Chapter 22
SIDNEY AWOKE to the sound of canine whimpering.
She opened her eyes, rolled onto her side and looked over at Axl. In the moonlight streaming through the window, she could see his eyes were closed, but his feet were paddling in short jerky bursts.
Ah, he was dreaming. Chasing a rabbit, probably. Or a squirrel.
As always, she wondered whether to wake him or not. The whimpering sounded pretty pitiful. On the other hand, if he could actually run hard in his dreams, why not leave him to it?
Axl whimpered again, but after a few seconds, the jerky leg movement stopped.
“Hope you treed that squirrel, Axl.”
He went back to snoring gently.
Well, at least one of them was sleeping. The room was stuffy, she realized. That was probably why she’d woken up so easily at the dog’s whimper.
She tossed back the covers, climbed out of bed and crossed the room to open the door. Fresh air hit her. Ah, that was better. She stood there for a minute and listened. The television was still on downstairs. That had to be Arden. When Titus watched TV late at night, she could barely hear it. But Arden’s hearing obviously wasn’t as good, ’cause he needed to turn up the volume. Right now, an infomercial was playing. Considering Arden probably wasn’t looking to lose twenty pounds in only six weeks, and wouldn’t be calling now—or ever—for that special television offer, no matter how much they urged him to hurry, she figured he must have fallen asleep in front of the TV again.
Just to make sure, she crept halfway down the stairs and bent to look. Yup, those were Arden’s stockinged feet propped up on the arm of the old sofa. He was out like a light.
She went back upstairs. Leaving her door ajar, she crossed to the bed and climbed in, taking care not to jostle Axl. It was scary how much she loved that dog already. Titus was always saying he smelled, but he didn’t. Well, not in a bad way. He just smelled like old dog.
Sid closed her eyes, but she didn’t go right back to sleep. She’d been awake just long enough for the excitement to niggle back in again.
Halloween had been a blast—just as awesome as she’d hoped it would be. And she and Danika were becoming really good friends. The more they hung out, the more they realized they liked the same things. Like math! But even with all that, she was more excited about the business news. She’d gone to bed thinking of product names. She was going to be a big help, do more than a kid’s share of the work, and not just because she was paying her mother back for that whole credit card mess.
She did not regret saving that dog’s life. Not even for a second. Still, she had no right to take Dr. Boisvert’s credit card. That part she did regret.
She turned onto her side to look out the window. She loved the way she could just reach out, pull back the curtains. From this angle, she could see the looming darkness of the Far South Barn. It had been so beautiful earlier, all lit up with lanterns. With all those people laughing, playing games, and having fun, it had totally lived up to the parties Scott had described for her back in Montreal. The whole night had been awesome, even though she’d had to leave when they turned down the lights for the older kids.
She pushed herself up on one elbow for a better look at the yard.
Yes!
Smiling, she let the curtain fall back into place. All the vehicles were gone. Well, the ones that should be parked in the yard. Her mom’s car had been sitting in the machine shed for weeks now. Titus had set out to winterize it but discovered it needed some repairs and was waiting on parts. And Titus’s old truck—the one she’d stowed away in to get to Harkness—was right there beside it in the old shed. But Titus’s new truck and Arden’s Jeep were definitely gone. Since Arden was asleep on the couch, that meant Scott had to be out with her mom in the Jeep. She knew it.
Everything was going to be okay.
Even when she closed her heavy eyelids to get back to sleep, she knew the stars were still shining there outside her bedroom window.
And if stars could give a thumbs-up, they would have.
Chapter 23
SCOTT STOPPED the vehicle and killed the lights. “We’re here.”
He watched as April leaned forward to peer out the window. “All I see is…darkness. What is that ahead? Trees?”
“It’s Harkness Mountain.”
Her jaw dropped. “Are you freaking kidding me? We’re going to climb a mountain in the dark? All I remember suggesting was a walk!”
He laughed. “We won’t be climbing the mountain. I wouldn’t even try that in the dark, let alone subject you to it.”
“Then what are we doing here? Unless…” Now that his eyes had begun adjusting to the darkness, he saw her turn toward him. “Scott Standish, did you bring me here to park?”
He grinned. “Do you want to?”
“I don’t know.” From the tilt of her head, he knew she was surveying the gear shift and the console between the seats and wondering how it could possibly work. Then she surveyed her surroundings outside, making sure they were truly alone. “I’ve never parked with a…gentleman before.”
“Gentleman, huh?” He leaned across the console. Taking her face in his hand, he guided her chin up so he could kiss those perfect, full lips. When she leaned into the kiss, he dropped his hand to her chest, unzipping the bomber jacket to cup her breast beneath the soft material of her T-shirt and light bra. His fingers tightened on that luscious mound, and she shuddered, giving herself up to his touch with a sweet sigh. The sound sent a bolt of arousal straight to his groin. Before he could lose his head, he pulled back. He was not going to make love to her in Uncle Arden’s ratty old Jeep. “How was that for gentlemanly?”
“Maybe I should have said I’ve never parked with a scoundrel before.” She smoothed a hand over her hair. “Actually, I’ve never been parking with anyone—gentleman, scoundrel, or anything in between.”
“Much as I’d love to correct that deficiency, I think we’d better wait until I have Titus’s truck. It’s a lot roomier.”
If he turned the dome light on now, he was pretty sure he’d see her blushing.
“So what are we here for?”
“There’s a place I’d like to show you.” His eyes dropped to her open jacket in the moonlight. “Better zip up. It’s cold out there.”
By the time he rounded the vehicle, she’d already jumped out. While she zipped her leather jacket up as far as it would go and pulled her mittens back on, he pulled out a crushed cigarette pack, lit one, and took a long drag. Instantly, he felt the soothing effects of the nicotine roll over him.
“Why do you do that?” she asked. “I know you don’t smoke enough to have a real addiction going on.”
He shrugged. “I just enjoy it once in a while. But there’s no danger I’m going to take it up in earnest. Especially not with Ember around. She gives me hell if she catches so much as a whiff of stale cigarette smoke on me.”
“So the Standish women look after their men too.”
He took another haul off the cigarette. “I guess.”
She looked around. Now that they were outside the vehicle, there was a lot more to be seen in the moon’s pale light. “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.” He dropped his cigarette and ground it out beneath his boot. Then he picked up the butt, stuck it in the empty pack and shoved it into his pocket. “Follow me. And stay close.”
He struck out and she fell into step behind him. Instead of taking the trail that led to the mountain, he followed the one that carried them toward the river.
“Is that water I hear?”
“Yup. The Prince River. You doing okay?”
“I’m good,” she assured him. “Lead on.”
The path came to a T near the river’s edge. As always, the glint of the water beneath the moonlight made something stir in his chest. Glancing back to make sure she followed, he turned and headed in an upstream direction. Before long, the low-level tumbling, burbling splash of the fast-flowing water grew louder and louder until they rounded the bend and were hit by the full roar of the rapids.
“I know what this is! It’s Slamm’s Landing, isn’t it?” She pointed to a rocky ledge ahead. “That’s got to be it. A view of the white water, open to the sky…”
“Yeah. That’s the place. Come on.”
The path was wide enough now that he could take her hand. They covered the last stretch until they reached the ledge. He led her to his favorite perch, a natural “seat” created by the stacked sandstone.
“It’s beautiful. I can see why you love it here.” She looked up and clutched his hand harder. “Oh, the stars! I’m almost dizzy looking up at them, with the water moving at our feet.”
“You should see them when the moon’s not so bright. It’s unreal.”
“I’ll bet.”
“I used to come here all the time. You know, most people think you have to climb the mountain to get closer to the stars, but you don’t.”
“It’s not really about getting closer to them, though, is it?” she said. “Obviously, you just need the right vantage point.”
“Exactly. And out here, there’s nothing between you and just about every star in the sky.”
She nestled closer, and he put his arm around her. “I’m so glad you brought me here.” Even as she said it, she stifled a yawn. “Sorry. That wasn’t a commentary about the view or the company. Just a long day. Sidney was so excited about the party, she had us both up a good hour before dawn.”
Okay, so he wasn’t gonna get lucky tonight. Oddly, he didn’t mind. If that had been his sole goal, he could have swept her off her feet back at the barn. A few kisses and she’d have gladly climbed that ladder to the loft and his wide, welcoming bed. But he’d wanted to bring her out here, wanted to share this sacred place with her.
Sacred place? Jesus, he was starting to sound a lot like his embarrassingly romantic teenage self.
He cleared his throat. “So, how’s Sid doing? She seems in good spirits these days.”
April sighed.
“What?” He leaned back to look at her face in the moonlight, but she chose that moment to glance down at their linked hands. “Is something up with her?”
“She’s playing a game of make-believe.” She lifted her head to face him. “Pretending that this time in Harkness isn’t going to end.”
“Is that wise?” The words were out before he could consider them.
He felt her stiffen. “God, Scott. You think I haven’t asked myself that question?”
“I’m sorry. Of course you have.”
She sighed again. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped. It’s the obvious question to ask.” Some of the tension had left her limbs, but he could still hear the strain in her voice. “The thing is, she knows the difference between reality and pretend. No confusion there. And she’s crystal clear about the timeline. I couldn’t have been clearer that we’re leaving after Christmas. But she asked me—begged me—not to keep reminding her.”
He grimaced. “That’s a tough position to be put in. What did you say?”
“I agreed to go along with it.” She shrugged, a tight, jerky gesture that spoke eloquently to her ambivalence. “I don’t know if it was the right thing to do or not, but she needs this, Scott.” She looked up at him. “She knows she’s buying these happy todays with the pain to come tomorrow, but what’s the alternative? I just can’t be the one this time to eclipse her happiness. To be constantly reminding her of the shadow on the horizon. She knows it’s there. She just wants to make the best of every day until that day comes when we have to start packing.”
His heart broke for her. For Sid too, but mostly for April. How hard it must be to carry that responsibility, to try to make the right decisions for your child. Her beautiful shoulders were so slim, so frail, compared to the burden she was forced to carry. But carry it she did.
Was it a good idea, letting Sid pretend it was never going to end? Hell if he knew. Although he did know a little something about living day-to-day, knowing the ax was soon to fall. Those months before his mother died…
“So, did I mess up? Did I make the wrong decision?”
“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “But I totally understand why you made it. She’s been so happy, and you two are getting along so well. She’s taken responsibility for the credit card caper and is working the debt off. Those are good things. Maybe giving her the space and happiness will be…restorative. Or will help her grow more resilient.”
“Oh, God, that’s what I hope. It’s what I pray every day.”
“Whatever happens, Sid will be okay because she’s got you. You’re a terrific mother, April.”
“Thank you.” She hugged him and he hugged her back. Then she pulled away, brushing her hair back under her cute red hat. “Whether it was wrong or right, at least it wasn’t hypocritical. It’s kind of what I’m doing too, isn’t it?”
He held perfectly still. “Pretending?”
“Letting myself enjoy this. Enjoy you.” She laid a hand on his chest. “I won’t lie. It’s going to be a wrench when I leave. But I’m not about to let that steal the joy from today. I don’t—and won’t—regret a minute of it.”
At her words, he felt a burst of fierce and warring emotions. Gladness. Desire. Sadness. Regret.
“Come here.” He lifted her onto his lap and kissed her. Her arms slid around his neck and she kissed him back while the river roared beside them and the stars gazed silently down. When they were both breathing as hard as though they’d climbed Harkness Mountain, he tucked her head under his chin and pulled her close.
Slowly, his heartbeat returned to normal.
She nestled closer. “That was nice.”
To his great pleasure, she sounded as soft and relaxed as her body felt. “Nice?” he huffed in pretend offense. “That’s pretty faint praise.”
She pulled back and he saw the gleam of her smile. “I can say without equivocation that that was the best riverside make-out session I’ve ever had. Is that better?”
“Um, since you’ve never even parked with a guy before, I’m guessing this is the only riverside make-out session you’ve had.”
She giggled. “True.”
“Want to hear something funny?”
“What?”
“It was my only river-side session too.”
“Really?”
“Really,” he said. “And it was fantastic.”
She grinned again. “Yes, it was.”
He pulled her back against his chest. They sat there in silence for a while. The cold of the roc
k beneath his butt was seeping into his bones, but he was loath to move. She felt so good in his arms.
“Hey,” she said. “I was talking to Danika’s mom at the party. She asked if Sidney could sleep over at their place next Friday night.”
His pulse leaped. If Sid was away all night, April could spend the night in the Far South Barn with him. Well, until dawn, anyway. “What’d you tell her?”
“I said yes.”
“Good.” He kissed her on top of the head. “Because you’ve got yourself a date.”
“I do?” She leaned her head back. “With a gentleman or a scoundrel?”
“I guess you’ll have to wait and see. But I’m not waiting until next Friday to do this.” He kissed her upturned mouth and felt her shiver. “Come on.” He put a hand on the small of her back. “We should head back before Arden’s Jeep turns into a pumpkin.”
Half an hour later, they kissed goodnight on the front porch. He opened the door for her and when she’d slipped in, closed it quietly behind her.
Scott had never needed much sleep, but he’d be glad for his head to hit the pillow tonight. After a quick smoke. Two in one evening. He really should throw the damned things away. Maybe he would...
He crossed to the front porch steps, careful not to let his boots clomp on the floorboards, and parked his ass on the top step. He lit up, took a drag, then looked out over the farm. Even with the moonlight, it was too dark to make out much, but he could picture the apple trees, heavy with fruit. David Hillman was going to be earning every penny of his paycheck.
He wasn’t the only one who’d be busy. Now that the Halloween party was out of the way, April would be working like crazy to get stuff ready for her foray into business. He had no doubt she’d turn a tidy profit, but the timeline was so damned tight. Too tight to really launch a business properly. If she had a few more months, she could really establish herself and her brand.
Supposedly, she had a job lined up for after Christmas, in Northern Ontario. He wasn’t entirely sure that was true. She might have fabricated it to limit her commitment to what she’d clearly seen as a charitable offer. She was far too proud to accept charity. Or maybe she’d invented it to coincide with his departure the first of January?