No Tears with Him

by K. Webster

  “Hardly. I’ll have hot chocolate, thank you very much.”

  We push inside the quaint shop and head for the counter. No one notices our hand holding or even cares. It’s nice to not get the stink eye or be called a faggot for being happy. I wish Boulder would get with the fucking times already.

  The shop has a caramel hot chocolate that has Malcolm practically bouncing on his toes with excitement for. It’s cute as hell. I settle for my usual and also grab us a couple of glazed donuts since I know they’re Mal’s favorites. Once we have our stash, we sit on a small loveseat near the big, open window that has a breathtaking view of the Golden Gate Bridge.

  “Hey, Scott,” Mal says softly after he devours his donut and snuggles close to me.

  I wrap my arm around him. “Yeah, babe?”

  “I wish I could freeze this weekend and stay like this forever.”

  His words are so honest and sweet. It makes my heart lurch in my chest. “Me too, kid, me too.”

  He tilts his head up and offers me his plump lips. In front of everyone, I boldly kiss my boyfriend. And it feels fucking amazing.

  “What do you want to do next?” I ask, rubbing my palm up and down his shoulder to warm him up.

  “Can we go back to the hotel and stay just like this?”

  “As long as we’re naked when we do it.”

  He chuckles. “That was a given.”

  Eventually, we leave the warmth of the coffee shop and check out a few stores along the way back to the hotel. When my mom calls, Malcolm pops into a shop with Beanie Babies in the window and leaves me.

  “Hey, Momma.”

  “How’s my boy?”

  “Working,” I lie. “San Francisco until tomorrow.”

  “Sounds like a little pleasure too,” she says, a smile in her voice.

  If only she knew.

  “That too,” I admit. “What’s up? Everything okay with Britney?”

  “Britney’s a doll. Lennon just picked her up to take her to see a movie.” She pauses to talk to her dog, Nanner. “That’s a good Nanner-boo-boo. Hims want a treat?”

  Nanner, her Pomeranian, yaps with excitement.

  “Sorry about that,” she says. “Your brother was hungry.”

  “That dog is not my brother,” I playfully grumble.

  “Try telling him that. You know he adores you.”

  “Yeah, yeah.”

  “Listen…the reason I called was I’d like you to come to dinner in a couple of weeks. For Tom’s birthday. Lennon has put in for a day off that day, too, so he’ll be there.”

  I frown. “Tom? Your neighbor Tom?”

  “Don’t play dumb, honey. I raised you better. Of course Tom. I told you time and time again I’ve been seeing him.”

  I know she’s mentioned it a few times, but I didn’t take her seriously. Tom’s her nerdy next door neighbor. A little on the tubby side. A lot on the annoying side when he gets on a roll about different types of grass.

  “Are you just being neighborly or…”

  “He’s moving in,” she tells me bluntly. “No sense in getting huffy over it either. I love Tom and I’m tired of being alone. Sure, it’s wonderful having Britney here, but I want Tom here too. I’m getting too old to be lonely.”

  “Oh, wow, I wasn’t expecting that.”

  “I wasn’t either, truth be told. But one day he showed up with a bouquet of roses and he’s been wooing me ever since. Quite persistent that one. Just say you’ll be there.”

  “I will if I can bring someone.”

  “Nanner, shoo. Bubba has love news.”

  My dog brother yaps happily while I groan.

  “I just…I’m…” I can’t help my goofy grin. “I have a boyfriend, Momma. Malcolm is his name. I really like him.”

  She gasps. And not because he’s a man. I already gave my mother that shock when I was in high school. Where she was sort of bitchy about it in the beginning, she’s grown to accept this part of me—the part that likes both men and women. “My boy has a boyfriend. Well, he must be special because the last time you brought someone home was for your senior prom. And that was only because I demanded to take pictures. This is wonderful news, honey.”

  It is.

  It’s fucking fantastic.

  Malcolm steps out of the shop, once again wincing from the cold. Raindrops start to pelt down on me.

  “It’s raining. I gotta go, Momma. I’ll see you soon.”

  We hang up and I all but drag Malcolm back to the hotel. By the time we push into the building, we’re soaked. His teeth chatter the entire ride up the elevator. As soon as we’re in our hotel room, he deposits his pile of bags on the coffee table while I run us a bath. I’ve just stripped out of my soaked clothes when he boldly walks into the bathroom already naked.

  Fuck.

  Though shorter than me, Malcolm still has a nice body. He’s leaner than I am, but has a naturally defined V in his lower abdomen that trains the eye to stare at his beautiful cock. His huge cock. If he didn’t look at mine like he wanted to devour it every time he saw it, I’d feel bad about my normal dick in comparison to his. But, since he seems to want to lick it like a fucking lollipop, I shrug it off.

  I step into the steaming water and inch myself in. He follows suit, settling between my spread thighs and leaning his back against my chest. My arms envelop him in a hug and I inhale his familiar scent, pressing kisses along the side of his neck.

  “This has been the best weekend of my life, Scott.” He turns his head slightly to peck my lips. “The very best.”

  I run my fingers along his hard abdomen and smile against his lips. “Mine too. Lucky for us, we have plenty more in store for us.”

  Malcolm

  I’ve been officially working for Scott for a month. I have been completely obsessed with the man since that first day we met. Which is why, after a whole month, I feel the need to commemorate the occasion.

  Oh God.

  Am I lame?

  Is this just a cheesy thing they do on television or do real people do this?

  Fuck.

  I rub at the tension on the back of my neck when Sorro pops her head into my office. I’m learning she has many wigs. At work, she typically wears her brown or blond one, but lately, she’s been into wearing a white wig with the ends cut jaggedly and chunky pink highlights all throughout. Scott never says a word about it, though it’s probably unprofessional at the office.

  “Why the long face, Mal Bear?” she asks, strutting into my office, a wicked grin curling her lips up. “You can tell me. We’re practically besties now.”

  Her comment is meant to tease and I can’t help but feel stung. We’ve been going shopping some on our lunch breaks and she even calls me sometimes when she’s having a crisis. She’s always having a crisis. Though, her crises are usually wardrobe related, chipped nail polish, something to do with her soap operas she watches, or her roommate Eli. I thought we already were besties.

  “It’s embarrassing.”

  “Ooooh, even better. Spill, baby. I need to know what has your briefs in a wad.”

  I don’t tell her I’m wearing boxers today. “It’s Scott.”

  Her brows furrow together as worry replaces her playfulness. “Where is he? Is he okay?”

  At one time, I was jealous of her, but then I realized that was silly considering Scott only has eyes for one person. Me. Scott deeply cares about Sorro, though, which means I care about her too.

  “He’s fine. Closed-door meeting with Wade. It’s nothing bad, it’s just…” I trail off, working up my nerve. “I’ve been working here for a month.”

  Her eyes widen, her fake lashes nearly reaching her forehead. “Aww, you want to celebrate one month being in love with the boss man!”

  “Shh,” I grumble, eyeing the door. “I’m not in love.”

  Lies.

  She laughs. “Okay.”

  She doesn’t believe me.

  “Ughhh,” I complain. “Why do I feel like such a loser ri
ght now? All I want to do is give him this little gift I picked up for him. Tell him thank you, you know?”

  “Tell him thank you for what, honey? Sucking your dick or giving you a job?”

  I roll my eyes. “For being Scott.”

  “That’s ridiculously sweet,” she says with a giggle.

  I pull out the yo-yo I found in San Francisco. “Will he like this?”

  “It’s Scott and it’s from you, so of course. But this is more of a ‘you’re a great boss’ gift. I think a blowie is a more practical gift to celebrate a month with your boyfriend.”

  “Be serious,” I whine. “I’m freaking out right now.”

  Her wickedness dials back a few degrees as she reaches across the table to hold my hand. Those claws of hers are frightening sometimes, but she seems to know how to handle herself with them.

  “Listen,” she says firmly. “Scott would love a bag filled with tissue paper if it came from you. I’ve known him awhile and he’s never been so…happy.” She smiles, squeezing my hand. “He’ll love this corny yo-yo because not only did you buy it for him, but you worried yourself sick over it, honey. It shows how much you care.”

  “So it’s not weird?”

  “Well, of course it is, honey.” She cackles when I frown at her. “I mean, you put up with that nut in there, so it’s totally weird. But it’s also super adorable.”

  A rapping on the door has my heart ratcheting in my chest. I yank my hand from Sorro’s grip and move quickly to hide the yo-yo from Scott.

  But it’s not Scott.

  “Madden?” I choke out. “What are you doing here?”

  His eyes are darting between Sorro and me, drawing very quick and inaccurate conclusions. “I was in the neighborhood visiting a friend. Thought I’d drop by and check out my baby brother’s new digs. Didn’t realize I was interrupting.”

  “N-No,” I stammer. “Madden, this is my friend Sorro. Sorro, this is my brother, Madden. He played for the NFL.” I wince because he does too. It’s as though he’s ashamed of his NFL stint, but it’s the only thing I can think of to say in the moment.

  At the mention of football, Sorro trembles slightly. Apparently, a touchy subject all around. She regains her composure and stands, offering him her clawed hand.

  “Sorro Washington. I’m the boss around here.”

  Madden’s eyes keep darting to her cleavage that all but spills out of her top. “Boss? I thought Scott was—”

  “Semantics. I’m the one who runs this ship.” She smiles, nearly jerking her hand from his grip. “I’ll be at my desk if you need me, honey,” she says to me.

  As soon as she’s gone, Madden jerks his head my way. For some reason, Sorro seemed on edge around my brother. Sure, he’s a big guy, but he’d never hurt anyone. But, Sorro’s used to guys bigger than her throwing goddamn chairs at her, so I could see her hesitation around him.

  “Friend?” Madden snorts. “So this is the almost virginity loss?”

  My skin heats up at his words. “W-What? No!”

  “Don’t lie, little bro. And don’t be ashamed. That chick is finnnne.”

  Would my brother be such an adoring fan if he knew she came with a man’s anatomy? I seriously doubt it. I’m afraid to tell my brother I’m gay. I can only imagine how he’d react to a transgender. It’s one of those things I’d rather never find out about.

  “What do you want?” I demand, cutting to the chase.

  “Just visiting.” He shrugs, taking in my space. “This is a really nice office. You did well for yourself.”

  “I love it here,” I admit with a smile.

  “Looking like a grown-ass man, too,” he says with pride. “Look at you.”

  I preen a little at his praise. With Madden, it doesn’t come often.

  “Couldn’t let you have the spotlight forever,” I tease.

  His smile is forced, but I sense that my words were a punch to the gut for him. Guilt floods through me. I’m being a dick and in actuality, I’m thrilled he came to see me.

  “Don’t worry. As soon as you start coaching, I’ll be chopped liver again. It was a sweet ride while it lasted.” I grin at him. “Want to see what I’m working on?”

  “Hell yeah.”

  “Fuck,” Scott hisses as he stalks into my office. “I am so sorry, Mal.”

  I yawn, peeling my eyes away from my computer. It’s dark outside, maybe six or seven, which means he’s been in that meeting all damn day.

  “No big deal,” I tell him. “I was deep in a design.”

  I’d felt inspired after hanging out with Madden earlier today.

  “But I’m your ride. You’re probably starving. Time got away from me.” He scowls. “I’m sorry.”

  I stand and walk over to him, stretching as I go. “It’s fine. Is everything okay?”

  He pulls me to him for a hug and I get the strong sense that everything is not okay. I squeeze him tight, inhaling his fading Davidoff Cool Water cologne. My lips find the side of his neck and I kiss the pulsing vein there.

  “Want to talk about it?”

  He lets out a heavy sigh. “Yes? No? Maybe? I don’t know that there’s anything to talk about yet. Just some stuff I need to think about.”

  I pull slightly away. “With us?”

  “Fuck no,” he assures me. “With my company.”

  “We’ll talk when you’re ready. We can go grab dinner. I’m sure you’re starved too.”

  His eyes, which were weary, now light up with excitement. “Want to eat in the car? I have an idea I think you’ll love. Plus, it’ll assuage some of my guilt.”

  “You have nothing to be guilty for.”

  After driving through Taco Bell, Scott perks up, the day’s stress seemingly left behind. I tell him about Madden’s surprise visit, which leaves him stunned. Then, I babble about the design I’m working on. Today marks a month being at his company—with him—and I was eager to celebrate, but considering he’s clearly had a day from hell, it can wait until tomorrow.

  When we pull into a car dealership, I look over at him and frown. “You’re trading in the Toyota?”

  He chuckles as we pull into a parking spot. “Never. I’ll drive this car until the wheels fall off.” He reaches over and squeezes my hand. “I thought we could go check out cars for you.”

  “For me?” My heart thunders in my chest. “Do you not like carpooling?”

  “What? No,” he assures me, bringing my hand to his lips and kissing the back of it. “I’ve just been thinking about how you always have to rely on other people and it’s not fair to you. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t have your own car. Is it not something you want?”

  I’ve always wanted my own car, but Mom could barely afford to have one car payment, much less two. Madden bought his own car with the money he made signing with the Bengals. I just never thought it was in the cards for me.

  “I suppose it would be convenient sometimes,” I say slowly. “And I can certainly afford it now.” I feel giddy, a silly smile breaching my face. “I mean, it won’t hurt to look, right?”

  “That’s the spirit,” Scott says with a huge grin. “Let’s go.”

  As soon as we walk onto the Honda lot, a car salesman pounces on us. He’s a little on the pushy side, but thankfully Scott knows what he’s doing and answers all the questions the man has. The guy won’t leave us alone, but I don’t care. I’m excited to admire all the expensive vehicles. Just when I think I’m ready to leave for the night, I see it.

  Red.

  Sporty.

  Gorgeous.

  “Oh my God,” I breathe, stunned by the car that seems to beckon for me.

  Scott chuckles. “Did we find the one?”

  “Just look at her,” I say, grabbing his bicep and pointing. “Sitting there looking pretty as can be.”

  “That’s a ’99 Honda Accord LX. Manual transmission. She has about eighteen miles on her from a few test drives, but she’s otherwise new.” The salesman’s eyes go wide and glint wit
h excitement. “Let me grab the keys and we’ll take her for a test drive.”

  “Can you drive a stick?” Scott asks.

  “Mom’s car is manual. I’ve driven it a few times.” I walk over to the red beauty and admire the chrome wheels and tinted windows. It’s a two-door and flawless. “I want this car.”

  The salesman walks back over to us and tosses me the keys. They hit my chest and fall to the ground. I’d feel stupid except Scott picks them up, presses them into my palm, and gives me a searing look that nearly melts my boxers right off me.

  God, he’s so ridiculously hot.

  We all climb into the car and I sit with the heat blowing as the man explains all the bells and whistles—and it has all the bells and whistles. By the time I’m ready to test it out, she already feels like mine. I’ve already named her Divina in my head.

  Of course she purrs like a kitten and drives like a dream. I don’t even pass out when the salesman tells me what my monthly payment will run. This car is what I want. I’ve never been so sure about anything other than Scott.

  Our eyes meet in the rearview mirror. His green orbs glitter with pride and satisfaction. I could kiss him right now. And if I weren’t driving, I would, consequences be damned. I’m done hiding from the world that I have a man who cares deeply for me and makes it his daily objective to make me happy. While I may not be ready to come out to my family just yet, I’m not going to hide us anymore in public. We can deal with the haters together.

  “What do you think, babe?” I ask, glancing at him in the mirror again.

  His eyes widen slightly and then he beams at me. Worth the hate. I’ll take my chances against the world as long as I have sweet, strong Scott at my side. Or in this case, behind me.

  “I love it,” Scott says. “But mostly I love how much you love it. I think you should get it, babe.” He smirks in the mirror.

  The salesman is too eager to make a sale to care that we’re a gay couple. He rattles on about more of the finer details, nonplussed.

  One hour later and I own Divina.

  We’re parked beside Scott’s Land Cruiser but sitting in my warm Honda. He leans over the console in the passenger seat to kiss me. I kiss him hard back. Thanking him for being an awesome boyfriend. Turns out, when you don’t own anything and have zero credit, you can’t just buy your dream car. Scott must have known this because he happily co-signed on the note for me.