by Nancy Adams
The two of them sat there in silence for a few minutes, as if each of them was trying to think of what to say next. Kylie finally broke it.
“Katie, I'm really not trying to tell you what to do,” she said. “It's just in these last few weeks, I've seen you hurt so many times and so badly that I don't want to see you get hurt again. There's something about Darren that's just not right, or none of this would've happened at all. I don't mean the accident; that may have been just bad luck, but everything after that—the way he treated you, dumping you like that—a man who really loved you would never have let that happen at all. Can't you understand that?”
Katie Lou chewed on her lip before she answered. “I understand what you're saying,” she said. “The thing is, people make mistakes. If there's one thing you learn when you study psychology, it's that there are so many different types of motivating factors in every decision we make that it's essentially impossible to predict what people will do. It's quite possible that, somewhere in the back of his mind, Darren may have thought he was doing right by me when he called off the engagement. Let's face it, if we had gone on and gotten married, and I had ended up stuck in a wheelchair from now on, it would have taken an awful lot of his time just to deal with me and my needs. His backers were worried that he would get a sympathy vote that would hurt him in later elections, but I can't help wondering if dealing with my problems might have completely derailed his career, anyway. How do you think I would've felt about that? I think there was a part of me that was relieved when he called it off, because I would never have to feel guilty about my handicaps keeping him from success in what he wanted to do.”
“Well, that's a beautiful speech,” Kylie said, “and I can see how easy it is to make excuses for the things we do. Maybe you would have felt guilty about it, or maybe you would have just been thrilled that your husband loved you that much. He didn't give you that chance, though, did he?” She stood up from the table and started out of the room. “I've got to get dressed,” she said. “I've decided not to go back to college this fall, so it's time for me to go find a job.”
“On Saturday?” Katie Lou asked.
“Walmart is hiring,” she said, “and several other places. If nothing else, I can pick up applications. I'll see you later this afternoon.”
Katie watched her swish her way down the hall, then sat there with her coffee and thought about the whole conversation. She could understand why Kylie was being so protective, because if the shoe was on the other foot, she would be just as bad. The problem with that is that you have to remember whose life it is, and whose choice.
Of course, Kylie had hit one of the many nails right on the head. Katie Lou really did care for Rob Christopher, and didn't want to see his heart broken, but she felt it necessary to be honest with herself in this situation, regardless of the consequences. If she came to the conclusion that she and Darren truly did have a chance, and that she wanted that chance for herself, she knew she would have to steel herself to the guilt and recriminations she would feel over hurting Rob.
She put her head in her hands, and sat at the table just trying to sort out what she really felt. Unfortunately, she was so confused that there was no way to reach any conclusion. On the one hand, she had a history with Darren that was filled with wonderful memories; on the other, she had been so taken by young Doctor Christopher that she almost felt as though she were in a Disney movie, with him as a handsome prince and herself as the lucky girl who caught his attention.
Darren was willing to throw away everything he had planned on in his career, if it meant another chance with her. That had to mean something, didn't it? Didn't that speak to how much he truly loved her?
Rob, alternatively, had essentially offered to share his career with her, suggesting that they team up. By combining her counseling practice with his physical therapy practice, he seemed to believe that they would both benefit. Wasn't that just as big a commitment, even if somewhat different?
Oh, it was so confusing. She got up and went back to her room, trying to think of something to do for the rest of the day.
Over in Maxwell, Anna Christopher was trying to get her brother out of his own doldrums.
“Let's go out to breakfast,” she said. “It's a beautiful day, let's go do something.”
Rob was sitting at their kitchen table in his pajama bottoms and a T-shirt. “I don't really feel like it,” he said, “at least, not right at the moment. Maybe later.”
“Oooh! Come on, Rob, snap out of this. Katie Lou will come back to you, you know she will. Don't let it get you down like this.”
“It's not just about Katie Lou, Red,” Rob said. “It's everything over the last week, with Linda dying, and all this mess with Julie—I'm just not sure how much more I can take, that's all. I'm starting to feel like I'm overwhelmed, like I don't even have control over my own life.”
His sister sat there and looked at him for a moment, then smiled. “You know something I learned from taking care of Linda? I learned that none of us have control over our own lives, because in a split second, something can happen that you can't avoid, and you can't predict, that turns your entire world upside down. I don't remember a lot about Linda when she was Mom, but I remember enough to know that she was good at it and was always ready to do whatever it took to take care of us. I can't help but think that she would've done anything to come back to us if she possibly could, but that was taken away.” She reached out and put a hand on her brother's shoulder. “Rob, yesterday is over and done with. Tomorrow hasn't happened yet, so all we've got is today. Don't beat yourself to death thinking about what might happen; just take one day at a time, and deal with the things that do happen.”
Rob grinned at her. “That's some pretty profound stuff, coming out of you. You been hanging out with Katie Lou, lately? That's more down her alley than yours.”
The look Anna gave him almost passed for genuine anger, but the twinkle in her eye proved that it wasn't quite real. “What? You think I don't have a brain inside this head? Just because the hair is red doesn't mean the brain is dead, okay, got that?” She playfully smacked him on his arm, then got up to pour herself another cup of coffee. “You want another cup?”
Rob picked up the cup in front of him and finished the last of his coffee, then shook his head. “No, thanks,” he said. “I think I'm just going to take the day off and relax. I'm hoping Katie Lou will call, later, but I don't want to put any pressure on her. Maybe it's a good day to catch up on some old movies.”
Anna sat down at the table again. “Okay, now you're starting to make some sense. That sounds like a great way to spend a lazy Saturday.”
3
James Allsip was waiting when his son walked into his study. He wasn't happy about the confrontation that was about to take place, but felt it was a necessity. The boy was throwing away one of the greatest opportunities that would ever come his direction, and James couldn't sit by and let it happen without trying to reason with him.
“Darren,” he said, nodding.
Darren nodded back. “Hello, Dad. Mom said you wanted to talk to me?”
James inclined his head, and pointed at the chair beside him. “Have a seat, Son.”
Darren groaned inwardly, knowing what this had to be about. He took the chair his father had indicated and tried to appear relaxed. He waited for his father to speak first.
“Darren,” James began, “I spent part of yesterday on the phone with Matthews, trying to get a handle on what happened up there. He seems to think that your resignation isn't necessarily final, and he wants me to encourage you to come back. He says you haven't burnt any bridges, and he doesn't want to see that happen.” He sat there and looked at his son for a moment. “Darren, what is going on?”
Darren shrugged. “Dad, it's just like I told you the other day. I made a mistake, walking away from Katie Lou. I had to come home and try to fix that mistake.”
“So, that's what you were doing in Ozark last night? Trying to fix it?” H
e looked directly into Darren's eyes.
Darren's eyebrows lowered. “Okay, we're going to skip right past the part where you know I was in Ozark even though I didn't tell you. What I want to know is why you think it's something you need to be worried about. Dad, I've tried to accept the decision to walk away from Katie Lou, I tried very hard to convince myself that it was the right thing to do, but no matter how many ways I look at it, it was nothing but a cowardly decision. I put my feelings for her and all the promises I made to her aside, in order to try to cling to some political ambitions that I never really even wanted in the first place.”
“What do you mean, you never wanted them? Darren, politics is all you talked about since you were a sophomore in high school. I remember the essays you wrote about your plans to become a congressman; have you forgotten about those?”
“I haven't forgotten anything, Dad,” Darren said, “unlike you, who seem to have forgotten that all of the political dreams were yours. I never wanted to go to Congress, I just wanted to please you. All I ever heard out of you was how much I could accomplish if I set my sights on a political career, so I tried to do what you wanted, I really did. But, Dad, I can't throw away my own feelings to try to make you happy, and it's…”
“You just stop right there,” James said. “You're not going to try to blame this on me. Yes, I encouraged you to seek a political career, because I believe you are intelligent enough and honest enough and good enough to make a difference in this country, but you are the one who started talking with Matthews about it. You can't tell me that was just to please me, not when you were pitching them for a spot with their law firm at the time.”
Darren shook his head. “Was I excited about it? Sure, who wouldn't be? I had all these big-shot lawyers and politicians telling me what a great future I had ahead of me, so, yeah, I got excited. I'm not trying to claim that I never felt the pull of fame and power—of course I did. What I am trying to tell you is that what started it all was that desire to please you.” He looked at his hands for a moment, then looked back up into his father's eyes. “I'll tell you a secret, something you never knew. Take a wild guess on what it was I really wanted to do with my life, can you do that? No, never mind, I'll just tell you. I didn't want to be a lawyer, I didn't want to be a politician, what I wanted was to be an actor. Don't you remember, all those years in high school, I was always in the drama club? Even came to every play I was in, and sat up there and bragged about how your son was such a great actor, do you remember that?”
James was silent for several seconds, but then he nodded. “I remember,” he said. “You really were a great actor. You could make people believe in you, just by spewing words out of your mouth, and that's exactly what makes a great lawyer and a great politician. It takes that same ability to project yourself into the words that you say. You say you really wanted to be an actor? I thought being an actor was what would make you one of the greatest attorneys this country has ever known.”
Darren shrugged. “Well, it just goes to show you how wrong we can be about each other, right? Now, let's get back to how you knew I was in Ozark. Have you got people watching me?”
It was James's turn to shrug. “You quit a gold-plated job with a prestigious law firm just days after you started, packed up and came back home and asked me to put you back to work in my office. You don't think that sounded a little crazy? Of course I had people watching, I was afraid you were going to self-destruct. And don't think I didn't know that it was about that girl; that was pretty obvious.”
“Her name is Katie Lou, Dad,” Darren said. “Let's not refer to her as 'that girl,' okay?”
“I darn well will,” James shot back. “That girl cost me three hundred and fifty thousand dollars, remember? I'm the one who had to foot the bill for that settlement, or have you forgotten that?”
“No, I haven't forgotten, but you're wrong. She didn't cost you a dime. If you want to put some blame on that, then you need to point the fingers at yourself and Matthews, because if I had just stuck by her like a man should do, there wouldn't have been a settlement to pay out. It was you and Matthews who convinced me that the accident made her unsuitable as my wife, remember? I walked away from the woman I loved, over political ambitions; do you think I'm ever going to forgive myself, or you, for that?” Darren made a visible effort to get himself under control. “Look, I didn't come in here to fight with you. Mom said you wanted to talk, so I came to talk, but if you think you're going to convince me to go back to St. Louis, then you're going to be disappointed. I'm sure your spies told you that Katie Lou and I had a very nice dinner together last night, right? Well, we haven't made any commitments, but we're definitely exploring the possibility of picking up where we left off. And so help me, if you do anything to derail that, I will walk away from you forever.”
James put a derisive smile on his face. “Don't make threats, Darren,” he said. “They don't become you.”
Darren got to his feet and leaned across the desk to look his father in the eye. “I'm not making any threats, Dad,” he said. “I'm just predicting the future.” He turned and walked out of the study, leaving his father to sit there staring after him.
After a moment, James reached over and picked up the telephone on his desk. He dialed a number from memory, and smiled when it was answered.
“Andrews agency,” he heard through the line.
“I might speak with Walter Andrews, please,” he said. “This is James Allsip.”
“Just one moment, sir,” the receptionist said. James was a regular customer of the Andrews Investigation Agency, and his calls were always put through as soon as possible.
“James,” came the voice of Walter Andrews. “What can I do for you today?”
“You can grab your shovel,” James said. “I need you to dig up some dirt, and the more, the better. That son of mine has got his head on sideways, and I guess it's going to be up to me to get it turned around to face forward again.”
Walter laughed. “Let me guess, he's mooning around that girl again?”
“You got it. I think it's time we give him a dose of reality,” James said. “I've heard rumors about her and her doctor, let's see what you can dig up on that. If you can get something that shows him she can't be trusted, I think he'll wake up and smell the roses.”
“Leave it to us,” Walter said. “I'll put a couple of my best people on it, right now. If there's anything to get, I'll find it, and if there isn't, then maybe we'll make it up.”
“Which is why I'm always willing to pay your bill,” James said with a laugh. “Just make it convincing, would you?”
“Don't I always? I'll be in touch.”
James hung up the phone and sat back in his chair. He was fully confident that Walter's people would give him the ammunition he needed to shoot down this crazy idea Darren had of getting back with Katie Lou. James had never liked the girl, which probably went back to the fact that he had always detested her father, even when they were kids in school. Allen was always the goody two shoes, the guy who helped everybody else out and never asked anything in return. As a result, he always got the girl James liked, got the class assignments that James wanted—yeah, that was probably why he disliked the girl so much.
When the accident had happened, and she’d been in a coma, James had thought the problem was solved. At first, no one thought she was ever going to wake up, but then she did. Matthews had sat Darren down and explained the facts of life to him, and it looked like the boy was going to be sensible. He took the job in St. Louis, told the girl goodbye, and it appeared he was on his way to great things.
Apparently he cared more for the girl than James had thought, if he was willing to throw away his entire career for her. The boy needed to learn that life didn't always give you what you wanted; sometimes you had to make sacrifices, in order to accomplish the great things that were in you.
4
On Saturdays, Judy Brennan's beauty shop was usually only open until noon, although it wasn't u
nheard of for one of the beauticians who worked for her to make a special appointment after those hours. Even Judy herself would occasionally do so, but she tried to avoid it. Saturday afternoons were the times she most liked to spend with her family, and with both of the girls now grown, she wanted to take as many of those days as she could get.
Kylie's car was gone when she pulled into the driveway, but Katie's was parked on the side of the yard. Judy hurried inside, trotting up the ramp that they had built when Katie Lou was still in her wheelchair. That was only a few weeks ago, but it seemed as if the ramp had been there forever.
Maybe Judy was getting old, she thought to herself. It seemed like the ramp made it a little easier to walk up to the deck than the stairs had done. Whatever the case, that was as good a reason to keep it as any.
She stepped through the sliding glass door into the kitchen, and was greeted by Katie Lou, sitting there at the table in the clothes she had obviously slept in. She was leaning an elbow on the table with her chin propped up on one hand, and an empty coffee cup sitting in front of her.
“Katie Lou? Everything okay?” Judy asked.
Katie Lou slowly turned her head so that her eyes were facing her mother's. “Everything is most decidedly not okay,” she said. “Mom, I am so torn, I don't know which end is up. I've been sitting here all morning, just waiting for you to show up so you can tell me what to do.”
Judy's eyebrows tried to crawl over the top of her forehead. “Me? Wait a minute, you're the one with the counseling degree, not me.”
“Yeah, but you're a hairdresser. Remember a week or so back, you told me that hairdressers and bartenders get a special dose of wisdom, because people are always asking them for advice. Well, I need some of that wisdom.”