Secrets of Submission

by LK Shaw

  Taking the yellow manila envelope from her, I stared at my name block printed on the front. “Thank you, Elaine.” I turned it over looking for anything to identify the sender. Other than my name, the envelope was blank. Grabbing my letter opener off my desk, I sliced it open carefully. Dread hit as I pulled out a stack of pictures. I froze when I noticed the object of the first picture, and then anger began to burn in my gut. One by one, I looked at each picture, my fury rising with each. Every single picture depicted Penny. They showed her entering and leaving her yoga studio, sitting at the coffee shop she frequented, and getting into her car in the hospital parking lot. The one that pissed me off and scared me the most was the picture of her entering her house with me behind her. It appeared to have been taken the other night when we’d returned from playing at Eden, the night I’d first fucked her.

  “Fuck,” I threw the pictures across my desk, knocking the envelope on the floor. Bending down to pick it up, I noticed a note had partially fallen out. I picked them both up and read the note.

  She’s not your usual taste. Not nearly as beautiful as G.

  You can’t keep hiding her forever. I WILL find her.

  Until I do, maybe you should keep a closer

  eye on your new toy. I’d hate for something to happen.

  “Elaine,” I yelled at my assistant, who immediately rushed in.

  “Is everything okay, Mr. Allen?”

  “Who delivered this envelope?”

  “A courier, sir.”

  “Which one?” I snapped at her.

  She startled at the tone I’d never before used with her. “I apologize, sir, I didn’t get the name of service.”

  Trying not to snap at her in anger again, I ran my fingers through my hair. “I apologize, Elaine.” I sighed in frustration. “Thank you, anyway.” With a wave of my hand, I dismissed her. “Please close the door on your way out.”

  Immediately, she stepped out and closed the door behind her. No sooner had the door closed than I was on my phone dialing the security firm I’d hired.

  “Blacklight Security,” came the gruff greeting.

  “Connor, it’s Marcus. Don’t ask any questions. Get to my office, now.”

  “I’ll be there in less than fifteen minutes.”

  I paced my office, cursing Evan Banks and glancing at the clock watching the minutes tick by as I waited for Connor to show up. Twelve minutes later, Elaine announced the arrival of Mr. Connor Black. He entered my office and made his way to the couch on the far side of the room. Elaine closed the door to give us our privacy.

  “So, tell me what was so urgent that I had to drop everything and rush over here.” Connor asked once we were alone.

  I snatched the pictures and note up from my desk, tossed them on the couch next to Connor, and waited impatiently as he looked them over. “He’s fucking following Penny, Connor. I hired your firm because it’s supposed to be the best. Plus, you’re my friend. What the fuck is going on? Why hasn’t your team found him yet? How does the man keep evading them? This motherfucker has been a thorn in my side for over two years. He can’t find Grace, so now he’s threatening Penny to fuck with me. I need him found and evidence that he’s been sending me letters threatening Grace. Now, Penny. I’m tired of this cat and mouse game, Connor.”

  “I have my team working day and night on this, Marcus. I know the danger Evan presents. Somehow he always stays one step ahead of us. It’s like the fucker knows our every move before we make it. We’ll find him. It’s just going to take some time.”

  “Time is running out, Connor. He’s upped the ante with his threats to Penny. I need this to be done with yesterday.”

  After Connor left, I spent the rest of the day working on projects for the rest of my clients, but my focus was elsewhere. Before long, it was late evening and after what happened today, I needed to make sure things were okay. I headed to my car in the garage and was soon making the short trek to the suburbs. I always took great pains to make sure I wasn’t followed whenever I came here. It was imperative that no one find this place. After parking my car down the block, I waited a few minutes, looking around at my surroundings to make sure I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. When nothing caught my eye, I exited the car and took off through a nearby alleyway, cutting through several yards and crisscrossing a couple streets, before I finally reached my destination. Later, I would discover that had I taken an extra sweep of the area I would have seen a silver Honda Civic with a pine tree air freshener hanging from the rearview mirror. Maybe it would have made a difference.

  I knocked on the back door of a small, yellow house with the cookie cutter design of every third house in the development. It was the reason I chose this house. It looked like every other cottage sized Cape Cod house on the block. Little ornamentation to make it memorable. After several minutes, the curtain on the window of the door slid to the side and a man peered out. Immediately, he unlocked the door and ushered me inside the kitchen.

  “No problems today, sir?” he inquired after shutting the door behind us.

  After taking a seat on one of the bar stools at the kitchen island, I looked over at the armed man who’d granted me entrance. “All precautions were taken, Miles. I wasn’t followed, I made sure of it. How have they been? Anything new I should be concerned about, besides what I spoke to Connor about today?”

  Miles crossed his arms over his massive chest, pulling at the holster around his shoulders and back. “Everything has been quiet here. Nothing out of the ordinary to report. They miss you though. Well, at least Miss Hailey misses you.”

  I barely held back the wince at his admonishment as I tried not to let the guilt over my inability to be here more than I already was get to me. “I visit as often as I can, Miles. You know it’s not safe for me to come here too much in case I’m followed. You know what Evan would do if he found them. You’ve been with me long enough to know I do my best. I wish I could come more often. I miss Hailey every day I’m not with her.”

  “I understand, sir. I care about that little girl and know how much she misses you. She’s too young to understand why you can’t be here all the time. Miss Grace tries to explain it to her, but the little one cries every time you leave. It breaks her mama’s heart. I know it’s not safe. I do, and I understand how hard it is for you as well, sir.” Filled with guilt nonetheless, I excused myself and went in search of Grace.

  I roamed through the house, heading upstairs toward Hailey’s room. It was after supper and Grace was either giving Hailey a bath or reading her a story. When I reached Hailey’s room, the door was cracked, and I heard the sound of Grace’s lilting voice as she read about a bear cub and the moon. Standing outside the door, I dared to take a peek in. Sitting up in the bed was a beautiful blonde woman, and snuggled up next to her with a book in her hand, was a miniature version of her. A little girl, around two years old, who was an almost exact replica of the older woman she leaned against, from her blonde hair to her vibrant blue eyes, pert little nose, and cupid’s bow lips.

  I watched them for a moment. When I shifted my weight, I moved enough to cause the door to open further and the hinges to squeak. The woman jumped slightly and snapped her head in the direction of the door, immediately poised to flee. The little girl, who hadn’t yet been conditioned to jump at noises that might mean danger, turned her head more slowly to see what had interrupted her story time. When she spied me standing there, she dove off the bed and raced toward me with her arms outstretched.

  “Daddy!” she yelled as she launched herself into my arms. She peppered sweet kisses all over my face, giggling as my scruff tickled her cheeks.

  “I’ve missed you so much, baby girl,” I hugged her tightly, inhaling the familiar little girl smell as I glanced over her head at the woman swinging her legs over the side of the bed. She embodied her name with long, graceful moves as she made her way over to us. Leaning in, she lightly bussed me on the cheek, earning another giggle from the little girl squirming around in my
arms.

  “Hello, Marcus,” she said.

  “Grace.”

  A comfortable silence reigned as we stood side by side with our daughter between us. Within a minute, Grace stepped away. “I’ll let you two catch up. I’ll be downstairs when you’re done.” Then she left me alone with our daughter and her giggles as Hailey began telling me about her day.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Marcus

  After reading Hailey another bedtime story I tucked her in bed, kissed her goodnight, and went downstairs to speak with Grace. I found her curled up on the couch with a cup of the hot tea she loved. I made my way to the recliner next to the couch and took a seat.

  “It’s good to see you again, Grace. Have you been doing ok?”

  She took a sip of her tea before answering, as if measuring her words first. “You know how it is, Marcus. I understand it’s for Hailey’s and my safety, but I hate being in this house all the time. Do you know how hard it is to keep a two-and-a-half-year-old entertained day in and day out? Of course you don’t, because you’re never here.” She continued bitterly, “You’re not the one who has to come up with creative ideas for a little girl to stay busy all the time. Or the one who has to comfort your daughter when she cries because her daddy leaves all the time. You’re not the one stuck in a house alone, except for a toddler and an endless rotation of men who are paid to protect you, but not, apparently, to talk to you. I’m so lonely. If it weren’t for Hailey, I’d rather take my chances with Evan. No matter how crazy my ex-husband is at least there wasn’t this endless sameness. I never knew what would set him off so at least it kept life interesting, even if I had bruises to go with it. I’m going crazy here, Marcus. ”

  We’d tiptoed around this discussion many times before. It seemed as though it was about to come to a head. “Grace, I know this isn’t ideal, and I’m sorry you’re the one stuck in this horrible situation. I’m doing everything I can to get a lead on Evan and prove that he’s a danger to you and Hailey. Unfortunately, that son of a bitch is smart. He’s been keeping his nose clean and laying low. He’s going to make a mistake one of these days, Grace. Then it will be all over and you’ll be safe.”

  Grace stood up from the couch and walked into the kitchen to place her teacup in the sink leaving me no choice but to follow. She sighed, wearily, as she leaned against the counter. Miles made his exit when we walked in so we were alone in the kitchen. “Look, I’m sorry I snapped at you. I’m tired although that’s no excuse. I know you’re doing everything you can. For God’s sake, Marcus, we’ve been here over two years. This isn’t getting any easier. What about when Hailey needs to start school? And what about friends? She can’t stay in this house forever. I wish this were all over. God, I hate Evan. Marrying him was the second worse decision I’ve ever made.”

  Knowing I shouldn’t ask, the question popped out of my mouth before I could stop it. “What was the first worse decision you’d ever made?”

  She stared me right in the eye and said, “When I broke it off with you all those years ago. We were so good together, you and me. I miss those days. I miss you.”

  Uncomfortable with the direction the conversation had taken, I shifted awkwardly and looked at my feet. I wasn’t used to not being in control. “Grace…” I trailed off. Neither of us spoke for a minute. “I should probably tell you I’m seeing someone.” I broke the now uncomfortable silence between us. I’d surprised her. I hated that I was telling her this now knowing how much it would hurt her, even though it wasn’t my intention.

  “What’s her name?” she asked quietly.

  “Penny. She reminds me of you a little. Or at least the younger you. Innocent and a little naive. She’s recently begun exploring submission and, well, I’m mentoring her.” I hated hurting her this way.

  “Do you love her?”

  I thought about the time I’d spent with Penny. I cared about her a lot and she was the perfect submissive. Pliant and malleable. I’ve been able to help mold her into her role. She was everything I was looking for in a submissive. She was smart, funny, loving, kind, and loyal. Did I love her? I wasn’t sure if it was love, yet. I had a pretty good idea that it could turn to love without much effort on my part though. The scales were tipping dangerously close in that direction.

  “Let’s say I wouldn’t discount it. I’m more concerned about Evan right now. He’s made a few threatening gestures, and I don’t want her in the middle of this disaster. I’m doing everything I can to protect you and Hailey. I can’t add another person to the mix. You know what Evan is capable of. You were lucky the last time. He almost killed you. I can’t take any chances with anyone I care about.”

  Grace reached out to hug me and I basked in the reminiscence of what used to be. Our former relationship was over and never happening again and we both knew it, even if Grace hadn’t admitted it to herself. We were better off as friends than lovers. We would always share our daughter, but our intimate relationship had been over for a long time now. I hugged her back and kissed her on the cheek.

  “You know I’ll always love you, Grace. I’m going to push harder to get Evan out of your life forever. It’s going to take some time. I’m sorry, but I need to get going. Kiss our Hailey girl for me, and tell her I love her always.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Marcus

  I drove back to town barely paying attention to my surroundings. I didn’t want to analyze my feelings for Penny. I knew I was avoiding them, but I was too exhausted having to deal with Evan and his threats. Suddenly, though, there was no place I’d rather be than with Penny. I took a different exit off the freeway and headed to her house rather than mine. Fifteen minutes later, I pulled into her driveway. I sat for a couple of minutes, scoping out the surroundings. When I didn’t spy anything suspicious, I jogged up the walk and rapped on the door. When she opened the door, I drank her in from top to bottom. She stood there in pajamas, free of makeup, with her hair knotted on top of her head, and she was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. A woman surprised to see me this late at night, since I’d always given advance warning of my arrival

  “Marcus, Sir, what are you doing here? Not that you aren’t welcome, I’m just surprised to see you.” She opened the door wider to let me pass. Her nose wrinkled and puzzlement dashed across her face when I walked by.

  I suddenly began questioning my decision to be here. Vulnerability was not a virtue I associated with myself, and I found myself uncomfortable with my reasons for needing to see her. Shaking my head, I started back toward the door. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come over so late. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

  She stayed me with a touch. “Stop. Please. Don’t go. Talk to me, tell me what’s bothering you.” She moved closer to me and then froze. With an expression on her face I’d never seen before, she backed up.

  “Why do you smell like another woman?” She spoke low, the hurt in her voice evident. “I thought I caught a whiff of it when you walked in, but I wasn’t sure until I stepped close. Now I am. Please explain to me, Marcus, why you smell like another woman?”

  I remembered that Grace had hugged me before I left. I didn’t want to lie to her, but I also couldn’t afford to tell her the truth. “It’s not what you think.” The line sounded patronizing even to my own ears.

  “It’s not what I think? You walk into my house smelling like another woman, and you expect me to believe that load of bullshit?” Her voice rose with each word she spoke. “I understand we never spoke of exclusivity. Perhaps that was my mistake. Exclusive or not, I already had one man cheat on me. I’ll be damned if I’m going to put up with another one cheating on me. I don’t ever want to see you again. Now, get the hell out of my house,” she ended on a yell. During her speech, she had opened up the door and with her final command pointed outside.

  Without thought, I slammed the door shut and grabbed her in a tight hug, as she struggled in my arms. One of her arms came loose, and I grunted in pain when she punched me in the
face. Luckily, she didn’t have great leverage or she might have broken my nose. When I looked at her, tears rolled down her face.

  I grabbed her hands, holding tight so she didn’t clock me again. “God damn it, listen to me. It’s not what you think.” Now I yelled, trying to get through to her.

  She broke away from me and stepped into her kitchen, her arms wrapped tightly around her. “So if it’s not what I think, then explain it to me.” She sat at her table, betrayal across her face.

  “I’m sorry, I can’t.” When she started to speak, I stopped her. “I’m trying to protect you, Penny, and I swear on everything I hold dear, I am not cheating on you. Have I ever given you any reason to think I would lie to you?” Not waiting on a response, I cautiously walked over to where she sat and sank to my knees in front of her. Gingerly, I reached out for her hands, waiting for her to slap mine away. When she didn’t, I took her hands in mine and waited until she focused on me. I brushed the hair that had fallen out of her knot away from her face. When I knew she was listening, I said again, “I swear I’m not cheating on you. Please believe me.”

  I waited with bated breath as she sat studying me. Finally, she answered. “I believe you.” Relief rushed through me, and I pulled her up into a hug. She returned my embrace, but she was still apprehensive. I wish she trusted me. I knew that until Evan was caught I’d have to remain secretive. The less she knew the better. I’d do everything in my power to protect her. Even make her hate me if need be.

  Chapter Eighteen