Books by Linda Conrad

by Conrad, Linda

  “If it is steroids, then I agree,” Tory told her. “They should stop. In fact, if they don’t know what they’re taking, they shouldn’t be taking it. It could be really dangerous. But what does any of that have to do with you?”

  Ben couldn’t hear the girl’s answer, but he heard Tory’s voice getting slightly more shrill. As if she was concerned but couldn’t make the girl understand her fears.

  The sound of footsteps told him someone was heading for the door he’d been standing behind. He moved away and went back outside the nurse’s office, counted to ten and then reentered as if he’d just arrived.

  “Ben,” Tory said when she caught sight of him and closed the door to the other room behind her. “Is the ceremony over? I’m glad to see you. Can you still see me now?”

  “Yes to everything. Are you ready to go?” He wanted to talk to her about what he’d overheard. But not here.

  Before they left the high school, Tory sought out April, told her about the girl still lying on the cot in her office and then asked the nurse to surreptitiously find out the name of the girl’s boyfriend. Ben had quietly mentioned he’d overheard the bulk of the conversation. But the two of them decided to wait until they were alone to discuss it.

  She climbed into the driver’s seat of his SUV and waited for him to buckle up. “Where to?”

  “I doubt that the Department of Highways has had a chance to clear out the road to my house. So, if we want to clean up and rest, we’ll have to go to yours.”

  Tory hadn’t thought about the highway being blocked. “You mean there isn’t any other way up there? How long will you be kept out of your place?”

  Ben smiled and shrugged. “There is another way in, but it’s about a three-hour-extra drive. I imagine the road should be cleared by tomorrow. So not much need to waste the time going around…unless you don’t want to invite me to your home for tonight.”

  The mere thought of being alone with him—anywhere—suddenly brought back the cloud of lust she’d been trying to shake. Oh, Mother Mary. She was obsessing about a man. How could she?

  Looking up into his dark brown eyes, she wondered, how could she not?

  “Of course you’re invited to my house.” She started up the SUV. “We’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  In the ten minutes of their drive home, Tory thought of nothing but the way his hands on her face had felt so intimate. So awe-inspiring. He had blown her away with just his fingertips and his lips.

  Dear God, she had to do something to help him get past this eye disease. He’d given her the gift of caring and intimacy. Though she knew better than to expect anything more, she just had to return the favor.

  In the meantime, she would figure out how to stop all these sexual stirrings. She would. They were obviously not ever going to become a couple—the word couple as applied to the two of them was almost laughable. It might even be considered a joke, if it didn’t hurt so much to know the time was coming when she would never see him again.

  As they walked into her house, Ben quickly went from one room to the next. He told her he was trying to memorize the layout and the steps necessary to get around in case his eyesight went back out suddenly.

  After making sure he was okay, she excused herself and took a shower. She needed to clean up. But as the hot water sluiced over her body, the sizzling tingles against her thighs and the heady smell of her soap turned her thoughts right back to that sensual moment between the two of them up on the mountain.

  This was an impossible situation. She couldn’t concentrate on anything but the dream of his hands on her body. What could she do to put an end to all these cravings so she could get down to what was important?

  There were so many new things for her brain to consider instead of sexual longings. She needed to talk to Dr. Hardeen about taking a few days off to work with Ben every week. She wanted to get out in the garden with Shirley as soon as possible and learn about the Plant Clan. And now she was very concerned about the idea of some sort of cult pushing the use of steroids and taking over at the high school.

  But still, behind all those thoughts, the memory of the erotic delight in Ben’s touch kept interfering. Damn her screwy hormones, anyway.

  After drying off and putting on clean clothes, Tory sucked up her resolve and went out to the kitchen to find Ben—and came to a roaring halt when she found the man, minus his shirt, cooking something on her stove.

  “I…” Nope, the voice sounded too rough.

  She cleared her throat and tried again. “I didn’t think I had anything fit to eat in the place. I’ve been trying to get to the grocery store.”

  Yeah. That sounded cool enough.

  Then he turned his head, and her knees buckled. She was forced to grab hold of a kitchen chair in order to stay upright.

  “You look…clean,” he said with a smile in his voice.

  But the desire in his eyes was much more graphic. The sensual need and something else that resembled desperation was as plain on his face as a pornographic film. She couldn’t speak.

  “I hope you don’t mind,” he said as he turned back to the stove. “I foraged around in your cabinets and went out to the garden. We’re having spaghetti primavera. I assume you’ll like the way I make it.”

  “I’m sure I will.” Whatever he did was okay by her, and now that he wasn’t looking directly at her, she was getting her footing again.

  “After we eat, I’ll help you take a bath if you want to clean up.”

  Had she really just said that? What an idiot.

  He flipped her a look that said he certainly would like to clean up in the bathtub—with her. “Thanks. Don’t look so horrified—I knew what you meant, Doctor. It’s my clothes I’m most worried about, though. Can you stuff them into the washer with yours and find me a blanket or something to wear until they’re clean?”

  “Uh…I don’t have a washer. But I’ll take them down to the laundromat after dinner. It won’t take too long.”

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be out on the roads after dark.”

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake. Don’t you people ever give that a rest?” She took a deep breath and counted to ten. “It will still be light after dinner. It’s early yet. I’ll be back well before dark. I promise.”

  Ben nodded sharply. “Okay, then. Maybe when you get back we can try that bathtub deal. It sounds like fun.”

  9

  “B en? Where are you?”

  The house seemed too still. She noticed a light in the kitchen but the rest of the house was cast in darkness. Tory worried that something terrible had happened to him.

  She set the basket of clean clothes down and went searching, switching on overheads along the way. Finding a light on in the bathroom and a wet towel over the bar but Ben nowhere to be seen, she continued down the hall and pushed the door open to check her bedroom.

  Through the shadows being thrown into the room by the lighted glow from the hallway, she saw him sitting cross-legged on her bed with the blanket loosely over his shoulders. Thank God.

  “You didn’t answer me,” she said. “What’s going on?”

  “It’s already dark. You promised. I’ve been concerned.”

  It was more than that. She knew by the way he was sitting there and staring blankly at the wall that he was blind again.

  “It’s only just past dusk. But I’m sorry if you were worried.” She moved to the bed and sat beside him.

  Reaching over to push a strand of wet hair off his face, she was truly mad at herself for not having been here to help him get around. To be his eyes.

  But when he flinched away from the touch, everything changed for her.

  “Ben. Please.” The hum of desire that arched between them was too much for her to ignore any longer.

  She took his hand and placed it against her breast. “Forgive me for not being here when you needed me. But right now, I need you. Don’t turn away. Please…please make love to me.”

  He stilled.
But he didn’t pull his hand away.

  “I can’t need you,” he whispered. “I can’t let myself.”

  “Why? Because you’re afraid of being too dependent on my help? Don’t lose hope that way. There’s a chance your blindness won’t become permanent.”

  “No, it isn’t that.” He voice sounded strangled, as if it cost him dearly to speak.

  “Then what?”

  For one long moment, she held her breath and waited to find out her fate. She knew he’d made some kind of deal with himself where she was concerned. She’d seen his hunger, could feel his desperation. But she had also seen that he’d been holding back—perhaps out of some sense of honor.

  Now would he accept what she was offering? She wished with everything in her that he could look at her and really see her. See her need.

  Finally, he spoke. “I have responsibilities that you don’t understand.”

  He was right: she didn’t have any idea what that meant. But his hand remained under hers and against her breast. He hadn’t pulled away.

  Even in the shadows of the room, she could see his nostrils flare as he licked his lips. He might not be able to see her need, but she saw his. And knew he had to be feeling her heart fluttering under his fingers. It was beating so frantically, she was half afraid the darn thing might jump right out of her chest.

  Ben wanted what she wanted. She could smell it emanating from his every pore. The pheromones wafting around the room had to be so thick she was surprised they were both still able to breathe.

  She had never ever wanted anyone like this. It was insane, and she was becoming giddy from the crazy sensations streaming along just under her skin.

  Sliding her other hand under his, she began to unbutton her blouse. Slowly, praying he would stay with her, she sandwiched his hand with both of her own and slipped all the buttons free.

  Letting the blouse fall open to reveal her bare breasts, she heard his slight intake of breath when he realized she didn’t have a bra on. Thank heaven she hadn’t had the time to do laundry all week.

  What she decided to do next might’ve been too huge a risk to take, considering how conflicted he was about her. But she held her breath anyway and reached for his other hand.

  Tory just had to feel his hands on her, and was dying to touch him in return. She’d dreamed of it, craved it, secretly prayed for it since the night they’d first met.

  Now that she had him in her bed, she wasn’t about to give up without knowing—knowing him.

  He passively sat there while she took both of his hands and placed them on her naked breasts. For just a second, she reveled in the warm feel of his rough palms against her tender nipples. She ached for him.

  Slowly, steadily, she began to rub his hands across her chest, letting both of them get used to the sensual sensations of skin on skin. God, how she wished he could see how her breasts peaked and tightened under his touch. He wouldn’t be able to resist. Just as she found it impossible to resist any of this herself.

  Their joining had to happen. She wouldn’t be able to go on breathing if they didn’t make love to each other tonight.

  Her body began to shake, trembling, nearly drowning her with need. Being this close, hearing the air going in and out of his lungs and smelling his masculine scent was becoming exquisite torture.

  “Ben, please,” she whimpered. “Touch me. Taste me. Let me touch you.” She knew she sounded desperate.

  A keening moan, so low and sad it broke her heart, came from the depths of his gut. Whatever demons had been controlling him must’ve taken flight in that groan.

  He shrugged off his blanket and pushed at the material of her blouse, still clinging to her shoulders. With a war cry sounding both savage and feral, he ripped the seams and tore it from her body. Then, tumbling her backward on the bed, he pinned her below him.

  “Yes,” she cried. Dizzy with relief, she was nearly blinded by the desire between them. “Ben, oh, yes.”

  Lost. When Ben covered her mouth with his own, demanding, soothing, nipping, laving, he was done for.

  From some distant place, he had heard the sound of his name coming from her lips and felt more turned on than he had ever been. It wasn’t just the enforced abstinence; it was her. Tory. With that breathless, out-of-control voice that seeped right inside him.

  She tasted like clouds, all soft and wispy. Just like the angel he’d dreamed she would be. But it also seemed to him she was light enough that if he lifted his head, she might drift away on a breeze.

  So he didn’t. He kept on kissing her and kissing her, lingering, tasting, testing. Until a dizzy fire built in his brain.

  Wiggling under him, she dug her fingers into his shoulders. He didn’t dare let her move away. And he was guessing she wanted this to go further, the same way he did.

  In a lightning move that surprised even him, he grabbed her wrists and raised them above her head with one hand so he could stretch her body out. Then with the other hand, he let his fingertips see all the hidden places that his eyes could not.

  Bending his head to take one of her taut nipples into his mouth, he let his free hand roll the other peak between thumb and forefinger. Every sense was on high alert, taking up the slack where his vision had failed.

  Hearing her moans, smelling her slight scent of citrus mixed with musk, tasting the salty brine of the sweat on her skin. His head was filled with heady, breathtaking sensations.

  She called out to him. Whimpered. Begged. Cooed. And finally screamed.

  Sliding down her body, he dragged his mouth over her flesh. His blood thickened, boiled. She grabbed handfuls of his hair, holding his head to her body and begging to be released from the tension he knew coiled inside her.

  He began to hum—low and soothing, as his lips whispered along her skin. Wanting more time to stir and cherish—more time to please them both—he did the opposite of what she wanted and slowed down.

  Ben’s mind went back to long ago. To a time when his mother’s words hadn’t made much sense. But now they did.

  “Sex is a sacred sharing, my son,” she’d told him. “It’s the way your spirit and the spirit of your beloved can dance together in the flesh.”

  Without being able to see Tory’s reactions, he clearly felt their spirits mingling, soaring, rising up together. It was like nothing in his experience.

  Her body was so solid and sleek. He cherished her—with fingers, tongue, and most of all with his heart. When he nudged through the tightly wound curls to the mound at the apex of her thighs, his imagination went wild. He just knew the hair there would be as blond as on her head. And he suffered greatly from the lack of being able to see for himself.

  She cried out as he touched his tongue to her hidden nub, and he felt her spinning out of control. But one spin wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough.

  His actions had to tell her everything he would never have the words to say.

  He sat up and brought her up with him—touching her everywhere—with hands frantic to learn every inch in the short time they would be together like this.

  She laughed at his frenetic pace. Then she shrieked. And finally she growled, shoving at his shoulders to make him lie back so she could take charge.

  This position made him more vulnerable, especially since he couldn’t see. But he wanted her to know he trusted her—just for tonight.

  Tory could hardly bear the tension building to unbelievable heights inside her body. But as she lay her hands against Ben’s chest and felt his heart thundering under her palms, she vowed to stay with him.

  Now. Tonight. Forever. Or for however long he wanted her.

  His smell wrapped around her senses. Never before had she felt the heat of a man’s breath or the touch of his tongue in the golden place between her thighs. She hadn’t even been able to imagine it.

  But now she would never forget. Never.

  Payback time, she thought smugly.

  Leaning over, she kissed his erection and ran her tongue over the smooth
, silky edges of him. She wanted to hear him beg as she had, wanted to give him back a tiny amount of the pleasure he had given her.

  She listened as his breathing changed, became shallow and rough. But as she laved and explored his body, the heat in her own core grew beyond her ability to hold back.

  A momentary panic about protection reminded her of the condoms she’d stashed in her bedside drawer. At the time it had seemed way out of character for her to even think of such a thing. But now, all she could do was be grateful.

  In seconds she had one out of the package and fitted down over him. Then straddling his body, she eased herself lower and took him into the place that had somehow known that their joining this way would feel like coming home.

  The shock of how right they were together took her a minute to get used to. She gasped and stilled.

  And then Ben laughed, growing even harder inside her. His laugh was such a carefree, passion-filled sound that her heart warmed and turned gooey.

  Displaced, she felt adrift—forever taken by his spirit, even knowing full well this was likely to be their only time together.

  Wrapping herself around him, she let him fill her, going farther, deeper. As deep as he could go. Deep enough to touch her lost heart.

  She shoved the hopeless yearning for a lifetime of his touch aside for now, and just experienced the shattering feeling of fusing body to body, mind to mind.

  Just when she thought they were both about to go over the edge, he stilled inside her. “Let me touch your face,” he groaned in a hoarse voice. “Let me feel what my eyes cannot see. I have to know that this affects you the way it is affecting me. Let me. I beg you.”

  Chills and fever ran along her spine simultaneously, capturing her in a field of electricity. She would give him anything. Always.

  She lifted his hands and, with the most gentle of touches, placed his fingertips against her face. He ran them lightly around her eyelids, over her forehead, and finally stroked her lips.

  Opening her mouth, she took his forefinger inside. Then slowly she began to move her lower body against his. As their thrusts grew harder, faster, she mimicked the movements with her mouth, sucking and pulling on his finger as her internal muscles sucked and pulled him deeper to her core.