Makayla did the same, all the while wondering when Robin was going to finish what she was saying. After they ate in silence for at least ten minutes, Makayla stole a glance at Robin. She hadn’t known her very long, but she knew her well enough to see she was nervous and waiting for something. But what?
"This crawfish etouffée reminds me of my grandma's."
There, Makayla thought. Maybe that would get her talking again.
"She must've been a good cook."
"One of the best. Almost as good as Mr. Jones."
Robin covered her mouth with her napkin and laughed heartily. "Oh Lord, please don't ever tell him that. I’d never hear the end of it."
Then they were silent again. The closer they got to finishing their meal, the more frustrated Makayla became. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore.
"You never finished what you were saying."
And there it was, clear as day, relief all over Robin's face. She nodded her head, smiling. "Yes, yes. The reason I wanted to see you."
She patted her mouth with her napkin and pushed her plate away.
"That day, the day you were sick, I got the impression that even if you had a phone, there was no one to call. I don't want it to be that way. I don't want you to feel like you don't have someone to turn to. I don't want you to feel alone."
Robin took a deep breath and leaned forward.
“And so… I’ve been thinking, if it's all right with you, I'd like to be your godmother. Now before you say no, hear me out."
Makayla was too stunned to say anything, much less “no,” so she just nodded her head.
"I know you don't want anyone's charity. That's not what I'm suggesting. You haven't really talked about your family, but I'm guessing you aren't close. And me, well, other than my dad, I don't have a family, either. It would mean a lot to me to be there for you. That being said, I don't want you to feel any pressure. If I'm coming on too strong or this is more than you want to deal with, I can understand that, too."
She stopped, looking at Makayla, waiting for her to say something. Makayla just sat there, no clue what to say. All she’d wanted growing up was to hear her mother say she wanted her. And now here she was, in a way, doing just that. It was the last thing Makayla had expected to hear that day.
"You want to be my godmother… What would that mean?"
"Whatever you want it to mean. Whatever you need." Robin pushed Makayla’s bowl aside and reached for her hand. “I’m more than financially stable, so I could be there for you in that way. You could come to me about anything. Advice. Answers. Even just to spend time together."
Makayla pulled her hand from Robin’s. Then she clenched her jaw and looked away. When that didn’t work, she bit down on the inside of her cheek. Next, she dug the nails of one hand into the skin of the other. She did anything she could think of to keep from falling apart.
Robin looked down, spreading her hands across the space of table in front of her. "It was just a thought. Like I said, I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable—“
Makayla tried to wipe the tears before Robin saw them, but they were coming so fast and in such abundance, she failed.
"Oh, no…"
Robin got up from her side of the booth and sat next to Makayla. She drew her in, so Makayla's head was on her shoulder. Once the tears had slowed, Robin tilted Makayla’s head so they were facing one another.
"I think God brought you here for a reason. I think we were meant to be in each other's lives."
Makayla remained silent.
Robin was right about one thing: Makayla was there for a reason. But she was just beginning to realize it was the wrong one.
Chapter 25
“Bree, I really need you to call me back. As soon as possible. Please. I can’t— Things have changed. We can’t do the interview. I mean, we can’t do what we’d planned for the interview. I messed up and—“
The voice mail recording cut off. Makayla took a deep breath and tried not to give into the panic that had her heart in a vise grip.
Calm down. It’s not a problem. Not yet.
She’d just call Bree again later. It was only Thursday and the interview wasn’t until Monday. There was still more than enough time to stop it. But that wasn’t the most important thing at the moment. The most important thing was what she now knew about Robin and why she left.
Despite the coat wrapped around her and the brisk speed at which she walked down the street, Makayla couldn't stop trembling.
Rape.
The word worked on her body like a sickness far worse than the flu she’d just recovered from. Every few feet, she had to stop and take slow, deep breaths in an effort not to be sick.
Her mind was clouded and she found it nearly impossible to think straight. Like earlier, when she told Robin it was okay to drop her off at her apartment. She’d already agreed to meet Trey on campus the night before. Now she raced to get there, having texted him that her class ran late and she needed to talk to a teacher before she arrived.
She hoped that’s what she wrote. She couldn't be sure. Everything was jumbled in her head. And the more she tried to think about anything other than what Robin said at lunch, the louder the conversation replayed.
Rape…
No, she hadn’t said that specifically, but wasn’t it implied? It lined up with the story Trey told her the night before, too. With everything, really. For weeks, she couldn’t figure out why someone like Robin would leave her child behind. Now it all made sense.
Makayla picked up her pace to a light jog. She needed to get to Trey. She needed someone to tell her what to do. Should she tell Robin? Should she disappear? Should she stay, but keep her identity a secret forever? She didn’t want to hurt Robin any more than she already had. Which option would cause her the least pain? Makayla had no idea, but Trey would. He’d known Robin far longer. He’d not only know what to do, he’d be able to help her do it.
Though she’d started out despising him, at that moment, she couldn’t have been more grateful to have him in her life. Being with him was so easy. Maybe that’s why she always told him more than she intended to. He was the only person she'd ever been truthful with. Though he didn't know it, he knew more about her than anyone else on the planet. The crazy thing was, he liked her anyway.
When she saw him, it would take everything in her not to break down and cry. That was the only reason she’d texted instead of calling. She was afraid hearing his voice would make her crumble. She hoped she’d be able to get herself together within the time it took to reach campus, because falling apart wasn’t an option right now.
Right now, she needed a plan.
He’d help her with that, she was sure of it. She just needed to keep it together until then. When she saw him and his goofy grin, the storm clouds would part and she’d be able to see the sun again.
Only…
To get his help, she'd have to tell him everything. Could she do that? She’d already told him some of her secrets, what was one more?
But it wasn’t just any secret, was it? It was admitting she’d set out to destroy a woman he adored. It was admitting she’d lied to that woman since she’d met her. It was admitting she was likely the cause of the terrible depressions that same woman had suffered through for years.
Trey was a tolerant person, but was he that understanding?
Makayla would’ve preferred to keep her worst secrets to herself, but she was in over her head and she knew it. Trey was smart. A lot smarter than she was. She didn’t know what to do, but he would. She had to keep telling herself that. She had to believe it.
The closer she got to where the fountain stood, the easier it was to breathe. Yes, Trey would help her. Even after she explained what she’d done. That was the thing about him, the thing she’d never been able to understand. Even when she acted like a beast, he always saw past that to what was real.
She crossed the overpass and saw him standing on the steps, his back to her as he spoke with another stud
ent. She didn't even have to see his smile to know everything would be okay.
She ran to him and called out, "Trey!" That's when she recognized the other student. It was Shauna. And when Trey turned to look at Makayla, the expression on his face stopped her cold.
"Hey, Charity!" Shauna was all smiles.
Makayla ignored her and looked to Trey. "Hey, sorry I'm late."
"I got your text about your class."
Shauna snickered.
"Yeah, umm, can we go somewhere and talk?"
Shauna patted Trey on the shoulder. "During that talk, don’t forget to ask her to explain how a class that was canceled for the day can run late."
Makayla looked from Shauna to Trey and back to Shauna again. Makayla felt heat rise in her cheeks. Trey only glared at her, saying nothing.
"And after she explains that, maybe she can do the same for Prof. Hillard. He's convinced there isn’t a Makayla Dawson enrolled in his class. I assured him it must be a mistake because she’d told several people he was her favorite teacher.“
Shauna couldn't have been happier if it were Christmas morning. She took in Makayla's mortified expression and Trey’s stony one and nodded. Seeing her work was done, she waved her fingers in the air.
"See you later, Trey Bear! You too, Makay—well, probably not…huh?” She twirled on her heel and bounced away.
Makayla felt herself cower under Trey's glare. "I can explain."
"I bet you can. You're really good at that, aren't you?" His voice was cold. His words, clipped.
"I hadn’t intended on lying. Not to you. I mean, not at first…"
Makayla felt as if she’d lost all ability to communicate effectively. She knew she needed to tell the truth, but she also knew she needed to tell it in a way that he'd understand. In a way that wouldn't make him wash his hands of her forever. Especially now. When she’d dug a hole so deep, she had no hope of climbing out on her own.
"Who, then?"
“Huh?”
Trey exhaled roughly and Makayla could practically see what little patience he had left, evaporating.
"If you hadn’t intended on lying to me, who had you intended on lying to?”
"Nobody! It just happened. She assumed I was in college. And the way she said it, ‘a college girl!’ I didn’t want her to know! I didn't want to tell her I dropped out of high school! I didn't want her to think I was a loser."
At her outburst, Trey put his hands up. "Wait. What are you talking about? Who assumed?"
"Robin. The first day I met her. I didn't want her to know…" Makayla tightened her fists until her nails dug into the heels of her palms. She’d give anything to go back to that day. To start again, knowing what she knew now.
"I messed up. I've messed everything up."
Trey took a step closer to her and when he spoke, his voice was filled with the warmth and kindness she'd come to rely on.
"No one's gonna think you're a loser just because you're not in college. But you can’t—“ He sighed. “Makayla, you can't keep doing this. It’s not right. You gotta talk to Robin. All you have to do is tell her what you just told me."
Makayla pressed the palms of her hands to her eyes. If only it were that easy. She couldn't shake the feeling she was already past the point of a simple explanation.
"I don't think I can do it by myself. Would you help me?"
"Of course. I'll be right there." He chuckled and rubbed her back. "But chill, okay? I think you’re making more of this than necessary." He crouched a bit so he could look at her downturned face. "You look like you're about to hyperventilate. It's not that bad. Just explain that you panicked and made a bad decision. That's all you've got to tell her."
Makayla shook her head and looked at Trey. "No. I have to tell her a lot more than that."
Over the next hour, they sat in Trey's car while she tried to make him see the situation from her point of view. But the more she talked, the more she realized that wasn't going to happen. It was plain from the look on his face that, out of everything she’d said, he only heard one thing.
Makayla had come to Texas to destroy Robin.
“Things got out of hand. I can understand why you’re angry, believe me, I do. But I need your help.”
Trey shook his head, his hands gripping the steering wheel of the parked car.
"You're unbelievable. You know that? I can’t tell whether you’re a scam artist or just someone in serious need of professional help—“
"I'm telling you the truth! And I'm telling you because I don't know what to do!"
"You don't know what to do? Are you kidding me? Out of everything, that's the one thing that's obvious! Call this lady you've been feeding information to and tell her it was all a setup! Tell her you lied!"
“But I didn’t lie! And that’s not even the point—”
Trey hit the steering wheel in frustration. "See? See? That right there! You say you want help, but you won't stop!”
"I messed up. I know that. I know I never should've contacted Bree. But what I told her, what I'm telling you, is true."
Trey shook his head and waved his hands in the air. "There is no way Robin did what you're saying and you know it. She’d never leave a kid in the situation you say you grew up in. Never."
"It didn't make sense to me either. But when I searched her room, I found the Planned Parenthood pamphlet and I think—“
The car doors unlocked. "Get out. Now."
He couldn't turn on her. Not now. Not when she needed him so much. If he wouldn't understand, who could?
Makayla's panic manifested itself in her voice. "Trey, please, just listen. She told me she could understand if a girl was—“
"Go.”
"I think she was raped! I think it’s the only reason she left!”
Makayla blurted the words out. Trey stared at her in disbelief. He leaned forward and rested his hands and forehead on the steering wheel.
When he straightened up, he refused to look at her. His voice was so quiet, she had to strain to make out the words.
"I don't even know what to say anymore. Searching her room?" He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I don't know who you are or what your endgame is, but I'm done. I am done with you."
“Don’t say that. Please…"
"You know how she is. You know how she feels about you. And still, you did this.”
"I know, I know. I'm a bad person. No one’s saying I'm not. She doesn't deserve this, but I don't know what to do. When Bree calls me back, I'll explain everything. I'll take care of the interview. But Robin—“ Her voice caught in her throat. “Should I tell her who I am? Should I keep it a secret? Should I just leave? I don’t want to bring back any bad memories or make her—“
"You have till Sunday."
Makayla blinked. ”What?"
"You have until Sunday to come clean. Tell her. Everything. Or I will. And trust me, you don't want me to do it."
“No. Wait. Trey. Listen—”
"Get out of my car."
Stunned, Makayla put her hand on the handle, but didn’t open the door. This couldn’t be happening. He always understood her. Always. Why couldn’t he understand her now, when she needed him most?
"Don't you remember—“
"I'm not going to ask you again." Trey stared ahead, his jaw so tight, she could see the muscles straining.
Despite being seated, Makayla felt lightheaded and tightened her grip on the door handle. She needed someone to help her. She couldn’t make the wrong decision. Not again. Not after she’d already made so many. But she finally got the message. However much help she might need, she wasn’t going to get it from Trey.
Chapter 26
Makayla's grandmother had an expression she sometimes used when she thought Makayla was out of earshot: Sweatin' like a whore in church.
Of course, Makayla didn't have a clue what it meant, but because using the word “whore” was the closest she'd ever heard her grandmother come to swearing, she thought it was hilar
ious.
Turned out it wasn't so funny when Makayla was the one doing the sweating.
It started with the so-called christening.
On the way to church, Robin mentioned there would be one to officially mark the day she became Makayla’s godmother. Makayla assumed it’d be some little private thing in Pastor Thomas’ office. He’d say a few words, do a little prayer and they'd be done.
Wrong.
It was a full-out ceremony.
During the service, right before he introduced the guest speaker, Pastor Thomas motioned at their pew and said, "If you ladies would join me..." While Makayla looked back, wondering who he was talking to, Robin grabbed her hand and pulled her up. Then Pastor Thomas announced to the congregation they were about to take part in a somewhat unusual christening ceremony.
Makayla saw a few people exchange confused glances, but that was nothing compared to the icy stare she received from Trey or the disgusted look Shauna gave her from where she sat in the soprano section of the choir stand.
Robin didn't notice any of it. She stood there, just as happy as could be, literally glowing in her white and silver embroidered suit and hat.
Pastor Thomas read from a well-worn little book and had Robin promise before God to do right by Makayla and always guide her in the direction of the cross. If that meant Robin was supposed to help her stay on the straight and narrow, Makayla was pretty sure that ship had sailed.
She hoped he didn't ask her to say anything because she was certain making a promise before God in a house of worship was going to be the final push that sent her on a slow fall to hell. Thankfully, she didn't have to do anything but stand there.
Next, he called the mothers of the church to come and lay hands on them. They were joined by the guest speaker for that Sunday, an Evangelist Adeline Fleury. Evangelist Fleury stood directly in front of Makayla and looked at her as if she knew her. It made Makayla uncomfortable enough to immediately close her eyes and act like she was feeling the presence of God.
But when they finished praying and she opened her eyes, the woman was still there. She hugged Makayla and whispered in her ear, "You ought to know God loves you, because He sent me clear across the country just to give you a word." Makayla waited for the ‘word,’ but the woman just patted her on the arm and returned to her seat.
Nobody’s Child (New Life Tabernacle Series Book 1) Page 13