It's Only Temporary

by Jamie Pearson

  ‘NOW!’ he screamed. ‘I won’t ask you again.’

  Starting to feel frightened I did as he said, I needed to keep calm and explain whilst ensuring they were able to understand I was simply trying to help.

  ‘Listen, I think there has been a misunderstanding.’

  ‘Oh yeah?’ he said as he advanced towards me hand still extended. His colleague was examining the bag I had placed on the sofa.

  ‘Yeah, I live down stairs. I just came to investigate the noise.’

  ‘Really? So why are you carrying a bag full of tools?’ the second one said.

  ‘I wasn’t.’

  ‘We saw you,’ the first one said, as he did so the second one pulled a silver picture frame from the bag.

  ‘Right, hands behind your back!’ the first one ordered.

  ‘I just picked it up to move it, I stubb…’ I never finished my sentence. I had unconsciously pointed at the bag as I spoke, as a result the first officer reacted by spraying something into my eyes. The pain felt like I was having them gouged out with hot pokers. I dropped to my knees with my hands over them and let out a scream, I was vaguely aware that my hands were then being moved behind my back as the first officer said something about “suspicion of going equipped to commit a burglary”. However I was incapable of responding in any way other than a sob.

  Eyes still streaming I was effectively blind as well as handcuffed; they led me to what I assumed was a police car waiting outside. Another voice then seemed to be in the back of the car with me; he was much calmer and advised me that he was going to wash my eyes with water. Once done he asked if I was ‘Ok?’

  ‘No, of course not! I go to the aid of a friend and end up being blinded for my trouble!’

  Gradually my vision was coming back and I could make out his outline, he said ‘Well we will sort this out down at the station.’ The station? Why on earth would I want catch a train? Then I realised he meant the police station, good God, I was being arrested!

  By the time we reached the police station I could see fairly well and was brooding on the indignity of it all. Someone was going to pay for this outrage that was for sure. I was taken into an area where a large gruff sergeant was standing behind an elevated counter. He asked me for my details then turned to the two officers who had entered the flat.

  ‘Arrested for?’

  ‘Suspicion of burglary and going equipped.’

  ‘I was not! I….’

  ‘Will be shutting up now!’ the sergeant finished for me. ‘If you know what is best, am I going to have trouble with you pal?’

  ‘No,’ I said feeling thoroughly humiliated.

  ‘Good.’

  ‘Belt?’ he asked.

  ‘Pardon?’

  ‘Do you have a belt?’

  Looking down at my shorts I said ‘Obviously not.’

  ‘Don’t try and be smart! I have to ask everyone the same questions.’

  ‘Watch?’

  ‘Watch what?’

  ‘Do you have a watch?’

  ‘I don’t know my hands are fastened behind my back,’ I said truthfully.

  ‘That’s your last warning Sonny.’

  Sonny? How would he feel if I called him Granddad I wondered? I elected not to find out. One of the officers had a quick look and shook his head.

  ‘Shoe laces?’

  I looked down at my bare feet, ‘No.’

  ‘Wallet, phone, anything like that?’

  ‘No.’

  I was “processed” which meant having my photo taken by a friendly young man who advised me that he could not “force” me to give a DNA swab but “they could”, indicating the two arresting officers. Having been nearly blinded for simply pointing at a bag I elected to give my consent. Then I was seen by a doctor who confidently proclaimed that ‘You will live’, I was more worried about my eyesight than my survival.

  After this I was placed in a cell and left for a few hours, I was appalled to see that the stainless steel toilet not only had no lid but was in full few of the security camera. I was being treated like a common criminal.

  Gradually I became aware of two things, it was getting lighter, although I was not sure if this was my eyes recovering or not and that I was hungry, very hungry in fact. Periodically the small eyehole flap would open and close again but then at one point a small hatch slid back, a voice asked ‘Breakfast?’

  I had no idea how this worked and asked the most logical question I could, ‘Is it free?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Ok, yes please.’ A plastic tray slid through the door with a couple of mouthfuls of what I assumed was meant to be scrambled egg and a slice of toast. Was that it? As I looked down at it I asked ‘Can I have two?’ The flap slammed shut.

  A short while later I was removed from my cell and taken to an interview room where my two arresting officers and a man in a suit, who it turned out was my appointed legal counsel, were waiting for me. ‘So Marcus,’ the older one said. ‘How are your eyes?’

  His matter of fact friendly tone resulted in a sense of indignation in me, ‘Sore and I’m going to sue you,’ I told him.

  ‘I see, for what exactly?’

  ‘Assault, grievous harm, whatever my legal team feel appropriate.’ I said inclining my head to my lawyer who made no overt reaction at all.

  ‘Ok, well I had best advise you that you were at the time being arrested and you failed to comply with a direct instruction, so technically I was acting in self-defence.’

  ‘Self Defence? I was pointing at a bag!’

  ‘But you heard me tell you to put your hands behind you head and keep them there didn’t you?’

  ‘Yes, but…’

  ‘So simply put you have admitted to failing to follow the instructions of the arresting officer, namely me, which of course will be corroborated by the eye witness present.’

  ‘Witness?’

  ‘Me,’ the other one said.

  ‘Well that……sucks,’ was the only word I could muster, an expression I had heard Alfie say but was not clear to its exact meaning. However I was aware that it implied negative connotations which seemed apt at that time.

  ‘Now then,’ the pepper sprayer continued. ‘You understand why you were arrested?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Well, I and my colleague responded to the alarm signal. When we arrived we found you equipped with a bag of tools which also contained an expensive picture frame. Anything you would like to let us know?’

  ‘Oh yes! I was trying to let you know at the time but was interrupted by your attempt to blind me. I live in the flat below, the alarm woke me up and I went to investigate. I stubbed my toe on the bag in the dark so picked it up to move it, that’s when you two arrived.’

  There was a knock at the door and he left for a moment to speak to someone, I looked at my lawyer to see if he had any suggestions but I was not sure if her was awake or not. The officer returned and sat down.

  ‘Yes,’ he said.

  Yes? What does that mean?

  ‘Yes what?’

  ‘Yes it’s time for a break.’

  I was led back to my cell and feeling quite demoralised plonked myself down on the bench that doubled as a bed. A few minutes later I was returned to the room which was exactly how I had left it other than the fact that my lawyer had now been replaced by a cup of tea. A potentially fair trade I thought to myself.

  ‘So Marcus, I’d like to go through some photos with you if that’s ok?’

  ‘Do I have a choice?’

  They looked at each other, ‘Are you declining to help?’ the second one said.

  ‘No,’ I sighed.

  We proceeded to review a large stack of photos in order to attempt to ascertain if I was in any of them.

  ‘Is that you?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘This one?’

  ‘No, I don’t have a beard.’

  ‘You could have shaved it off?’

  ‘Or a tattoo on my face.’

  ‘T
his one?’

  ‘Is a woman.’

  ‘How about this one?’

  ‘He is about ten, I am thirty four.’

  ‘This one?’

  ‘Is a gold fish!’ They apologised for that one.

  Eventually we decided that I was not in fact in any of the photos they had shown me.

  ‘Ok, Marcus. Thanks, you are free to go.’

  I was not expecting that ‘Is that it? Do I have to come back?’

  ‘Er no, the owner of the flat was slightly inebriated and set off his own alarm. Once roused he identified the bag as belonging to a plumber he has employed, the photo is the plumbers as well. It seems he takes it everywhere to show his customers, it is of his grandchildren. He is very proud apparently.’

  ‘So that’s it?’

  ‘Err yep. Thanks for your time.’

  Chapter 19.

  In what seemed like a matter of moments I was once again at the front desk, by now it was eight o’clock in the morning, I was in my shorts and t -shirt bare feet and a fairly long way from home.

  ‘Anything to be retrieved?’ the replacement desk sergeant asked my now ever so attentive guides, she was altogether more pleasant than the one who had been there upon my arrival.

  ‘No Iris, as he is,’ pepper spray responded. ‘Well Marcus, thanks for your help, take care.’

  Take care? The brazenness of this guy was astounding, I considered giving him a piece of my mind, ‘You too,’ I said to his back as he walked away.

  ‘So love, how you getting home?’ Iris asked me.

  ‘Err walking I guess?’

  She looked down at my feet sceptically, and then checked something on the screen in front of her. ‘Eight miles, in bare feet in you’re under wear on a Saturday morning? You’d get picked up and brought back as a suspected nut case before you got there! Is there no one you can call to come and get you?’

  The only name I could give was Stacy’s, Iris narrowed her eyes at me for a moment and then made the call. I could only hear one side of the conversation.

  ‘Hello, is that Stacy?’

  ‘Hi, are you by any chance the Stacy from Silverdale day centre?’

  Now my eyes narrowed, Iris was aware of Stacy and the centre I was not sure if this was a good thing or a bad. Neither, more embarrassing as it turned out.

  ‘Hi ya luv! This is Iris, Dan’s Mum.’

  This revelation took me by surprise, then I realised that it was almost certain that as a result Dan would know of my escapade and thus the rest of the centre. The thought of which caused me to feel cold, how on earth could I face everyone after this? I then realised that surely Iris was confined by a confidentiality clause.

  ‘Listen I am calling from the police station.’

  ‘No, no it’s not Dan, I work here! Does the name Marcus mean anything to you?’

  ‘Oh nothing, it was a case of mistaken identity. But the poor lamb is standing here bare foot in his underwear.’

  She held the receiver away from her ear and I could hear Stacy’s laughter, after a moment she listened again.

  ‘What? Oh going equipped for a burglary. They didn’t seem to consider he was a bit underdressed for the part!’ more raucous laughter followed. So no confidentiality issues then it seemed, Iris was not done yet though. ‘Bless him I think he is hungry, he amused the custody suite guys by asking if breakfast was free and then if he could have two!’ At this point Iris herself was laughing, was nothing sacred?

  Finally she managed to ask ‘Can you come and get him luv? Ok, I’ll ask him.’ Looking at me she said, ‘Stacy will come on one condition.’

  ‘What’s that?’

  ‘You have to do whatever she says this weekend.’

  Oh for crying out loud, blackmail? ‘Oh whatever,’ I said

  ‘Deal,’ she said back into the phone. ‘That’s great, oh by the way he looks a bit like a Panda!’

  A Panda?

  I sat in the police station reception and managed to sneak a peak of myself in a window reflection, I had huge red circles around my eyes, Panda was a fairly accurate analogy. Stacy arrived and pulled up outside, as I walked to towards Dolly I could hear her start laughing all over again. This continued as we started driving, eventually she calmed down enough to say ‘Look come to my house, you can crash on the sofa with some frozen peas on your eyes, at least that way I know your safe.’

  I did not fancy spending the day at Stacy’s house in my under wear so insisted we stop off and collect my clothes, I briefly considered calling on Alfie but decided I did not have the physical or emotional strength for It.

  Back at Stacy’s house I asked where Max was, ‘Play date with his friend until tomorrow,’ she told me. ‘That means tonight you are mine!’

  ‘I don’t follow.’

  ‘You agreed to do whatever I said remember?’

  ‘Yessss?’ I said worried now.

  ‘We are going out tonight.’

  ‘Where?’

  ‘Get some rest, I will tell you later.’

  Too tired and emotionally bruised to argue I agreed. She told me she was off out shopping and maybe to get her hair done so I would be left in peace for a few hours. She made me some breakfast and then left, once she was gone I hit the shower, I was anticipating the pleasant change of a warm shower but the water seemed to react with my eyes again and I found myself sitting on the toilet weeping. I was not sure if it was my eyes watering from the irritation of that I was crying from the pain.

  Taking deep breath I deliberately washed my eyes out under the shower and eventually the pain started to subside. Feeling exhausted I flopped onto the sofa and fell asleep.

  Chapter 20.

  The next thing I knew Stacy was shaking me awake, as I gained consciousness I could see she was offering me a drink of tea, in a real cup my mind was able to register. I gratefully took a few sips but noticed Stacy watching me intently.

  ‘What’s the matter, why are you staring? Is it my eyes?’

  ‘What? Oh no, it’s just that I didn’t have any Earl Grey, or Lemon for that matter.’

  I looked down at me cup and realised I was drinking builders tea; despite this I was actually grateful for the drink.

  ‘Is it nice?’

  ‘I wouldn’t go that as far as to say nice, but it is enjoyable shall we say.’

  She smiled at this, ’I’ll turn you into a normal person yet I swear! Resistance is Futile as they say.’

  ‘Who say?’

  ‘The Borg.’

  ‘As in the tennis player?’

  ‘Noo! As in Star Trek, y’know? The Borg?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘I give up! Drink your tea and shut up.’

  I did as I was told.

  Once I had checked my reflection in the mirror I was gratified to see that the redness had all but gone, I looked distinctly un-panda like I decided.

  ‘You look gorgeous,’ Stacy said sarcastically. ‘You ready for our big night?’

  ‘Hmmm, maybe if you tell me what we are doing?’

  ‘Socialising.’

  ‘Not another night club?’

  ‘Nope.’

  ‘What then?’

  ‘Wait and see.’

  A few hours later we parked Dolly and made our way towards a local sports centre, ‘I am a little over dressed for sports,’ I said.

  ‘Ah, I told you it would be more cerebral.’

  ‘And less sweaty,’ I reminded her.

  ‘That too.’

  Feeling slightly puzzled I tried to scan the events board as we walked past but there was too much information to process in such a short period of time. We entered a small gym that had row after row of single desks laid out as if there was going to be an examination.

  ‘Are we sitting a test?’

  ‘Nope.’

  Totally bewildered I searched for some indication of what event was taking place, there was nothing. Noticing that each desk had two chairs facing each other I tried, ‘Chess?’

  S
he smiled and shook her head. Gradually other people started to file into the room and eventually a lady who was obviously the organiser attempted to get everyone’s attention. She introduced herself as Rebecca and indicated a man who was with her as being John.

  ‘John will now ensure we aren’t disturbed,’ she said with great solemnity as he made a big show of placing a do not disturb sign over the door. ‘Your privacy will be respected and your discretion expected,’ she announced in what seemed like a well-worn catch phrase.

  I was completely lost as to what was happening, looking at Stacy but she just smiled and winked at me.

  ‘Ok,’ Rebecca called. Gentlemen if you could find a seat and remain in it, ladies you will move numerically from desk to desk. Four minutes at a time.’

  What an earth was going on?

  ‘Ok,’ Rebecca continued. ‘Let’s speed date!’

  Oh my god!

  Chapter 21.

  I glared at Stacy who just shrugged in response, I then whispered in her ear, ‘Speed dating! Are you mad?’

  ‘I didn’t want to come on my own, Mel dropped out at the last minute so I checked with the organisers and they were happy to have you. Men are scarce it seems.’

  ‘For good reason!’ I hissed back.

  With no other option open to me I sat down at a table selecting the one at the end of the first row closest to the door. To my left was a man about my age who looked like he had walked straight out of a male model fashion shoot. He became aware that I was watching him and extended his hand, ‘Frankie, first time?’

  Initially I thought he was referring to the fact that he had a bizarre surname then I realised it was a question. ‘Yeah. Marcus. First and last,’ I said as we shook. He just smiled at that.

  This morning in a cell, this evening in hell, I thought to myself.

  Rebecca announced that the ladies should “go first” for two minutes followed by the gentlemen, after this there is one minute of “open chat”,’ whatever that was. Then she informed us that the ‘First round’ should begin, I half expected to hear a bell ring but instead a lady sat down in front of me.

  She was slightly younger than I was and sharp featured which had the effect of making her quite pretty in a harsh sort of a way.