Songbird

by Josephine Cox

  “None of it was your fault,” she told Maddy. “You went away because he was giving you a difficult time and you needed to think. And I accepted his offer because I was not told what had happened between the two of you. I don’t believe we had any part in what happened between those two. It was always on the cards that at some time or another, they would face each other; two bad people wanting what the other had.”

  But Maddy seemed not to have heard. With wide, shocked eyes she stared straight ahead, unseeing, her mind shattered with the terrible news.

  Mortified at having deceived Maddy in such a cruel way, Ellen had to remind herself of how Alice had known Maddy far better and longer than she had. And if Alice was so desperate for Maddy to be told this untruth, it must be for the girl’s safety, and that of her unborn child.

  And so, Ellen consoled herself with the belief that she had done this for the best reasons. Maddy was beside herself with grief at the moment, but in time she would get through it and survive. For survival was what all this was about.

  Either way, it was done, and there was no going back.

  And with that thought in mind, Ellen felt oddly comforted.

  It was a long, lonely night for Maddy, and even though Ellen was in the room next door, waking at Maddy’s every move, the knowledge that Alice and Jack were both gone had left the young woman distraught beyond belief.

  Hour after unquiet hour, the questions rampaged through Maddy’s tortured mind. Was it somehow her fault? Or was Ellen right, when she had said that none of us have any control over what happens?

  Yes, that was it. And hadn’t she seen it in her own life so far – that no matter how much we fight and struggle, life sweeps us along, whether we like it or not?

  But what about the new life inside her – a life for which she alone was now responsible? How could she ever take care of that tiny mite, without work, or even a place to call her own?

  Placing the palm of her hand on her abdomen, she murmured, “I’ll take care of you, my baby. Whatever happens, your mammy will always put you first; always keep you safe.”

  It was a daunting prospect, but Maddy had been through many trials in her thirty years. This was simply one more.

  The most important one of all.

  Nine

  As morning broke the skies, Maddy remained resolute. There were urgent matters to be attended to, and decisions to be made. None of them easy, but all necessary.

  Hearing Ellen moving about downstairs, and smelling the delicous aroma of bacon, she quickly washed and dressed and made her way down to the kitchen. It seemed odd, being here in a strange house, with someone she had known for such a short time yet with whom she had so quickly bonded.

  For now though, all she could think of was Alice… and Jack; both kind and good, both murdered, simply because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

  As she entered the kitchen, Ellen was there, looking tired and worried. “Maddy!” Rushing forward, she wrapped her arms about her. “How are you feeling? Did you manage to get some sleep?”

  “Sort of…” Maddy gave a half-smile. With Alice gone, she wondered if she would ever sleep contentedly again.

  Ellen walked with her to the table; she had seen the dark circles under Maddy’s eyes and she noticed how Maddy occasionally clenched her fists, as though warding off an attacker. There was no doubt in Ellen’s mind that the news she had so cruelly imparted to Maddy, had scarred her deeply.

  “Look, come and sit down and have some breakfast,” she urged her friend. “I can see that you haven’t had much sleep. I daresay you’re still in a state of shock. Food and drink should help.”

  “Thank you.” Maddy needed to talk with her, “Afterward, there’s something I have to tell you.” She knew Ellen would be appalled at what she was about to say. But she had a debt to pay. She owed Alice that much.

  Ellen told her that she had been out to the corner shop to buy in some food. She had fried up some bacon and mushrooms, and there was a pile of hot buttered toast and a freshly brewed pot of tea. When they were each seated and were tucking into their meal, Maddy explained what was playing on her mind.

  “Alice was divorced, and there are no children or close relatives, except for an elderly half-sister who passed on some two years back.”

  “What are you getting at?” Ellen asked, pouring them both a second cuppa.

  Maddy hesitated; it all seemed so unreal. “What I’m saying is, someone…” When her voice began shaking with emotion, she composed herself before going on. “Someone has to make sure Alice is put to rest.” She stopped to wipe the tears from her eyes.

  Realizing that Maddy must have thought long and hard about this, Ellen simply listened and made no comment. Outwardly calm, inwardly her brain was working overtime as she wondered frantically how to cope with this new challenge. It was understandable that Maddy felt the need to take on such a responsibility. Alice had been her closest and dearest friend, and because Maddy was a warm and loving human being, she would see organizing the funeral as her bounden duty.

  “Someone has to take care of everything,” Maddy insisted, “and if I don’t do it, who will?”

  “So, you’re doing it because you believe there is no one else, is that it?” Ellen asked, seizing on this.

  “That’s part of it, yes.” Then there was that deep-down need, to gaze at Alice’s face, in the undertaker’s parlor, for the very last time.

  “Maddy?”

  “Yes?”

  “If you thought there was someone else who would make the arrangements, would you think again?”

  “I might – I don’t know. But there isn’t anyone.”

  “What about Raymond?” Before Maddy could say anything, Ellen went on, “From what I saw in the short time I was at the Pink Lady, it was obvious that Raymond adored her. Alice knew it too. In fact, I got the feeling that she was learning to love him back. Jack said, they were always chatting and laughing, and you know how shy Ray is. He was confident with her. They were two old friends who were getting closer with every day that passed. I bet the poor man is gutted.”

  Maddy too had witnessed the growing affection between Alice and Raymond; though whenever she mentioned it to Alice, the woman would laugh it off. But Alice’s denials had only served to make Maddy more curious.

  “You’re right about Raymond,” she admitted to Ellen. “I’ve always known he was besotted with her. But I was never sure about her feelings.”

  “But you did have suspicions, didn’t you?”

  Maddy nodded slowly. “Yes, that’s true, I did.”

  “So, given another few months or so, Raymond might well have taken Alice for his wife?”

  “It’s possible.” Maddy found the idea both comforting and sad.

  “So, why don’t you give Raymond the choice?” Ellen gently persisted. “Why don’t we ask him if he would like to take on this final duty?”

  “I don’t know, Ellen. I’m not sure if it’s the right thing to do.”

  “Look, Maddy, I know you and Alice were close friends, and you loved her fondly,” Ellen acknowledged. “But Raymond seems to have loved her in a different way, not so much as a friend but a sweetheart. And I believe, if he’d had the courage to ask her to be his wife, Alice would probably have said yes.”

  Maddy smiled at that. “Yes, all right, I know what you’re saying,” she conceded. “But I feel I owe it to her to make sure she’s laid to her rest with dignity.”

  “So, you don’t feel that Raymond would want the same?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  Taking a deep breath, Ellen played her last trump card. “Don’t you think Alice would rather you kept your promise to her?”

  Struggling with her conscience, Maddy remained silent.

  “You don’t always keep your promises, Maddy – that’s what you told me. So, when Alice begged you to save yourself and the baby, and you gave her your word, did you never mean to keep that promise either?”

  Mor
tified when she saw the tears flowing down Maddy’s face, she almost relented. Instead, she deliberately hardened herself against weakening, because this was a fight she had to win. For all their sakes.

  “I intend keeping my promise,” Maddy said brokenly, “but not until she’s properly laid to rest.”

  “That’s not good enough.” Ellen was dogged. “It’s not what Alice would have wanted, and you know it! She wanted you and the baby to be miles away from here, out of harm’s reach. Don’t fool yourself that Drayton will wait for Alice to be laid to rest before he sets the hounds on you!” She leaned forward, her voice softening, “Listen to me, Maddy, if you were to go against what she wanted, the promise you gave would be empty and cruel. And you might as well never have made it.”

  There followed a long intense moment, during which Maddy searched her soul. She still found it hard to believe that Alice was gone, that never again would she and Alice sit and plan, and grumble about everything and nothing, and when one of them needed a friend, the other would always be there, helping and supporting.

  And it wasn’t simply the hard facts of arranging a funeral. No, it was more than that. She longed to look at Alice’s face one more time, to hold the moment in her heart and take it with her wherever she went.

  She told Ellen as much now.

  Ellen understood and was gentle. “I can understand how much you want to see her… to keep her image in your heart and mind. But oh Maddy, wouldn’t it be better if your lasting memories were of the two of you together, chatting over a drink and putting the world to rights, and looking out for each other, like friends do. Wouldn’t they be far lovelier memories to keep?”

  Another long span of silence, while Maddy contemplated Ellen’s wise words. Maybe she was right, after all. “What if Raymond doesn’t want to do it?”

  “We won’t know if we don’t ask him.” Ellen was relieved. “Let me contact him. See what he says.”

  “And if he says yes, he’ll need money. I have some rainy-day savings put away – not a fortune, but it’s his if he needs it.”

  Ellen nodded. “I also have rainy-day savings,” she offered, “but first, we need to know what Raymond has to say.”

  With all that in mind and for obvious reasons, Ellen knew she had to approach Raymond before Maddy got to him. Although it did make her anxious, because she knew he would be shocked at what she had to tell him.

  An hour later, after going through their plan, Maddy gave Ellen the phone number that would take her straight to the desk at the Pink Lady.

  Ellen had suggested she should be the one to speak with him first. “It might be best if I was to ring the club,” she said. “Whoever answers the phone would recognize your voice far easier than they would mine,” and Maddy had to agree.

  It was early afternoon at the Pink Lady. The club had been closed for twenty-four hours after the shootings, but then the police had given permission for it to be reopened. From prison, Steve Drayton had instructed his accountants to take temporary management of the place.

  Raymond sat against the bar, talking with Ted, the older barman. “They still won’t let me see her at the hospital,” he said gloomily. “They say she’s doing well, but that she can’t have visitors just yet.”

  “And are the police still guarding her?” The older man had been rocked to his roots by what had happened the other night. He still couldn’t get used to Jack not being there.

  Raymond nodded. “It would seem so.”

  “So, d’you know when she’ll be allowed home?”

  “Nope!” Raising his head, Raymond looked straight at the other man. “I’m just so glad that she’s alive. But I’ll tell you this, Ted. When Alice does come out, I’ll be there for her, every minute of the day. She’ll not have to lift a finger, I’ll see to that.”

  The other man smiled. “You’ve been sweet on her a long time, ain’t you, matey?”

  Raymond nodded affirmatively. “Longer than that,” he said proudly.

  “And who can blame you,” Ted kindly remarked. “She’s a good woman.” He dared to speak further. “Why have you never asked her out?”

  “Hmh.” Lately, Raymond had suffered regrets over that very thing. “Somehow there was never the right time,” he answered regretfully. “But then I never could tell if she liked me enough. I was scared that if I did ask her and she turned me down, my chance would be gone for good.”

  Ted knew different. “If you’d asked her, she would never have turned you down, take it from me.”

  Raymond’s face lit up. “D’you reckon?”

  “I know it.”

  How d’you know it?”

  With a teasing grin on his face, the barman tapped his nose. “That’s for me to know, and you to find out.”

  Raymond would not let it go. “I promised I’d swap tomorrow’s late shift with you,” he said, “but I don’t think I can do it now. Sorry, Ted.”

  “You can’t do that to me!” Ted protested. “I’ve promised the wife I’d take her somewhere special. It’s our anniversary, you can’t let me down now. Oh, come on, Ray! I’ve booked a room at that hotel she likes, the one up near Marble Arch.”

  Raymond waved a hand. “Sorry. No can do.”

  Ted groaned. “All right, all right.” He scratched his head. “Alice asked me never to tell you, but…” He paused, thinking how she would tear him off a strip, if ever she found out he’d betrayed her confidence.

  Raymond grew impatient. “Well?”

  “All right! Alice always had the idea that you fancied her, and-”

  “For God’s sake, man! Spit it out, will you?”

  “Well, she said that she fancied you an’ all. Only she was too shy to tell you. D’you remember when we had the last Christmas do here?”

  “Yes.” Raymond was almost hopping with excitement.

  “Alice had a sprig of mistletoe in her pocket all night… said she was waiting for the right opportunity. There! You know now, don’t you? But you must never let on that it was me who told you.”

  “What! Alice fancies me? Oh Ted!” As Raymond grabbed him by the shoulders and was about to hug him, the sound of the telephone ringing in the background caused him to let go.

  “I’ll answer that.” Having feared that Raymond was about to leap over the bar at him, Ted felt the need to escape.

  “No, it’s all right.” Raymond rushed to the desk. “It might be news of my Alice,” he said, with a grin on his face a mile wide. “Leave it to me.”

  Stifling his excitement, he picked up the receiver. “Pink Lady Cabaret Bar. Can I help you?”

  “I’d like to speak with Raymond Baker, please.”

  “This is Raymond Baker.” His heart dropped a mile as he feared the news might be bad.

  Having deluded Maddy into believing that it might be safer if she was to go outside and use a public phone-booth, in case Steve had somehow got her phone tapped, Ellen said hurriedly “Raymond, it’s me – Ellen. You remember? I was the new singer at the club.”

  When he acknowledged her, she asked, “Can you talk? Is there anyone within hearing distance?”

  She waited a moment before Raymond checked. “No. But what’s wrong?” Horror shook his voice. “It’s not Alice, is it? Please God… tell me it’s not Alice.”

  “No, she is doing all right. We’ve seen her and she is on the road to recovery. Just listen to me, Raymond, and don’t be too upset by what I’m about to say.” Ellen took a deep breath, then went on: “Like I said, Alice is going to be okay. Drayton puts the blame down to Maddy for what happened. I have her here with me and she’s in fear for her life. I’m not sure if you know, but she’s carrying his child, which he refuses to accept. He thinks she and some bloke are trying to stitch him up. He’s made a threat, to track her down and kill her.”

  “The man’s mad!” Raymond had assumed that Maddy was miles away from the alley when it all sparked off. Now though, he was worried. “If Drayton has his sights set on her, she’s as good as finished. The
re’ll be no escape; it won’t matter that he’s up for murder, he’ll find a way. His sort always do.” He lowered his voice. “Where is she now?”

  “She’s with me.”

  “Get her away then… somewhere safe. As soon as you can.” He sounded frantic.

  “I mean to.”

  “Alice doesn’t know about any of this, does she?”

  “Yes. You see, Maddy was there, in the alley holding Alice after she was wounded. They both heard Drayton issue the threat.” She wondered how to tell him. “Raymond, there’s something else – something Alice said. It’s the real reason I rang you.”

  “You mean you’ve spoken with Alice?” The big man became excited. “They wouldn’t let me near her. No visitors yet, they said.”

  “No, we haven’t been able to speak with her either. Maddy was all for going to the hospital, but I thought it was too dangerous, so I got an old friend of mine to talk with Alice.”

  As Ray listened carefully to what she had to say, Ellen explained, “Her name is Connie. She cleans the wards there, in the post-surgical part, and by sheer luck, she managed to see Alice, just for a matter of minutes, that’s all. No, listen – please. Oh, damn!” Quickly dropping another coin into the slot, she told him everything.

  “Alice is beside herself with worry. She told my friend that Maddy must be deceived into believing she had not survived, that they had not been able to save her. It must have been a hard thing for her to ask, but as I’ve already had the devil of a job trying to dissuade Maddy from going to the hospital, I’m sure Alice did the right thing. She obviously knows her better than anyone so, may God forgive me, I told Maddy what Alice wanted her to believe.”

  For a while, Raymond made no response. And then, in a quiet voice he told Ellen that yes, Alice did know Maddy better than anyone, and yes, to his mind also, she had done the right thing. “Alice loves her like a daughter, and however much she might want her near, her only concern would have been for Maddy, and the child.”