Songbird

by Josephine Cox

  “I trust you, don’t I?”

  “Obviously. But as far as you know, it could be yet another catastrophe. And while I’ve known and loved my grandad all my life, to you he’s just a stranger.”

  Ellen couldn’t help but wonder how she herself might cope: having no family whatsoever, meeting up with a man like Drayton, being beaten and abused and made with child, then have him reject you both so callously. Then there was the ordeal of watching her two dearest friends shot down in cold blood. And now, being torn away to travel miles from her home, with practically only the clothes she stood up in.

  Laying it bare like that, Ellen truly believed that if it was her in Maddy’s shoes, she might well have cracked up before now. But who could tell? Who could predict what Fate has in store, and whether or not we will have the strength of mind to cope with it all?

  As Maddy had not yet answered her question, Ellen put it again. “Are you okay with us coming up here, Maddy?”

  Maddy took a second to think, then said, “Yes, I’m okay, and I’m very grateful to you for taking me under your wing.” She had never leaned on anyone in her life – not even on Alice. But the recent sequence of events had taken a terrible toll on her. She felt isolated and lonely. Moreover, try as she might, she could see no real future. Today was a hurried and temporary measure. But where she might go from here and what lay ahead, she had no idea.

  On the train she had tried to get her thoughts together, to make some kind of plan. But by the time they reached Blackpool, she was as unsure as ever. Heartsore and deeply shaken at losing both Jack and Alice, there was little else she could think of right now and, in her heart of hearts, she knew it would take a long time to come to terms with everything.

  On the other hand, sitting quiet on the train, steeped in thought and with the rhythmic throb of the engine lulling her fears, she was made to think about her child. And as the miles had sped away, the burden of what she had left behind seemed to somehow lift from her shoulders.

  At first, when she absentmindedly gazed out of the window, nothing interested her. It was just a journey, a strange and frightening journey she had never wanted to make. Then, so slowly she had hardly noticed, she found herself soaking in the landscape and appreciating the beauty of God’s world all about her. With appreciation came a deep sense of calm, and a quiet murmur of hope. It was a small, but comforting thing.

  Interrupting her thoughts, Ellen now told Maddy, “Who knows? Coming away from the nightclub scene could be the best thing in the world, for both of us. As long as we can keep singing, that is! I hope you like Blackpool, Maddy. It’s so different from London.”

  “It’s always been on my mind to come up here and see the sights, but somehow I never did,” Maddy replied. “So, what can I expect?”

  Ellen chuckled. “When it’s cold, you’ll shiver to your roots, and when it’s windy, you can hardly stand up straight. If it’s cold and windy, you’ll likely be picked up and frozen in midair.”

  Maddy laughed out loud. “It’s not that bad, surely?”

  “Can be, yes. That’s why it’s almost deserted in the winter, save for a few brave souls, come to see our famous Illuminations.”

  “And in the summer?”

  “Ah, now that’s different.” Ellen loved Blackpool, whatever the season. “In the summer it’s noisy and you can barely find a table in the cafés. There are groups of bare-chested blokes strutting down the street, fancying their chances with every girl that comes along. You’ll find an ice cream parlor and a pub round every corner, with theaters and amusement arcades everywhere you look. And I’m going to leave you to discover the amazing Tower for yourself: I won’t say a word!”

  Seeing the line of cabs waiting, she ushered Maddy toward the queue. “There’s nowhere else like Blackpool in the whole wide world,” she sighed happily. “Whenever you’re feeling low, all you have to do is take a ride in a horse-carriage and clip-clop along the front to the Pleasure Beach, or climb onto a tram and let yourself be taken back in time…” Then, realizing she had gone all sentimental, she swiftly changed her tone. “Honestly, Maddy, it really is so amazing! And oh, how I’ve missed it while I’ve been away.”

  “If you love it so much, why did you ever leave?” Maddy asked. She had seen the look on Ellen’s face, and heard the love in her voice as she talked of her beloved Blackpool, and it made her curious.

  Ellen explained, “Like many another starry-eyed girl, I left it because I wanted to see the world and make a career in show business. Sometimes though, the world is right there on your doorstep, and you don’t even realize.”

  Maddy leaned forward. “You had a special boyfriend here, didn’t you?”

  Ellen looked at her in surprise. “How did you know?”

  “Because I saw the expression on your face just now.” Maddy did not want to pry, but had to ask all the same. “What happened to him?”

  Ellen gave a wry little laugh. “Oh, he went off with the boss’s daughter. You see, he was always ambitious, and her father owned half the rides on the Pleasure Beach. Naturally, he saw himself as the future owner. So, you see, she had more to offer than me.”

  “Do you miss him?”

  “Not likely!” But that was a white lie, spoken in defense. The real truth was, even now, Ellen still cherished the memories the two of them had shared together.

  A few moments later, it was their turn to get inside a taxi and, at Ellen’s request, the driver took them along the promenade. “It’s too early in the year for the lights to be switched on,” he told them, “but even when they’re not lit, they make a splendid sight. The normal period for them to be switched on is the end of August until the first week in November. Will you ladies still be here then?”

  “We might be,” Ellen answered cautiously.

  Maddy was thrilled to see every street lamp along the four or five miles, beautifully decorated with shapes of Disney characters, each and every one peppered with colored bulbs. “How wonderful!” she kept saying. “How amazing!”

  “Hah! I can tell you’re a newcomer to Blackpool, young lady!” Born and bred in this fun town, the driver was proud to call it home. “But I promise you this, if you’ve never seen Blackpool Illuminations all lit up at night, you’ve never seen anything! There’s nowhere else like it in the whole wide world.”

  When, a few minutes later, they turned away from the seafront and into Ackerman Street, the driver asked for the door number. “It’s number eight – the fourth house after the ice cream parlor.” While Ellen directed him, Maddy dug into her purse for the fare.

  “And don’t forget to go on the Big Dipper,” the driver said as he waited for them to disembark. “It’s one hell of a ride, and I should know, because I’ve been on it more times than I’ve had hot dinners.” He gave a gruff laugh. “Not willingly, I might add. The thing is, I’ve got four kids; they’re all mad for the funfair, and they won’t go on without me.”

  “I’ve been on it just the once,” Ellen admitted, “and that was more than enough, thank you very much!”

  “Yes? Well, I’ve told my missus, she can go on with the kids next time. I mean, it’s not safe for a man with a dicky heart!”

  “Oh dear!” Maddy said sincerely. “So you’ve got a dicky heart, have you?”

  “Not yet. But if I have to go on that thing once more, I’m sure I will have!” With a cheeky grin and a wink, he was away full throttle, accelerating onto the Promenade so fast, there erupted a volley of car horns. “AND THE SAME TO YOU… BLOODY LUNATICS!” he bawled. Though he was plainly in the wrong, their driver gave as good as he got, adding a shake of the fist for good measure.

  “There goes a character,” Ellen chuckled.

  “Not much of a driver though, is he?” Maddy giggled. “I’m glad he got us here safely, before deciding to take on the world.”

  Pausing outside her grandfather’s house, Ellen asked of Maddy, “Well, what d’you think?”

  Maddy observed the house. Small and smart, it
was part of a terrace of similar houses, though it was the only one with a blue door and windowsills. The cream-colored net curtains were pretty, the lionhead doorknocker was handsome, and in general the house looked much loved and well cared for. It’s a fine house, Maddy thought, and said so aloud.

  “Grandad has a thing about bold colors,” Ellen explained. “When Grandma was alive, he would never have dared to paint the door blue. But nowadays he does pretty much as he likes.”

  “Ellen!” A woman spilled out of next door. “Ellen? Is that really you?” Small and squat with a red face and a wide, toothless mouth, she was just like one of the characters on a bawdy seaside postcard.

  Calling as she went, she hobbled down her path and up to Ellen, flung her arms round the girl’s neck and kissed her with the exuberance of a dog finding its master. “I were looking out the window and I saw you, and I thought, No, it can’t be. Oh, lass! You’ve been gone for so long, I couldn’t be sure it were you, d’you see? But then you turned and I knew straight off, and there you were… walking up the street as though you’d never been away!”

  She was so excited, Maddy feared she might have a fit. “Oh, Ellen lass, it’s so good to see you back home… and will yer be staying this time, d’you think?”

  Feeling like she’d been in a rugby tackle, Ellen tactfully released herself from the woman’s hold. “I’m not sure,” she replied. “I hope so.”

  “And who’s this?” Swinging round to scrutinize Maddy, she gave her a wide cavernous grin. “Well, you’re a pretty thing and no mistake!” Her eyes cottoned onto Maddy’s little bump. “When’s it due? Oh, and don’t tell me you’re not expecting, because I’ve had six of my own, more’s the pity, and I can tell just by looking. There’s summat in a woman’s face that gives it away, a kinda glow, if yer know what I mean.”

  She gave a heavy sigh. “Sadly, my lot ’ave all flown the nest. Since the last one took off, I’ve not seen hide nor hair of any o’ the buggers!” Visibly bristling, she snorted, “All I can say is good shuts to ’em. If they think I’ve outlived my usefulness, they can think again. I’ll tell you what though – the buggers’ll need me afore I need them, yer can count on that!”

  Overwhelmed by this lively little person, Maddy sensed that she did not mean one word of what she’d just said.

  “This is Maddy,” Ellen intervened. “And Maddy, this is Mrs. Winterhouse from next door.”

  “It’s Nora!” the woman chided. “We don’t stand on ceremony in these parts. So, don’t you forget,” she addressed Maddy, “the name is Nora.”

  Maddy held out her hand in polite greeting, but was astonished when the litle woman threw herself into a rough embrace. “You’re very welcome, pet,” she said, eventually letting her go. “Have yer been to Blackpool afore?”

  Maddy shook her head. “No, but I hope I might get to know it.”

  “Oh, but yer will,” the little woman assured her. “The noise and bustle in summer and the quiet in winter – then the sea air and the sound of gulls overhead… Like a poor man’s paradise, it is. I would never want to be anywhere else, I can tell yer that.”

  She might have gone on for longer, but Ellen had seen how pale and tired Maddy looked. “It’s really lovely to see you, Nora, but we’d best go now. We’ve traveled a long way, and I can’t wait to see my grandad. But we’ll drop by tomorrow, if you like. We can talk then, eh?”

  “All right, if you say so. Honestly, you young ’uns are all the same – allus in a rush, no time for anything. Seems yer can’t wait to be somewhere’s else. Well, go on then.” She gave Ellen another bear hug. “Oh, and tell your grandad hello. Let him know, he mustn’t be a stranger.” She hobbled back inside her own house.

  Having given up her front door key long since, Ellen raised the lionhead knocker and letting it go with a clang, was taken aback when the door was flung open and there stood her grandad, a look of impatience on his face and the fire poker in his hand. “Yer little bugg -. Well, I never! If it isn’t our Ellen!” Hugging her hard, he laughed out loud. “I thought it were them damned kids from Fitzroy Street. They’ve tekken to knocking on doors and running off.”

  Thinking how wonderful it must be to have someone like him in your life, Maddy stood back and watched them. Ellen’s grandad was nothing like she’d expected. While Ellen was small and perfect, this man was the size of a mountain, though obviously fit and strong. And with his red hair and sporty beard brightly speckled with gray, he was a sight to behold. Still striking in look and manner, Maddy suspected he must have been extremely handsome in his youth.

  Now, as he peered at her over Ellen’s shoulders, Maddy was very taken by the bright sparkle in his smiling green eyes. “Hello, and who have we here then? Is this the young lady you told me about?” His warm, resonant voice seemed to shake the ground beneath them.

  Drawing her friend forward, Ellen explained, “This is my friend Maddy… Maddy Delaney.”

  Reaching down, he placed two huge hands on her shoulders and gave Maddy a kiss. “I’m Bob, and you are very welcome in my home, lass,” he told her affectionately. “This is your home for as long as you see fit. You and Ellen both.”

  Maddy felt uneasy. “I’m pregnant,” she blurted out. “Did you know that?”

  “No matter. You are still welcome to make this your home,” he affirmed. “All three of you.”

  Leading them inside, he gave them a quick tour, starting with the sitting room. “I’ve changed a few things since you’ve been gone,” he told Ellen. “This room’s had a coat of paint and a few new pieces of furniture.” Then, ushering them inside the front parlor, he explained, “You might recall this front room was never hardly used. Well, now it’s my workshop. See?” He pointed proudly across the room. “What do you think?”

  Beautifully arranged on the brand-new shelves was a fine collection of wooden sculptures. Painstakingly fashioned and polished, there were fiery prancing horses, pretty girls on swings, and all manner of animals and birds in every pose imaginable.

  “Oh, they’re beautiful!” Maddy was amazed. “Did you do all these?”

  “I did, yes.” The pride shone from his face. “And there are more out in the shed, ready to be sold at market.”

  Ellen had always known her grandad was talented, but she had never realized just how much so, until now. “You used to say you would never sell your pieces,” she reminded him.

  “Ah, yes… well, that was when your grandma Kitty was here. Everything I ever made was for her alone. After she’d gone, I got to be a bit sad, hour after hour working on these lovely pieces, with no one but me to see them. Then, some time ago, when I had this room done up, the young man who decorated the walls saw the sculptures in the hallway. He begged me to sell him one, for his wife’s birthday.” He scratched his head as he tried to remember. “As I recall, the particular one he fancied was a little lad, holding a butterfly in the palm of his hand.”

  Maddy told him she thought it sounded wonderful.

  “Mmm. I have to say, I always thought it was one of my best,” he answered thoughtfully. “The idea came after walking through the park and seeing this lad. Running around for ages he was, trying to catch a butterfly. But he never did manage it.”

  Maddy could see the boy in her mind. “So, you thought you would let him actually catch the butterfly, is that it?”

  He smiled down on her. “Something like that, yes,” he answered, “seems to me that you’ve the heart of a fine artist.”

  After lingering in that amazing workshop, and viewing the tiny but serviceable scullery, they were now seated in comfortable armchairs in the homely sitting room, while Grandad Bob insisted on preparing a meal. “Did Nora from next door catch you out?” he asked.

  “You could say that,” Ellen replied.

  “I hope she didn’t worry you too much?” he called back, going into the scullery.

  “No, Grandad. She was just pleased to see us.”

  “She’s got a new boyfriend – did she tell you
that?”

  “What! Are you serious?” Somehow it was not easy to imagine Nora Winterhouse with a man.

  “Oh, aye. He’s the third one this month. Gone a bit mad of late, she has. To my reckoning, there’s been men at the house most every week.”

  “So, is she looking to marry this latest one, or what?”

  “She’ll not marry any of ’em, I can tell you that, lass.”

  “Why not?”

  “’Cause she’s already said – it’s me she’s after. In fact, she’s been after me ever since poor Kit went to meet her Maker. I might be wrong, and may the Lord forgive me if I am, but I’ve an idea she fetches these men home, just to make me jealous. Huh! She should be so lucky.”

  Winking at Maddy, Ellen asked in serious voice, “Poor Nora. So you don’t fancy her then?”

  “What! I’d rather be tipped upside-down in a tub o’ wet spinach!”

  Both Ellen and Maddy laughed out loud. “I’ll be through in a minute,” he called. “The kettle’s on the boil.”

  Still smiling, Maddy felt as though she had known him all her life. “You’re so lucky,” she told Ellen now. “Your Grandad Bob is so nice and kind, and it’s plain to see how much he loves you.”

  Ellen nodded. “I know I’m lucky,” she said, “but I’m stupid too – going away from him, from everything I know, when all the time my happiness was right here, under my nose.”

  “So, will you never go back down South?”

  “Never!”

  “And what will you do for money?”

  “Well, I shall let out my aunt’s house – I might get Connie to organize all that for me, and pay her. Or I could sell it, I suppose, and buy a little house here for us. Eventually, I’d like to get back to singing – find work on the Northern club circuit. Showbiz is in our blood, isn’t it, Maddy?”

  She got up and went over to her friend. “We’ll be all right. Don’t you worry now. You, me and the babe – we’re going to be just fine. I’ve been sensible. I’ve got a deal of money stashed away, so we won’t be desperate for a while yet.” She chuckled. “Who knows? When the money runs out, we could buy an ice cream van and go up and down the front.”