I was speechless, turning my body so I could stare at him with wide eyes. "Is...that why you and your brother hate water? And...that's why Daniel wears glasses?" I put the pieces together in my mind.
Michael slowly nodded. "Angel shifters are all about perfection and so when Daniel got glasses, life was even worse for him. I don't need to wear them, but I did a lot when I was younger so he didn't feel out of place. It took us a week before Marissa was able to convince us to go near water and bathe. We general,y stuck with showers and we had to deal with therapy to help us cope. I didn't mean to panic...it's just a reaction that happens and usually the reason I stay out of missions when its expected to rain that day."
"Michael..." I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "You...why did you come to get me?" I whispered, almost in tears.
"Because I love you, Scar. You...you accepted me, something that many people aren't able to do. Being...bisexual...it's hard. I never knew how to fit in. Even with our team, it took me a while to get comfortable and know they wouldn't abandon me too. Yet, you came into our lives and simply the thought of me kissing another male excites you, instead of leaving you in disgust. I love everything about you, Scarlet, and I just couldn't allow you to walk away. I know the others mean well, and would have chased after you as well, but I told them I'd handle it," Michael explained.
"But...Jaxson," I said quietly.
"Scar, Jaxson is really hard to understand. I've known him since our late teens and I still struggle to understand some of his actions. I just know that he's stressed and scared. He doesn't want to lose you again, especially to Xerxes who he has history with. I can guarantee Jax regrets what he said and didn't mean for you to think he wants you leaving the team. He just needs to see that you’re a part of our team, which means you may sometimes get hurt or be put in risky situations," Michael disclosed.
I nodded and pulled back to stare into his eyes. "I have a question...but you don't need to answer it if you don't want to," I reassured him.
He gave me a curious look, but nodded. "Sure."
"Do you like Jaxson?"
Michael blinked a few times. "Like, as in?"
"Do you have feelings for Jaxson?" I reworded the question, noticing a tinge of red that began to appear on his cheeks as his eyes widened.
"Why...the sudden question?" Michael asked, glancing away.
"The picture of you and Jaxson on your desk. I can see in your eyes that you liked him...maybe even cared deeply for him at some point," I confessed.
Michael was silent for a long time before he answered. "Yes...I had a crush on him."
"Had or still do?"
"Aren't you going to be mad if I answer that truthfully?" Michael asked with a frown.
"Why? You liking Jaxson doesn't harm me in any way. I like when you two are intimate anyways, so I don't see why that would make me mad or hurt." I shrugged.
"But..." Michael paused, clearly trying to find another excuse.
"We agreed to this relationship because I'm exclusive right? You guys will all date me and I'll keep myself to you guys. I don't see what's wrong with you liking one another in a deeper way. Jaxson was in your life before me, so I can't assume your feelings for him will just vanish. Either way, I'd be fine with and support you if you do still like him," I concluded.
"I....do...still...like him," Michael confessed, his face red. "I mean, don't get me wrong, Scar. I love you more than anything, but I do still have a crush on Jaxson. Maybe it was because he was my first friend or because he accepted me so easily. Even when I bite his neck or annoy the shit out of him, he's fine with it and accepts it like it's nothing."
He sighed, resting his head on my left shoulder once more. "I don't know...I just haven't told him. I don't think I ever well."
"Why not?" I asked.
"He'll hate me."
"What if he already knows?" I asked.
Michael lifted his head up in shock. "How?"
I shrugged. "You never know. Jaxson's observant...you might as well tell him. At least that way he knows and well...it would make my sex life more heated," I admitted, blushing slightly.
"Guess if you say so," Michael mumbled.
"Try it," I whispered, leaning in to kiss his lips. He kissed me back, then broke the kiss and rested his forehead against mine.
"I will, as long as you promise to take a few days off and relax with the others. I'll deal with Jaxson. For now, just ignore him. You can hang with the others tomorrow since Jax has a meeting with Kendrick. Just don't stress about Jaxson. We'll figure things out, I promise," Michael vowed.
I smiled and nodded, hugging him once again. "Then promise me you'll confront Jaxson before we find the final crystal. I think it would be good for our relationship. I don't know why, but my gut is telling me so."
"Alright. I'll confront him the next time I get a chance," Michael agreed. I rested my head on his chest. Eventually Michael laid down with me in his arms.
"Don't stress. You can always make Jaxson's life hell if you wanted to," Michael hummed.
"I'll think about it while I sleep. I'll make sure to contact you if I need ideas of how to torture him," I hummed.
"Don't pick up when he calls. It's a pet peeve of his," Michael suggested.
"Interesting. Okay," I agreed.
We relaxed and Michael grinned. "Let's sleep and then we’ll do something fun for the evening."
"Okay...I'll go back to sleep," I muttered, already feeling tired.
"Scarlet?" Michael whispered.
"Yes, Michael?"
"I love you. Thank you for being you," he declared.
I grinned. "Thank you for living, even when the world was unfair to you. My world would be a much darker place without you," I whispered.
He beamed at my comment before pulling me into a steamy kiss.
I'd give Jaxson and I some time to cool off and hope we can work this out.
That’s all I could do, because my guts told me we didn't have long before the incoming storm.
~AGENT MICHAEL MOORE~
"Jaxson."
I followed him into his condo and slammed the door behind me. I knew he was pissed about what Scar did. I was just as upset, but it was because of her actions that we got the Crystal of Unity, which left us with only one crystal left to locate.
"I don't want to talk right now," Jaxson grumbled, storming down the hall to his room. I rolled my eyes and followed him. I entered his room as Jaxson was pulling at his tie, loosening it enough to lift it over his head, tossing it on the bed.
"You look like shit," I pointed out.
"Thanks for the compliment,” he snarled.
He began to unbutton his shirt and I sighed, deciding I better get him to talk now, or it would be harder on me than him.
"Jaxson, we need to talk about THIS," I stressed.
Jaxson paused and I noticed him take a deep breath before he turned to face me. "What?"
I frowned at the hard tone of his voice and his guarded facial expression. I wouldn't deny the fact anymore that I had a crush on Jax. I always have, but I ignored it for the sake of our friendship. Maybe it was Scar's acceptance and encouragement that made me realize just how concerned I was for our leader. I knew he was dealing with issues totally out of Scar's and my control, but maybe if I talked to him, or was able to calm him down, he'd stop pushing us away. We had to work as a team, but his attempt at hiding his fear through his angry behavior wasn't fooling me.
I knew it wasn't fooling Scarlet either, but I couldn't let her worry about it anymore. I noticed the disappointment in her eyes when Jaxson dismissed her after the fight, and though he tried to act like he was over it, I knew he really wasn't.
"What's going on? I mean what's REALLY going on?" I demanded. I should have thought this through more clearly, but this was the only chance I'd get with him, unless we were able to get a day just to take a much needed break, either as a team, or just Jax, Scar, and I.
He was hiding something and
we needed to figure out what it was. What was he so afraid of?
"Nothing," Jaxson muttered, his eyes lowering to the floor as he continued to unbutton his shirt.
Lie...
"Jaxson," I said again, my voice much lower than before. He closed his eyes before meeting my gaze.
He knew when my voice sounded threatening, it meant I wasn't bullshitting with my request. We needed to fix whatever was going on and I just wanted him to stop thinking he could do this alone. One thing I'd known since the day I'd met Jaxson was he hated relying on others. He'd take on the world alone and put himself at risk, just so his team would be safe.
"It's not your problem,” he whispered.
"It so IS my problem, just like it is the others’. Scarlet thinks you’re upset with her," I revealed. Jaxson frowned as regret flickered across his expression. Then he turned around, taking his dress shirt off and walking over to the black hamper next to his dresser.
"I'll talk with her,” he spoke quietly.
"Of course you will, because if you make Scarlet cry again, I'll fucking beat the shit out of you," I declared.
Jaxson froze, turning around to stare at me. "I made her cry…?" he whispered.
I let out a frustrated huff as I ran my hands through my loose hair. "Of course you did! Fuck, Jaxson, Scarlet's trying her best to be a part of this team and make a difference. She feels so out of place. One minute we're telling her how amazing she's been as an addition to our team, and next you're snapping and getting all tight in the pants when she does something risky. I get it, you love her, just as we all do, but we can't fucking baby her!" I snapped.
"I'm not babying her!' he snapped back.
I walked right up to him till we were face to face. "You're babying her, Jaxson and it has to stop. I know why you're acting up, yet you don't want to admit it yourself."
"I'm not acting up or babying her! I just...fuck, never mind," he grumbled, trying to walk away, but I blocked his path.
"We're discussing this, Jaxson," I insisted.
"There's nothing to discuss."
"Jaxson," I warned. I knew my eyes were beginning to shift to their darker tone, his lies beginning to piss me off.
He froze for a moment and I noticed the flicker in his eyes, but I didn't move, knowing his demon spirit wouldn't dare fight me right now. I wasn't in the mood and I was more frustrated about Jaxson's behavior, than his silly reasoning for acting like an immature brat.
I took another step and he took one back until he was up against the wall and I was right in his face. I tried to ignore the way my heart beat wildly against my chest and the lingering feelings I'd always ignored and only got a chance to express them when I was drunk with no filter. But whatever was going on with Jaxson was more important than my feelings and I needed him to at least open up to me so he'd man up and apologize to Scar.
"Why do you care?" he whispered. My heart hurt for him as I watched his conflicted expression. He's hurting, but why?
"Jax. We've been friends the longest. I know you the best out of all the guys. You don't need to keep acting like everything’s okay and that you're handling this like a pro. Can't you just tell me what's wrong and stop bullshitting?"
"Move," Jax insisted.
I knew I'd have to take the harder route to get info from him. "I'm not moving, Jax." I could see the anger begin to boil in him.
He opened his mouth, saying something I didn't expect. "Just because you have a crush on me doesn't mean you know me."
My jaw went slack and I blinked, staring at his blank expression. He'd hit a nerve and knew it, pushing me aside as he began to walk to the door.
"He wants to distract you," Ezriel declared.
I clenched my fist as I took a deep breath. I know. I was tired of being nice. I couldn't let him walk away this time, even if it meant using dirty tactics to get the information that I wanted.
"Freeze."
I heard Jaxson curse under his breath, but I didn't care. I walked over to where he stood so I could face him. He glared at me, his eyes flickering from his normal orange-red to pitch black. It took a good minute before Jaxson regained control and I saw him grit his teeth.
"Michael. What have I said about using your gift on me?” he demanded.
"I bet you'd be fine with it if Scar was around and we were having a threesome," I mumbled. I noticed his cheeks begin to turn red and he quickly glanced away, which gave me a bit of amusement.
"How do you know...about that anyway?" I asked.
There was no way he heard my discussion with Scarlet the other day. She’d slept in my room when we'd returned and was relaxing with Christian, Ethan, and Junho as they attempted to cheer her up.
"I've always known...since we were eighteen," Jaxson revealed. I could sense the truth in his confession.
"Why have you been okay with me biting your neck when I'm exhausted, or even...kissing you when Scar asked us to if you know about that?" I questioned. He was silent for a moment, staring into my hard gaze.
"Should I not be okay with it?" Jaxson reworded the question and it just pissed me off.
"Yes. You shouldn't, because aside from Scar and our team, no else has been okay with it! I don't even understand why the fuck you guys are so damn accepting of it?" I snapped. I knew I was going off topic, but it was the truth. Now that he revealed he'd known I’d had a crush on him for years before meeting Scar, I was pissed that he hadn't said anything.
Him knowing left me feeling embarrassed and almost afraid as to what he thought of me. If he knew, why didn't he push me away like everyone else had?
The others accepted me because we were a team and it wasn't like I was interested in anyone else in our team in "that" manner.
Sure, I wouldn't deny the opportunity for a threesome that involved me being intimate with Jaxson if it pleased Scar, especially when we were in bed, but this was different. Even with Scar being perfectly fine with me liking Jaxson, even encouraging me to tell Jax how I felt, it made me feel utterly stupid to have hidden my feelings all these years, when he knew all along.
Jaxson was silent, which only frustrated me more. I retracted my power and pushed him against the nearest wall, my lips just inches from his. "If I kissed you right now, would that make you hate me? Would that make you understand what your acceptance makes me feel like?" I questioned.
I glared at him as he took a calming breath as he continued to stare into my eyes. "No."
"No to what?"
"I wouldn't hate you if you kissed me, ‘cause you've done so multiple times in the past. And why does me accepting your bisexuality make you so upset?"
I wanted to retaliate, but paused, shocked by the first part of his statement and confused by the second half.
He took the opportunity to continue. "All those times you'd get drunk, you'd kiss me. All those days you could barely stand ‘cause you were tired from working your ass off, you'd mutter how thankful you were to have me in your life, yet wished we were something more. You've been my friend for years before this team was even established. You were fine with me, even though I was a complete ass to you. But one thing I'll confidently state is I'll always accept you. I couldn’t care less if you like men and woman, and though I see myself as straight and love Scarlet to the stars and back, I won't deny that I'm okay with you kissing me. I'm okay with you being an idiot and pushing yourself till all you can do is nibble on my neck all damn night."
"If you were okay with everything, then why didn't you say so? Why couldn't you be upfront about it? Why do I have to back you into a corner before you tell me what is going through your damn head, Jax?! Even now, with everything that's happening, it's fucking hard to understand what’s going on with you. Even Scarlet's struggling. I...fuck." My cheeks were red with embarrassment as his words sunk into my head. I kissed him before...multiple times, and he's been okay with it?
"Because I hate sharing how I feel, alright?!" Jaxson snapped, attempting to get out of my way, but I slammed my hands on the w
all behind him, my outstretched arms blocking him from escaping the situation.
"You hate sharing what's really bothering you, not how you feel. You're okay with showing your anger, yet you totally suck at sharing when you’re scared shitless, Jaxson. What the fuck are you so afraid about that's made you an anxious mess? You think Scarlet's blind to your change of behavior? She's going to find out. No, she probably already knows what happened back then, Jax, and it's only a matter of time before she goes back through her sketchbook and put all those pieces together," I revealed.
Jaxson froze, looking like a deer in headlights at my words. "Sketchbook..." he whispered.
"Whenever Scar sleeps in your arms, she has the same vision. Over, and over again. Each time I wake her up, she draws pieces of that scene. The fire, the old house, the little boy with determined tear-filled eyes. She's going to figure out that little boy is you, Jaxson, and that the woman in your arms is your mom. She'll figure it out, just like how I finally understand why you've been such an ass." I whispered the last sentence.
"Enough."
"You're scared you'll fail Scar," I spoke quietly, staring into his eyes. I didn't know why now, but everything finally made sense.
"I said ENOUGH!" he snapped.
"You're afraid that you won't be enough to stop Xerxes. You're pushing us away so you can fight this battle alone, not because you believe in your strength, but because you'd rather sacrifice yourself and face Xerxes on your own than put Scarlet and the others in the path of danger," I continued.
He was silent, although his body trembled. I could tell he was angry, but I knew deep inside he was a bunch of nerves and built up fear.
"Jax, admit it. You're afraid to lose all of us and that's why you're acting like this. You love Scarlet. You love her wholeheartedly and that phone call tore at your fucking core. Hearing Xerxes laugh as he held Scarlet broke you, and when you heard her scream as she fell to her death, you realized you'd failed her. That's why you'll do anything to take this case upon yourself. Anything to make it so that Scarlet doesn't have to face Xerxes. But the universe has other plans, and you know when we gather all the crystals, it's only a matter of time till Scar’s going to be a main target," I concluded.
Visionary Awakened (Paranormal INC Series Book 2) Page 25