Jaxson looked to the floor, his clenched fist slowly opening up and I knew he'd given up trying to fight it. I sighed and decided to just give in, pulling him into a hug as I patted his back.
"We're a team...and you've always been there for us. Why can't you rely on us too? Why do you have to carry the world's burdens just so we have an easier life? Stop thinking this is only your battle, because it's not. When you're in pain...so am I. Fuck Jax, Scar's in pain. We're all fucking worried about you and scared shitless too. We don't know how this case is gonna end, but that's why we need each other. We need to do this together, but we can't do that without you," I whispered.
He was silent, but rested his head on my shoulder. "What if...I can't protect her again? What if he gets hold of her? Or the others...or you? Fuck, Michael, I wouldn't be able to fucking live. When...when I got that phone call, it was as if life fucking stopped. Everything seemed to pause like time was frozen and I was left listening to Scar's struggle. When we found her unconscious at the bottom floor in a pool of blood..." He trailed off.
I closed my eyes and rubbed my hand soothingly down his back. "I get it, Jaxson."
We all had to pause when we saw Scarlet. Christian had been next to her when we arrived, checking her pulse and announced that she was still breathing.
I knew exactly how it felt, like the one thing you cherished in life was taken from you and you wondered how the hell you'd live without it.
"We understand, but pushing us away isn't going to stop Xerxes. Sacrificing yourself isn't going to protect Scar. We're one step closer to gathering these crystals, and I think the purpose of all of this is to bring us together. We've always been a team, and now that includes Scarlet. Let's work together to protect her." I pulled back and he nodded, blinking back his tears.
"Sorry...for being an ass…and..." He trailed off, his cheeks growing red. I was confused as to why he was blushing.
"I'm fine with you liking me. I've never had an issue with it...just kinda getting used to the idea of it. Guess Scarlet's adoration for male-on-male action is rubbing off on me,” he mumbled.
I felt my face grow hot and we both looked away. "How many times have I kissed you?" I asked.
"Too many to count," Jaxson replied. I mentally cursed because I could tell it was the truth. Fuck?!
"Aren't you supposed to be kinda happy?" Ezriel yawned, sounding relaxed in his section of my mind.
Why are you so chill about this? You're an angel. I could imagine him shrugging like he didn't give a hoot about it. "Thou shall not judge," he hummed.
That's not even a commandment. I mentally groaned, pulling out of my thoughts to see Jaxson staring at me. "What?" I asked.
"You don't have to be drunk to kiss me. I want you to promise me one thing,” he requested.
I grimaced but nodded. "What?"
"I want you to stop thinking that you liking women and men is a bad thing. I know it's not something you’ll get over in a few weeks, or even months. Scar said she doesn't mind and neither do I or any of the others,” he declared.
"But..."
"You said I can rely on you guys. Can you rely on us to accept who you are and not give a shit about anyone else's opinion? Scar loves you just the way you are. So do the rest of us. Even if you're a pain while you’re drunk...I...well, you know what I'm getting at," Jaxson grumbled, ruffling his hair.
"Why is it so hard for you two to just admit you like one another and move on?" Ezriel sighed. I froze up, thinking I must have heard wrong. Don't fucking play with me Ezriel. He doesn't like me like that and...ugh this is complicated.
"Whatever you say. I bet Scar would agree with me." He hummed.
"What is Ezriel saying to you?" Jaxson asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Nothing," I said quickly, moving away. Jaxson was quiet for a moment, and I decided to change the subject. "Call Scar and tell her you’re sorry. She's been depressed all day."
"Pass me your phone."
"Use yours."
"She won't pick up my calls...I tried,” he whispered sadly.
I sighed, pulling out mine and presented to him. "Her-"
My body was pulled forward, and in the blink of an eye, I was being kissed by Jaxson. It was a short kiss, but it was still long enough that my mind was able to register what was happening. He pulled away, releasing my wrist and took the phone from my hand.
"That's for the 302 times you've kissed me when drunk. I'll only say this once. Aside from Scar, who will always be my primary love, I...did like you...and maybe still do...but I love Scar...ugh this is complicated,” he grumbled before walking towards the bed. He began tapping on my phone.
I stood in place, my brain repeating his words over and over again while I lifted my hand to my lips.
"Told you," Ezriel sighed. I didn't reply as I put my hands in my pockets before glancing at Jaxson, who was ruffling his hair as he waited for Scar to pick up.
"Hey," he whispered and there was a moment of silence. "Scar, baby, don't hang up, please." There was another silence before he continued. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I was stressed and pissed...and scared shitless. It came out the wrong way and instead of praising you for what you did, I made you and the team feel like shit. I'm sorry."
I sighed, feeling bad for Jaxson, knowing he was struggling to keep it together. Out of all of us, Jaxson was hard to crack. But when you did, it was difficult for him to hide the emotions he always worked so hard to hold back from the world.
"Please baby,” he whispered. I knew he'd cry soon if she didn't speak. "Okay...can you come over? Just so we can talk?" he asked. I smiled, knowing Scar wouldn't let him cry before she forgave him.
"I can come pick you up," Jax suggested.
"I'll go," I announced. Jaxson met my gaze and I winked, pulling my keys out of my pocket. "Tell Scar I'll be there in fifteen and to pack up a bathing suit and a change of clothes."
He was silent for a moment and Jax smirked. "She said okay and that she could hear you just fine."
"Cheeky," I mumbled and Jax's grin got wider.
"She heard that too."
"Ah. Well, I'm going," I announced.
Jaxson was quiet for a moment, listening in on what Scar was saying before he closed his eyes. "I love you."
There was a pause and I perked my hearing up to hear Scar's reply. I love you too.
It gave me a sense of relief to know they'd work things out. I guess we'd gotten so used to everyone working together that if there was tension between us, the whole group felt it.
Even when Christian was dealing with what happened after the accident, it was difficult for us to concentrate on all the assignments coming in left and right. Yet there Scarlet was, fixing everything as always.
"See you soon," Jaxson whispered and hung up. He rose up, walking over to me as I opened the door and stepped out into the hall. He tried to follow, but I shook my head. "I got a spare key. Take a nap. You look like shit."
"I don't look that bad,” he huffed, looking in deep thought for five seconds before he rolled his eyes. "Fuck you, Agni."
I smirked. "You said that out loud," I pointed out before patting him on the shoulder. "Take a nap...and thanks, Jax." I whispered the last part.
He nodded and looked at his feet. "Thanks too. I really needed the company,” he confessed.
I closed my eyes and did something I never thought I'd have the courage to do, taking a step forward and kissing him gently on the lips. His body went rigid, but he didn't pull away. In seconds he relaxed and I used my power this once.
Sleep.
I pulled away to see his struggle, those amber eyes fighting to stay open, but within five seconds he was leaning forward, letting out a weak groan.
I quickly caught him and checked to make sure he was knocked out. Then I carried him over to the bed, laying him down and placing the thin blanket on him.
"He's gonna kill you," Ezriel pointed out.
"Probably, but at least he'll be well rest
ed, instead of looking like he hasn't slept for days," I said out loud and sighed. "But he is gonna kick my ass, fuck."
"Worth it," Ezriel declared, sounding pleased with my action.
I looked back at Jaxson's sleeping figure and smiled. I'd taken Scar's advice and was finally honest about my feelings.
She'd always be my love, but it was nice to know she supported my feelings for Jax too, even though I knew we'd most likely only be intimate when Scar was there to enjoy the action. I was fine with that, ‘cause I knew the both of us only cared about Scar's happiness and wellbeing. I grinned, closing my eyes as I took a deep breath, letting all the anxiety and fears I had held within free. I was ready to face whatever was coming, and had a new outlook.
I guess if Scar and my team accepted me, that's all that should matter. Maybe Father wouldn't, and that was something I'd have to come to terms with, but the woman I loved didn't mind, my friends and partners in crime couldn't care less, and my brother had been fine with my differences long ago.
It was just me learning to let go and love the person I'd become.
Ya...it was so worth it.
I stared at my phone as I texted Ethan. I told him I was going to take a nap and probably wouldn't text back until we got to wherever we were going. We’d been texting back and forth with Junho stealing his phone occasionally to text me cute images made up of text. It was my entertainment for the long quiet car ride.
I glanced at Michael in the back seat. He was fast asleep, his head resting against the window of our new Range Rover Junho had bought to replace the last one. I thought I'd have issues sitting in the passenger seat after what happened, but after two hours, everything was still good.
I lowered my gaze to Moonlight, who looked half asleep on Michael's lap. His tail was moving back and forth occasionally and his Nighty doll was in his hold.
I returned my gaze to the front, sliding my phone into my little purse and putting on my sunglasses. At least with them on, I could take sneaky peeks of Jaxson without him noticing.
I did just that, taking a quick side look at Jaxson, who was driving. He wore black shades and his black short hair blew lightly from the wind that crept in through the gap in the window on his side.
When I arrived at Jaxon’s place last night with Michael, we didn't talk much. Jaxson simply hugged me, and that was enough to make me cry like a little baby. I'd fallen asleep in his hold and woke up sandwiched between him and Michael.
Moonlight was relaxing at the end of the bed. After we woke up and got dressed, Jaxson said he had somewhere he wanted to go and asked if we could come along.
So we were heading somewhere, and Michael and I had no clue as to the destination. But I wasn't overly concerned. Even though Jaxson had apologized, we hadn't been talking. Rarely anyways.
I glanced down at his hand that rested next to the gear shift. I looked down to my left hand, which was only inches away. I wanted to hold his hand, even if we were upset with one another, but I couldn't find the courage to do it.
After staring at his hand for what seemed to be minutes, I gave up. I closed my window so I could rest my head against it, shutting my eyes to take a nap.
I waited for sleep to come, but then a hint of fear went through me. If I fell asleep, would the car get hit? Would I lose Jax, Michael, and Moonlight?
I opened my eyes again, feeling exhausted and desperate to snooze for the remaining two hour drive, or so the GPS stated, but the fear didn't dissipate. I could feel my hand tremble, but I didn't move, not wanting Jaxson to realize I was still awake.
I tried again, longing to sleep, but then I worried I might have nightmares about the incident. I felt I was dealing with an emotional, jet-lagged reactions to everything regarding the car accident, and now was unsure how to tackle them.
I felt something warm wrap around my hand and squeezed it gently. I didn't move, but I knew it was Jaxson's hand, my hand always feeling so small in his.
"You're okay, Scar. Nothing will happen," Jaxson whispered.
I didn't know if he figured out I was awake this whole time, but the warmth of his hand seemed to rid my mind of the fear that had been building. It was like he was the cure for my anxiety at this moment. The relief that ran through me was hard to express in words.
All I knew was I was thankful for his observant nature and I squeezed his hand back as I finally relaxed. In less than a minute, I was fast asleep.
"Ugh. Moonlight, give me the keys!" Michael shouted. He chased after Moonlight, who kept running around the outside of the house, with his Nighty doll and the set of keys for the house before us in his mouth.
I watched Moonlight dash off to the back of the house and Michael groaned. "Scar, help."
I yawned before rubbing my eyes. "He won't give them back until you catch him," I revealed.
"Ugh. Moonlight!" Michael huffed and ran off to the back. I smiled before my attention shifted to the gorgeous vintage looking house before me. We were in the countryside and the single house was surrounded by acres of land, with a forest on the outskirts of the property.
When I woke up, I realized I had been resting on Jaxson's shoulder, his arm holding me in place. I didn't mind one bit and shyly thanked him for it before we'd gotten out of the car. Risuki had told me within my mind that I had been whimpering in my sleep. That’s when Jaxson stopped the car momentarily to reposition me so I could rest on him. I'd stopped whimpering after that apparently. It made me happy that even if we weren't 100% back to normal, he still cared about my well being.
Jaxson walked up next to me, taking the little neon pink duffle bag from my hand. "You can go inside and rest. I'll bring our stuff inside."
"But the keys," I protested, pointing to Michael, who was now in the field chasing after Moonlight who was clearly having the time of his life.
Jaxson grinned. "There's a spare under the doormat."
"Smart." I hummed and gave him a small smile. I moved towards the house, walking up the stairs and retrieved the gold key under the welcome mat.
I opened the door and sighed in awe at the beautiful interior. It made me feel like I'd walked into the 1900s. It was so different from our classy, space-conserving homes that were more technology dependent. Sure, a house could be welcoming, but old classic homes like these always warmed my heart. Maybe it was partly because it reminded me of my home when I was younger.
As I walked into the living room, the familiarity of the place triggered my memory: the vision of the burning home and the little boy's cries. I swallowed at the image in my mind.
"Scar?" Jaxson called out. I ignored him, closing my eyes and allowing my hand to run along the piece of smooth, white hardwood.
I felt a pull of energy from upstairs and could hear the little boy’s cries for his mother over and over again. Even though I knew the house wasn't really burning down, I could feel the heat of the flames from the vision and the feeling of hopelessness.
"Scarlet." Jaxson's voice was closer but again, I ignored it. I moved away from where I stood and followed the power tugging at me. It was almost as if my very heart could feel the gripping pull, like a rope reeling me in.
I moved up the oh so familiar stairs and walked down the hall towards the master bedroom. I slowly opened the door to a room that looked exactly like the one burning in my vision. I walked to where I had stood in my dream, just steps away from the little boy who held his dead mother in his arms.
I felt a hand land on my shoulder and slowly turned my head to meet Jaxson's worried gaze. His amber eyes reminded of the little boy’s, yet lacked the determination and rage that reflected in the child’s amber eyes.
"Scar...are you having a vision?" Jaxson asked. He seemed unsure and continued to give me a worried look.
"The little boy," I whispered, returning my gaze to the spot on the wooden floor where the kid had cradled his mother. "The house was burning. Piece by piece, everything was being engulfed by the flames, which I knew weren't caused by accident. Even with all the noi
se from the fire destroying the furniture and eating up the wood, the little boy's cries were still so loud."
I turned my head and gave him a sad smile. "Over and over he screamed for his mother, and I thought maybe I could help. He could have been trapped, so I made my way upstairs to where his cries came from. There he was. He had such bright amber eyes...yet, they were filled with tears as he held the woman in his arms. His poor mother, covered in wounds, with a pool of her blood beneath them. He kept crying, calling for help like someone could save her. Yet, she was already gone...not even a speck of life within her dull eyes."
I swallowed the lump in my throat, looking down at the floor as I blinked back my tears. "I wanted to help him, Jaxson. I wanted so badly to comfort and tell him none of this was his fault. I didn't know what had caused his mother's death, but I wanted justice for him. Then Kendrick arrived and carried his mother out, encouraging the little boy to follow. As he was about to leave, he paused and ran over to a drawer just like that one." I pointed to the white drawer.
"He takes...something...I can't really recall what. Then he’s about to leave the room again, but stalls, just to turn and look around the room. I don't normally cling to visions, yet this one spoke to my very soul. What struck me the most was his eyes."
I lifted my head up to look back into Jaxson's eyes. "Those glorious orange-gold eyes were filled with a level of determination I never thought possible. In that one glance, I knew that boy's innocence was gone and had been replaced with a new purpose. He was determined to get justice. He would find who did this and make them pay for ruining his once happy childhood. Such a wonderful home burned down to ash because of one selfish person. Maybe that's why I could never let it go. This place reminds me of that home...that exact vision...but I know what I saw wasn't a dream. Maybe I wanted it to be a figment of my imagination simply so I could hope that little boy never experienced such a tragedy. But my heart tells me that it really happened some time in the past. That little boy must still be trying to reclaim the justice his mother deserved."
Visionary Awakened (Paranormal INC Series Book 2) Page 26