Monster of Disguise

by Joe McGee

  For that teacher who saw in ten-year-old me my passion for writing and helped me believe I could do something with it

  THANK YOU

  • THE SCOUTS •

  VAMPYRA may be a vampire, but that doesn’t mean she wants your blood. Gross! In fact, she doesn’t even like ketchup! She loves gymnastics, especially cartwheels, and one of her favorite things is hanging upside down… even when she’s not a bat. She loves garlic in her food and sleeps in past noon, preferring the nighttime over the day. She lives in Castle Dracula with her mom, dad (Dracula), and aunts, who are always after her to brush her fangs and clean her cape.

  WOLFY and his family live high in the mountains above Castle Dracula, where they can get the best view of the moon. He likes to hike and play in the creek and gaze at the stars. He especially likes to fetch sticks with his dad, Wolf Man, and go on family pack runs, even if he has to put up with all of his little brothers and sisters. They’re always howling when he tries to talk! Mom says he has his father’s fur. Boy, is he proud of that!

  FRANKY STEIN has always been bigger than the other monsters. But it’s not just his body that’s big. It’s his brain and his heart as well. He has plenty of hugs and smiles to go around. His dad, Frankenstein, is the scoutmaster, and one of Franky’s favorite things is his well-worn Junior Monster Scout handbook. One day Franky is going to be a scoutmaster, like his dad. But for now… he wants a puppy. Dad says he’ll make Franky one soon. Mom says Franky has to keep his workshop clean for a week first.

  CHAPTER 1

  AH, SUMMER IN THE VILLAGE… You can practically smell the sweet scent of grass and wildflowers. Of horses and hay and freshly baked cookies. The sun is shining. The birds are singing. Boys and girls, young and old, are flying kites. All is well in the village. And why shouldn’t it be? So far these villagers have managed to avoid a horde of hungry, cheese-eating rats during their annual cheese festival; celebrate their 150th birthday with only a momentary loss of power; and not get swept away by the flooding river and strong winds during a sudden spring storm.

  How did they survive all of these things? I’m glad you asked. Why, the Junior Monster Scouts, of course! Those Junior Monster Scouts are always in the right place at the right time, aren’t they? And speaking of Junior Monster Scouts… where are they?

  Let’s take a look, shall we?

  Wolfy raced ahead of his cub brothers and sisters. Wolfy’s dad, Wolf Man, hurled a stick over their heads.

  “And… fetch!” Wolf Man said.

  Fetch was Wolfy’s favorite game. He loved running as fast as he could, jumping over logs and rocks and fences, and getting that stick. Dad said he was the fastest!

  “No fair!” said Wolfy’s little sister Fern. “You always get the stick!”

  “One of these days, I’ll bet you catch me!” Wolfy said.

  The rest of the cubs tumbled around Wolfy’s feet, howling and barking.

  * * *

  Meanwhile, way up at the top of the castle tower, Vampyra gazed out her bedroom window.

  “Vampyra!” Aunt Belladonna called. “Are you brushing your fangs?”

  “You have to keep them shiny and pointy!” said Aunt Hemlock.

  “Don’t forget to floss!” Aunt Moonflower added.

  Vampyra groaned and trudged back to her sink. How many times did she have to brush her fangs?

  “Until they’re done right!” Aunt Hemlock called up from the library.

  “Reading my mind isn’t fair!” said Vampyra. She stuck her toothbrush in her mouth and scowled.

  * * *

  Franky put the collar on his new puppy, attached her leash, and wound her up.

  “Good girl!” he said. “Want to go for a walk?”

  Sprocket wagged her tail. She was very excited.

  “Woof!” she said. “Woof! Woof!”

  Franky patted her on the head and started down the Crooked Trail. He was so excited to have a new puppy. He and his dad had made her all by themselves in Doctor Frankenstein’s laboratory. Even his cousin Igor Junior had helped.

  * * *

  And while Franky and Sprocket walked and whistled down the Crooked Trail, while Wolfy played fetch, while Vampyra brushed her fangs again, and while the villagers flew kites and watched clouds, someone else was up and about. Someone with big, black, bushy eyebrows. Someone with a permanent scowl. Someone with the initials B. V. G.

  Do you know who it is?

  Of course you do. It was none other than Baron Von Grump.

  He paced his little balcony, wringing his hands and watching the winding road that led to his crooked windmill.

  “Where is it?” he asked. “It should be here this morning.”

  “Caw?” asked Edgar, his pet crow.

  “I’m glad you asked,” said Baron Von Grump. He smiled an oily, sneaky smile. The kind of smile a snake might make before it bit you. The kind of smile that makes you think someone is up to no good. “I’m waiting for a very special delivery. I have a little surprise in store for these kite-flying, cloud-gazing villagers. Every single time I try to get some peace and quiet, they have to ruin it with their noisome fun! But not this time. This time I have just the thing.…”

  He peered down the road. An old truck bounced and clattered toward him.

  “Ah! Here it comes now!”

  * * *

  Oh boy, you and I know that whatever is in that truck is not good for the villagers, because nothing involving Baron Von Grump is ever good! I suppose we’ll have to wait and see what it is.

  CHAPTER 2

  FRANKY AND SPROCKET HAD ONLY just started down the path when Franky’s mom, Esmeralda, called out to him.

  “Don’t forget that we’re having a special scout campfire tonight!” she said.

  “Oh boy!” said Franky. “Will there be s’mores?”

  “S’mores and more!” she said. “But I need you to pick up some chocolate from the village. Those villagers make the best chocolate!”

  It’s true, you know. Imagine the best piece of chocolate you’ve ever had. Do you remember how sweet it was? How rich? How absolutely delicious in all of its chocolaty goodness? Now multiply that by a thousand. That’s how good the village chocolate was.

  Esmeralda gave Franky some money for chocolate and off he went, leash in hand and a smile on his face.

  “Wait up, Franky!” said Vampyra. She flittered down from her bedroom window in bat form.

  “Vampyra!” called Aunt Belladonna. “Don’t forget to pick up the graham crackers for s’mores tonight!”

  Vampyra wrapped her bat wings around herself and spun in a circle. One… two… three… POOF! She turned into herself—shiny, brushed fangs and all.

  “Hi, Vampyra!” Franky said.

  “Woof!” said Sprocket. She wagged her tail very fast. She was excited to see Vampyra.

  “We’re going for a walk,” said Franky. “Want to come? I have to get chocolate for s’mores.”

  “I’m getting graham crackers,” said Vampyra.

  They had just reached the covered bridge when they met Wolfy. But he was not alone. He had all of his little cub brothers and sisters with him. They chased one another around his feet and nipped at his tail and howled at the sky.

  “Hey, Wolfy, do you and your brothers and sisters want to come with us?” asked Vampyra.

  “We have to get chocolate and graham crackers for the s’mores tonight,” said Franky.

  “Me too,” said Wolfy. “Mom sent us to get marshmallows… and exercise.”

  The cubs ran in circles. They leaped fallen logs. They climbed atop rocks. They had a lot of energy.

  “Woof!” said Sprocket. She wanted the cubs to pet her. And, of course, they did. Who would not want to pet a puppy? A fuzzy, cute, tai
l-wagging puppy?

  Well… there is one person who would not want to pet a puppy. There is one person who would look at your fuzzy, cute, tail-wagging puppy and say, Bah! Leave me alone. And right now, he was in his crooked windmill, opening his special delivery.…

  * * *

  “Behold!” said Baron Von Grump as he pried open the lid of the large wooden crate. “The very thing I’ve been waiting for!”

  “Caw?” asked Edgar.

  “Yes, Edgar, it is a mirror. But not just any mirror. This, my feathered friend, is the amazing, wondrous, spectacular, super-duper HypnoMirror! Just by gazing into this mirror, you will be hypnotized and under my control!”

  Edgar covered his eyes with his wings and looked away.

  “Don’t worry,” said Baron Von Grump. “It’s not on… yet.” And then he smiled that poisonous-snake smile, just like before.

  * * *

  But back in the village, things were much different. The villagers were flying kites and watching clouds and riding unicycles back and forth. There was accordion music and fresh flowers and the sweet smell of delicious chocolate.

  The Junior Monster Scouts, along with Sprocket and the cubs, crossed over the covered bridge and into the village.

  “I can’t wait for s’mores tonight,” said Vampyra. “Even if it means I have to brush my fangs a hundred more times.”

  “I wish I could have s’mores.”

  “You are,” said Vampyra. She looked at Franky. “We’re having them tonight, at our scout campfire, remember?”

  “I didn’t say anything,” said Franky.

  “A campfire? That sounds fun!”

  “Wolfy, did you forget already?” Franky asked. “You know we’re having a campfire. You’re supposed to get the marshmallows for the s’mores.”

  “Of course I know,” said Wolfy. “I didn’t say that.”

  “Then who did?” asked Vampyra.

  “Me.”

  “Me who?” asked Wolfy.

  “Me who, who?”

  “Are you an owl?” Franky asked, looking up at the tops of the buildings.

  “No,” said the voice. “I’m a boy. I’m right here!”

  Franky, Wolfy, Vampyra, Sprocket, and the cubs all looked at where the voice was coming from.

  But there was nobody there.

  CHAPTER 3

  WHEN SOMEONE SAYS, “I’M RIGHT here!” and you look and there is nobody there, that can be very confusing. You might think that there is something wrong with your eyes. Or maybe that you are hearing things. Or maybe even that someone is playing a prank on you. That’s exactly what the Junior Monster Scouts thought. They thought that someone was trying to play a funny trick on them.

  “Peter, is that you?” asked Franky. Peter, the piper, was a friend of the Junior Monster Scouts. They had helped him find his cat, Shadow, when she was lost in the Gloomy Woods.

  “Who’s Peter?” the voice asked.

  “Who said that?” asked Wolfy.

  “Where are you?” asked Vampyra. “Come out and show yourself. Stop playing tricks!”

  “I’m right here,” the voice said. “I told you guys…”

  “Wolfy, look!” said Fern, the littlest of the little wolf cubs. She pointed to where a rock floated up off the ground and stopped. It hung in midair all by itself.

  But… it wasn’t all by itself. There was a hand holding it. An invisible hand that belonged to an invisible boy. Because it was invisible, nobody could see it. I’ll give you an example. I’m going to tell you how this story ends, but I’m going to write it in invisible ink. Ready? Okay, just read the next line and you’ll know how the story ends:

  Well, what do you think? Good ending, right? Were you surprised? Wait… what? You couldn’t read it? No, of course you couldn’t read it. It was invisible. And that is exactly what the Junior Monster Scouts saw when they looked at where the rock was floating… nothing.

  “Whoa,” said Wolfy. “That rock is talking!”

  “It’s not the rock, it’s me,” said the voice. “I’m invisible!”

  “That explains why we can’t see you,” said Franky.

  “That’s the problem,” said the voice. “Nobody can see me. I’m just an invisible boy.”

  “What’s your name?” asked Vampyra.

  “George,” said the invisible boy. “Hey, can I pet your dog?”

  “You sure can, George,” said Franky. “Hey, she likes you!”

  Sure enough, Sprocket wagged her tail and licked the space where George must have been standing. To everyone else, it looked like she was licking the air.

  “I guess that answers my question as to why I’ve never seen you in the village before,” Vampyra said.

  “What does?” asked George.

  “Being invisible,” she said.

  “Oh no,” said George, “I don’t live here. I’ve only just arrived. I was hoping that maybe someone might see me.”

  “It must be tough when nobody can see you,” Wolfy said.

  “And lonely,” said George.

  “My brother is a Junior Monster Scout,” said Fern. She stood as tall as she could (which was not very tall at all, but she tried). “He’ll help you!”

  “You will?” George asked.

  “Of course,” said Wolfy. “We all will. That’s what we do!”

  “And you can even come to our campfire tonight,” said Vampyra. “We’re having s’mores!”

  “Wow, thanks, Junior Monster Scouts,” George said.

  But the scouts did not get a chance to say “you’re welcome” (which is a very nice thing to say when someone says “thanks”). Because at that moment, a very large, very colorful wagon pulled by four very large horses bounced its way up the road. It was not the wagon, or the horses, that interrupted their conversation. It was the man driving the large, colorful wagon, and his equally colorful cape and silly glasses and tall top hat.

  “Gather round, gather round,” he said, riding his large, colorful wagon right into the middle of the village. “Stop flying your kites. Stop gazing at clouds. Put down your unicycles and gather around. Step right up, step right up, to my Fun House of… FUN!”

  The village mayor stopped his unicycle and clapped his hands. “Ooh, that does sound fun!” he said.

  A Fun House of Fun seems pretty awesome, doesn’t it? But if the mayor had looked closer, he might have suspected that it was not going to be as fun as it sounded. If he had looked past the colorful cape, or the tall top hat, or the swirly glasses, or the striped scarf, he might have seen that the man driving this Fun House of Fun was none other than Baron Von Grump! And Baron Von Grump is not so fun.

  And had the mayor looked even closer, he might have seen a few black feathers sticking out from under that tall top hat. But he did not. Nobody did, because, well… Fun House of FUN!

  “And now, simple villagers,” said the top hat–wearing, cape-swirling villain in disguise, “who will be the first to step right up and have some FUN?” He pulled out a cane from somewhere inside of his cape, twirled it around, and pointed it at the Junior Monster Scouts. “What about you, Junior Monster Scouts?” he sneered.

  But before they could answer, the mayor raised his hand. “Ooh, ooh, pick me!” he said. “I want to go first. After all, I am the mayor!”

  Baron Von Grump smiled a crooked smile and pulled down the steps to the large wagon.

  “Well then,” he said, “prepare for the most fun you have ever had!”

  The mayor practically skipped up the steps and opened the door to the wagon.

  “Fun, here I come!” he said.

  CHAPTER 4

  WHEN THE MAYOR STEPPED INTO the wagon, he was not disappointed. The walls of the wagon were painted a very fun color. There were polka dots and stripes and swirls and splatters of rainbow colors. The floor was covered in a very fun rug. It was fuzzy and warm and had plenty of pleasing patterns. There was also some very fun music playing from a little turntable in the corner. It was the kind of music th
at makes you want to tap your toes and snap your fingers and bob your head to the funky beat. And while all of these things were certainly fun, what really made the Fun House of Fun especially fun was the peculiar mirror standing in the very center of the wagon.

  The mayor stood before the mirror and made silly faces. He stuck out his tongue. He rolled his eyes. He pulled on his mustache.

  “Oh my,” he said, “this certainly is fun!”

  But then something strange happened. Something very out of the ordinary. A large swirl formed in the middle of the mirror. It was a black-and-white swirl that began to spin, faster and faster and faster. The mayor could not look away.

  And then something even stranger happened. The mayor’s eyes had the exact same swirl. He was hypnotized! His swirly eyes stared straight ahead, and he shuffled out the door on the other side of the wagon.

  “How was it, Mayor?” asked one villager.

  “Fun,” he said.

  “On a scale from one to ten, how fun was it?” asked another villager.

  “Fun,” said the mayor.

  “That sounds like the most fun ever!” said a third villager. “I’m going to buy a hundred tickets!”

  “So. Much. Fun,” said the mayor.

  “That’s right, ladies and gentle-villagers!” said the disguised Baron Von Grump. “Step right up and get your tickets here! The one and only Fun House of Fun!”

  The villagers lined up, waving their money in the air. They could not wait to enter the Fun House of Fun. Why, the mayor himself had said it was So. Much. Fun.

  “I’ll take one,” said a villager, waving her money at Baron Von Grump.

  “I’ll take three,” said another villager, shoving his money into Baron Von Grump’s hands.