Planning on Forever

by Ashley Wilcox

  I thought she just needed time away, like a break. She has moved on, and looks happy. She’s even at a club. She hates clubs. She thinks they're disgusting, but now, all of a sudden, she is wearing the tightest dress possible, and grinding on guys in clubs? Well, guess what, beautiful, two can play at this game!

  Changing my relationship status to single, I type “Bottoms up tonight” in my status bar. Closing the computer, I turn to the guys standing there, waiting for my next move.

  “Gentlemen, we're going out.”

  We all take showers, style our hair, and get dressed. Thinking it would be a little much to show up at the same club as her, we pick a bar a couple of blocks away that Travis's brother, Troy, bounces at on school breaks.

  Luckily, he is working the door when we get there and lets us right in. After getting our first round of drinks, we start scoping the crowd for prospective females. Travis immediately snags a girl with blonde hair and huge tits, meeting his requirements. She has some friends, but none that look appealing. I talk to a couple of girls that approach Matt and I but it’s like talking to dumb and dumber, they won’t stop playing with their hair and giggling. Beginning to think that this night is going to be a bust, I see a group of girls dancing in the middle. One girl in particular stands out. She reminds me of Alexa, which is the last thing I need, but seeing that my options are limited, I can't be picky. She looks a little taller than Alexa, with long blonde hair. She has on a tight, black leather skirt with a cream silk top and is pretty hot, dancing by herself. All of her other friends are dancing with other dudes. Never being one to just start grinding on some random girl, I walk up to her and tap her on her shoulder, not knowing what else to do. She quickly turns around, giving me a puzzled look. Without making it too awkward, I reach out my hand and say, “Collin. I noticed you dancing out here by yourself and wondered if you would like some company?” Not the smoothest line, but I guess it will have to work.

  She’s actually even cuter up close. Her eyes are light brown and seem to sparkle even in the dim bar. “Summer, and since you were nice enough to ask instead of just pouncing on me, sure.” she replies, placing her hand in mine.

  – ALEXA –

  When I walk out of the bathroom, I notice Nolan talking to a guy near the bar, still holding our drinks. Standing there, I take in the heavenly view. He really is quite wonderful to look at. On cue, he spots me and catches me staring. Arching an eyebrow, he glances down his body with a sexy grin. He knows he’s hot, and he knows I agree. He motions for me to come over, so I do. I think I’d do anything he asks me to. Once I get within arm’s reach, he hands me my drink and slips his arm around my waist.

  “Doll, this is my brother-in-law, Dylan.”

  “Dylan, this gorgeous lady is Alexa.” Nolan introduces me, while Dylan reaches out to shake my hand.

  He’s married and in a club with a bunch of half-naked women; that would not be okay with me. As if he can read my mind, “It is a pleasure to meet you. My wife is the knock out behind the bar” he says, pointing to the bartender.

  How did I not pick up on that earlier? She’s a female version of Nolan.

  “They own the place,” Nolan adds. Well, that explains our VIP treatment.

  “Well, you guys have done a wonderful job, this place is beautiful.” I comment, not really knowing what to say, especially since I’m only nineteen and drinking in his bar.

  “Thank you, I’m glad you're enjoying yourself, I hope to see you here more often,” he says, smiling at me and winking at Nolan. “I’ll let you guys go, I need to do my rounds. It was lovely meeting you, Alexa.” Dylan excuses himself, smiling before he walks away.

  Leaning down and kissing the top of my head Nolan asks, “You wanna go sit down?”

  “I would love to,” I say with a smile.

  Grabbing my hand, he leads me to a back stairwell. At the top, there’s a new hulk like bouncer who shakes Nolan's hand and opens another red velvet rope for us. Turning the corner, we enter a beautiful lounge area; couches, chairs, and tables to the right, and a balcony overlooking the club below, to the left.

  “Wow, it's beautiful up here.” I say, looking around before sitting on one of the couches.

  “Yea, it’s nice and chill up here. It’s reserved for friends and family,” Nolan says, sitting down next to me.

  Hating awkward silence, I start rambling on about nothing; however, I get the distinct feeling that he’s not hearing a word I’m saying because all he’s doing is staring at my lips with a quirky smile. Apparently, he finds my lips intriguing. I find his whole body intriguing. I wish he’d just cut to the chase, and kiss me already.

  Wow, what happened to single Alexa, and finding herself on her own? Hot pants is throwing me a curveball.

  Like he can read my mind, he leans in and rests his lips on mine; nothing hot and heavy, just a nice soft kiss.

  Smiling against my lips, he lets out a cute chuckle.

  “Is there something funny?” I ask.

  “I like you,” he whispers, his lips still inches from mine.

  Not being able to control my raging hormones anymore, I take matters into my own hands, and press firmly into his lips, kissing him long and hard. Kissing me back, he opens his mouth, greeting my tongue with his. Nolan leans forward, pushing me back into the couch. Moving his hand from my leg, he slowly slides it up my side, stopping just underneath my breast. Needing to feel his body that I’ve been yearning to touch, I slide my hands up underneath his shirt. My body instantly melts feeling his smooth, rock hard abs. God, he’s freaking hot.

  Feeling the pulse between my legs start to quicken, I begin rocking my hips, needing to feel more friction from his body. Understanding my desire, he presses closer, removing any space between us. Moving his hand up over my breast, Nolan begins tweaking my already hard nipple with his fingers. Moaning in pleasure against his lips, he removes his mouth from mine, and begins trailing wet kisses down my neck, over my chest, and onto my breast. Teasing my nipple through my dress, he sends a shock of pleasure down my body.

  “Oh god, Nolan,” I moan, loving the way my body responds to his.

  All of a sudden, like someone poured ice water over his head, he comes to a screeching halt, pulling away from my body. Confused by his immediate stop, I whisper, “Is everything okay?”

  Nolan chuckles and looks up at me, putting one hand on my cheek. “Everything is great… You are great.”

  Standing up in front of me, he reaches for my hands, and pulls me up to him. Crushing me into his chest, he kisses my forehead. “Doll, I like you…I like you a lot, and trust me, I want you, badly, but not like this, not this fast.” He pauses and kisses me, holding his lips on mine for a minute. “I want to take you out on a date. I want to do this right. If that's okay with you?”

  Although I said I needed to be single and be independent, this man makes me feel things that I’ve never felt before. I’ve never wanted someone so much, and so fast like I do him. Biting my lip, trying to hold in my excitement, I reply, “I would love it.”

  – COLLIN –

  Although Summer is hot as hell, and the way her ass grinds up on me would normally send my sex drive in overdrive, I’m just not feeling it; I mean yeah, I’m feeling it, but I’m just not into it. My mind is elsewhere. My mind is with Alexa, in a club, grinding her ass up on someone else’s cock.

  Feeling sick to my stomach, I excuse myself, and bolt for the bathroom. Splashing water on my face, I try to wash the thought from my head. Standing there, staring in the mirror, I wonder if this is just as hard for Alexa? If this whole image she is trying to portray is just an act; masking the way she really feels inside. That’s what I’m doing, isn’t it? How I wish I could just hit a do-over button; I’d never have hooked up with Nicole, and I’d never had taken what Alexa and I had for granted. Even though I told her that I’d give her space, I need to know for sure. I need to know if she feels the same way. There’s no a chance in hell I’ll be able to function if there’s a
possibility she’s just as miserable as me. If that’s the case, we can somehow find a way to move forward, and work this out, and forget the trying to make each other jealous bullshit.

  Looking at my watch, it’s almost one thirty in the morning, the bars close at two. If I’m going to catch her before she leaves, we need to go now. I head towards the bar where Matt and Travis are talking to some girls.

  “There's my dude...Bro, I got a hottie I want you to meet,” Travis slurs as I approach them.

  “You guys about ready? I wanna try and get to that new club before it closes.”

  I ignore the girls they’re talking to, assuming that one probably has been picked out for me. Matt arches his eyebrow knowing where I’m going with this.

  “You sure about that, buddy?” he asks, looking skeptical.

  Travis, being oblivious to the situation, chimes in. “Yo, my dude… We're goin' back to my place. We have enough to go around,” he adds, winking at me.

  I look at Matt with pleading eyes. I need to do this.

  “Yo, Trav. Why don't you bring your girls with us to the new club, I want to check it out, too,” Matt says, having my back.

  I can tell he isn't very thrilled about it, but he knows when I’m serious, so he plays along.

  “Alright, dude, I'm in. I hear they have couches over there.” Travis says, winking at the girl he’s groping.

  Since the club is just down the street, we decide to walk. Being that it’s so late, there's no line, so we walk right in. The place is packed with drunk people. I start moving through the crowd, on a mission to find my girl. Just when I’m about to lose my mind, I spot Amanda on the dance floor, dancing with some kid covered in tattoos. On a mission, I push through the bodies noticing a look of panic on her face when she sees me. She looks around frantically; trying to find someone…Alexa.

  “Where is she? I need to talk to her!” I yell into her ear, so she can hear me over the music.

  “I...I don't know...She is with, um–”

  “What the hell are you doing here?” Amanda is cut off by a very mad looking Alexa standing next to me.

  Ignoring her angry tone, I reach out and grab her, crushing her to my chest in a desperate hug. Feeling her in my arms is heaven; smelling her sweet vanilla scent gives me butterflies in my stomach. God, I’ve missed this girl.

  My moment of bliss is quickly interrupted when she pushes me off of her. “What are you doing, Collin?”

  “Why are you here? This isn't you,” I say, motioning to the club around us.

  “Collin, you need to leave. You shouldn't be here.”

  “Why? Tell me you don't love me. Tell me you don't miss me. If you can look me in the eyes and tell me this, I'll be gone, Alexa.”

  Please don't tell me this, please tell me you feel the same way.

  She exhales, looking defeated. She feels it. I knew it! Looking me in the eyes she says, “It doesn't matter anymore...I'm sorry, Collin.”

  Grabbing Amanda's hand, she starts for the exit where Nicole is waiting for them. Just like that, she is gone...again.

  – ALEXA –

  “What was that all about?” Nicole asks as Amanda and I meet up with her at the exit.

  Before answering, I exhale the breath that I didn’t know I was holding, thanking god that Nolan wasn't here to witness that. I had just kissed him goodnight not even two minutes before seeing Collin. Apparently he works for his sister, and helps her close up the club. I just about lost it when I spotted Collin talking to Amanda.

  “I have no frickin’ clue. I don't even know how he knew I was here,” I continue.

  Shocked to see Collin standing in front of me, I didn't know what to say when he asked me if I loved and missed him. Sure I love him, I just spent the last three weeks in a deep depression missing him every second of the day, but truthfully, after tonight, I don't think I’m in love with him. I just spent the entire night swooning over Nolan, and wanting to do things to him that I never imagined doing to anyone again. So, do I miss Collin right now, I don’t think so.

  I can’t get Nolan out of my head. Everything with Nolan feels different, and exciting. Does it make me question what I had with Collin? Definitely. For so long, I thought Collin was the one for me, that he was my forever. But seeing how my heart and body responds to Nolan...it makes me believe that Collin was just my intro to love; like an appetizer before the real thing. Do I think Nolan is the love of my life? I have no clue–we just met. But, what I do know is Nolan makes me feel things that I’ve never felt before, and I’m just not going to let it slip out from under my fingers.

  The attraction Nolan and I share for each other is intoxicating and addictive. Every time I see him, I mentally undress him; fantasize what those big hands can do to me, and what his tongue would feel like all over my skin. He has this certain roughness to him that excites me and leaves me wanting more. I still love Collin, I really do, but I can’t ignore my feelings for Nolan. It’s crazy, but true.

  Drained from the previous night, I spend most of the next day sleeping. So much happened that I can barely wrap my head around it. Somewhere in between Amanda pulling me out of my pity party two days ago, and now, I’ve gotten over Collin, and am crushing hard on someone new. Not to mention, I’ve got this overwhelming urge to call Nolan. We exchanged numbers before leaving last night, and I want so badly to hear his husky voice. Before I left he said he’d be in touch; I wanted to ask how long that meant, but didn’t want to sound obsessive, even though I’m kind of obsessed with him already.

  I can’t get enough of Nolan; I crave him.

  Instead of driving myself crazy, I jump in the shower to calm my hormonal body. After only a couple of minutes, my mom peaks her head in the door. “Honey, you have a surprise waiting for you in the kitchen when you're done.”

  A surprise? My birthday was yesterday.

  “What is it?” I ask, wanting to know what it is now. I’m not a very patient person.

  “Just come out when you’re done, sweetie,” mom replies, shutting the door.

  Eager to know what it is, I hurry through the rest of my shower; I think I may have hit a world record for the quickest shower, at least for me. Throwing my hair up in a towel and putting my robe on, I rush out towards the kitchen. Turning the corner, I see a huge bouquet of roses sitting on the center island. Oh my god, they’re beautiful! There has to be at least three dozen roses!

  “I see you had a good night last night. You want to tell me who Nolan is?” my mother asks with a raised eyebrow.

  Oh my god, they're from Nolan? Eeek! I run over to grab the note that is sticking out of them, smelling the flowers before reading it.

  Overwhelmed with excitement, and in my own lala land, I forget that my mom asked me a question. “Alexa! Who is Nolan sweetheart?” my mom asks again, snapping me out of my gaze.

  “Huh? Sorry, I didn't hear you. What’d you say?” Still smiling like some lovesick puppy.

  “Are you going to tell me who this Nolan is?” she repeats with a chuckle.

  “Only the most amazing guy, ever! Amanda and I met him yesterday afternoon, and he met us at the club last night with some friends.”

  My mom sighs with a concerned look on her face. “Honey, just be careful. I’m sure he is a nice guy, but you just got out of a serious relationship. Don't you think it’s too soon to start dating again?”

  Maybe, but that doesn't mean I’m going to just walk away from something that feels unbelievably good.

  “I'm good, mom. Don't worry so much,” I tell her, giving her a hug.

  Scooping my flowers up, I run back to my room so I can call Nolan to say thank you. Lying down on my bed, I dial his number. He answers on the second ring. “Hey, doll.” I smile to myself, loving the sound of his voice and picturing his face and sexy grin when he answered.

  “Thank you for my flowers, they’re stunning.”

  “You're very welcome, I’m glad you like them. I had a great time with you last night.” He even sounds h
ot over the phone.

  Two hours later, we finally hang up. We make plans to go out to dinner tomorrow night since it’s already getting late. I have to work the mid shift tomorrow, but I should have enough time to come home and get changed before he picks me up.

  – COLLIN –

  It’s been two days since I saw Alexa in the club. Although she didn't deny whether she loved and missed me still, she did say that it didn't matter anymore. How can she say that? It's hard to forget someone that gave you so much to remember. I don't think I’ll ever get over Alexa; she’s always on my mind.

  What confuses me even more is that she has been posting things on Facebook about loving again, and not denying feelings. She hasn't posted anymore pictures and her relationship status still says single, so are these words meant for me? This girl is definitely screwing with my head. She tells me she needs space and that our feelings for each other don't matter anymore, but then she posts comments like that.

  WHAT DO YOU WANT ALEXA?

  Workouts have been going well; we don't discuss Alexa at all. After the night at the club, I think the guys are afraid to. They had the pleasure of watching me beat the shit out of my punching bag that night when we got home. Along with being anti-Alexa, we’ve been doing a lot of fishing and things we use to do back in the day, when girls didn’t rule our lives. My focus remains on football; it’s the only thing in my life right now that I have complete control over.