Planning on Forever

by Ashley Wilcox

  All of a sudden, on the last one, we hear a loud smack on the ground. All the cheerleaders immediately crowd around her. Feeling my stomach drop, I jump out of my seat and rush to the field, keeping my eyes fixed on the huddle the whole time; hoping to see one of her arms or legs move, indicating that she’s okay, but they never do. Pushing everyone aside, I make my way to where she is laying, lifeless. Making sure I don’t move her, I hold her hand and plead that she open her eyes.

  “Alexa, sweetheart… Can you hear me? It’s me, Collin. Open your eyes, baby. Open your eyes.” But she doesn’t. Not a flutter, twitch…nothing.

  Oh please, God. Please make her wake up. Please make her be okay. This cannot be happening right now.

  Hearing the ambulance make their way onto the field, I hold her hand tight, as they rush to her side.

  “Please, sir. You’re going to have to move,” one of the paramedics says to me.

  “No, I’m not letting go of her,” I say, leaving no room for discussion.

  Not bothering to argue, he continues to help the others put her neck in a brace, and move her onto a stretcher.

  “I’m here, Alexa. I’m not going anywhere,” I whisper in her ear as they start rolling her to the waiting ambulance.

  “I'm going with her!” I yell to the paramedic that’s about to shut the back doors on me, after they get her inside.

  “Are you family?” he responds, obviously annoyed.

  “They're not here...Please!” I beg. He sighs and looks at me for a minute.

  “Okay, hurry up and get in.”

  Without wasting another second, I jump in and sit next to her head, holding her hand again, and whispering to her that she’s going to be okay. She has to be okay. The paramedics get to work, taking her vitals, hooking her up to an IV, and putting an oxygen mask over her mouth. She looks so helpless.

  “Is she going to be okay?” I ask them.

  “We won't know until we get her to the ER.”

  Once the back doors to the ambulance open, they rush her through the emergency room doors. One of the nurses brings me to the waiting room.

  “We'll let you know as soon as we find anything out. Does she have family that you can call for her?” The nurse asks.

  “Yes…yes, I’ll call them,” I respond in a blur.

  Once I’m able to catch my breath and regroup, I call her parents. Luckily, I never did delete her father’s cellphone number out of my phone.

  “Collin?” her dad answers.

  “Yes, Hi Mister Arnold. It's Collin...Alexa has been in an accident...”

  “What? How… is she okay?” he questions, barely able to speak.

  “I don't know...she fell and hit her head during her routine... they just brought her back in the emergency room...I don't know anything yet.”

  “We’re leaving right now, but it's going to be a couple of hours before we get there,” he says, sounding flustered.

  “Don't worry Mister Arnold, I’m not going anywhere, and I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything.”

  Just as I am about to call the club where Nolan works, he comes flying through the entrance to the emergency room.

  “Where is she? My girlfriend, Alexa Arnold. She was just brought in. Where is she?” he yells, impatiently at the lady behind the desk.

  “Sir, you’re going to have to have a seat. We’ll let you know when we hear something.” she says in the most polite voice possible.

  “I need to see her, I need to be with her!” he demands.

  “I am very sorry, Sir, but no one can be back there with her right now.”

  Seeing that he’s not going to give up, I walk over to him to try and calm him down. As soon as he notices me, he turns and hugs me; clearly happy to see me.

  “Oh, thank god you're here man. What the hell happened?”

  I tell him as much as I know; how it happened, where it happened, and everything up until now.

  Rubbing his hands over his face, he says, “Jesus Christ. I should’ve been there!”

  “There’s nothing you could’ve done. It’s not your fault, and you’re here now,” I console, patting him on the shoulder.

  We sit there for what feels like hours with no news. Alexa's parents finally arrive along with Amanda and her boyfriend. Her parents fill out some paperwork, but aren’t given any more information on her status then we were given, which is nothing. Nolan doesn’t stop pacing the room, looking up at every person that walks by in nervous anticipation.

  “What is taking so long? Why hasn't anyone come out?” Nolan asks to no one specifically. Alexa's mom stands up and puts her arms around him for comfort. He instantly breaks down in her arms. “She has to be okay,” he whispers into her shoulder. You can’t help but feel awful for the man–he’s a wreck. There’s no questioning how much he loves Alexa. I don't know what I’d do if anything ever happened to Summer. I’d probably be acting the same way.

  Finally, a doctor in scrubs and a white jacket walks in the room. We all stand up, anxious to hear what he has to say. The doctor asks if they want to talk in the hallway, but her father tells him that it’s okay for all of us to hear.

  “Mister and Misses Arnold, your daughter has experienced a severe concussion. We did a CAT scan which fortunately came back showing no bleeding or cerebral swelling. Her vital signs are stable and strong. She did gain consciousness but was in quite a bit of pain when she woke; once we received her scan results and confirmed that everything looked good, we went ahead and gave her some pain medication. She is now resting comfortably and will be moved her into her own room soon. I'd like to keep her here for the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours for observation.”

  “Can we see her yet?” Nolan asks.

  “Yes, but while she is in the ER, we can only allow two visitors at a time. Once she is in her own room, it is up to the nurse’s discretion.”

  The doctor asks if there are any other questions. After everyone murmurs no, he walks away.

  We all sigh with relief. She's okay...She's going to be okay.

  – ALEXA –

  Opening my eyes, I see nothing but a blurry mess. Blinking again, everything slowly starts to come into focus.

  Where the hell am I? “Oh, sweetheart...” I hear, feeling my hand being squeezed.

  I try to lift my head, but it feels like a hundred pounds and aches like no other headache I’ve ever had. Beginning to freak out, I look around. There’s a machine beeping a god awful noise next to me, and a zillion wires and tubes going every which way.

  Oh my god, I’m in the hospital! What the hell is going on?

  “What happened?” I ask, seeing my mom sitting next to me, looking like she hasn’t slept in days. Ugh. My mouth feels like I’ve swallowed a handful of cotton balls.

  “You’re awake!” I see Nolan running into my room, carrying three coffees.

  Within seconds he’s at my bedside, holding my hand with one of his, rubbing my forehead with his other. Although I have no clue why I’m here, I’m so glad he’s here with me. Looking up at Nolan, I smile. Well, how can you not smile, seeing those captivating blue eyes, and perfectly sculpted face looking down at you? The monitor makes another god awful noise, sending the nurse running in.

  “Look who decided to make an appearance at her own party,” a cute, little nurse with the most gorgeous long red hair says.

  Politely nudging Nolan out of the way so she can check the monitor, she smiles, and says, “Looks like someone’s heart just skipped a beat,” grinning from me to Nolan. “How are you feeling, honey? Do you need anything? Pain medication, water?”

  “Um, my head really hurts and I’m really thirsty, but…what’s wrong with me?” I whisper, trying to avoid making my head hurt worse more than it already does.

  “Oh sweetie, you suffered a severe concussion. Everything looks okay, but you’re going to be feeling the aftermath of it for at least a few days. I’ll let your family fill you in on the other details while I go get you some water and medic
ation. My name is Jackie, if you need anything else, don’t be afraid to buzz me,” she responds, showing me the call button on the side of my bed.

  Although Jackie says I’m going to be fine, the way my mom, dad, and Nolan are crowding my bed, you’d think I’m about to take my last breath. The last thing I can remember before waking up in this bed, is being at homecoming, doing our half time show cheer and looking at Drake, one of the male cheerleaders, to see if he was okay. Shit! Did Drake drop me? Panicking, I look at my mom, and ask, “did I fall during our cheer?”

  “More like, dropped!” Nolan interrupts, or should I say, yells.

  “I knew something was wrong with, Drake,” I whisper, saying it more to myself than anyone else.

  “Wait! What’s the bastard’s name that did this to you?” Nolan asks, practically blowing steam out of his nostrils.

  “Nolan, dear, it was an accident. I’m sure the young man already feels awful,” my sweet mom chimes in.

  “She’s right, babe. Let it go.” I squeeze his hand, giving him a pleading smile.

  “But–”

  “Let it go, babe. It’s done and over with. I’m fine…look at me, I’m fine,” I interrupt him, tugging on his hand to look at me.

  Thankfully, Jackie comes back in the room, changing the topic. “Alrighty. Here’s some pain medication, and some water. Once these bad boys kick in, you’re gonna be exhausted, so make sure you allow yourself plenty of rest,” she says, handing me two pills in a plastic cup, and a pitcher of water.

  “You all should get some rest, too,” she adds, pointing to my trio of worry warts. “I’ll be back in a little bit, but don’t forget the buzzer if you need me.”

  Once Jackie leaves, my parents announce they’re following nurse’s orders, and are heading home to get some rest, but will be back later. They both hug and kiss me, say goodbye to Nolan, and then leave. Seeing Nolan still standing next to me, I give him a look, silently asking him if he’s leaving too.

  “No way, Doll. I’m not going anywhere,” he says, pulling up a chair. “I’m not leaving, unless you’re comin’ with me.”

  Although I can tell by the dark circles around his eyes that he is in desperate need of sleep, I’m secretly doing back flips inside, happy that he’s staying with me. Resting his lips on my hand, I can feel a tear drop on it.

  “Babe, why are you crying?” I whisper, attempting to lift my head off of my pillow.

  Looking up at me, he cups my cheek in his hand, and says, with tears falling freely down his face, “Last night, when I got here, and Collin told me you were unconscious, and then we didn’t hear anything for hours, I felt like my world was crashing down on me…I, I thought that I was going to lose you.”

  Fighting the pain, exhaustion, and dizziness, I sit up completely, pulling him into my arms. I know I have no control over what happened last night, and what he went through, but seeing him like this, seeing him so emotionally drained because of me, breaks my heart into a million pieces.

  “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you had to go through that,” I cry, holding him as tight as physically possible.

  Unwrapping my arms from around his neck, and laying me softly back down, he kisses my forehead. “You need to get your rest, my love. Close your eyes,” Nolan whispers, wiping the tears from my face, then his.

  “Lay with me,” I demand, wanting him to hold me, and knowing he needs the sleep, too.

  With no hesitation, he pulls off his boots, and climbs in under the covers, wrapping his arms securely around me. Kissing the back of my head, he whispers, “I love you. Don’t ever scare me like that again.”

  – NOLAN –

  Laying here, with Alexa in my arms, I can’t hold back the tears that I let slip earlier. The fact that I almost lost the best and most beautiful person in my life scares the living shit out of me; so much, that I can’t help but cry. I cry with sadness and with thankfulness. Thanking God for every answered prayer he has given me since the day I met Alexa and thanking God for giving me this beautiful angel, for making her love me the way I love her, for not taking her away from me too soon; I thank God for all of it.

  When I received the call from Trevor last night, telling me Alexa was hurt, I felt like my whole world was crashing down on me. Sure, I’ve had my share of pain and heart ache; I lost my parents in a horrific terrorist act. But hearing the words “your girlfriend (the love of your life) fell hard, and I don’t know if she’s okay,” brings a pain throughout you that I can’t explain. From the minute I hung up the phone, until the minute I heard that she was going to be okay, I think I died a hundred times. My mind imagined every awful scenario; all leading to me, in the end, without my love. Life without Alexa, is like not living at all. I can’t fathom it, nor will I ever allow it to happen.

  The fact that Collin was there for her and not me, almost sickens me the most. I’m supposed to be the one to love her, care for her, protect her, and be there when she falls, literally. Yea, of course, I’m happy that she at least had someone with her that loves her, someone that I can trust. But having it be her ex-boyfriend who once again rides in like her knight in shining armor, pisses the hell out of me.

  Once her parents allowed me in the emergency room, I never left Alexa’s side. I made a promise to myself in that moment; I will never let anything else happen to this beautiful girl again. She is mine to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, for all the days of our lives.

  Yes, I’m going to marry, Alexa. And, even without a ring on her hand, I plan on fulfilling those vows and those promises right now.

  “Babe...?”

  “I'm right here, doll,” I say, kissing her hand.

  “Have I been sleeping long?” she asks, not fully awake yet.

  “Just a couple of hours. What can I get for you, love?”

  “I’m a little hungry,” she answers, tilting her head back, and giving me the most adorable sleepy grin.

  “I'm on it.” I say, then kiss her head before heading for the cafeteria.

  “What's wrong? Is everything okay?” There are two doctors and a nurse hovering over Alexa when I walk back in with her food.

  They all turn around, startled by my barging in.

  “Babe, I'm fine. The doctor is just checking everything, and the nurse is about to take my catheter out so I can actually get out of bed,” she responds with a breathtaking smile.

  ”Everything is looking good, Mister Pratt. She should be able to go home tomorrow,” the doctor confirms, patting my shoulder as he walks by.

  Letting out a huge sigh of relief, I set the tray of food on the table next to Alexa’s bed.

  “Holy cow, did you bring me the whole cafeteria?”

  “Well, I didn't know what you were hungry for, so I just got a little bit of everything. I'll eat whatever you don't,” I tell her, feeling hungry myself.

  After we finish our lunch, the nurse gives her another round of pain medication, and before I know it, she is drifting off to sleep again.

  “Lay with me again. And this time, actually sleep,” she yawns, barely being able to keep her eyes open.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I joke, crawling into bed with her.

  “I know you, Pratt. Now get some rest since you start your new job as my nurse tomorrow.”

  God, I love her.

  – COLLIN –

  Once Alexa got into her room, and I knew she was going to be okay, I left her in Nolan's hands. I was itching to get to the bar to see my girl. It was just past midnight when I finally got there. As soon as Summer sees me walk through the doors, she runs out from behind the bar, and jumps into my arms. Feeling like a love struck idiot, my eyes well with tears, and my heart swells almost out of my chest.

  I’m so at this girl’s mercy, it’s not even funny.

  Picking her up and swinging her around, I smother her in kisses; making up for all the missed kisses since the last time seeing her.

  “Hello, my Beautiful Babe.” Yes, add that to the list
of corny things I do for this girl. During one of our many nights talking on the phone, we made up names for each other. She’s my Beautiful Babe and I’m her Sexy Stud. Corny, I know, but it has stuck and I love it.

  “Hello, my Sexy Stud,” she replies. Not gonna lie, I love my nickname.

  “Hey! There're some thirsty people over here, ya know!” her regulars yell from the bar.

  “Go on… Get back to work. It looks like you’ve been slackin’ out here,” I joke, motioning to all the empty glasses on the tables.

  “Oh shut it!” she yells as she walks back behind the bar.

  Fulfilling my boyfriend duties, I help pick up the empty beer glasses and bottles. Come hell or high water, we will be getting out on time. I’ve been looking forward to getting her home, and in bed with me since saying goodbye on Sunday. The distance, and not seeing each other is killing my heart.

  And my manhood.

  One year later…

  – ALEXA –

  Today is move in day. Nolan and I finally closed on our new home. After graduating from college in May, Nolan received his inheritance from his parent’s death. With some of that money, we purchased a home one block from his sister's house. We love the area. It’s so close to the club, coffee shop, and our favorite Italian restaurant; we are getting the feel of the city, but in a residential neighborhood.

  This fall, I started college at Syracuse University. Going against my parent’s wishes, I moved into Nolan's apartment after graduation. Although my parents wanted me to live on campus my first year, I couldn't stand the thought of not waking up next to Nolan every morning for even one more day.