Light the Hidden Things

by Don McQuinn

Martha glared. "Why? You said the little girl's taking good care of Major. I'd think they'd be glad to help him."

  "That's the whole thing. Like, he blames himself, you know? Jason - that's Amber's dad - practically begged Crow to stay. Got turned down flat. I told Crow he's a danger on the road. Like, he loses control of that pickup, he could kill someone. His answer for that is he'll just go far enough to find a place to hole up until he's better."

  Martha came out from behind the counter. She took Garza's elbow and steered him toward a table by the coffee machine where she filled two cups before sitting down. Garza, across from her, leaned forward. He said, "I'm afraid for him, ma'am. He's had other concussions, bad ones. Doc Newton checked. That makes this one all the more dangerous."

  "Can they take away his driver's license?"

  Garza's grin was twisted. "Wouldn't stop him. And, like Doctor Newton says, you can't lock a man up for what he might do. Didn't he say nothing about friends or family? He needs someone to kind of keep an eye on him. Support, like."

  Martha said, "Did you tell him he could kill Major as well as himself?"

  It took a startled moment for her to catch the bitterness in Garza's harsh laughter. He said, "You know what he told me? He said, 'We already rehearsed. We're as ready as anyone ever gets.'"

  There was a touch of admiration in it that infuriated Martha. "That's not even bull-headed. It's just stupid." She stood up and shouted toward the kitchen. "Estelle. I need you."

  A puzzled Estelle peered out. Martha told her, "I'm leaving for a while. You're in charge." Totally unaffected by Estelle's dropped-jaw amazement, Martha launched herself at the front door. Over her shoulder, she told Garza, "Don't just stand there, Hector. You're driving."

  He hurried after her, less surprised by her imperiousness than by the fact that she remembered his first name.

  * * * * *

  Lila watched the two cars turn into the graveled front of her home and felt a tiny jolt of dark, inexplicable fear. Like many fears, it energized her. She felt as if an opportunity had just presented itself, one packed with risk. Her heart seemed to add a series of rapid extra beats.

  Pastor Richard's tired old Chevy was the second car. He followed a later model Toyota.

  Coming onto the porch, Zasu barked and frisked excitement at visitors. Lila picked her up, held her close. She thought of Crow's arrival. Guard dog Zasu challenging Major. Crow himself, moving slowly, like he knew he was wound too tight and was determined that no one find out.

  She shook her head. This was too much like hearing voices. That disturbed moment of daydreaming when Crow left should have taught her to stay with the real world. Lila was determined she'd never play mind tricks like that on herself again. Not ever.

  It was a relief to see Martha get out of the Toyota. The older woman was just the person to understand emotional over-reaction and help defeat it.

  The driver was a stranger. Martha waved but waited for the Pastor to join her before moving toward the building. Lila put the squirming Zasu down to run to them. "Martha, Pastor; good to see you. What brings you out here?" She smiled at the younger man, including him in the welcome.

  Pastor Richards said, "I haven't the faintest idea. Martha called me at home. Said she'd swing by in this gentleman's car and I was to follow her. All very mysterious."

  Martha sent him a bogus glare. "When you're on a secret mission you don't just say everything on the phone. Anybody could be listening."

  Pastor Richards said, "I was listening. If I'm supposed to be a mystery man, shouldn't someone tell me what I'm being mysterious about? "

  Martha sniffed, then told Lila, "This is Hector Garza. He's a nurse from a clinic over on Kitsap Peninsula. He has a story you and Andy should hear."

  Confusion and curiosity checked Lila's welcoming manner. She recovered quickly and waved at the store. "A nurse? I don't understand. Would you like to come in, sit down?"

  Anticipation rumbled inside Lila while she led the way. It made her think of a parade, where the bass drum stopped right in front of her, every beat vibrating her blood. What was truly eerie about it, though, was the delicious blend of delight and apprehension that held her now.

  Martha was on Lila's heels when they stepped into the living room. Lila spun around at the older woman's hushed exclamation. Caught in her own thoughts, Martha stepped past Lila to center herself directly behind the two chairs at the fireplace. She put a hand on the back of one and pivoted to inspect the room. At last, beaming, she told Lila, "It's perfect. New furniture, new bookshelves. You saved these wonderful chairs, though, thank heaven." She looked away, the smile a bit forced now. "There was always a special feel in here. Maybe you sensed it as a little girl. I certainly did, back when I was a young bride." Suddenly almost fierce in her intensity, she locked her gaze on Lila's. "They loved each other so."

  Lila tried to respond. Martha overrode her. She said, "They were content. There's a word you hardly hear anymore. They had so little. At the same time, they had everything. This room - it knows that love. It won't ever let it go."

  For a moment Lila was caught up in the spell cast by Martha's memories. It lulled her into a world of comfort, yet one that spoke of an aching longing. She yanked herself out of that and hurried to seat her guests on the sofa while she pulled up an occasional chair to face them.

  Martha said, "Hector, tell them what you told me, please."

  Lila's certainty that the subject was Crow shocked her to hyper-attentiveness. Unconsciously, she leaned forward. When he was done with his story she couldn't find words for her feelings.

  Pastor Richards said, "That's terrible. When you see him, tell him we're all praying for his quick recovery. He and I - we seemed to hit it off. I could go back with you to visit. I could talk to him, perhaps settle his mind a little. I think he'd trust me."

  Martha spoke as if musing to herself. "Even if we managed to stay a day or two, that's not the answer. On the way here, Hector said it'd be weeks - maybe more than a month - before anyone could be sure Crow's out of trouble."

  Garza said, "Concussion's cumulative. Another injury..." He shook his head. "That could be very serious. And then..."

  Lila interrupted, speaking to Martha. "You got us all together because you have some sort of plan. What?"

  Surprised, Garza stared at the older woman. Pastor Richards was speculative. Martha met their looks with cool disdain before concentrating on Lila. "I had an idea, of course, dear. 'Plan' is too strong a word. I don't make plans where other people's lives are concerned." A quick turn of her head fired off another smile that broadsided the Pastor like a runaway train. "I think we have a Christian obligation to do whatever we can to help Crow, don't you?"

  Pastor Richards leaned back in his chair. "Oh, how often the phrase 'Christian obligation' makes me wish I knew more about exorcism."

  Martha looked down her nose. "Well, someone slept under the cranky bush last night, didn't they?" She reached to pat Lila's knee. "You'd never turn away from a person in need, would you? I couldn't."

  Pastor Richards straightened. "Hold on. I never said I..."

  Martha talked through his protest. "All I'm suggesting is we find a place nearby where he can live and recover. The three of us - and George - and Herman Odegaard; he met Crow - we could take turns visiting, just check in now and then. Maybe introduce some other folks - other members of the church board, the congregation; you know. Neighborly. Someone might even find light work for him - like Herman, with his woodworking. Or George; he's always needing part time people at the store so he can go give speeches."

  Lila's smile bent sideways under the weight of exasperation. She mimed wide-eyed questioning. "Let's all put on our thinking caps, shall we? Someplace quiet, out of town where he could park that Airstream? A place where he could putter? Where someone would be close enough to keep an eye on him, the way Hector said? Oh my; wherever would we even start to look?"

  Martha had the grace to look away and blush.

  Pastor
Richards said, "Good gracious, Martha, you've outdone yourself."

  "Oh, hush. It was just a thought."

  "A bad one. Well intentioned, of course, but out of the question."

  Lila said, "Martha, you darling. Your idea's exactly like you. The man's made himself into the perfect stranger and you still want to lead the charge to help him. You know how much I'd like to join you. But the Pastor's right. You know my situation. "

  Garza said, "Ms. Milam's right. Crow probably wouldn't stand for a deal like that, anyhow. Like, you folks only knew him for a couple days. He'd see it as charity, you know? He'd balk."

  The Pastor softened. "We all wish we could help, Martha. Mr. Garza's put his finger on the real issue, though. Crow wouldn't listen. Anyhow, in the end, Lila'd be doing almost all the caretaking. It sounds cruel to say it in so many words, but she can't be asked to jeopardize her happiness. After all, Crow's chosen to be what he is."

  Martha said, "It is cruel, Andy. I expected more charity from you."

  He flinched, then, "We have two people to think about. Should we risk Lila's peace of mind for a slim chance of helping Crow? Where's the charity in that?"

  Lila deliberately blocked out their argument. The whole matter of what she should or could do about Crow left her with a feeling she'd never had before. It went beyond sadness. She struggled to confront the feeling, thinking if she identified it perhaps she could better resist it.

  It was like being lost, as if she'd missed a turn in a road, yet she saw nothing that suggested any change in her direction. With her guest's conversation droning in the background, she fought the sense that something had been torn out of her life. And she didn't even know what.

  "Are you even listening to us?" Martha's peevish tone snapped Lila into the present. And irritated her. There was no question that Martha's plan was sweet. Possibly even had a hint of romance in it. Nevertheless, it was irrational. She told Martha so. "I have a life. So does Crow. So do you and Pastor Richards. George and Herman don't even know their names are flying around in here. We've stepped outside our bounds."

  For a moment Martha's jaw was set. Then she sagged, repentant. She levered herself off the sofa and walked to the twin chairs facing the fireplace. A hand on each, her back to the others, she said, "I know I'm a busybody. I don't care. I think most of the time it's a good thing. I guess you're right, though; sometimes I get carried away." She turned, her fingers trailing across the leather. "I have to make amends. I'm asking all of you to dinner tonight. I'll call George and Louise, Herman and Doris."

  Garza protested he should catch an early ferry. The Pastor and Lila both denied the need and objected to the extravagance. Martha was insistent. The Pastor was the first to surrender. "All right, all right; I'll take you up on it. As Oscar Wilde said, 'I can resist anything but temptation.'"

  Martha smirked. "Anyone who watched you bolt one of my Reuben sandwiches would know that." Then, to Garza, she said, "We'll eat early. You'll have to eat somewhere; it's a long trip back to Clallam Bay. My food's better than anywhere you'll stop. So you'll catch a later ferry. I don't see a wedding ring. You do your own cooking?"

  A bit dazed, Garza nodded. So did Martha, with far more vigor. "That settles it. You'll join us. We're having fresh wild-caught salmon. It'll knock your socks off. Andy, Lila - six o'clock, okay?

  They looked at each other, exchanged helpless shrugs. Lila said, "See you at six."

  Martha, back in form, eyes twinkling, gave Lila a quick hug and sped off. Garza hopped up and bounced out behind her like a large dinghy dragged along by a small yacht. The Pastor gave Lila a brief hug before leaving. Lila stood on the porch with Zasu, watching them go. The silence they left behind pressed against her. Normally she welcomed the quiet, the way it gave her thoughts freedom to wander. It was different this time. There was no freedom. Only an emptiness whispering of dangerous paths to uncertain destinations.

  Chapter 17

  Estelle poured Martha's coffee last. Martha raised it high. Tapping her water glass with a spoon, she quieted the gentle hubbub among the seven people at the table and offered a toast. "Here's to our plan, then, and such good friends and good people."

  The expressions of those looking back at her suggested dazed survivors rather than co-conspirators. Smiles tended to wobble. Tiny frown lines webbed foreheads. Murmured response had the sound of small animals scurrying.

  Coffee was sipped. Cups clinked back onto saucers. Conversation resumed. Herman told George, "I suppose I can help Lila some. I can at least teach her and this Crow fellow which end of the hammer to hang onto. You said she's done a world of work already. It really looks decent?"

  George put on a brave face. "Better than decent. I'm not worried about her - not as a worker. But if she can't get a loan..." He shrugged, then, "The problem's getting Crow over this concussion thing. Martha said keep him busy, but not too busy. Easier said than done. She's right, though; we can do it. Maybe he'll stay in Lupine long enough to be a voter. I'd bet he's a man lives up to obligations, you know?"

  Pastor Richards leaned closer to Garza. He muffled his voice with his hand. "Did you hear an unusually loud noise during dinner? Something ran over me tonight. Could have been a truck."

  Garza whispered back. "You guys actually live in the same town with her?"

  The Pastor said, "The Lord never gives us a heavier burden than we can carry, son. Between you and me, though, Martha's pretty close to the weight limit."

  Martha's voice rose again. "You're sure it's okay to use the church van tomorrow, Andy?"

  "There's just Herman and me; my car'll do. We'll be driving Crow's pickup back - maybe. Plenty of room."

  Sternly, Martha said, "He'll come. Do I have to lecture you about faith?"

  In the midst of the group's chuckling Lila said, "Let's be sure everyone understands the only reason I'm agreeing to let Crow stay on my property is because everyone's promised to visit him."

  Martha said, "Of course we do, dear. You'll see. We'll all pitch in. He'll grumble, but he knows he needs help. He'll welcome it."

  Lila said, "We don't know that. That's why I'm going with the Pastor." To the surprised Pastor she said, "He has to know the rules."

  Garza was already objecting. "I've said all evening you should all save yourself a trip. You're right about him needing help, but Crow's going to chew up this idea and spit it out."

  Martha said, "Hector, this isn't about who's right. It's about what's right." She turned her attention to Lila. "We know Crow's going to be difficult. We all agreed Pastor Richards is the best person to approach him. Herman'll be there with him. There's no need for you to take time away from your work."

  Lila said, "I'm going." To Garza, she added, "Please don't be offended, but I have to talk to your Doctor Newton. If I'm going to be living on the same property as a man with serious issues, I need serious reassurances to counter that. That's only fair, isn't it? I'm not afraid; I'm really not. I'm not gullible, either."

  "I'm not offended. I think I understand Crow better, but Doc's the guy who knows all the details. Personally, I think Crow will listen to you. He's got a soft streak he doesn't show much. Maybe that'll help you help him."

  An unfortunate warmth suddenly touched Lila's cheeks. Then she saw Martha's gaze sweeping toward her, a tsunami of discovery. When it touched the accursed warm area it seemed to pause before passing on. The idea - however farfetched - that the blush had caught Martha's attention set off more embarrassment, more heat, more confusion. Lila locked her elbows to keep her hands at her sides.

  Where'd that come from? And why? I don't give a whoop about Crow. Not personally, not that way. Everyone knows that. Oh, please - don't they?

  They're not staring. Not even Martha. No one noticed. Not really.

  Martha. She looked again.

  It's warm in here. That's all.

  This is just too ridiculous.

  Martha's smile was pure cane syrup. She said, "Lila can be very persuasive. Ask George: She not only ta
lked him into selling her a saw he didn't want her to have, but after she did it, he threw in lessons."

  There was general laughter and George said, "Can't have my customers making a mess."

  Herman said, "I agree with Hector. If Crow needs persuading, we should send the Pastor and Lila. I enjoyed meeting him; I'm afraid I did most of the talking, though."

  Beside him, his wife said, "We knew that, dear."

  A good tactician will capitalize on the unexpected. Martha raised her coffee cup again. "Herman, you and Hector and Lila are absolutely right. Of course, Lila and Andy are our 'A Team.'" The group joined in the toast.

  A half-hour or so later Lila stood arm-in-arm with Martha and watched the last of the party leave. Herman and Doris's car hardly cleared the curb before Martha's troubled attitude broke free. "I'm worried about this trip, dear. Crow could misunderstand your motives. Things could get complicated. Everyone knows Van's very interested in you and everyone also knows you haven't exactly poked him in the eye with a sharp stick. We don't need any false impressions messing up any lives. Especially yours."

  Lisa laughed. "I don't have time to worry about a relationship. Most certainly not with that man. I've barely known him a couple of hours. One problem, he's gone."

  "I'll remind you of that if I have to. Remember what Andy Richards said when he finally saw I was right about trying to help Crow? 'Let all your things be done with charity.' That's the problem for women, though; sometimes we give too much. If we give until we destroy the giver, everyone ends up with nothing."

  "There's no charity. Please, don't say that. Even if he lets us help, he'll be out of here as soon as he thinks he's good to go. And while I'm being honest, I think this whole idea's a crock. I'll do my best, but just so you know."

  Martha squeezed Lila's arm. "Trust me; you'll look back on this and be glad you did it."

  "You. You're an incurable busybody and so goodhearted you bring out the best in the rest of us. We must all be nuts, because we love you."

  Martha's wave was both goodnight and pleased embarrassment.