Emma's Secret

by Steena Holmes

  Marie’s head dipped low as she nodded in agreement. Emma beamed, threw her arms around Peter, and held on tight. Megan looked up and caught the smile Sherri gave her.

  “She’s really all right, isn’t she? I was so worried.”

  Something registered in Megan’s mind. A phrase Detective Riley had said a couple of times. If it hadn’t been for the neighbor…

  “You were the one who told the officer about Emma, weren’t you?”

  Sherri nodded. She cocked her head and stepped to the side, away from the girls. Megan noticed that Hannah moved her body so that she stood between Emma and Megan, almost as if she were also trying to shield her sister from overhearing their conversation.

  “Dottie had just had her stroke, and Jack needed to go to the hospital. I offered to have her stay overnight with us. It was Marie who noticed Emma’s image on the flyer that came in the paper that day. When the officer came to the house asking about Jack, I knew I had to say something. The resemblance was too much to ignore. I’m so sorry that I didn’t notice right away. I should have. The signs were all there, now that I look back. Of course, Matt, my husband, tells me there was no reason to suspect anything.”

  “Signs? What do you mean?”

  Sherri shook her head. “Nothing major, just little things. Dorothy was overprotective of Emma. It took me a lot to convince her to let Emma come and play with the kids I take care of. Emma was very sheltered.” Sherri shrugged her shoulders. “She didn’t recognize some of the kids’ programs on the television, so I knew she didn’t watch much. I wasn’t sure, though, whether some of the issues were due to Dorothy’s dementia or whether she was just an overprotective grandmother.”

  Megan bit her lip. “She wasn’t Emma’s grandmother.”

  Sherri nodded. “I know. I’m sorry.”

  One question continued to plague Megan, and finally she could have it answered.

  “Was she happy, though? I mean…”

  Sherri reached out and touched Megan’s arm. A tender smile covered her face. “Yes. Quiet and seemed okay to play by herself, but yes, she was always a happy girl. And she loved Daisy. Does she still have her?”

  Megan nodded, thinking about the dog Emma refused to let out of her sight for the first few weeks after she came home.

  Sherri sighed. “Oh, good. I think that dog was her lifeline. She used to talk about how much she missed you, you know? She talked about you as if you were in heaven, especially toward the end, right before you came and got her.”

  Megan’s face blanched. “She thought I was dead?” Of course she did. Megan knew that. Or thought she did. But to hear it confirmed…it hurt. Really hurt. The emotional trauma her daughter must have experienced. How did a child that young recover from believing her mother was dead?

  “She used to draw you pictures all the time. Does she still do that?”

  Peter stood and placed his arm around Megan. It was amazing how the body reacted to shocking news. The sun beat down on her, and she was sure she’d be as red as a lobster tonight, since she forgot to put sunscreen on, yet shivers ran down her body as if a cold northern wind blew directly on her.

  “That much hasn’t changed. Emma still loves to draw,” Peter replied for her.

  Megan had so many questions. She felt as if she too had been given a lifeline. An insight into her daughter’s life while she lived on the farm. All those questions that plagued Megan in the middle of the night—Where had Emma slept? Did she cry herself to sleep? How did the other woman discipline her?—now she might have at least some of them answered.

  “Listen, I’m sure you have lots of questions. Why don’t we schedule a playdate for the girls, and I’ll try to answer as much as I can.”

  Megan nodded, a smile slowly growing on her face as she stared into Sherri’s eyes and realized this woman understood. “That would be lovely.”

  “Ms. Sherri?” Emma had turned and was tugging on Sherri’s arm. Megan could see the questions in Emma’s eyes, and for a split second, she wished she could stop time. She wasn’t sure what Emma was going to say. “Ms. Sherri? Did you know my grandma is in heaven?”

  Megan listened to the quiet chatter coming from the family room while she wiped down her kitchen counters. Peter was outside cleaning up the barbecue from dinner, and Megan was just waiting for the coffee to finish before she joined him outside.

  She swirled the cloth in a circular motion on the counter, letting her thoughts drift back to this afternoon. Meeting Sherri had been a godsend. Sherri had managed to deflect Emma’s questions, and they scheduled a time to meet the next day. A bubble of excitement welled up inside Megan.

  The rest of their day at the beach had been relaxing. Peter stayed longer than he’d intended, and it was nice. He’d kicked off his shoes, rolled up his pants, and dug into the sand with the girls as they worked on their sand castle. Megan lay back on the towel and soaked in the sun, letting its warm rays seep into her bones. She even drowsed for a bit before Peter nudged her, needing to return to the office. They’d stayed at the beach for as long as they could before it was time to race home and start dinner.

  Emma had loved the beach. She asked the entire way home when they could go back. Megan couldn’t keep the smile off her face. There was a twinkle in her daughter’s eyes that she hadn’t seen before. She wanted to believe it was due only to her time at the beach, but deep down Megan knew it was also from seeing Sherri and her daughter again.

  The smell of coffee filled the air. Megan sniffed, loving the aroma. At the same time, Peter opened the screen door and poked his head inside. “Is the coffee done?”

  Just as she was filling their cups, a large crash sounded in the family room, followed by a sharp wail from Emma. Megan set the coffeepot down and rushed to see what was wrong.

  Alexis stood in the middle of the room with her hands on her hips. She was scowling at Emma, who sat huddled against the couch, her knees tight against her chest while she rocked back and forth. She raised her face, and Megan caught sight of the tears in her eyes. Emma pushed herself up from the floor, launched herself at Megan, and wound her arms tightly around Megan’s legs moments before she buried her head and sobbed.

  Bewildered, Megan automatically rubbed Emma’s back and stared at her middle daughter. “What’s going on?”

  Alexis shook her head, as if disgusted with what she just witnessed.

  On the floor at their feet were scattered toys. Little pony pieces and dollhouse furniture lay in disarray.

  “Alexis, I asked you a question.” Megan lowered her voice but continued to rub Emma’s back. Her youngest daughter’s sobs had quieted, but her strong grip remained.

  “Nothing.” Alexis lowered her head.

  Megan snorted. “Really? So why is your sister crying?”

  Alexis threw her arms up in the air. “Because that’s what she always does when she doesn’t get her way. She freaks out.”

  Megan’s brows rose. Since when did Emma freak out like this?

  “I knew you wouldn’t believe me.” Alexis dropped to her knees and began to pick up the scattered toys and toss them into a bin they had brought down from Emma’s room.

  “I never said I didn’t believe you. But what happened?” Megan reached for Emma’s hands and pulled them away from her body. She gently touched Emma’s chin and raised her face.

  “Emma?” It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out.

  Emma only shook her head. Megan brushed her fingertips across Emma’s cheeks.

  “She wanted to play a different game, and when I said no, she threw a fit and wrecked the house I’d built. She’s such a baby.” Alexis glared at her younger sister before picking up the now-filled toy bin and dropping it on the coffee table.

  “That’s not true.” Emma glared at her older sister.

  “Are you calling me a liar?” The shock on Alexis’s face almost seemed real.

  If there was one thing she knew about her daughters, it was that Alexis had a quick temper and
was more prone than Emma to outbursts like what had just happened.

  “No one is calling anybody in this room a liar.” Megan planted a light kiss first on Emma’s forehead and then on Alexis’s. “Can we just try to play together? Please? Without any fighting or arguing?” She waited for the brief nod from Alexis before she noticed Peter standing in the doorway holding the coffee cups in his hands. He held one out to her.

  “Crisis averted?” he asked as she brushed by him. Megan shrugged her shoulders before sipping her coffee and heading to the sliding doors.

  “Coming outside?” she called over her shoulder. Peter still stood in the doorway, his back toward her as he watched the girls. Emma walked out of the room carrying the bin of toys, while Alexis dropped onto the couch and reached for the remote control.

  “Where’s Hannah?” Peter glanced over his shoulder at her. If she wasn’t shadowing Emma, then she could probably be found in her room listening to her music or reading a book. She said as much to her husband before she went on the porch and settled onto the porch swing.

  The gentle breeze in the air felt refreshing against her skin. Her chest and shoulders were probably burned, since she’d forgotten to apply sunscreen. No, she laughed to herself, she just hadn’t bothered.

  Peter stepped outside and headed her way. He eased down on the seat beside her and held the coffee between his hands. She caught sight of his wedding ring and thought about their marriage. The odds had been stacked against them. Families torn apart by a kidnapping rarely stayed together. She was very thankful they had made it this far. Their life wasn’t perfect, and their marriage was still shaky, but there was hope for them.

  “Did you find her?” Megan asked.

  Peter nodded his head. “She was on the phone with one of her friends. She’ll probably come down soon asking if she can play over at their house tomorrow.”

  Megan cocked her head. “Which one?” It was nice to see Hannah interacting with friends again.

  Peter shrugged. “Not sure. You should let her, though.” He took a sip of his coffee.

  Megan rubbed the back of her neck. “I wanted to thank you for not getting upset with me earlier today when I freaked out.” It meant a lot to her that he didn’t blame her for taking her eyes off Emma. More than she imagined it would.

  “Why would I have been upset?”

  “Because I wasn’t watching the girls like I should have been.” Megan raised her mug to her lips.

  Peter huffed and reached for her hand. “You can’t watch her every moment of the day. I know you feel like you have to, that you’re worried she’s going to disappear again. I worry too. But at some point, we have to let her…just be a kid.”

  Megan squeezed his hand. “I don’t know if I can. All I did was turn my back, and we ended up living in hell for two years, not knowing what happened to her. I’m not sure I can stop watching her. I need to make sure she’s always here, safe.”

  “I trust you, Megan.”

  Megan choked up at his words. Part of her didn’t feel worthy of his trust. She didn’t trust herself.

  “What’s going on with you and Alexis lately?”

  Megan struggled to follow his line of thinking. What was with the change in subject?

  “I don’t know. Maybe you should ask her.”

  “I have. But I’m asking you.” Peter unwound his fingers from hers and wrapped them around his coffee mug.

  “I don’t know, Peter. If I did, don’t you think I’d be doing everything I could to fix it?” Why did she get the feeling this conversation wasn’t going to go well?

  An uneasy silence settled between them. Peter leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. His head hung down before he glanced up and studied her.

  “I actually don’t think you would.”

  Megan was jolted back at his words. Was he serious? How could he say that?

  “I think it’s easier for you to ignore what’s happening right in front of you. It’s what you’ve done for the past two years. You get so focused on one thing that you lose sight of everything else.”

  Megan’s lips widened in surprise. “That’s rich, coming from you. You’re hardly ever home, so how would you know?” Anger boiled inside of her. How dare he accuse her like that?

  Peter sat back and sighed. “You’re right. And I plan to change that. But Alexis talks to me, so I do know.”

  “Know what? That I’m a horrible mother? That I ignore her and give all my attention to Emma? That I’d rather put a Band-Aid on the rift growing between us than sit down and deal with it?” She leaned back and closed her eyes.

  The swing they sat in moved, and Peter’s knee bumped into hers. She peered at him beneath her lashes, expecting to see something other than the compassionate look he gave her.

  “No, Meg, you’re the best mother I know. We just have a very sensitive daughter who is feeling neglected. And we’re both at fault. I think we assumed that our family would be completely healed with Emma being home. And that hasn’t exactly happened yet.”

  No, they weren’t healing the way they should be. Megan knew that. Maybe it was because she thought it would happen in time and was too focused on helping Emma. That was her fault. The family wasn’t on the top of her priority list, and that was where she was failing as a parent.

  “You ever feel like no matter how much you try, no matter how much you change, it’s never going to be enough?” She cleared her throat and wiped away the tears that trickled down her face.

  Peter wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close.

  “All the time.” He leaned his head against hers. “Maybe it’s because we’re both trying to do it on our own instead of together.”

  That was the problem. They weren’t together in this. Instead of standing beside her and dealing with the attitude she was getting from Alexis, he stood there and watched, and then blamed her for not caring enough to actually deal with the issues. She wasn’t blind. She saw how angry her daughter was, how hurt she felt. She was just at a loss on how to handle it anymore. Nothing she did was good enough.

  But instead of telling Peter this, Megan kept quiet. Just one more battle she wasn’t ready to face. One more battle she wasn’t ready to lose.

  Maybe, if she left it alone and gave it more time, the issue between them would heal itself. Wishful thinking, but right now, that was all she had enough strength for.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Megan rushed around the house, cleaning an already spotless kitchen, entranceway, and family room. When Sherri arrived, they sat outside on the back deck and let the kids play.

  There was an awkward silence as the two women sat at the patio table. Hannah and Alexis were at friends’ houses, and the women’s eyes were on Emma and Marie, who played with Daisy on the grass. The peals of laughter coming from both girls filled the backyard. Megan wished she could bottle and keep that sound forever.

  She caught the sidelong glances Sherri gave her, but she wasn’t ready to start the conversation. Megan crossed her legs and rubbed her fingers. She was thankful that the woman was waiting for her to be ready, except Megan wasn’t sure she ever would be.

  “Your daughter is beautiful.” Megan finally broke the silence.

  Sherri nodded. “Thank you. She’s a real treasure.”

  Megan poured fresh iced tea into their glasses. Her hands shook. Here was the one person who could answer the multitude of questions she had, so why couldn’t she think of even one?

  “I’m sure you have so many questions to ask and you’re not sure where to start.” Sherri raised her glass and took a sip.

  The compassion in her eyes was almost Megan’s undoing. She gazed out at the girls and watched how they played.

  Megan cleared her throat a few times and then rubbed at the base of her neck. She asked the one question that meant more than the world to her: “You mentioned at the beach that Emma was quiet…”

  Sherri’s shoulders relaxed as a smile crossed her face. “Very, but every
time I saw her, there was a smile on her face.”

  Megan cocked her head. “But how quiet? Did she talk much or was she just shy?”

  When Sherri pursed her lips, there was a tightening in Megan’s heart. This was it. This was the bad news she’d anticipated. This was the nightmare she didn’t want to know but needed to hear—that Emma hadn’t been fine during those two years when she had been kidnapped.

  “She was lonely. I try to stay tuned to children’s moods. Emma always had a smile on her face and a light in her eyes, but you could tell she was sad. I thought it was her lack of friends, so I would ask Dorothy all the time if Emma could come over and play. But now…now, when I look back, I know she was missing you. I wish—we didn’t move in until last summer—but I wish I had realized sooner what had happened.” Sherri reached out and covered Megan’s hands. “I’m so sorry.”

  Megan shook her head. “Don’t apologize. Please. You were the one who made it possible for Emma to come home to us. And you gave her a friend. Please don’t ever apologize.” Tears gathered in her eyes as she squeezed Sherri’s hand. She owed this woman the world.

  “The girls get along really well,” Sherri said. “You almost wouldn’t know they haven’t seen each other for a while.”

  Megan leaned back in her chair. “Did you spend much time with the family who took Emma?” She wasn’t sure if she really wanted to know whether they were the monsters she’d made them out to be.

  Sherri scooted her chair back and crossed her legs. “Not much. I invited them over for some homemade iced tea once, but I don’t think it was one of Dorothy’s good days, and with all the kids running loose in my home, I’m afraid our visit was cut short.”

  “So you didn’t see them much?”

  “Oh, no, I saw them lots.” Sherri pulled her hair into a ponytail before taking another sip of her drink. “Dorothy was always out in her vegetable garden, and Jack could usually be found puttering around their yard. Emma was always outside, especially after Daisy arrived. I don’t think she watched much television at all.” She frowned. “Not like my own daughter.” Megan was startled by the intense look in Sherri’s eyes.