Shameless

by Lex Martin

  She holds up her hands. “Kidding. God, you should see your face!” But then she stops laughing. “Your eyes are kind of puffy.” She kisses my forehead and whispers, “I’m sorry you look like shit for the holidays.”

  “You were such a sweet baby. What happened?”

  “You adore me. Admit it.” Then she tucks herself under the blanket and spoons me.

  We lie there and listen to the festivities in the other room.

  “So you love this Brady guy, huh?”

  I sigh. “Yes.”

  “Enough to have his babies and live on a farm and go all Laura Ingalls Wilder?”

  “The chick from Little House on the Prairie?” I mull that over. “They didn’t have running water. So I’d say yes, but I need indoor plumbing.”

  She snickers. “Please tell me Brady is hotter than Almanzo. He was kind of douchey.”

  “It was that awful haircut.”

  “Hmm. Yeah.” She snuggles closer and sticks her cold nose in my neck. “So if Brady were to show up on a horse, all white knight and shit, you’d forgive him for letting you go?”

  Another deep sigh leaves me. “There’s nothing to forgive.”

  “So you’re not mad at him?”

  “God, no. I just wish things were different. That he didn’t have to go back to Boston. But I knew what I was getting into. He was always honest with me.”

  “It still sucks hairy balls, though.”

  “Yeah. It does.”

  We spoon in silence, and I have to admit it’s nice having my sister comfort me. Makes the ache in my chest a little less acute. Less like I’m getting sliced repeatedly and more like I’m bleeding out from one gaping wound.

  After a few minutes, she crawls out and declares that it’s time to stop moping. “Mom says dinner is on at seven. You should shower too because you kinda stink.”

  When I don’t move, she drags my comforter off my body. “Shower,” she demands. “Now!”

  As I drag my listless body out of bed, I mumble, “Geez, you’re bossy.”

  The smile on her face is priceless. “Learned from the best, homie.”

  59

  Katherine

  I glance down at my jeans and flannel and then look around. Everyone is dressed up today, and the house is packed. Someone must have brought some firecrackers because I don’t remember the last time this many people came over.

  “Why are y’all wearing ties?” I ask my uncles as I hug them one by one.

  Tío Chuey glances at my mom and then back to me and shrugs. “Just came from Mass. You shoulda come too, my little heathen.”

  “You went to church for New Year’s Eve service? I thought you only did Christmas?”

  “Nah, I do all the major holidays. The cute ladies host a big potluck after.” He waggles his eyebrows.

  Ew.

  I pat his big belly. “Looks like you’ve been indulging.”

  “You know it!”

  I laugh and kiss his chubby cheek. I’m greeting the rest of my relatives when my uncle herds me toward the end of the extended dining room table and then calls out to my parents.

  “Sit,” my mom barks, pointing to me and then the place setting in front of me.

  Tori saunters over and pulls out my chair. Leaning over to her, I whisper, “Is it my imagination or is everyone acting weird?”

  “Our family is weird. You just never realized it.” Then she pretends to fellate a celery stick, but nobody seems to notice that my sex-obsessed little sister is being a total pervert.

  Slouching in the chair, I wait for the rest of the family to grab a seat and for my mom to give the go-ahead to pass around the casserole dishes that fill the table. Except everyone keeps standing. And staring. At me.

  Why do I feel like I’m in the middle of a Twilight Zone episode?

  My mom moves next to my dad, who clears his throat. “It’s real good to have everyone here today. Margie and I are blessed y’all could make it.”

  What the?

  This is so strange. “Tor, seriously. Why is Dad being so formal?” I whisper.

  She winks at me and motions for me to pay attention.

  My dad shifts uncomfortably, and I’m afraid he’s gonna tell us he lost his job or has cancer. Mentally, I start calculating how much money I have in the bank to pay their rent.

  “Margie and I are so grateful to have Katherine home with us.” Everyone turns to stare at me again, and I give an awkward wave. “In a few hours, it’ll be a new year, and we wanted to kick it off with something good.”

  He pulls out a big black bag and motions toward me. “I’m sure everyone knows that my daughter is an incredibly talented public relations and marketing… type person.”

  Poor Daddy. I smile. He’s trying so hard.

  He clears his throat. “But did you know she’s also very talented with perfumes and making bath soaps and lotions? What do they call that oil stuff, Margie?”

  “Essential oils.”

  “Yes, essential oils. Katherine is real good with essential oils.”

  Where the hell is he going with this?

  Dad slowly unzips the bag. “In fact, she made all of these products.” He pulls out some soap and lotion and bath gel.

  From the farm.

  My mouth drops open, but I can’t speak.

  He gives me a little smirk. “And I have enough for everyone to take home some of these beautiful… productos. It’s a belated Christmas gift from a family friend.”

  “Dad, where did”—I swallow hard—“where did you get that?”

  The chair next to me scrapes the floor and a familiar deep voice rumbles in my ear, “From me.”

  Chills break out on my arms, and I close my eyes.

  You know that feeling you get when you’re at the top of a rollercoaster, about to take the plunge? That moment where you’re not sure you’ll survive if you move forward but certain you can’t go back?

  My heart is in my throat when I turn and see those black jeans.

  I look up until I reach those intense green eyes and Brady’s beautiful face. Izzy grins in his arms, and I launch out of my seat and into their embrace.

  My family is aww-ing and ooh-ing and clapping behind me. I ignore them and bury my face in Brady’s neck.

  He’s here.

  Blinking back the heat in my eyes, I kiss Izzy, who claps and squeals.

  “Missed you guys,” I sniffle.

  One of my aunts reaches for the baby, and the moment both of his arms are free, Brady lifts me into another hug.

  “What are you doing here?” I whisper as I fight back the tears.

  His hand sweeps through my hair, and he says the sweetest words I’ve ever heard. “Had to come get my girl.”

  As he sets me down on the floor, all of the reasons we couldn’t be together come rushing back to me. “Aren’t you leaving?” I ask, my voice wobbly with emotion. “Aren’t you selling the farm? What about your family?”

  For a moment, all I see is him. The sounds of my family fade in the background as he cradles my face in his calloused hand.

  “I can’t go, Kat. Not with you here. Because you’re my family now too.”

  My knees go weak and I grip his shoulders. He smiles, dimple and all. “I love you, Kat. I love you so damn much, I can’t breathe without you. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. Hell, I can barely function. When you’re with me, I love the farm and all the broken things I have to fix and those scary-ass chickens and that ridiculous raccoon.”

  A ripple of laughter sounds around us, but I’m riveted by the look in his eyes. He shrugs. “I don’t have answers. I don’t know how I’m going to help my parents or save the farm. Trust me when I say nothing makes sense in my life. Nothing but you. So no, I’m not leaving, not if you’ll have me. And maybe you can help me figure out a way to keep the house for Izzy.”

  Tears are streaming down my face when my sister yells, “Would you kiss him already before he changes his mind?”

  Everyone laughs,
and I lean up on my toes and wrap my arms around his neck. “I love you too, Brady. But I kinda think I have for a while.”

  “Thank God.” He chuckles, looking relieved. He brushes my hair out of my face and leans closer to rub his nose against mine. “What do you say? Wanna help me make a go of it on the farm?”

  I fight a smile. “Only if you promise me one thing.”

  “Whatever you want.”

  “You gotta give Texas football a chance.”

  He rolls his eyes with a laugh and nods. “Well, if my parents disown me, we know you’re to blame.”

  And then he kisses me while my family hoots and hollers around us.

  60

  Katherine

  The next afternoon, I bounce Izzy in my arms as we hug my family goodbye and load up Brady’s truck. As it turns out, my sneaky parents hid Brady and the baby in their bedroom for an hour last night so they could surprise me.

  Once we’re on the road, I let out a big breath. While I’ve enjoyed seeing my family and introducing Brady to everyone, I’m really glad to finally be alone with him. After dinner and fireworks last night, he and Izzy slept in Tori’s room, and my sister bunked with me. And then we had another big family breakfast this morning, so we really haven’t had more than a few minutes alone since he arrived last night.

  There’s no use in trying to hide the huge smile on my face as I watch him drive. “I can’t believe you drove all this way with Izzy.”

  He glances at her in the rearview mirror. “I told her we were coming for you, and it’s the strangest thing—I swear she really understood.”

  Shifting in my seat, I turn back to her and grin. “Missed you, mamacita.”

  Izzy holds out her arms and yells my name.

  “Sweetie, when we stop in a little while, I’ll get you out of your car seat and hold you.”

  Brady shakes his head. “She missed you like crazy. I’m lucky she’s even talking to me at this point. Swear she was pissed at me for days.”

  “Aww, Izzy, don’t be mad at your uncle, but thanks for the solidarity, babe.”

  Izzy smiles back at me, and Brady shakes his head with a laugh.

  I shift my attention back to him. “For real, though, I can’t believe my whole family helped you. How did you do this? When?”

  “Last few days. Since someone wasn’t picking up the phone, I had to get crafty.” He shoots me a dirty look.

  “I’m sorry. I left my charger at the farm and was too depressed to motivate and buy another one. But how did you track me down?”

  He gives me a big, stupid grin. “I sweet talked Mrs. Mac for your number in Corpus. But first she yelled at me for being a dumbass and not chasing after you sooner.”

  “That was sweet of her.”

  He laughs again.

  Reaching over, I run my hand against his smooth jaw, still missing him so much even though he’s sitting right next to me. “You shaved.”

  “I was meeting your parents. Damn right I shaved.” A silly smirk tilts his lips. “I’m maybe even thinking I won them over a little.”

  “I’m shocked you softened them up so quickly, but I guess I shouldn’t be. You are very charming.” I swear my mom fluttered around him.

  “Truthfully, I’m a little stunned your dad didn’t try to put my balls in a nutcracker. He sounded like a scary dude on the phone when we talked a few days ago. But I like that he’s protective of you, so I understand.”

  “I saw him pull you aside before we left. What did he say?”

  “That it meant a lot to him that I cared enough to drive all that way. I mean, of course I made the drive. I’d do it all over in a heartbeat.”

  I love you. The emotion swells in my chest. “My dad really doesn’t warm up to people that quickly. I’m so glad you guys hit it off.”

  I’m feeling dumb for thinking my parents wouldn’t give him a chance. Although I do think our conversations over the last week have made them rethink how close-minded they’ve been.

  And then I tell him what’s been weighing on my heart since I left the farm. “I’m sorry for taking off like that.”

  “I didn’t exactly make a convincing argument about why you should stay. Then you were gone.” His voice drops to a whisper. “And it fucking wrecked me.” He reaches over and threads his fingers through mine. “I love you, Kat. I should’ve told you before you left.”

  Everything in me feels jittery, pumped with elation and hope and a little fear. I blurt the words before I have time to censor myself. “Is this crazy? Is this too fast? You’re turning your whole life upside down to stay here. Are we insane?”

  He looks over with nothing but confidence and adoration in his eyes. “No, this isn’t crazy.” His thumb strokes my hand gently. “My brother said he loved Mel after knowing her for seven days, and I’m starting to see the wisdom behind the things he went after. You and I have been taking the slow route in comparison.” He glances over again. “Cal and Mel were happy, right? And in love?”

  “Madly in love.”

  “Which sums up how I’m feeling about you. So maybe this is unconventional, but it feels right, doesn’t it?”

  My heart is a jet airplane taking off into the sunset. “Yes, it feels right.”

  “So there’s our answer.” A hint of concern etches his brow. “Look, let’s see how we get along when we’re not dealing with so much traumatic shit. You don’t have to pledge your undying love and loyalty to me... yet.” He glances over with a wink. “But I think we have something special.”

  Feeling a little choked up, I nod.

  He leans over for a sweet kiss and smiles. “Our home isn’t the same without you, babe.”

  Home.

  No word has ever sounded so good.

  61

  Brady

  When my tires finally hit the gravel on our driveway, I couldn’t be more relieved. It’s been torture being around Kat and not be able to touch her. Really touch her.

  My hand pats the pocket on my coat jacket. I brought her Christmas present with me just in case I had to go into full-scale grovel mode, but decided to wait until we got home to give it to her.

  As we unload the truck, I watch her as she hugs Izzy, and my head goes a little fuzzy with emotion. Because I love my girls so damn much.

  Kat’s the light at the end of this dark tunnel, one I’ve been traveling since before my brother died. I hadn’t realized it, but I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t complete. In fact, at the time I couldn’t even tell you what I was missing.

  When I unlock the front door, I kiss Kat’s temple and take the baby from her arms so I can get Izzy ready for bed. Which can’t come soon enough, because if I have to wait one more minute to be alone with Kat, I might lose my mind.

  As I’m heading down the hall, I hear her gasp, and I turn to see her in the kitchen in front of several drawings I did of her. She’s holding the image of her sleeping, curled up in bed with a sheet draped over her.

  She looks at me with tears welling in her eyes. “They’re beautiful.”

  “What can I say? I missed you. A lot. I even recycled while you were gone.”

  “Aww! Really?”

  She grins up at me, and I kiss her forehead. I have to admit I appreciate how easy it is to please her.

  Izzy yawns in my arms and rubs her eyes.

  “Let me get this baby to bed, and I’ll be out in a minute.”

  Izzy is wiped from the road trip, so it doesn’t take long after I tuck her in before she’s asleep. Once she’s snoring softly, I head out of the nursery on a mission, because I’m dying to get my hands on Kat. I hear her using the sink in the bathroom, and when the door opens, I yank her into me, and she laughs.

  “Shh. Don’t wake the baby,” I mumble against her lips.

  “Mmm.”

  Her whole body melts into me, and although I’m desperate to connect with her in a very naked and horizontal way, I want to give her a Christmas gift.

  With an arm around her shoulder, I maneuver her
to the living room, next to the Christmas tree.

  “I’m sorry for being an ass last week. For putting work first.”

  Pushing up onto her toes, she kisses my jaw as she winds her arms around my neck. “You don’t have to apologize. We both made mistakes and withdrew. I guess I got afraid. I knew I had promised to keep this casual, and then suddenly nothing about what we had seemed casual. And, well, I’ve only been in two relationships, and only one was serious.”

  I can’t help the surprise on my face. “Really?”

  She nods, a shy smile on her lips. “Really.”

  As I sit on the couch, I tug her into my lap. Fuck, she smells good. I breathe into her hair. “What else do I need to know?” All of a sudden, I’m nervous about what I want to ask. “Did you love him? Your ex?”

  She takes a deep breath. “At the time I thought I did. But when I compare my feelings for him to what I feel for you, it’s no contest. You’re the World Series. He was Little League.”

  I bark out a laugh. “You’re so perfect for me.”

  But she’s not laughing. In fact, her eyebrows furrow. “So I need to tell you something, and you might get upset.”

  “Lay it on me.” I like this no-holds-barred thing we have going on.

  She takes a deep breath. “Eric’s family was behind the offer on the farm. I just found out about it when he showed up on our doorstep last week.”

  My jaw tightens, and I scoot her off my lap.

  “See, I knew you’d be upset. Which is why I didn’t tell you about it. Because I know your family needs the money.”

  I let that sink in. It’s a difficult pill to swallow.

  She continues. “I’m tempted to say I hate him, but that suggests I feel something for him, some kind of emotion, but I don’t. Honestly, I’m not sure what I saw in him. But what I do know is he and his family can afford some little farm. That expense means nothing to them. And if it meant helping you and your parents get out from this mountain of debt, then I thought it was worth swallowing my pride.”