car. But he didn’t open the door for me. He leaned against his eleven-year-old Nissan Sentra and I did the same, knowing
that move meant he wanted to talk. We didn’t have much
time—a minute or so and then, the people would be pouring
from the church.
Finally Jeremy said, “I’ve been feeling this calling. A tug,
if you will. It’s like God has been saying to me ‘get ready’.”
“Get ready for what?”
He didn’t look at me as he shook his head. “I don’t know.
That’s why I hadn’t said anything about it to you. But I’ve been hearing that over and over.” He pushed himself from the car,
turned and looked straight into my eyes. “But now, I think
16 | Gizel e Bryant
He meant get ready for this. I think He meant for me to get
ready to take Reverend Robinson’s place.”
My mouth opened wide. “Jeremy, how can you do that
when you’re only twenty-one, still in school, and you’re not
even next in line. Reverend Lewis is the assistant pastor, you’re the youth pastor.” I felt like he needed al of those reminders.
“Well, we’re about to graduate, so I won’t be in school any
longer and Reverend Lewis doesn’t want to lead this church.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because in the ministers meetings, he’s always talking
about going back to Los Angeles. He doesn’t like the South.”
“Okay, but what about graduate school?” I asked as
another reminder. “You’ve always said you wanted your
Masters of Divinity since your Bachelors is going to be in
Mass Communications. You’ve even talked about getting your
Doctorate, remember?” I asked because he was acting like he’d
knocked every practical thought from his mind.
He shook his head. “There are plenty of pastors in this
country who don’t have degrees. At least I will have one.”
“But you’ve already been accepted to Howard and Duke.”
Now, he shrugged as if my words didn’t matter. “And all
of that, those are my plans, but God’s plans are greater.”
There was no way for me to debate God, so I brought
it back down to man. “Do you really think the board would
consider you for this?”
That question seemed to bring him back to earth. He
sighed, then leaned back on the car. “I know.”
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I breathed, glad that he agreed.
Then, he said, “But I can do this.”
I wanted to say more, but he opened the car door, a signal
that this part of the conversation was over. I slid inside, and as I watched him walk around the front of his car, I recognized
the look in his eyes. It was the determination that he had
when an idea was baking inside of him. Or when he was ready
to take that cake out the oven and present it to the world.
By the time, Jeremy jumped into the driver’s seat, I knew
my friend wouldn’t rest until he was appointed the new pastor
of Pilgrim’s Rest Missionary Baptist Church.
Chapter Two
It was just a kiss. But it was a kiss that had reached to my
soul and discombobulated my entire being. I closed my
Marketing in the New Digital Age textbook, glanced around the library and sighed. A check of the clock on the wall
showed that I’d been at this for about an hour. An hour and
I hadn’t read one full page when this textbook was one from
my favorite class.
It was because of that kiss.
With another sigh, I rested my elbow on the table, cupped
my chin and remembered last night....
“I can take you back to your dorm,” Jeremy said.
His tone held all of his emotions: anxiety, confusion, sadness...
and a bit of elation. I knew there was more that Jeremy had to work out, so I said, “If you still want to talk, I still want to listen.”
He reached across the car and squeezed my hand. Then with a nod, he pushed the gear into drive and pulled the car away from the Riverwalk’s parking lot. We’d just taken a Sunday stroll on the 18
My Word | 19
Riverwalk, a very touristy thing to do in New Orleans, but after brunch at Willa Jean’s, our once-a-month splurge, I knew Jeremy still needed to work out all that was in his head from the service this morning. So I suggested this little walk and talk and that was exactly what Jeremy had done for a couple of hours. It still wasn’t enough, but it didn’t matter to me. I was here for it and if he needed a few more hours, I’d do that, too.
When we stepped into his small two-bedroom apartment,
Jeremy did what he always did: he motioned for me to sit on the futon, turned on his CD player, then grabbed two diet Cokes from his fridge. With Keyshia Cole, Jazmine Sullivan and Mary J
crooning in the background, it could have been a romantic setting for two college kids.
But for me and Jeremy, this was our norm, so I kicked off
my shoes, tucked my feet under my butt, and listened as Jeremy continued sorting out his thoughts.
“I know I’m young, but I feel this pull.”
“I know I need to at least get my Masters, but I feel this pull.”
“I know the board may not see me as a leader yet, but I feel this pull.”
All I did was nod and listen, letting him get it all out. My goal was to leave him tonight feeling calmer, but hoping that he would realize this was crazy. Even though I felt this was the craziest idea in the history of crazy ideas, I wasn’t going to tell him that. He’d have to arrive at that conclusion himself.
He said, “There’s never been a time in my life when God’s voice has been clearer to me.”
20 | Gizel e Bryant
That worried me a bit because I knew Jeremy heard God, just like I did. But stil , I played my role—the friend with the listening ear that he’d given to me so many times.
The sun had long set, the apartment was dark except for the dim light from an outside street lamp, Keyshia, Jazmine and Mary J. had sang more than a couple of times on repeat, and I’d had about five diet cokes before Jeremy took my hands into his.
“You have been so wonderful today, Ginger.”
“What did I do?”
“This.” He waved his hand in the air. “You listened to me all day, just let me go on and on, repeating the same things.”
“This is what we do. Isn’t that what friends are for? You just needed to talk it out.”
“I did. I haven’t come to any conclusions about what I’m
going to do about Pilgrim’s Rest, but....” He paused. “I’ve decided something else.”
I tilted my head. I didn’t know there had been anything else on his mind.
He said, “I want this all the time.” He stopped and twisted.
Even through the darkness, I could see him searching in my eyes.
My heart thumped because I knew where this was heading.
But to give myself a couple of more seconds, I asked, “What do you mean?”
“I want this, I want us. We have such chemistry, Ginger and I don’t know what we’re waiting for. I don’t know who we think we’re fooling. I really want to see where this goes with you because I’m thinking we are already more than friends....”
My Word | 21
I wanted to hold up my hand as a stop signal. I wanted to tell him, ‘No, let’s not mess up this perfect friendship; plus you want to be a pastor!’ But then, he edged toward me. It was three seconds that felt like three lifetimes before his lips touched mine. As Mary J
sang one of my favorite songs, we kissed. And every laden emotion that I’d pressed down w
ithin me, began to ascend from my toes through my center and settled right there on my heart.
When Mary J sang, “Too hard to fake it...” I knew what
Jeremy and I had was real. Like the boo Mary J sang about, I didn’t want to be without Jeremy. I wanted to stay in this place with our lips connected forever....
But forever lasted just a couple of seconds because Jeremy’s
roommate, Aaron, busted into the apartment, talking about
it was too dark in there and turning on the bright overhead
lights. By the time he realized Jeremy and I were there
together, we were on opposite ends of the futon.
When Aaron had asked, “What’s up with y’all,” I’d looked
at Jeremy, he looked at me, and then both of us cracked up.
Not sure why, but we had a fit of giggles that wouldn’t stop. It didn’t bother Aaron; he grabbed a coke and sat in the living
room with us until Jeremy got a call from Reverend Lewis.
Of course, he’d wanted to take the call. Of course, he wanted
to know if there was news.
“What’s got you smiling like that?”
I had to blink a few times to bring myself back from
yesterday.
22 | Gizel e Bryant
“You’re grinning like you just won the lottery,” my best girl
friend, Dru said as she slid into the chair across the table. Her smile was bright, exactly like it was the first day I’d met her when I’d stepped onto Xavier’s campus and found out that she
was my roommate. She’d told me that in high school, friends
had called her Sunshine and I got it. Because everything
about her shined like the sun—from her thousand-watt smile
to her sun-kissed complexion, which was almost exactly the
color of her hair.
People often said we were twins, which always made us
laugh out loud. Yeah, our complexions and our hair coloring
were close, but that height thing—Dru had to stand on her
tiptoes to measure five feet and I could reach for items on the top shelf of any cabinet.
“So, did we win the lotto or what?” she asked when I
didn’t respond.
I wanted to tell Dru that I kinda felt like I had won. I
wanted to jump up and dance, but all I did was grab my books,
stuff them into my bag and say, “Come on. I got something
to tell you.”
“Ooooh...you don’t have to tell me twice.” She popped
out of her chair and then both of us speed-walked out of the
library.
d
“ So hold up,” Dru said. “Are you telling me you’re gonna be a First Lady?” Before I could respond, she dumped her
My Word | 23
backpack onto the ground and danced, doing some kind of
shoulder-shimming two-step in a circle around me. “You’re
gonna be a First Lady. You’re gonna be a First Lady.”
I stopped moving because she was making me dizzy.
“Really? So what? Are we in fifth grade now?”
She laughed as she grabbed her bag from the grass and
we continued our stroll across campus to our dorm. “I’m just
saying.” But then as if she had a serious thought, her laughter stopped. “Wait. How are we gonna go to a Kappa party when
you’re a First Lady?” She frowned as if she was asking me a
serious question. Then, she shrugged. “Guess I’ll just have to find someone else to roll with.”
I shook my head. “And guess I’ll have to find a new best
friend who won’t toss me away so easily.”
“I’m not tossing you away, I just got questions. Like can
First Ladies strut?” she asked. “Because how you gonna be an
AKA and not strut?”
“Are you serious right now?” Before she answered, I
continued, “Let me break this down for you. First of all, I’m
not interested in being a First Lady since I grew up as a First Daughter. That was enough firsts for me. And besides, I don’t
know what’s happening with me and Jeremy.”
“You don’t know?” She turned toward me and walked
backwards. “Who’s acting like they’re in fifth grade now? Let
me break this down for you. You and Jeremy finally kissed.
Jeremy told you he wants to take your friendship further. And
24 | Gizel e Bryant
I say, ‘Hallelujah, it’s about time.’ You two have been playing footsies....”
“We haven’t been playing anything.”
“For too long now,” she continued as if I hadn’t spoken.
“You started with the kiss last night, you might as well let him hit it tonight, then tomorrow, it’ll be all official,” she said as if she’d just solved all the problems of the world.
“I’ve already told you, I don’t want to be married to a
pastor.”
“Well first of all, he didn’t ask you to marry him, he just
kissed you.”
“If you weren’t my best friend, I’d punch you in the eye
right now.”
“And second of all, Jeremy Williams is a tall mug of hot
chocolate, so whatever hang-ups you have about the church....”
“I’m not hung up about the church.”
“You need to get over it,” she continued. “Look, if he
wants you on his arm as he becomes the youngest pastor in
New Orleans, you need to hop on that gravy train. He’s fine
and he’s gonna be rich? What’s there to think about?”
I sighed, but it was only to keep my emotions inside. As
much as I hated to admit it, I was excited about the prospect
of where our relationship could go from here; but there was
so much to think about. First, I didn’t want to stay in New
Orleans. I had my life mapped out. After graduation in a few
weeks, I would start working at Walker-Hughes, one of the
largest consumer marketing firms in the country where I’d
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interned with over the past two summers in DC. I was going
to work with them for exactly five years before I started my
own marketing company. My company was going to be ahead
of the curve with this growing digital marketing industry and
by 2015, I planned to have offices in the top five markets. For all of this to happen, I’d have to be in a big city on the East or West coast.
So my plans didn’t line up with this new desire of Jeremy’s.
Plus there was the fact that yes, we’d kissed, but I wasn’t sure what it meant. Jeremy and I hadn’t had a chance to discuss
anything at all. Once he got the call from Reverend Lewis, I
didn’t want to interrupt him in any way, so Aaron brought me
back to campus and I hadn’t spoken to Jeremy since.
“I’ve been telling you from the day you met him in
Charlotte that he was going to be more than a friend.”
“You did say that, but Dru, I don’t know.” I kicked a rock
on the grass, needing to release all of this energy inside of
me. “I have my plans and then, I’ve never wanted to be a First Lady. I guess that’s why I’ve been fighting my feelings for him for so long.”
“Wait. Stop. Are we having an honest introspective
moment here?”
I shrugged and Dru said, “First, I’m sure there will be a
way to line up your plans with his, so that won’t be an issue.
But that other issue you have, you’ve got to let go of your
hang-ups about First Ladies. What does Jeremy say about it?”
“We
’ve never talked about it because we’ve never talked
about being anything more than friends.”
26 | Gizel e Bryant
She shook her head. “You always say that, but I’m telling
you, I have a hard time believing it.”
“Well remember, I was kinda seeing Kenny and he was
seeing Daphne when we met. And neither one of us is a hoe.”
“And you broke up with Kenny and he broke up with
Daphne a year ago. So now you can be hoes together.”
“That is not even funny,” I said, even though I chuckled.
“But by the time everyone was out of the way, Jeremy and I
were in such a comfortable friendship space and I didn’t want
to mess that up. He’s the best friend I’ve ever had.”
Dru raised her eyebrows. “Present company excluded, of
course.”
“Of course.”
“But seriously, Ginger, you and Jeremy have all the fixings
for a great relationship. You started out as friends and that’s what most people miss. When you have that, you’ve taken care
of half of the relationship battle so don’t let what he chooses as a profession to stop you from having a great love in your
life. He’s a man first and a pastor second.”
I paused. “Who are you now? Doctor Phil? Oprah?”
“Just cal me Doctor Phyl is or Oprenah. Seriously, no
matter what he decides to do or where you two decide to go,
the foundation is there. So go to the edge and jump.”
I wanted to take a moment to think about her words, but
before I could do that, she hopped in front of me and stopped
moving. “Now speaking of shaky foundations....”
My Word | 27
I frowned. “I thought you just said Jeremy and I had a
good foundation.”
“I’m not talking about you. I’m talking about Reverend
Robinson. I can’t believe I missed church yesterday,” she
whined.
“Well, that’s what happens when you hang out all night
Saturday and then Sunday morning rolls around.”
“Don’t try to change the subject. So what’s the scoop with
Reverend Robinson? What did Jeremy say?”
“I told you; he doesn’t know anything. He tried to call
Reverend Robinson when we were at brunch yesterday, but
he didn’t answer. I don’t know if he’s spoken to him since last night.”
“I should have been there,” Dru said as if her presence
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