My Word_Interior.indd

by Gizelle Bryant

  “I don’t need to get anything checked out,” she said with

  a little bit of an attitude. “Everyone thinks I have anger issues,

  My Word | 123

  but what I have are reality issues. Every woman I’ve ever been involved with knows the rules—don’t start none, won’t be

  none,” she said. Then, the way she stabbed her burger with

  her knife, I felt sorry for the salmon. “But again, you tried to change the subject on me and this is all about the pastor. So, really, they didn’t help her bury the body?”

  I shook my head. “No. They took the opposite approach

  and gave her the reason why she should stay.”

  While I bit off a bit of my wings, my sister looked up

  toward the ceiling like she was trying to figure it out. Then, waving her fork in the air, she said, “Okay, I give up. What

  could the reason possibly be?”

  “They said it was financial, but really Jada, it was like a cult in there. Every woman agreed; they all said the same thing.

  I had a feeling something like this had happened to one of

  them before.”

  “Really? You think another one of their husbands has

  been freakin’ a dude?” She held up her hand. “Not that I have

  anything against gay people.” She grinned. “Hey!” she sang as

  she rolled her shoulders in a little dance.

  That made me chuckle for a moment, but then, I went

  right back to what happened. “I’m not saying that group

  experienced the same exact scandal. I just wonder if other

  things have happened before and staying silent is just what

  they do.”

  “Y’all church folks kill me,” Jada said, shaking her head

  as she leaned back and took several more sips of her wine.

  124 | Gizel e Bryant

  “What do you mean y’all? You forgot where you were

  raised? You forgot about your daddy?”

  “No.” She shrugged. “But you know it’s been years since

  I’ve walked into any church. And it’s because of things like

  this. I mean, I’ve heard of ‘for better or for worse.’ But what happened to basic respect?”

  I took a sip of wine, giving myself time to explain it to

  Jada. “Their argument is that respect comes second to their

  calling. Everything at the expense of the church they’re

  building.”

  “Better to walk away than burn that church down, which

  is exactly what I’d be doing right now.”

  I just shook my head, sad that my sister was telling the

  truth. “I think there’s a solution somewhere in between staying silent and burning the church down.”

  “No in between for me. You guys put up with a lot in the

  name of religion. Y’all are almost as bad as baller wives and

  the ish they have to deal with.”

  As Jada mentioned ballers wives, a leggy woman sauntered

  by and my eyes widened a bit at just how short her dress was. I mean, she couldn’t afford any kind of mistake; if she dropped

  any money, she’d have to just leave it wherever it fell. The hem of her dress ended at the same place as her Malaysian yacky

  weave—both right at the end of her butt.

  It was her purple form-fitting mini that caught my

  attention, but that wasn’t what held it. When she slipped into the chair at a table across from us, she crossed her legs, leaned

  My Word | 125

  back in the chair and looked straight at me as if that had been her purpose all along. She looked...familiar. But then, I shook my head, broke eye contact, and returned my attention to my

  sister, my duck wings and my brussel sprouts.

  “Well more power to that First Lady,” Jada said. “That’s

  all I got. Wishing her power.”

  “I’ve been praying for Rena...and her husband.”

  “That’s because you’re a good Christian,” Jada smirked.

  “So besides the First Ladies Cult....”

  “It’s the First Ladies Council, not cult.”

  “Not the way you described it, but besides those women,

  you good?”

  My eyes wandered to the table across from us, only

  because I could feel the heat of the woman’s stare. When I

  glanced at her, she didn’t do what most people did when they

  were caught—she held my gaze.

  Again, I shook my head and turned away from her. “Yeah,”

  I said, finally answering my sister’s question. “I am good.”

  “You don’t sound anywhere near good.”

  “No, I am. I mean, Jeremy and I have some things to work

  out.”She frowned. “Like what? Y’all having problems?” Before

  I could answer, she continued, “Please don’t tell me that. You two are the perfect couple, second only to Mommy and

  Daddy.”

  I pushed my plate aside. “We’re not having trouble. It’s

  just that I have to deal with all the things that Mom had to

  handle as a pastor’s wife.”

  126 | Gizel e Bryant

  “Ah, the women.”

  I nodded.

  But then, Jada’s eyes narrowed. “Hold up. He’s not

  stepping out on you is he?”

  Right away, I waved my hand, telling her no. But at the

  same time, I shifted in my chair a bit, trying to use my sister’s big hair to get out of the woman’s view since I could still feel her gaze. “No, that’s one place where I’m blessed. Jeremy is

  not carrying on with anyone.”

  “Good, ‘cause I’d hate to have to cut a brother...in-law.”

  “You don’t have to cut anyone, Jada.”

  She shrugged as if she’d meant her words. “I’m just sayin’.”

  After a moment, I said, “But there is this woman....”

  Jada eased to the edge of her seat, squeezing the knife in

  her hand. “Who?”

  “Calm down. There’s nothing going on. There’s just

  a woman who works with Jeremy and she makes me a bit

  uncomfortable with the way she flirts with him. A lot.”

  “Who? His assistant?”

  “No, his assistant is Lizzy, remember? Mommy’s friend.”

  “Sorry, I forgot. Well, whoever it is, you need to fire her.”

  How many times had I thought of that? “The problem

  is, she’s good.”

  “So? There are lots of good people in this world. You can

  fire her or you can tell me her name and I’ll pay her a little visit and I promise you, you’ll have no more issues.”

  My Word | 127

  I chuckled and shook my head. “It’s not that serious.

  In fact, now that I’ve said it out loud, I shouldn’t have even mentioned it. It’s innocent flirting.”

  “Flirting with a married person or even an involved person

  is never innocent. But if you tell me to back off, I will. You got my number if you need me.”

  “I do and I won’t. At least not in this capacity.”

  She shrugged. “So what else is going on? You still thinking

  about all you’ve given up for the church?”

  I raised my eyebrows in surprise. “I haven’t mentioned

  that in a while.”

  “You haven’t, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t been

  thinking about it.”

  I nodded. “I mean, how can I not help but wonder where I

  would be if I’d taken that job with Walker-Hughes. You know

  by now my plan was to....”

  “Have your own business with five offices al over the

  country.”

  I chuckled. “Did I say it that much?”


  “Yup, but it was all good. And so it makes sense that you

  would wonder.“

  “I mean, I can’t imagine I would have been doing better

  financially. Once Jeremy and I got our church up and going...”

  “Yeah, I see you,” Jada said, leaning over to take a peek

  at my newest designer purse, hooked on the back of my

  chair. “You have it all now—the house, the cars, the kids, the clothes....”

  128 | Gizel e Bryant

  “But it’s more than just the money because we didn’t

  get into ministry for that. We’ve just been blessed. But I do

  wonder what my life would look like now.”

  Jada frowned. “You’re not talking about a life without

  Jeremy?”

  I felt it again; the woman’s stare and I had to turn her

  way again. This was getting to be too much. So, I glared back

  at her. But all she did was raise her wine glass and sip, never turning her eyes away.

  “What?” Jada asked and looked over her shoulder at the

  woman before she turned to me. “You know her?”

  I shook my head. “No. I mean, she looked familiar at first.

  But since she’s been in here, she’s just been staring at me.”

  “Maybe she recognizes you or maybe,” Jada leaned closer

  and whispered, “she’s looking at me.” When she leaned back

  and nodded slowly, I laughed.

  “Don’t pay attention to her.” Jada waved her hand. “Where

  were we?”

  “I was just saying that it feels silly to dream about what

  could have been when my life is so good.”

  “Well, I can tell you what wouldn’t have been without

  you...New Kingdom Temple.”

  I smiled. “Let’s talk about something else.”

  “Okay. What? Politics?”

  “No! Tell me about what’s going on at work.” I was always

  fascinated by my sister’s job. She was the managing editor for Travel Times, an on-line magazine and website. She’d started

  My Word | 129

  with the magazine straight out of Howard University, when

  it was nothing more than a good idea. However last year,

  Forbes Magazine had ranked Travel Times as one of the top

  ten websites to visit. It was an upstart no more. “So where’s

  your next trip?”

  “I’m heading to Australia.”

  I moaned with envy; well, not really envy. I was so proud

  of my baby sister and how she’d taken this job even though

  our mother had given her a serious side-eye when Jada had

  told us that she’d have to not only live in New York, but she’d agreed to work for free for the first six months. After all the money she’d spent for our education, she wanted us to at least be able to support ourselves. And for the first few years, Jada hadn’t been able to do that.

  Fast-forward three years and my sister was not only well

  into the six-figures, but she traveled around the world, staying in the best hotels, eating at amazing restaurants and getting

  spoiled in the best spas. I wanted to be Jada Allen when I

  grew up.

  Over the next hour, my sister and I talked and laughed

  and sipped more wine. By the time the check came, my sister

  had done for me what she always did—she made me feel like

  I could conquer.

  “Ginger?”

  Jada and I glanced up—at the staring woman in the

  purple mini. I’d almost forgotten that she’d been there.

  “Yes?”

  130 | Gizel e Bryant

  “Oh, my goodness, it is you. Ginger Allen, right?”

  As I kept my glance on the woman’s eyes, my sister sat

  back and checked her out. Not in any kind of sexual way. My

  little sister had gone into her don’t-start-none-won’t-be-none mode; she was checking to see if she needed to get up and

  handle something for me.

  The woman said, “So you don’t recognize me? You don’t

  remember me?”

  “I’m sorry,” I said. I narrowed my eyes and tried to

  remember. Now that she was standing up close, I knew I’d

  seen this woman before, but I couldn’t place her. Was she a

  friend from Xavier? A sorority sister? That would be the worst if she was one of my Sorors and I didn’t remember.

  “Oh.” The woman laughed, a sultry sound that I imagined

  had men giving her all of their money. “It’s like that now?

  You’re all that, a First Lady of a big church and so you can’t remember an old friend?”

  “I am so sorry,” I said. “You’ll have to excuse me, but I

  meet a lot of people. I do recognize your face; I just can’t seem to place your name.”

  She laughed again, though this time, there was little

  humor in the sound. “I’m Sharonne,” she said as if I was

  supposed to recognize the name.

  When she added nothing else, I said, “Oh...hi...Sharonne.”

  And then, I scoured through my memory bank. There was

  nothing.

  Her sigh was filled with exasperation. “Sharonne from

  Pilgrim’s Rest.” Another pause. “Back in New Orleans.”

  My Word | 131

  She had taken me back ten years and I was able to conjure

  up a vague memory. At church...in the bathroom...when I was

  talking to First Lady Blake. But Sharonne and I were far from

  friends. She hadn’t even spoken to me that day, so now, I was

  surprised that she even knew my name.

  Still, I was always in First Lady mode. So I said, “Oh, yes,

  Sharonne,” even though she and I had never had one pleasant

  exchange. “How are you?”

  “Blessed and highly favored,” she said. “What about you?”

  “The same.” I nodded.

  From the corner of my eye, I saw my sister move to the

  edge of her chair.

  “So, do you live in D.C. now?” I asked.

  “No,” Sharonne replied. “I’m just in town to handle some...

  personal business.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder.

  “Well, I just wanted to say hello. You take care of yourself

  now.” She paused. “Oh, and tell that fine husband of yours,

  I said hello.” She gave a throaty laugh before she nodded at

  my sister, then sashayed away, her dress edging even higher

  up her thighs.

  Sharonne was barely out of hearing range before she said,

  “Really?” Jada said. “You were friends with her?”

  Shaking my head, I said, “Not at all. I had one encounter

  with her and that was enough. Really, I’m a little surprised

  she remembered me.”

  “Hmmm....” my sister hummed. “Well, I don’t trust her, I

  don’t like her, she’s a snake, she’s a user and....”

  132 | Gizel e Bryant

  With a laugh, I held up my hand. “You got all that from

  her standing there?”

  Jada didn’t crack a smile. “Yes, I did. You know how I am.

  You know how I can feel people.”

  Those words took my smile away. Because my sister told

  the truth.

  She said, “Just let me know if you ever need me to roll

  back down here and take care of anything for you.”

  “She said she doesn’t live here, so I doubt if I’ll see her

  again.”

  “I hope you don’t.” And then, she repeated, “‘Cause I really

  don’t like her.”

  I didn’t tell my sister that I didn�
�t like her either, even

  though I couldn’t figure out why not?

  Chapter Ten

  It was hard to believe that only ten hours had passed since

  I’d awakened this morning at seven. I’d started the day at

  the storage facility, checking out all the donations we had for the Dress for Success program that we needed for the girls

  for the job fair next week. Then I’d subbed for Lizzy who

  was the unofficial leader of our unofficial flower ministry. She always took a bouquet to the sick and shut in. But because

  this was Mother Hayden, the woman who was one of the

  reasons why Jeremy was at New Kingdom Temple (because

  everyone believed her ten years ago when she said she’d heard

  from God about Jeremy), I’d wanted to take her the flowers

  myself and spend a little time praying and chatting with her

  as she recovered from her hip replacement. And now finally,

  I was leaving the kids’ school after having conferences with

  their teachers.

  All I wanted to do right now was to crawl into bed even

  though the sun hadn’t yet begun its descent.

  133

  134 | Gizel e Bryant

  But as I rolled onto the campus of New Kingdom, sleep

  was still hours away for me. I was meeting Wanda, our

  business manager, for a finance meeting to go over the budget

  for our tenth anniversary celebration.

  Dru had offered to sit in on this meeting for me after we’d

  reviewed all the appointments on my calendar this morning,

  but Jeremy and I had put a couple of systems in place when

  we opened up New Kingdom Temple that we’d followed for

  the last ten years. One, was that I would always handle the

  church’s finances. Not a check would be written, not a dime

  would be spent, not a credit card bill would be paid without

  my approval. And the second was that Jeremy would never

  meet with any church members alone—not women, not even

  men. Those were the two things that got pastors caught up:

  Money and sex. And Jeremy and I were doing everything we

  could so there would never even be hints of any improprieties.

  I eased my Mercedes next to Jeremy’s Jaguar, parking in

  the designated FIRST LADY space. Then, I paused the way

  I always did when I pulled into my spot next to Jeremy either

  here or in our three-car garage at home.

  Every time I saw his tricked out black XJ, I shook my

  head. I still remembered his hoopty in college, and how

  Jeremy said cars and other material things meant nothing to