“All right. Let me see what I have in my bag.”
“Wait.” I held up my hand, looking at Jasmine first, and
then turning to Jada. “Hot pink is not neutral.”
“Ugh!” Jada groaned and then turned to Jasmine. “Your
mother is so 1960.”
My five-year-old squeezed her face into a frown. “What
does that mean?”
“It means Mom’s old,” Jayden said as he strolled into the
kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and grabbed a small bottle
of orange juice.
But before he could make his way out of the kitchen, I
stopped him. “Hold up.” Jayden spun around. “Since when
do you just walk in here and grab something out of the
refrigerator without asking me? Did you get a job that I didn’t hear about?”
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Jasmine giggled. “Mommy, Jayden can’t get a job. He’s
only seven,” she told me as if she seriously believed I needed that reminder.
“Well, he needs to start acting like he’s seven.”
I gave him a little side-eye and Jayden said, “Mom, can I
have this juice, please?”
I waited a beat before I nodded. As he ran out of the
room, Jada shouted out to him, “Don’t go too far, Jayden.
I’m gonna do your nails next.” That sent Jasmine into a fit of giggles.
Jada set out a little manicure set she carried in her purse,
just as I heard the garage door open. This was going to be
interesting—interacting with Jeremy while Jada was here.
I was so glad for her presence; she was the distraction I
needed to get through one day of my two-day wait for the
paternity results. Since today was Sunday, Dru had told me
the results would be in on Tuesday. So I truly thanked God for Jada today because waiting tomorrow was going to be brutal.
But while she was a great diversion, she was also presented
me with a dilemma. How was I going to hide everything from
her? I really didn’t want to talk to Jada about Jeremy; she loved him. And until I knew everything for sure, there was no need
to damage their relationship by telling her about his affair and the possible pregnancy. No, I had to find some way to keep
this all from her—for now.
When the door opened, Jasmine slipped from the chair.
“Daddy’s home,” she sang and ran into her father’s arms. He
scooped her into the air. “Daddy, Auntie Jada is here.”
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“I know,” he said. “I already saw her in church, remember?”
“Oh, yeah,” Jasmine said before she climbed back into the
chair to prepare for her manicure.
Jeremy kissed my cheek and because Jasmine was sitting
inches from me and because my sister’s eyes were on me, I
didn’t slap his face away. Then, he turned to Jada. “So what’s up, my favorite sister-in-love?” He pulled her into a one arm
hug.“Just you. But uh...Lauren said you say the same thing
to her.”
He laughed. “I admit to nothing.”
I wondered if he’d said that on purpose or had that truth
come from his soul.
Jada playfully pushed his shoulder. “Just like a man,” she
kidded him without knowing she was speaking his truth. “So,
how are things going, Rev?”
He glanced at me and my mouth opened wide when he
said, “Not well, but maybe you can talk to your sister about
that.”
I couldn’t believe he was putting our business out there
on Front Street like that. He knew I didn’t believe him about
Katrina; did he really want me talking to my sister about that?
And why would he even say that in front of Jasmine, who
was now looking at the three of us with nothing but curiosity
in her eyes.
Jada’s eyes went from Jeremy to me, then back to my
husband. “Uh…”
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“He’s just kidding,” I said with a little laugh to Jada,
though those words were for my daughter’s ears. “We’re fine.
You know Jeremy’s a jokester.”
“Yeah.” Jasmine giggled. “Daddy’s a jokester.”
Jeremy smirked, then walked over, leaned in and kissed my
cheek once again. But this time, his kiss had an accompanying
message. “We’re not fine,” he said, his volume revealing that
his words were meant for my ears only. “But we will be because I will never give up on you, I’ll never give up on us. No matter what I have to do.” Standing up straight he said, “So uh, are
you taking Jasmine back to the church for the children’s choir anniversary rehearsal, or do you want me to do it?”
“Oh!” I tapped the heel of my hand on my forehead.
“I’d forgotten all about that,” I said, while I wondered about Jeremy’s words. I wasn’t sure if what he’d said was meant as a promise or a threat.
“Why don’t you do it?” Jada said to Jeremy. “It’ll give me
a chance to have some time with my sister.”
Before I could protest, Jeremy said, “That sounds great to
me. Come on, Munchkin.”
“What about my nails?” Jasmine asked, looking between
her father and her aunt.
“We’ll do them later,” Jada told her. “I promise. You go
on with your dad to church so you can sing like the beautiful
angel you are.”
Jasmine’s face brightened. “Mommy said I’m an angel,
too.”
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Jeremy held out his hand to our daughter. “So let’s go get
your sneakers and a sweater and then we’ll head back to New
Kingdom.”
With a hop from her chair, Jasmine slid her hand into his.
She skipped beside Jeremy, all was well in her world. The sight of my husband with our children had always been one that
filled my heart each time with even more love for him. He
was a good father, but what was going to happen now? What
would our lives look like after Tuesday? Would the children
and I even be here for our anniversary?
“All right, it’s time to get to talking.”
Almost that quickly, I’d forgotten my sister was here.
And when I turned around, by her stare I knew I was in for
quite an interrogation. But because I had hopes of stalling
and maybe even changing the conversation altogether, I said,
“Talking about what?”
She wagged her finger in front of my face. “Don’t what
me,” she said. “Jeremy can fake the funk, even though this
time, he didn’t even try. But you? You can’t fake a thing. First of al , if I wasn’t here, I’m sure a slap may have been the
answer to his kiss.”
“You’re so violent,” I said.
“And next, you never forget anything on your children’s
schedule. How would you forget Jasmine had practice unless
there is something seriously on your mind? So talk.” Then,
after a pause, she said, “Wait. Is this about those First Ladies?
Are they still getting to you?”
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I shook my head. “I wish to God they were my problem.”
Just as I said that, Jasmine skipped back into the room.
She gave me a hug and then, while she went to hug Jada,
Jeremy ambushed me with another kiss, this time on my lips.
It was a gentle kis
s, filled with his kind of love.
When both of us were sure Jasmine and Jeremy were out
of the house, Jada asked, “So what is your problem with that
fine man? I mean, I’m not even attracted to dudes, but anyone
with eyes can see Jeremy Williams got it going on in all kinds of ways.”
Her tone sounded like she thought whatever the problem
was, it was my fault. She needed to know the truth, so I said,
“I just have one little problem with him—he’s cheating on
me.”Jada’s lips snapped shut. Then, a moment later, she
whispered, “No. Way.”
I nodded and matched her volume, not wanting Jayden
to overhear anything, though that was hardly possible with
the way he blasted his TV in his room. I said, “I confronted
the woman.”
“Get out.”
It wasn’t a story that I wanted to repeat, but as Jada sat
on the edge of the chair, I told her about Katrina Brunson.
“But it gets worse,” I said, when I got to the end of that story.
Jada must’ve heard the tears in my voice because she
scooted her chair closer, held my hand and I continued, “I
think he may have gotten someone pregnant.”
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“What?” she screamed.
“Keep your voice down. Remember, Jayden.”
“No f ’ing way,” she whispered. “Who? Where she at?”
“Someone you know.”
Her mouth was as wide as her eyes.
“Not directly,” I said and then reminded her of our lunch
and the mystery of that staring woman. I told her everything,
from the pregnancy story that came from Sonya and Cecily
to the baby reality that Dru had uncovered. “But I haven’t said a word to Jeremy about this part.”
“Why not?” And before I answered, she held up her hand
and said, “Wait. Mom and her pearls of wisdom.”
I nodded. “Mom was right about this one. I’m glad I still
have cards that Jeremy hasn’t seen. I don’t want to give him
to have time to concoct a story. I just want the truth so that I can do what I have to do. And it’s not going to be an easy
decision to make.”
“I know.” She released my hand and leaned back in her
chair. “Ten years of marriage, two amazing children....”
“And eight million dollars on the table.”
“Wait! What?” she whispered as if she didn’t understand.
I filled her in on the Amazon deal and all she did was
shake her head. “So there is so much at stake,” I told her.
“This is crazy,” Jada said. “So what’re you going to do?
What’re you going to do if it’s true? If he really is Andre’s
father?”
“That, my dear sister, is the ten years, two children, eight
million dollar question.”
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“Do you think you can walk away from all of that?”
I shook my head. “It would be hard, but here’s the thing. I
know that everything I do is not just about me. My children
are watching. And what would me staying say to Jasmine?”
Jada shook her head as if she vehemently disagreed with
me. “No, Jasmine is too young to understand. You don’t have
to worry about her.”
“That’s not true. I believe children are always watching.
Did you notice Jasmine when Jeremy came in here and told
you that things were not well?”
The way my sister frowned, I reminded her how Jasmine
had watched and heard every word we’d said, and then had
even repeated that Jeremy was a jokester.
“She doesn’t even know what a jokester is,” I said. “But
she watches our words, she watches our body language and I
don’t want my children to grow up in a tense home.” I shook
my head. “Besides, one day Jasmine will grow up and if Jeremy
is Andre’s father, she’ll ask me why I stayed. I’d better have a good reason for her if I decide to do that.”
Jada nodded. “And you’ll have to have an equally good
reason for leaving.”
“I agree,” I said and then, I nodded, wanting my sister to
know that I understood her point. “So, a lot of my decision will be about my children. I’m raising them consciously, knowing
that every word I speak, every decision I make, every reaction I have impacts them, even now, as young as they are. But this
is what I know also—breaking vows and disrespecting me is
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not okay. True or not, Jeremy hasn’t said one word to me about this. All I get are lies on top of lies on top of lies and that speaks to his character. So that is part of my decision, too.”
She nodded. “That is so true.” A beat and then, “You’re
really a good mother.”
“Thanks.”
“And you know what? Jeremy is a good father.” She
paused, then with a sideward glance, she said, “And he’s a
good man.”
My eyebrows stretched to the top of my forehead. “Wow,
I didn’t expect this.”
She shrugged.
“One of the reasons why I didn’t want to tell you what was
going on was because I didn’t want to affect your relationship with Jeremy.”
She waved her hand. “I’ve been involved in enough
relationships to understand their dysfunction. And this is
what I know—no one is as bad as the worst thing they’ve ever
done. If Jeremy is the father, that will be the worst thing. But on the ledger of his life,” she paused, “he’s done so many good things. That’s the problem with people sometimes. Folks al ow
one bad thing to wipe out a slate that covers ten thousand
good things.”
Resting my elbows on the glass table, I folded my hands
and rested my chin on them. My sister had said more than
a mouthful.
She added, “I feel sorry for pastors.”
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“Why?” I asked.
“Because they’re held to a higher standard.”
“Well,” I shrugged, “that’s biblical.”
“I know. But it seems like those men walk around with a
target on their backs. I remember how it was for Daddy. Man,
every Sunday temptation was being thrown his way. Every
time we went out, there was some woman willing to do some
thing for Mommy’s man. It was just crazy.”
My sisters and I didn’t talk about that time of our lives
very much, but it did surprise me how observant Jada was
even at that time. I said, “Yeah, but Daddy said no to all of
that. He didn’t fall.”
“We don’t know that for sure, Ginger.” She shook her
head slowly.
I squinted at her implication.
She held up her hands as if she was trying to hold off the
attack that she knew was coming. “I’m not saying he did, I’m
just saying we don’t know. And let’s say he didn’t fall to that kind of sexual temptation; we do know he fell to something.
That’s biblical. Because every single one of us sins and falls short.”
I let her words settle before I asked, “So are you saying...if Jeremy’s the father of Sharonne’s son, I should forgive him?”
“Well, you’re gonna have to forgive him no matter what.
Daddy taught us that. The whole Christian doctrine is built
on forgi
veness, so I don’t understand folks who go to church
every Sunday talking about, ‘you gonna have to give me time
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to speak to him again after what he did to me’.” Jada sucked
her teeth. “I just don’t understand it. Look.” The legs of her chair scraped against the tiles on the kitchen’s floor as she
turned her chair to face me. Taking both of my hands into
hers, she said, “I just want you to remember that Jeremy is a
man who is preaching the word of God. So Satan’s job is to
bring Jeremy Williams down. Satan’s job is to kill and destroy this man of God.”
I sighed. “You know, I hate when people bring up Satan.
It feels like an excuse. Satan didn’t cheat, Jeremy did.”
“I know that, but hear me out. Now, Jeremy may have
allowed the devil in and Jeremy may have cheated, but I just
want you to consider this is not just about a man who cheated
on his wife. This is about a man of God who is being targeted
for destruction.”
I stared at my sister for a moment. We’d all gone through
so much being a pastor’s kids. But Jada had gone through the
most. Our father had already passed away when Jada came
out, but all of us still worshipped at New Faith Missionary
Baptist Church, the church that my father had built. But
once news of her being gay spread within the church, men
and women who’d worked with our parents, men and women
who’d watched us grow up, men and women who’d given us
hugs every Sunday, gifts at Christmas, and sincere condolences when our father died, shunned Jada. The hate was enough to
drive our mother out of D.C. and Jada out of the church
forever.
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“What?” Jada asked. “Why are you looking at me like
that?”
I shrugged. “It’s just that....”
“You’re surprised that I’m dropping all this Christian
wisdom?” She grinned.
And I laughed, grateful for the weight she’d taken off this
conversation. “Yeah, I’m a little surprised.”
“Listen, I know how to separate God’s word from God’s
people. ‘Cause God’s word is always right, but His people...
not so much. My not wanting to go to church is about not
wanting to be around people. But God...I thank Him that
He’s everywhere.”
“Whew!” I held up my right hand. “I feel like I just got a
Sunday sermon.”
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