The Purrfect Halloween Prank: A Beatrice Young Cozy Cat Mystery (Beatrice Young Cozy Cat Mysteries Book 4)

by Alannah Rogers

  They’d been messaging back and forth but hadn’t made firm plans yet. “Sure.”

  He looked at his calendar. “You free tomorrow night?”

  “Tomorrow night, tomorrow night. Oh shoot! I’m supposed to go buy Halloween decorations for the house tomorrow. I’ve been putting it off for so long.”

  Gerald shrugged. “Why don’t I come with you? It’ll be fun. I can help you carry stuff, try on scary masks, it’ll be a blast.”

  “Yes. Yes! Let’s do that.” Beatrice picked up Lucky to hide her embarrassment but the little cat struggled in her arms, wanting Gerald.

  They agreed when and where to meet and then Beatrice excused herself, since everyone had arrived. She made sure they all had a seat, then cleared her throat,.

  “Hi everyone, thanks for coming on such short notice. I’ve talked to a lot of you recently about the infamous Halloween pranks in Ashbrook. Many of you here have been targets. And I think we’ve all agreed that the so-called pranks have escalated to a pretty dangerous and alarming level. Anyway, I’m here today to tell you that we have a suspect. And that information stays among us please until we have concrete proof. That’s what I need your help with: I need to know what you know about Frank Harpswell.” Beatrice took a deep breath. “And I need your help getting a DNA sample from him.”

  A loud murmur arose from the attendees. “Frank Harpswell?” echoed several incredulous voices from around the tables. “The BA President?”

  “I fail to see why Frank would plant a bomb on my car,” Abigail said in her high, shrill voice. “I mean, he’s always asking to put BA event posters in my store, and I won’t let him, but what’s the big deal? I don’t want posters junking up my windows!”

  Ryan raised his hand. “I turned down the job as treasurer of the BA because I just don’t have the time. Frank seemed to understand when I told him. I mean, I don’t think he was happy about that. But to be angry enough to spray paint my house? That seems pretty absurd.”

  “I told Hannah the other day while in line at the bank that I thought Frank was creepy,” Rebecca added. “And then I realized he was standing right behind me. You don’t think…”

  “I do think,” said a small voice. Everyone turned around to see Reggie Miller stand up. Beatrice had been surprised to see him at the meeting but then again, Reggie went to everything. “Frank’s said time and again I’m his only friend. He told me stuff he trusted to no one else.” Reggie balanced unsteadily against the table due to his bad leg. “I kept his secrets but then he crossed me, so I figure I don’t owe him that courtesy anymore.”

  Beatrice stared at him, stunned. “Go on, Reggie. Anything you can tell us will be really useful.”

  Reggie nodded in her direction, a shy smile crossing his face. “Sure Bee. Well folks, Frank Harpswell isn’t the nice, quiet guy most of you know. He’s a petty tyrant, he is. He told me time and again how each one of you made him mad. Every little thing got him angry—from people missing meetings to phone calls returned late to every thing you guys just mentioned. You all know his gift shop isn’t doing so well. So he poured all his energy into running the Business Association. But it didn’t help when he saw all of your businesses doing so well, while his wasn’t. So he took his revenge each Halloween. Small stuff at first, but it started escalating.”

  Beatrice felt her legs begin to shake. It was as if she didn’t know any of her neighbors or friends anymore. “So what happened between you and Frank?” she asked.

  Reggie looked shyly at his shoes. “Well Bee, Frank wanted to use the church basement for a BA meeting. I was going to let him but I remembered at the last minute I’d already reserved it for someone else. I had to tell him the day of the event that he had to find another spot. Next day, I find the church side door pelted with eggs. I know it must have been him because he called me that afternoon and asked me if anything strange had happened to me that day. Then he laughed and hung up. I don’t take well to folk messing with church property.”

  “Listen Bee,” Ryan piped up. “You said that we need DNA evidence from Frank. Obviously he doesn’t trust any of us. But he might trust Reggie. After all, he said he was his only friend. The guy has to be lonely. Maybe Reggie, if you pretend like it’s all water under the bridge, you can grab a spoon he’s using or a toothbrush from his house?”

  Reggie crossed his arms, wobbled, and steadied himself against the table. “I can do better than that. Frank’s got a loose tongue when he wants to. You give me something to record, I can get him to talk.”

  12

  “I don’t know if I’m cut out for this,” Beatrice said, looking at herself in the mirror in her office. Gerald was set to pick her up shortly. “I’d really rather just spend the night in my bath with one of my old Nora Roberts paperbacks.”

  Zoe straightened the collar of Beatrice’s red plaid shirtdress. It was the only thing that said both “casual” and “dressy” in her wardrobe—everything else she owned usually fit into one category and not the other.

  “You have nothing to lose,” Zoe said soothingly.

  “Just my dignity.” Beatrice looked down at Petunia, who was sitting at her feet. The fluffy cat squeaked out a meow, flashing her pretty pink tongue. “I bet you never sweat your dates, sweetheart,” she said. “You’re just the prettiest kitty of them all. The tomcats just can’t get enough of you, can they?” Petunia squeaked again in agreement.

  “Are you sure you’re okay to watch the cats?” Beatrice asked.

  Zoe smiled. “They’ll be fine. Stop worrying! Just enjoy yourself, okay? It’s a date, not a root canal.”

  “I don’t see the difference,” Beatrice grumbled. Her phone buzzed. “It’s him! Oh no, it’s the sheriff. Never mind. Hello?”

  “Bee! Reggie got me a DNA sample,” the sheriff said.

  “Hold the phone, how and when did that happen?” Beatrice asked, balancing her cell in the crook of her neck as she tried to neaten her hair.

  “Reggie and I had a long chat yesterday. We agreed he’d go and pay Frank a visit today. Well, he managed to nab a coffee cup the guy was drinking. I’ve sent it over to the lab. Hello? Bee? Are you there?”

  “That’s great news! Sorry, I’m just a little distracted. I’m going on a date.”

  “With Matthew?”

  “No! Gerald Pine. Geez. You need to keep better track of my happening love life.” Beatrice could almost hear him rolling his eyes over the phone. Her cell beeped. “Oh he just texted me! He’s here!”

  “Okay, okay. Just wanted to let you know if the DNA’s a match to what we found on the cigarette, I’m arresting Frank.”

  “Good stuff,” Beatrice said, smearing on lipstick. “I’ll talk to you later okay?”

  She hung up the phone and took a deep breath. Zoe gave her a big hug. “Go get ‘em tiger,” she said with a wink.

  Gerald was parked at the curb outside the café. He opened the door for Beatrice and kissed her on the cheek. Completely unsure of what to say, she just got in the car and stared straight ahead. How was one supposed to behave on a date? This was ridiculous. Images of a hot bath kept flashing through her mind.

  Thankfully, Gerald made conversation enough for the two of them. He chatted about how shocked everyone had been the other night when Frank Harpswell was suggested as the suspect. And yet how everything seemed to click at that moment.

  “It was really brave for Reggie to come forward,” he said, driving slowly down the narrow Ashbrook streets. “Heaven knows he’s a guy without too many friends. Difference is, he’s got a good heart.”

  “I’ve always liked Reggie,” Beatrice said, glad that her voice was still working. “But you know what? I definitely underestimated him. I don’t know why. He’s a completely capable guy.”

  “It’s not just you. He’s always been the town underdog. But I definitely see that changing.”

  They parked next to the Halloween pop-up store that came to town every fall. Beatrice could feel her stomach tense with excitement. She lo
ved Halloween shopping. And that store never failed her. It was packed with all manner of Halloween goodies—special FX paints, ghoulish masks, skulls of various sizes, huge rubber spiders, bags of fake cobweb, paper bats, spooky candles, doormats that made unholy noises when stepped on, and much, much more.

  “Alright, so I already have a ton of decorations. It’s just the fragile stuff I need to restock—balloons, paper streamers. Oh and I need some more fake blood and glitter spray. Don’t ask.”

  Gerald chuckled and grabbed a cart. “Well, let’s load up.”

  They went down the aisles, Beatrice grabbing way more than she needed as usual.

  “This is for your Halloween party, right?” he asked.

  “Sure is. I’ve been so busy with the Frank thing I’ve barely had time to plan it.”

  “Couldn’t Matthew do it? After all, you two always host the party together.”

  Beatrice snuck a look at him as she grabbed a bag of paper bats. She did not want to talk about Matthew on her first date in … well, never mind how many years. It was a lot.

  “Well yes, but I typically do all the decorating. Oh look, glittery blood! I haven’t seen that before. I’ll get two.”

  Thankfully, Gerald dropped the topic. Even better, he really got into the Halloween shopping. They compared different types of cobwebs—glittery or not? Spiders or not? They debated what type of fake blood would look more realistic and had a very serious discussion about whether the cackling doormat was scary or just ridiculous. The shopping cart piled up fast and Beatrice began to be seriously afraid for her credit card statement that month. Well, not too afraid—she was having too much fun.

  “Look at all these masks! We have to try them on,” Gerald said. He plopped on a rubber squid mask complete with tentacles.

  “Ugh,” Beatrice said, hugging herself. “I don’t like to eat squid and I definitely don’t want to look like one.”

  He tore it off, grinning and grabbed a very glittery and girly one and fit it over his head. It was an Elsa mask from the movie Frozen. Beatrice nearly killed herself laughing.

  “I’d pay you anything to wear this to my Halloween party!” she cackled. “Say you will? Please?”

  He yanked off the peachy mask with its mountains of blonde hair. “I want to keep my dignity, please and thanks. But it might look nice on you.”

  He tried to put it on Beatrice but she fended him off. “No way! I’ll never be a princess for Halloween. Not that kind of girl. I think I’m better suited to a witch get-up.” She placed a hideous green mask with a long nose and lots of warts over her face.

  Gerald leaned back and scanned her up and down. “You know, it’s quite the improvement,” he said and jumped back when Beatrice tried to hit him.

  “You watch out or I’ll put a spell on you!”

  The shopkeeper was giving them dirty looks, so Beatrice decided they’d better pay for everything and get out. After loading everything in his car, Beatrice realized that they didn’t have a plan for stage two of their date. She got a sinking feeling thinking that maybe the date was over.

  “So let’s go get your car?” Gerald asked, starting up his SUV.

  “Sure.” Think of something, think of something! Beatrice’s thoughts screamed at her. “Um, do you want to come over for a bit? I was going to start to set up. You don’t have to do anything but help me drink a bottle of wine.”

  Gerald flashed another million-dollar smile at her. “That sounds good,” he said and fireworks and confetti exploded in Beatrice’s brain.

  She drove over separately to her house and they both unloaded her purchases from his car. It was twilight and the front door lights cozily lit up the converted barn house. Zoe was home with the cats, eating ice cream from Beatrice’s freezer straight out of the container. Upon spotting her boss with Gerald, she made a series of indelicate comments that forced Beatrice to propel her straight out the door, ice cream container still in hand.

  Lucky was super hyper, running around the living room like he was high on catnip. He jumped from sofa to chair to table to floor, darting to one corner, staring, and then skittering to another. Hamish and Petunia sat on the coffee table, watching his antics with concerned expressions.

  As Beatrice popped open a bottle of wine and Gerald fiddled with her stereo, she wondered why she hadn’t done this before. She didn’t really have any expectations for their twosome, but this was nice in itself—the two of them inside, sharing a bottle of wine, listening to music and relaxing.

  She and Matthew had done the same thing countless times, sure, but it wasn’t the same. After all, there was no fizz, no anticipation of something more happening with him.

  But Gerald, handsome, her age, and available, definitely could be something more.

  “We haven’t talked shop at all,” Gerald said as he helped her hang cobwebs over the windows. “Monster Mash” played on the stereo. “I guess that’s a good thing?”

  “Psh, I think enough of our lives are taken up by work. I’m more than ready to kick back and have a little fun.”

  “How about all the sleuthing you do?”

  Beatrice tied a plastic bat to the curtain rod, Gerald steadying the chair she was standing on for her as she did so. “That’s fun, but it’s serious fun. I need to have more silly fun, like this.”

  Gerald smiled up at her. Beatrice tried to decipher that smile. Was he enjoying the evening as much as her? Or was he just being polite?

  They decorated a good part of the living room before it got late and Gerald excused himself. There was a bit of an awkward moment at the door as Beatrice paused, wondering if kissing was on the agenda or no. Well it was, sort of.

  “I had a great time. ‘Night Bee,” he said, before giving her a peck on the cheek and walking away.

  She shut the door, caught somewhere between disappointment and relief. They hadn’t kissed, so nothing was serious yet. But what if she wanted it to be?

  13

  “Please remind me again why we do this,” Zoe said, as she hauled the espresso machine out of the back of Beatrice’s truck with the help of the sheriff. They were at the Ashbrook fair grounds just outside of town setting up for Halloweenfest. It was mid-morning and the fair was due to start around noon.

  “Please remind me why I’m helping you set up your booth,” the sheriff grumbled as he struggled to carry the heavy piece of equipment.

  “Well, you have to arrest Frank anyway,” Beatrice said. “But you can’t yet, because Reggie’s going to try to get a recorded confession out of him first. So you might as well haul the heavy stuff. You know my back’s been acting up…”

  “You’re as strong as a mule!” the sheriff said. “Don’t play that card with me.”

  The cats milled around, eyes gleaming. Every year, Beatrice used Halloweenfest to test out their costumes for her official party on the 31st. The cats loved the attention and Beatrice got to see how their outfits played out in the real world—what kept slipping off, what didn’t look quite right, if an accessory needed to be added or taken away.

  This year, she was quite proud of herself—and excited because she finally got to dress a girl cat for a change. Petunia was dressed as a princess, of course, with a tiara and a pink dress. Lucky had on a spider costume with adorable little fuzzy legs sticking out of it. And Hamish looked quite dapper in a pirate hat and a toy dagger strapped to his side. Hamish and Lucky were used to dressing up and they trotted around, showing off their costumes. But Petunia kept walking sideways like a crab—the universal cat signal of distress. Beatrice guessed that her previous owner hadn’t been into costumes.

  Beatrice’s stand was already in place so it was just a matter of tying up the sign, connecting the espresso machine to the electrical supply, and organizing all the paper cups, lids, types of sugar, stir sticks, and the like. She double-checked that she had all the ingredients for the salted caramel mocha latte—her featured drink. Zoe, meanwhile, busied herself designing the chalkboard with the list of drinks and p
rices. They were going to keep things simple: coffee, the feature drink, and hot chocolate for the kids.

  The Ashbrook fair grounds were nothing fancy, just a huge field carved out of the woods, but with the view of the mountains in the distance and the last of the fall colors around, they didn’t need anything else. Farmers were arranging hay bales at one end of make a maze. Tents were going up for cider-making demonstrations, scarecrow-decorating contests, and face painting. Other vendors were setting up the famous Haloweenfest dishes: chicken corn soup and assorted pies.

  “So, has Gerald called yet?” Zoe asked for the thousandth time as she chalked in the drink list.

  Beatrice resisted the urge to look at her cell phone. “Nope,” she said shortly.

  Her date with Gerald had been a few days ago but so far she’d gotten nary a text, phone call, or note delivered by carrier pigeon from him. She thought they’d had a good time so frankly his silence was mystifying.

  “I really don’t get guys,” Zoe said, straightening. She wasn’t much of a costume person—she’d just added cat ears to her usual outfit of hoodie and jeans. “I mean one minute it’s like you’re the sun and moon to them and the next they just completely ignore you. Hunter’s like that. Sometimes he brings me flowers or cooks me dinner. And other times all he does is play video games and grunt at me.”

  Beatrice finished stacking the cups. “Yeah well, I kind of wish I hadn’t put myself out there. This is what I was afraid of: I’d start dating and bam, someone would step all over my heart. Zoe, at my age, I don’t need to be dating. I have my business, I have my cats, I have my home. What do I need a guy for?”

  Zoe levelled a look at her. “I dunno, Bee. Only you can answer that question. If it’s just about getting even with Matthew, forget it. But if some part of you wants someone else in your life, then you can’t be afraid to go for it. After all, the Beatrice Young I know isn’t scared of nuthin’.”