The Ultimate Guide to Kink

by Tristan Taormino

  When I am pierced, I feel like a little bit of my spirit is released from my body and is allowed to fly. The needle goes in, it’s like a quick flash of pain, then a slow ache in my skin as it travels in, followed by another flash as the needle comes back out of my skin on the other side. I feel the light, the sensation, I open my eyes and I let go. Intimacy is shared, the outside world disappears, and we melt into each other, together.

  —KATIE

  Poking needles into flesh is one of my favorite things to do. Really. There are a variety of reasons why a person may want to perform temporary piercings on another. A top may pierce for the enjoyment of the bottom or for her reactions, which might not always be pleasant. Piercing is much more invasive than other types of SM skills. Whereas a flogging is an external kind of stimulation, with needles you are entering the body. This can feel like a different type of penetration to some or an invasion of the body to others, and piercing often creates a more intimate experience between partners. From an artistic viewpoint, piercing allows the top creative expression; one can create different designs with needle configurations and shapes, colors, decorative ribbon, and other items. Imagine putting feathers in the hubs of the needles after they have been placed and transforming your bottom into a peacock.

  Some bottoms use piercing as an adjunct to a scene involving medical play, other temporary body modification, or blood play, while others may do it solely for the sensation of being pierced and its accompanying endorphin rush. Endorphins are morphine-like substances originating from within the body—the body’s natural painkiller. Endorphins cause those feelings of exhilaration we get when we experience pain, stress, or excitement. When I pierce my own chest during a hook pull ritual, I get a sense of opening myself up on a deep level. Whether they are called chakras, loci, or meridians, different parts of the body hold special significance in certain spiritual beliefs and this can be accessed through piercing.

  I took off my shirt and my bra and lay back on the bed. I was nervous, but he said he would walk me through it. I took a deep breath as he placed the first needle in my chest and exhaled as he pushed it through. I moaned in pleasure as the needle passed through my flesh. The adrenaline kicked in and I felt warm all over. My heart was racing. It made me feel beautiful. He kissed me deeply and caressed my body as I continued to moan and quiver. Sometimes physical pain is the best way to relieve emotional pain.

  —MANDI

  PIERCING SUPPLIES

  Let’s talk about the supplies you need to work with needles in a scene. Ideally, you need a bottom to poke, but you could start on yourself if you like. Besides needles and cleanup supplies, you’ll need an understanding of basic anatomy and know how to prepare the skin, and you should know the medical history of the person you are piercing. Keep in mind that there are people out there who have needle phobias. They have an irrational fear of needles and will pass out in response to touching, being poked by, or even seeing needles. Trust me, it has happened in my classes.

  When asking a partner about his or her medical history, find out if they have any allergies. Common allergies that pertain to needle work include allergies to latex and to iodine or shellfish. If the bottom has an allergy to latex, you will want to use nitrile or vinyl gloves. Should you encounter a shellfish/ iodine allergy, use a skin prep other than Povidone-iodine. Also inquire about bleeding disorders and the use of blood-thinning medications. These do not necessarily disqualify a person from having needles put into them, but you should take into consideration bruising and make sure any bleeding has stopped.

  Skin Prep

  In order to prepare the skin and decrease the risk of infection when using needles, you should use a skin prep solution. There are many types—some are more readily available, and some may be more cost effective. I personally like to use Chlorhexidine. However, any of the preparations discussed below will work; just be sure to follow the manufacturer’s directions for use as skin prep. Some of these come as a solution that you can apply with sterile gauze pads; some are also available as individually wrapped pads with the solution on them.

  • 61% ethyl alcohol Ethyl alcohol is commonly found in antibacterial hand soap; you can buy 61% solution at your local pharmacy.

  • Povidone-iodine The most common brand name of this solution is Betadine, and it can be found in drugstores. If the bottom is allergic to shellfish or iodine, do not use Povidone-iodine. Note: this solution will temporarily discolor the skin.

  • 70% isopropyl alcohol This is the least expensive solution on the list and the easiest to find in drugstores; however, in medical studies, it’s also the least effective at killing bacteria found on the skin.

  • 6% benzocaine with isopropyl alcohol 70% The same as above, but this product also numbs the skin a little.

  • Chlorhexidine Chlorhexidine comes in 2% or 4% concentrations or a 1% concentration combined with 61% ethyl alcohol. You can purchase these at your local pharmacy or from online medical suppliers.

  Gloves

  There are many types of gloves out there, but I tend to use nitrile gloves because they are latex free and I can get them in purple. Purple is the color of the hanky for piercing, should you wish to do any flagging. I find latex gloves more stretchy and easier to put on. Nitrile and vinyl gloves, though latex free, are harder to put on, especially if your hands get moist from sweating or if you are changing gloves frequently. You may find that some bottoms react poorly to the sight of blood. Black gloves are available, often used by tattoo artists and piercing shops, that decrease the visibility of blood on the gloves, should things get a little messy. For you folks who are all into the “black look,” these would enhance your wardrobe.

  Cleanup Supplies

  When you are using needles, you may encounter blood, so always have cleanup supplies handy. Don’t make things too complicated. You can use plain paper towels to clean up the holes. If inclined to do so, you can treat each hole as a trauma wound and tape gauze pads to each one. To clean work surfaces, use a 10% household bleach solution and paper towels. Make this solution by mixing one and a half cups of household bleach and a gallon of water, or one part bleach to nine parts water. Make sure you are wearing gloves when working with bleach. Bleach begins to lose its effectiveness in a short period of time, so discard the bleach after your cleanup. Make a new batch of bleach solution if you do not use it within 24 hours.

  Illustration 8.1. Piercing needles

  Needles

  Needles come in a plethora of sizes (or gauges), the most common being 25, 23, 22, 20, and 18. They are measured by their diameter: the larger the number, the smaller the diameter. Thus an 18-gauge needle is a larger-diameter needle (1.270 mm outside diameter) than a 25-gauge (0.508 mm outside diameter). Additionally, needles come in varying lengths, the most common being ⅝ inch, 1 inch, and 1½ inch. Use only single-use disposable needles in sterile packaging.

  For the most part, you will want to use “hubbed” needles, as they are the most commonly available, cheapest to buy, and have the bonus feature of a “handle” which aids placement of the needle (See Illustration 8.1: Piercing needles.) Another name for this type of needle is hypodermic, from Greek, meaning under the skin. Hub needles can be obtained from online medical supply stores or fetish supply stores. Be sure you are abiding by your local laws concerning the purchase of needles. Other needle types include acupuncture, spinal, TB, insulin, body piercing, Huber, and biopsy.

  HOW TO PIERCE

  When I am pierced, I have the sensation that I’m flying—I feel simultaneously grounded and floaty. I love the very intimate invasion of personal space that piercing produces, the involuntary giggling, the contact high. I love the air of danger, of doing something that others deem “too out there,” and loving it. I love to see fresh red blood, not the least bit oxidized yet, trailing down my flesh and the patterns it makes as it soaks into a sheet.

  —AMY

  Beginning piercers should stick to fleshy places like the chest, back, arms, and legs. Bas
ically, if you can pinch the skin and not feel muscle between your fingers, it is okay to put a needle there. Until you are more experienced and have gained more education, avoid piercing the genitals, face, neck, tongue or other less fleshy areas of the body. Some bottoms may feel more at ease if they are able to watch; others are horrified to watch. Pick what is right for the scene.

  When you are prepping the skin, use the recommendations provided by the manufacturer of the product you are using.

  Pinch a section of skin between your fingers. Insert the needle parallel to the surface of the skin. (See Illustration 8.2: Needle insertion.) Using this technique, you prevent the needle from penetrating anything vital. How close you pierce to the body determines how much of the needle will be in the skin and how deep the needle will be buried. Also, you must take into account the length of your needle. If you want the tip of the needle to come back out of the skin, you need to pierce higher up on your pinch and farther away from the body.

  Grasp the needle with your dominant hand, using your thumb and index finger to hold the needle by its hub. Line up the needle parallel to the surface of the skin next to the place you have pinched, and be sure that your fingertips are far enough away that you are not going to poke yourself when the needle comes out the other side. Bottoms may jump in response to the initial poke or squirm as you push the needle through the skin. Anticipate this movement to avoid poking yourself. Some piercers leave the pointy end of the needle inside the skin after they have placed it. This can keep you from getting poked by a “dirty” needle (one that has already been used) if you are placing needles close together.

  Some piercers put needles through fast, while others push slowly. The choice is yours—each way produces a different sensation. Larger-gauge needles, 12 and above, may require a sterile lubricant to aid their insertion.

  You will soon discover that not everyone’s skin is the same. Some people have thin skin, which makes piercing very easy, while others have thick, tough skin requiring a sledgehammer to drive the needle in. The thicker the skin, the more difficult it is to pinch. Coating the needle with sterile lube may help you with needle placement in tough skin.

  Illustration 8.2. Needle insertion

  OTHER CONSIDERATIONS

  One factor to consider is room temperature. A warmer room is more conducive to people passing out in response to needles, so you may want to think about that if you have a bottom with a fear of needles. Heating up the room to keep your bottom warm might be a bad idea. Besides, a cold room can make the nipples erect and easier to pierce—when you get more pokes under your belt. (Okay, I might have a nipple fetish.)

  If you poke needles straight down into the skin—that is, perpendicular to the skin surface, you run the risk of poking organs such as the lungs, heart, intestines, liver, and spleen. This is especially true with longer needles. Stick to the simple technique of pinching the skin unless you have studied human anatomy. If you want to be a great piercer, take a college course in anatomy and physiology.

  I especially do not advocate poking needles straight into the breast tissue of female-bodied people. (Imagine the breast as a birthday cake with candles). There are structures in the female breast that are more susceptible to infection; placing puncture wounds deep into the breast increases the risk of infection. It is my opinion that women who are breast-feeding are at an even higher risk.

  Always dispose of your needles in a puncture-proof plastic container. Many people just use commercially manufactured “sharps” containers, but some local ordinances allow for disposal of needles in regular trash. Please check your local laws concerning needle disposal. Many public dungeons often have specific containers for disposal of bloody materials such as paper towels and gloves.

  HOW THE BODY REACTS TO PIERCING

  Bottoms can react in different ways to piercing. Those who enjoy piercing will welcome the sensation and be receptive to it. Some may get very still, while others may thrash about. It is best to talk to your bottom and discuss how he may react. Remember that piercing is unlike some other SM activities in that a fear of needles is a common phobia. Let’s face it: most of our first experiences with needles were in a medical office—not the best introduction to piercing and needles. With a person who has never been pierced before, always prepare for the worst, but be open to everything. You cannot always predict how someone’s body will react to needles.

  One evening my wife, Katie, and I were having sex in our home dungeon. Katie and I had been together for about four years at the time and I had yet to place needles in her nipples. This seemed like a great time to address that oversight. By this point Katie was really hating me—at anything I did she screamed “No!” and fought back in anger. I should add that Katie and I are very experienced at what we do. She often protests during our scenes—it’s part of how we do BDSM. As I inserted a single needle into each nipple, you would have thought I was cutting a limb off. If she had not been rendered immobile, I think she would have run out of the house naked.

  So what size needles did I put in her nipples? It may surprise you to know that I used 25-gauge ⅝-inch needles. Keep in mind that Katie has no problems with needles in general—I have poked her hundreds of times, but her nipples are borderline hypersensitive. When I proposed marriage to her, she was suspended from six 8-gauge hooks in her back. So why did she have such a violent reaction to these tiny, tiny things in her nipples? The answer is context, location, and pain theory. When it comes to needle work, size really does not matter, nor does the number of needles you place.

  There is a theory called “wind-up” that pertains to pain and the body’s response to pain. Wind-up pain results from the constant bombardment of the neurons in the spinal cord. Pain becomes amplified and the body develops opioid tolerance: opioid painkillers are no longer effective. If pain goes untreated during surgery, for example, wind-up can occur, causing the patient to wake up with increased sensitivity to pain. Additionally, the body’s own natural responses to pain no longer work. All that adrenaline and those endorphins go right out the door. This may be an “aha” moment for some of you.

  Taking this into account, I knew that I did not have to place harpoons into Katie’s nipples to get the sexual satisfaction I wanted. This understanding about the body’s response to pain enabled me to avoid the potential complications of greater trauma or damage caused by larger-gauge needles in such a small target. Yeah, I did fuck her one more time after the needles were in place, but I held her for a long time after it was over—she was in a rather fragile emotional state.

  THE RISKS

  When you puncture someone’s skin, you must be aware of the potential dangers. If you slide a needle into someone, then accidentally poke yourself as it comes out the other side, you can be exposed to their blood. The most common potentially infectious body fluids are: blood, preseminal fluid (precum), semen, vaginal secretions, and any fluid in which blood can be seen (for example, bloody saliva after brushing teeth). Exposure can be defined as an incident when the potentially infectious blood or body fluids of one person come in contact with the blood or body fluids of another. If these fluids come into contact with cuts or sores, hangnails, needle sticks, or mucous membranes, there is the potential for exposure. Mucous membranes are those linings or cavities of the human body that are exposed to air: the linings of the digestive tract and the mouth, respiratory tract and nose, conjunctiva of the eyes, and the genitourinary tract, including the urethra. Contact of potentially infectious body fluids with intact skin does not constitute exposure.

  The bloodborne pathogens that are of greatest concern are the hepatitis B and C viruses (HBV and HCV) and Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV). Blood contains the highest concentrations of HBV, HCV, and HIV, thus contact with blood poses the highest risk of transmission.

  Based on 2005 statistics, the known risk for becoming infected with HIV after a percutaneous exposure (needle stick) to blood containing HIV is approximately 0.3 percent—that is, 1 out of 300 exposures w
ill result in seroconversion. The rate for hepatitis B-positive seroconversion in a nonimmunized host is 6 to 24 percent and for exposure to hepatitis C, 1 to 10 percent.

  Hepatitis B and C

  When contracted, hepatitis attacks the liver and can result in lifelong illness. Liver cancer, failure of the liver, permanent scarring of the liver called cirrhosis, and death can occur after a person has become infected with HBV or HCV.

  A carrier is an individual who is infected by the virus and has not recovered fully from infection. They may harbor the virus for the rest of their life without any signs or symptoms of infection. The only way to know if you are infected with HBV or HCV is to get a blood test.

  A virus needs a host such as a human to live in. Many viruses do not survive long outside the human body. HCV can stay alive in a drop of blood for up to four days. HBV is a rather strong “bug” that can live in a drop of blood for about a week. Hepatitis B and C are easier to acquire than HIV for this reason.

  There is an HBV vaccine available. It consists of a series of three injections given over a six-month period. I recommend that all persons involved in BDSM activities get the series.

  HIV/AIDS

  HIV is the virus that causes Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS). It is a rather weak virus compared to HBV, in that it is easily destroyed outside the human body. HIV is less contagious than HBV or HCV because there are lower concentrations of HIV in a drop of blood. However, there is still a serious risk of transmission. The stage of infection affects the concentrations of the virus in body fluids—the more advanced the illness, the higher the concentration of the virus. Currently there is no approved HIV vaccine.