by Cachet
At first Terry begged me not to leave him, but when he saw that his pleas fell on death ears his begging immediately turned to anger. He called me every name in the book as he carried each of his bags one by one to his car. I ignored his rants, choosing to not saying a word, because in my mind it was pointless. I wasn’t going to feed into his nonsense, because by then I was kind of at peace about the issue. It wasn’t until he got to the final bag when he threated to beat my ass that I finally responded. I let his ass know that if he put his hands on me, he would be carted right back to jail, because I refused to allow him to hit me again. I wasn’t his punching bag, and I’d be damned if he hit me but wouldn’t hit the “side-bitch”. Oh no, that shit wasn’t going to fly. Apparently he knew I wasn’t bullshitting, because soon after he hopped in his car and drove his monkey ass off. That was close to five weeks ago, and I haven’t spoken to him at all since.
You may have thought I was bullshitting, but I said I wasn’t messing with him anymore. I meant what the fuck I said and that’s that we don’t have shit else to talk about. That day as I sat in the bathtub, I made a vow to start loving myself more, and I can’t possibly do that with Terry around. Nah, I have plans to keep that vow. You just watch and see.
*****
“Mommy, can I have some bananas?” Kendrick asks with a snaggletooth smile.
He’s been smiling a lot since his second front tooth came out the other day. I wasn’t sure what it was all about at first, until I found out that some fast tail girl in his class told him that it made him look cuter. I guess it’s safe to say that he believes her, because I can’t get the smile off his face if I tried.
“You sure can baby. Only grab about two or three of them, because last time they ended up getting thrown in the trash,” I tell him.
“Okay.”
While Kendrick runs over to the banana bin, I push my cart over to the heads of lettuce. I’m so focused on watching him that I don’t even notice I’m about to hit someone, until I’m running over their feet.
“Oh my God, I’m so sor—” My voice is halted when I look up and realized who I’m talking to.
“It’s okay,” he smiled. “How have you been Nair?”
I swallow the lump in my throat before responding.
“I’ve been okay. How have you been Terry?” I ask, although I really don’t want to know. What I want to do is grab my son, and run out of the store.
“I’ve been alright.” Terry drops his eyes and brings them up my body slowly. “You look good.”
“Thank you,” I reply stepping back behind the cart.
“I’ve been calling you.”
“I know,” I answer, not really wanting to talk about it.
My heart is beating rapidly in my chest, and my hands are sweaty. As I watch him staring at me lustfully, I know that I have to get away from him or else I will be in trouble. Terry looks good, real good. Shit, good enough to eat. Just looking at him standing there in a pair of basketball shorts, is making my pussy jump. His toned arms and muscular chest are filling out the snug wife beater that he’s wearing. I shake my head from side to side, trying to rid the nasty thoughts that are bouncing around in my head, because I have to be strong. I don’t know what kind of hold this man still has on me, because it’s a dangerous one.
“Why haven’t you returned my ca—”
“I got my three mommy,” Kendrick runs with the bananas in his hand, saving me from a conversation that I didn’t want to have. “Oh, hey Terry, where have you been?”
As soon as the words leave his lips, I wish that I would have told my son more about mine and Terry’s break up. I didn’t really know what to say, so when Kendrick came home and asked me about Terry, I just said, “He’s going to be gone for a while,” hoping that after a few weeks he would forget about him. Yeah, I knew that shit wasn’t going to fly, but that was all I could come up with at the time. Now it’s coming back to bite me in the ass.
“What’s up little man?” Terry responds. “I’ve been out and about, you know, handling things. What have you been up to?”
“You know school and stuff like that,” Kendrick answers while attempting to sound grown.
Terry laughs, “Are you keeping your grades up?”
“Yep, I just got my report card a few days ago, and I got five A’s and three B’s,” Kendrick bragged, smiling again.
“That’s what’s up!” Terry reached into his pocket. “How much did I tell you I’ll give you for each A?”
“Ten dollars,” Kendrick answered with a smile.
“And how much did I say for B’s?” Terry asked smiling himself.
“Five dollars,” Kendrick answered.
“So how much do I owe you?”
Terry and I both stood silent while Kendrick calculated the math in his head. A few seconds later his eyes damn near popped out of his head when he realized how much money he was going to get.
“I know!” Kendrick yelled, causing a few of the people around us to look our way.
“Kendrick,” I eyed him, reminding him with only a look to lower his voice.
“I’m sorry mommy,” he apologized, before directing his eyes back on Terry. “Sixty-five dollars.”
“That’s right. Here’s your sixty-five dollars.” Terry handed over the money.
“Thank you Terry,” Kendrick said, taking the money and stuffing it into his pocket.
“You know you’re always welcome little man. Just keep getting those good grades, alright?”
“Yes,” Kendrick told him, before turning to me. “Mommy, can we go to Chuck E Cheese today?”
“Yes, I will take you to Chuck E Cheese,” I smiled, because I love to see my son happy.
“Can Terry come?”
“Umm,” I stalled feeling uncomfortable. “I’m sure Terry has other things to do today.”
“Actually I don’t,” he answered. Sneaky asshole, I thought as he smirked. “I’m free for the rest of the day.”
“Yayyyy!” Kendrick jumped up and down with his hands in the air.
“Well it’s settled, we are all going to Chuck E Cheese today,” Terry said.
I rolled my eyes. “I guess we are,” I mumble, not believing that I’ve allowed this shit to happen.
“I’ll pick y’all up at six, is that okay little man?”
“Six is perfect,” Kendrick responded.
“I’ll see you later,” Terry told me.
I don’t reply, instead I push my cart away wondering how the hell I’m going to pull this off.
*****
Lying in my bed, I roll onto my side and stare at the wall in deep thought. A single tear rolls from my eye and down onto my pillow beneath my head. My emotions are all over the place right now. I’m not sure what to think, what to do, or who to blame for what has transpired. Everything was all good just a few days ago. I was at peace, and although Terry crossed my mind every other day, I knew what I had to do. He was more of an afterthought then, or maybe a pleasant memory. I was just getting him out of my system, only to run into him at the grocery store. If that wasn’t bad enough, Kendrick inviting him out with us was just too much. I should have said no, or made up some other excuse.
I feel my bed sink as Terry scoots closer. When he’s close enough he places his arm around me and gently begins to massage on of my breasts. Even though I don’t want to, I shiver from his touch because it feels so good. After allowing him to pull me closer I close my eyes when he tightens his hold on me. I release a moan, and mentally admit that this is a feeling that I’ve missed this past month.
How did I get back here?
The bad part is that I know exactly how it happened. It all started at Chuck E Cheese. When we got there, Terry told Kendrick that he could keep his money for his grades, and instead he paid for everything. While we were there he acted like the perfect father figure. Now don’t get me wrong, Terry has always showed Kendrick love and treated him like he was his son, but since he had been running in the streets these
last few months, things started to change. So to see him in Chuck E Cheese acting like his old self really warmed my heart.
Together they played every game that Kendrick wanted to play, and my baby loved it. So much so that he barely paid me any mind. Because of this, I sat at one of the tables and played on my iPad, while they had fun. I was able to catch up on some reading, so that was fine by me. Once the festivities were over and it was time to go, Terry got Kendrick everything what he wanted from the little store in front, even though he didn’t have enough tickets to pay for it all. That really brought a smile on Kendrick’s face. The whole drive back all he could talk about was how much fun he had, and how he can’t wait to go back. By the time we pulled up to my house, the once excited and talkative Kendrick was out like a light. Terry hopped out and carried him into the house while I stayed behind and collected all of his toys from the backseat.
By the time I made it upstairs, Terry had already undressed Kendrick and tucked him into bed. I thanked him, and followed him back down the stairs preparing to tell him goodbye. It was then that Terry broke down and told me how much he missed me and Kendrick. At first I sat stone faced, but it didn’t take long for me to start crying too. It bothered me to see the man that I loved hurting, and just like always I was willing to do anything to fix it. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, we were having hot and sweaty make-up sex on the living room floor.
Over the last week we’ve done it a few more times, and right now I don’t know what to say or how to feel. Since Terry’s been here neither of us has brought up Brittany or the baby, and even though it’s killing me not to ask I know that it’s probably for the best. My doctor says that I should keep my stress level to a minimum and that’s exactly what I’ve been trying to do for the last few weeks. It’s hard though when you have so much going on. I can honestly say that I have a lot on my plate. There’s work, Kendrick, and my mom, who seems to getting worse every time I go see her. Add in the fact that Terry is dead set on making this work, and you would see why my mind is all over the place.
Terry’s hand slid down my body and stop on my stomach. My heart beat races, and I begin to wonder if he knows. Not knowing what else to do, I discreetly place my hand on top of his and guide him back up toward my chest. Just to make sure it doesn’t happen again, I intertwine my fingers with his to hold them in place. I’m not sure just how long I can keep the fact that I’m pregnant from him, but at almost three months with a growing bump, it’s becoming harder and harder to do. Since I’m not sure exactly what will happen between the two of us, I think I’ll keep it to myself just a little bit longer.
“You okay baby?” Terry whispers in my ear.
“I’m okay,” I reply.
“Good. I love you,” he says, before placing a single kiss on the back of my neck.
“I love you too,” I respond, hating that I mean it so much.
To be continued…