Manage Me (Taven's Circus Book 1)

by Unknown

  “Like that fucking sparkly douche vampire? No!” He crosses his arms over his massive chest.

  “Whoa, got that Twilight reference awfully fast there, Rockstar. There goes your man card.”

  “Ashton likes to act like a dude but she’s into all that girlies shit like the rest of you.”

  “Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night, Baby.” I say with a smirk as I am attacked to the ground by the angry beast man.

  45 angry naked sweaty minutes later, we lay there panting and snuggling together.

  “Fuck, that sassy mouth of yours makes me lose control. I’m going to have to come up with another way of punishing you.”

  “I’ll look forward to it.” I mumble against his neck causing him to grown.

  “We need to get dressed and go before I take you again.”

  We detangle ourselves, locate our clothes, before cleaning up our mess, and getting back on the bikes to head back into the city. We make the rounds to all the fun tourist places in Seattle; The Space Needle, the EMP Museum (Jaden was super excited about seeing Kurt Cobain’s guitar. We explored the famous Pike Place Market, seeing the fish fly, all the hand-made good, the art, and the foods. Jaden bought me a beautiful bouquet of wild flowers, which he had snuck off to get while I was distracted in a jewelry booth. If there was ever a more perfect day, I wanted nothing to do with it, this was the only day I ever wanted to live over and over again.

  ******************************

  We got back to the bus after having an amazing dinner in a wonderful seafood restaurant called Aqua that was right down on the water. Jaden is practically bouncing as he rushes me into the back bedroom, his acoustic guitar in hand. I dig out my little black case as the nerves start to rush in. I’ve never played with anyone else. What if I screw up and can’t follow the same beat and timing. Upon standing Jaden is right behind me, wrapping me up tight in his large arms.

  “Please don’t be nervous, I’ll still love you, always, even if you suck ass.” Surprisingly this makes me laugh and the nerves settle back. We sit down on the bed and fiddle with our instruments, when ready we look at one another and Jaden starts playing. I wait a few beats I jump in. We play through the whole song a few times, playing in sync and getting lost together. Jaden starts to sing softly along and I pick up harmonizing on the chorus.

  “Silence is deafening

  Hearts are empty

  Love for none

  Decay eats it away

  The empty crevice remains.

  Her song singing,

  Her song weeping,

  Her song killing and feeding,

  That heart left to float

  A blackened soul will never repent

  Never again will breath escape

  My fucking soul to die

  My soul so filled with hate.

  Her song singing,

  Her song weeping,

  Her song killing and feeding

  Bleeding

  Time ticking, life careening

  To be used as a tool

  Will tonight be your night?

  Do you want to fill this hole?

  I’ll never let her go

  I’ll hold her heart

  I can’t promise her no pain

  I won’t promise her light.”

  We fiddle and played with the music and the longer we are at it the more curious the band got, each one slowly trickles in. I find myself comfortable with them, even when all five of us are crammed in the back with our instruments. We play nearly all night running through several other Toven’s songs that my violin would fit in. I’ve always have loved music but I don’t ever remember a time where I had so much fun while making it. Where I have been so relaxed and calm as the sound flowed through me and out of Lil Ella.

  We worked on several other songs that we could dial back to an acoustic arrangement. Jaden was already playing “Her Song” and they liked the idea of doing a couple others along with it. Then Finn shocked me.

  “Nell, why don’t you join us on stage for the acoustic part of the show. The violin really makes the songs sound perfect, the fans will love it.”

  “I…I…” I didn’t know what to say, I hated playing in front of others but him asking is me to join them on stage is beyond unbelievable. Before I can say no though Jaden jumps in.

  “She doesn’t like playing in front of people. Even though she’s astounding.”

  “You played in front of us.” Ryker says.

  “I was playing with you.” I correct and he laughs, there is always that one friend that has to turn something innocent into something dirty…ours is Ryker.

  “I’m down for an orgy. I think it would bring the band closer together.” He reaches an arm around Ashton attempting to pull her close but she pushes him off.

  “Good luck with that Ry.” Finn says lightly but his face looks like he would rather rip Ryker’s arms off and beat him with them.

  “The Gorge would be a great place for you to try out playing with us. There won’t be any media out there and it’s really one of the most beautiful stages to play on. If you get nervous you can turn and look at the view. Just think about it, okay? It’s a couple days until the show and we will continue to play together so you can get comfortable with us.” Ashton adds ignoring the boys.

  “I’ve never played with a band before. It’s always been just me. Tonight was a lot of fun and I actually feel really comfortable with you guys. I would like the next couple days though. I would like to see the venue and settle into the idea. I want to thank you all so much for asking me, I don’t want you to think I am being ungrateful. I feel kind of speechless really.” I release a chuckle.

  They all ban together and swoop me up into a tight hug. “You’re a keeper, Beauty!” Ryker says before getting a smack from Jaden.

  Chapter 31

  Nell

  We head out in the morning for The Gorge but we need to stalk the bus with supplies before we leave and I decide to drag Ashton along with me. We haven’t spent any alone time together without the boys and it would be nice to get to know her a little better and what better way to get to know someone than to go for it.

  “So Ashton, how long have you been sweating Finn?” I ask with the most serious face I can muster.

  “Wow, you really just jump right into it huh? Don’t you want to do some small talk first?” she deadpans.

  “I only have a limited amount of alone time with you. I’m pretty sure the Finn shit goes back years, so stop evading and spill it, Sugar.”

  “God you’re bossy. Jaden and you are perfect for each other.” She says with a sigh, crossing her arms over her chest. “Yes, the Finn thing goes back fucking years. It’s goddamn pathetic, and no matter how hard I have tried, I can’t seem to shake these feelings I have for the big beautiful bastard. How did you know? Did Jaden or Ryker tell you?”

  “Honey, it’s written all over your face whenever that huge piece of Viking man meat walks into the room. I take it he doesn’t know?” The sadness that fills her face as she shakes her head no about breaks my heart. “All this time, all these years, and nothing? Damn, that boy is dumb.”

  “Jaden noticed first before even I did, then Ryker was there the night of “the kiss”. She says.

  “Wait, you two have kissed? How was it?” Fuckin-A at least there was some hope.

  On a huge sigh she flops back in her seat. “Holy fuck me, it was toe curling incredible and perfect. But of course the next morning he came and apologized.”

  “You have to be fucking kidding me! Apologized? How insulting!” I’m so pissed off for her. “How did “the kiss” happen?

  “We were in Dublin, Ireland, it was the last show of our European tour. So everyone was partying, drinking, and having a great time. We were completely pissed drunk. Jaden had gone off…Uh…Sorry.” She stumbles to a stop, looking guilty.

  “Ash, its fine, I’m well aware of Jaden’s former whorish ways.” I say causing her to giggle.

&n
bsp; “Yeah, he was a huge man whore. So anyway, Jaden was off being a slut. We has a been at a pub and when Finn started trying to nap on the table we decided it was time to go back to the hotel we were staying at. Ryker and I practically had to carry Finn’s gigantic ass to his bed. Ryker left to go pass out and I stayed to make sure Finn wasn’t going to die in his own vomit. I pulled off his boots and jeans, making sure he was comfortable, of course.” She sends me a wink.

  ”I put a trash bin next to his bed and made sure he was on his side, just in case. At that point, I may have sat down next to him, just to look at him. I totally when creeper and ran my fingers through his hair, across his face, and into that fucking sexy beard he has. While admiring his lips, brushing the bottom one with my thumb, imagining how they would feel against my own, they opened and my thumb was suddenly sucked into his mouth. Fuck I was shocked, and instantly as a horny as a beast. He grabbed the back of my head and yanked me down to his face. I pulled my thumb from his mouth as he stared at me. I could tell he was questioning his next move, when he finally said, “Fuck it.” Slamming his mouth to mine. Nell, it was the most hypnotic, addictive, astonishing moment in my existence. Then his lips and hand go completely lax. The asshole passed out while I was experiencing complete euphoria. Then the next morning he pulls me aside, tell me he is sorry.

  “That fucking asshat.”

  “Right! Ugh, I should have punched him." She says with anger but looks so sad. “I was so hurt that I couldn’t move or say anything. He said he never should have kissed me. We had all been drinking and I was like a sister to him.” The car comes to a stop as she finishes talking. I reach out a hand for hers and when she grabs it I pull her into a hug.

  “Finn’s a blind idiot.” But I think he does have something there for Ashton. Alcohol is like a truth serum, his actions that say a lot and I think he is just worried about messing things up. I’ll have to talk to Jaden and Ryker, see what they think, see if they will help open his eyes.

  We climb out of the car and head into the store. They guys helped make up a list of foods that they would need, pretty much everything from the junk food sections. Ashton and I decided to cut out most of the crap and get healthy stuff. They would bitch but George, WA was in the middle of nowhere, so they would have to eat it or starve. Ally, my nanny, while I was growing up taught me to cook and bake. So I decided I would cook several dinners and bake some snacks.

  With our two carts completely loaded up, we chat about life as we stand in line at the check-out. I glance over at the magazines on display deciding to grab a few to keep my occupied while on the road. I grab Vogue and Cosmo tossing them in the cart before looking at the rag mags and stopping dead in my tracks.

  “Oh shit,” I whisper but Ashton hears me a looks.

  “Fuck…” She says grabbing one. On the four celebrity rag magazines displayed, all of them have a picture of Jaden and me from the day before, hugging, holding hands, laughing, and kissing. One reads “CHEATER!” another “Jaden James Affair Already!”, “Jaden James: Caught with His Pants Down.” The fourth reads, “A Heartbroken Emily Snow Speaks”.

  “Jesus, how does this shit happen so damn fast?” I hide my face in my hands. Ashton grabs all the magazines tossing them in the cart. Why I don’t know since most of it is probably lies but I’m masochistic enough not to stop her.

  We make our way through check out and back to the car. My phone is deeply buried in my black embossed LV Neverfull bag, I can hear its annoying buss but I’ll ignore it for as long as possible. Jaden will call Ashton’s phone if he needs me, my dad will just keep calling mine and I would rather just avoid him thanks.

  When we pull up to the bus, Jaden by the back of the bus on his phone. He looks furious, his jaw clinched and I can see the fire in his eyes from where I stand by the bus door. He catches me watching him and tries to send me a reassuring smirk but I can see he is worried. I help bring the groceries in and put away. I keep out some chicken for the whole crew. I make up a teriyaki marinade and put it all in the fridge. The boys can barbecue it when we get out to the camp site this evening. I realize then that I have been alone for a while. The band must need to, so I decide to grab my toiletries to put away, then take a shower.

  Chapter 32

  Emily

  “That stupid ugly little cunt. I told her to stay away from you my love. But did she listen? No, No she didn't. We will have to fix her, wont we because you love me. You want to be with me.” She paces the empty dark bedroom, empty except for her love, or the one that she calls her love until her real love, Jaden, can be with her.

  She flicks on the lights on her vanity. It’s the old style with the big round mirror and the little mushroom stool. Her mother was a Showgirl on the Vegas strip and used to have one in her dressing room. Her mother was also murdered in that dressing room, left for dead, laying across that little mushroom stool to be discovered by her 12 years old daughter. Staring in mirror, her mother looking back at her, brings back those memories. She was killed by the man who loved her.

  “We will get rid of her for you my love. We you want to be with us.” She says rubbing her flat stomach while watching the man tied to her bed.

  His head is slumped to the left as he has pasted out again after their sex-capades. Sex-capades that include heavy beatings, whippings, cutting, stabbing, and violent sodomy, all while she vigorously rapes the man until he passes out. It’s a game she’s been playing for years and only began to really enjoy when she became famous and had the money to really explore.

  Chapter 33

  Jaden

  I feel a bit more settled after laying out a game plan with the band but I still need to get Nell to agree, and frankly, I have no idea what her response will be. Craven is a fucking asshole and the second this tour is done, we are going leaving the label. Our contracted agreement is over and we haven’t signed a new one. The lawyers are supposed to be working on drafting one but we will be hiring our own to put a stop to that and to get us the hell out from under Craven’s thumb.

  *****************************************

  I’d planned to ask Nell to join me on stage to play during the acoustic set. I hadn’t been expecting the rest of the band to sneak in the room and jump on board asking her for me. Snuggled up behind her after I ravished her in the shower, she asked me dozens of questions about performing. I promised that we would go through things several times during sound check so she wouldn’t be surprised by anything but no matter how much I begged, she absolutely refused to sing with me. I would work on her though and hope she would give it a try once she became more comfortable on stage because there was no doubt she was made to be up there beside me.

  The day of the show rehearsal and sound check went great. Nell seemed relaxed but quiet, which was throwing me off some. I went out while the vendors were setting up their booths and found an older woman selling colorful flower wreaths to wear on your head. I bought one for Nell and ended up signing a pieces of paper for the old woman since she was a big fan.

  Nell stood in the wings watching us play the first half of the show. The sun setting behind her, bright flowers donning her head, and a smile on her face as she swayed to the music, I am finding it hard not to look at her. She looks fucking sexy in her black tank top with lace roses covering the back, hot pink short shorts, and black Converse with white poke-a-dots. She has on a pair of designer sunglasses so I cannot see if she’s stressing but from her body language I don’t think she it.

  It’s time.

  I jog off stage to Nell. She has her violin and bow in one hand, a double shot glass in the other, so much for thinking she wasn’t stressing.

  “You ready, Beauty?” I shoot her a grin. I can’t wait to play with her, to share this moment with her.

  She inhales a deep breath and nods. I grab her neck and seal my lips to hers immediately feeling the tension leave her body.

  “I love you and you are fucking awesome no matter what.” I mumble against her lips before deepening
the kiss. When we finally pull apart the crowd is chanting for our return. I grab her hand and we walk out on stage to our places at the front of the stage between Ashton and Ryker. They both sit on stools with acoustic guitars in their arms. Finn sits with a percussion shaker on a speaker in front of us. Nell and I will stand side by side so she is surrounded by those she feels most comfortable with.

  “SEEEATTLE!” I yell into the mic, making the crowd go wild for several minutes before I can continue. “We have something new were have been working on the last few days and wanted to share it here with you first. Are you guys down with that?” More yelling and screaming commences. I don’t introduce Nell, as we decided during rehearsal that she would rather remain nameless, “in case she vomits all over us”, her words not mine. Frankly she would be just paying me back for that night after Pinks.

  We open with an old song called Raven, from our first album. It’s a fan favorite and we thought they would like the new hauntingly creepy vibe we created for it. When Nell’s part is coming up I send her a reassuring smile and she jumps right in on time. Lighters and cell phones start popping up and swaying along as the crowd sings along with me. The voices and instruments echoing off the canyon walls adding to the unforgettably malevolent vibe swirling around as the sun sets on the day.