Protect Me

by Jennifer Culbreth

  “You look gorgeous, have you done something with your hair?” he smiled down at her.

  “Ahh, yes it’s called medicine induced coma. It’s actually better than Nyquil.” She attempted to smile.

  Ryan frowned down at her “I am so sorry Abbi, I should have never let you walk away from me last night. If I hadn’t been such a stubborn ass none of this would have happened.” He brushed his hands softly down her arms.

  “Ryan, this isn’t your fault.”

  “It happened on my boat, under my nose, by one of my employees.” His eyes began to flare with rage as he took in her swollen black eye.

  “Listen to me, what happened was nothing that any of us could have expected. Please don’t blame yourself. I am sure he will get what’s coming to him. I really don’t want to go the rest of my life having to face it every day from my friends. So please, for me, just let it go.” Her soft brown eyes were pleading up at him.

  “For now.” His words were short and to the point. Softly he took her into his arms and gently pulled her to him. Her head just reached the bottom of his chin, she felt him lower his lips into her hair and plant a soft kiss before looking down at her. These were the best kind of hugs, like the ones she used to get from her mom. She could feel his warm arms wrap completely around her body. Holding her just soft enough that it didn’t hurt, but enough that she felt safe and that everything would be ok. Slowly she looked up and caught his gaze. In that moment all of the terrible things from the night before floated from her mind. Being with Ryan, near him, in his arms, it just felt right. Like everything was normal again.

  Her stomach twisted and turned. Those dark eyes of his were almost sinful. She imagined the things this man could do to her as she looked into those eyes. Heat flamed within her belly as it slowly moved downward. As her mind began to wonder into different positions that she could potentially find herself in with Ryan, she heard Gabe quietly clear his throat from the other side of the room. Awkward moment, she had forgotten that he had been standing there the whole time. She reluctantly attempted to pull her arms back away from Ryan’s waist but he held onto her like a life raft as he turned towards Gabe.

  “Were you able to order some grub?” Ryan smiled over at Gabe.

  “Yeah, I got you that cheeseburger you wanted. He said it should be here in about fifteen minutes. I can head out once it gets here.” He tried looking around the room as if in search of something, but even through his complexion you could see the red rising in his cheeks.

  “Nah man, it’s cool. Eat here with us before you head out. I am sure you could use something to eat before you get some sleep.” Ryan slowly maneuvered Abbi to his side to try and ease some of the awkward tension in the room.

  “Ok, cool.” Gabe made his way back over into the living room, this time taking the small chair leaving them the couch.

  She settled onto the couch next to Ryan. As he took his seat next to her he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her head into his chest. As she lay there she listened to the rumble of his voice while he and Gabe chatted about football and trucks, she could feel her body slowly giving into sleep. She felt so tired, and the vibrations of his deep voice were lulling her into the most comfortable sleep. Her mind wandered through the night before, the first night she met Ryan at Mist, and the day that she saw him at the grocery store. She had been so hell bent on the fact that she wasn’t good enough for him. If that wasn’t the case then what was? Was it because he felt guilty for what happened? She dismissed the thought.

  As much as she knew it was going to hurt when he eventually realized that he wasn’t to blame for what had happened. She was willing to take what she could get of his presence for now. Slowly her thoughts became more vivid pictures throughout her mind. She was lying in her bed, the feel of the cotton sheets rubbing against her taut nipples; she could feel his hands as they slowly skimmed up the sides of her body. She could feel it rippling through her body as his lips slowly kissed down her neck along her collar bone, his deep voice calling out her name. Wait, what? Her head shot up almost too fast as the room began to spin. What the hell was that?

  “Abbi. Abbi, are you ok?” Ryan looked bemused.

  “Huh, yeah I’m fine. Why” She looked up at him, feeling the blush spreading in her cheeks. Had she just fallen asleep? That dream had felt so real.

  “You were just fidgeting around and grunting in your sleep. I was worried you were having a nightmare, or chasing rabbits.” He chuckled as the buzzer sounded. “Food’s here.” He gave her his award winning smile before rising off the couch and heading for the door.

  Food, it was now the only mission she wanted to complete, to get food into her body. Any other thoughts fled from her mind once she caught the smell coming from the bags. She could already feel the queasiness from lack of eating. Slowly she stood and made her way over to one of the bar stools placed along the free standing kitchen island. Ryan thanked the delivery man, and then brought the containers over to the island. He sat down a black plastic bowl and another plastic box in front of her before grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge for her. She was so hungry and she could smell the cheese and butter from the sandwich, and it made her stomach growl.

  She didn’t even concern herself with checking the temperature, she immediately dove head first into the tomato bisque soup. She tasted the light cream as the asiago and mozzarella cheeses swirled around her taste buds. The texture was amazing, just thick enough to dip her grilled cheese in, with small bits of tomato mingling in the broth. Though her lip burned slightly with her first few spoonfuls, she fought past the pain. She stopped only slightly to take in the looks on Ryan and Gabe’s faces. She must have looked like a stray dog that hadn’t eaten in weeks. Ryan just smiled, looking satisfied that she were able to get some food into her system. Gabe was now too busy tearing into his own sandwich to see anything else happening around the room.

  Again she remained quiet throughout lunch, focusing more on her food than the company. The two men talked before clearing up the empty plates and discarding them into the trash. With lunch being over she could see the exhaustion that had begun to set into Gabe’s face. She made her way back over to the couch as Ryan walked Gabe to the door. He stepped just outside of hearing range before stepping back inside the room. With the click of the door handle the butterflies in Abbi’s stomach went wild. Suddenly it was just the two of them in the room. Alone. Though she was in no way scared of her safety, she was nervous. She wasn’t sure what to say or what to do. Suddenly she remembered her phone was upstairs and that she hadn’t spoken to anyone in hours. Rising she made her way over to the stairs.

  “And where do you think you’re going missy?” Ryan shot her a coy smile from the other side of the kitchen before he made his way over to where she stood.

  “Uh, I was just gonna get my phone. I will be right back down.” She attempted a crooked smile.

  “I got it. You go lie down on the couch and try and rest.” He took a large step onto the stair case and was upstairs and back down in a matter of seconds. “Couch, lay, relax. That’s an order.” He smiled.

  “Aye, Aye Mister Captain Sir.” She saluted.

  “That’s completely wrong, but I will give that to you since you’re on the meds.” He ushered her over to the couch and laid her down. Grabbing the soft throw blanket that Gabe had been using this morning, he wrapped it around her and tucked her in. “When was the last time you took some medicine?”

  “It’s been a while. The last thing I remember is when the doctor gave me some on the boat.” She tried to rack her brain but she honestly couldn’t remember anything since she had seen the doctor.

  “I believe Ashley had you take another when we got you home, and that’s been a little over eight hours so you can take another if you’d like.” He sat just on the edge of the couch, his large body towering over her.

  “Yeah, my side is hurting pretty bad.” She grimaced when her hand caught the site of the large bruise.

  �
��Your side?” Ryan’s hands reached towards the bottom of her shirt before stopping. Clearly aware that after what she had gone through last night, he should probably ask permission before he touched her.

  “It’s ok.” She said lifting the hem of her shirt up just enough for the offensive purple and black marks to show.

  Ryan’s face went pale, he swiped his hand across his face before turning away from her. Though she knew she hadn’t done anything wrong, she felt like she was constantly making him angry.

  “I’m sorry.” She said timidly looking up towards the ceiling.

  “Abbi, you have nothing to be sorry for. I know I shouldn’t react like that, but I can’t help but want to kill him every time I look at you.” He turned back towards her, his eyes engulfed in flames of rage.

  “I know. I wish I had never agreed to go.” Abbi could feel the tears threatening again.

  “You will never have to worry about that again, I promise.” He smiled down at her reassuringly before rising.

  The emotions were welling up inside of her. She tried to distract her thoughts when he handed her a bottle of water and the small round white pill. But as she sat up to take the medicine throbbing pain shot through her side, sending her over the edge. One minute she was swallowing and the next she was sobbing into her blanket. She could feel Ryan’s arms envelop her but it didn’t stop the storm. She was angry, angry with herself. She should have known better, she was so naïve to just assume that Jeff was a nice guy that wanted to take her on a date. She was angry that she had compared him to Ryan, hell she had even used him against Ryan. She felt disgusted, violated, and hurt. Most of all hurt, not physical but the deep rooted emotional hurt that takes time to heal. She was confused, she was so confused to have gone through the ordeal she had gone through the night before and yet here she was having sexual desires for Ryan. She didn’t know what it meant, or if it made her a bad person.

  As she purged the tears from her eyes and pushed the racing thought from her mind, she began to feel like she was on Earth again. She could feel Ryan’s gentle sways back and forth as his hand gently rubbed up and down on her back. He just sat there and held her. Even after the sobs were over, he just held her. Slowly she lifted herself from his chest and wiped the tears from her face.

  “I’m sorry everything just hit me all at once. Thank you for being here Ryan. It means a lot to me.” She sniffled

  “Abbi, there is nowhere else I would rather be.” Softly he leaned in and planted a kiss on her temple. “I would like to finish our conversation from last night though.”

  “Which one, it’s all a bit of a haze.”

  “The one where you stubbornly wouldn’t let me explain myself.” He smiled.

  “Oh, yeah that one.”

  “Listen, I know you have this hell bent idea that you aren’t good enough for me. I don’t know if it’s because I have money, or because you have things in your past that make you feel that way. But I have never thought about you like that. Abbi I have wanted to ask you out since the first night I saw you.” He reached up and took her hands before he continued, “The only reason I didn’t was because I didn’t think it was fair for you.”

  “What do you mean fair for me?” She didn’t understand how his asking her out wouldn’t be fair for her. Shit she would have been thrilled.

  “Abbi, there are things from my past. Demons that haunt me that I would never want to bring into your life. I spent fifteen years in the Army and during that time I spent a lot of it overseas in a war zone. I couldn’t expect you to be proud of the things I have done.”

  “Ryan, I would never judge you for that. There are parts of my past that I don’t like either, they are a lot of the reason why I feel like I am not good enough. I understand how hard it is to deal with those issues. It is something that can only happen in time. We just have to work it out together.”

  “I promise I will work on it, I will not push you away. And if it takes me the rest of forever to make you feel like you belong, well then I will spend every minute working on that.”

  “Ok.” Her voice was shy and reserved. No man had ever made her feel so special.

  “Don’t worry about a thing ok. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, you just try and get some rest.”

  “I need to call Trent. I don’t know if he knows what’s going on, and I need to call Judy and Ashley they have to be wondering what’s happening.”

  “I took care of Trent, I explained what happened and he said to take as much time off as you needed.”

  “Oh, ok. But I am sure I will be able to go back in a day or so.”

  “Abbi, you have been through a lot in the past 24 hours. You need to give your body time to rest.”

  “Well unfortunately, some of us have bills to pay and the only way we can pay them is by working.” She rolled her eyes.

  “Abbi, the last thing you need to worry about is money. I can take care of whatever you need. I think I can dig up those jars I buried in the back yard.” He said trying to stifle the conversation.

  “Uh, not even on a good day would I let you pay my bills.” The stubbornness was written all over her face. “What do you think I am? A gold digger?”

  She wasn’t budging on this. Even though every muscle in her body screamed out to just let him handle things, she couldn’t bring herself to solely rely on a man. A man that she honestly didn’t know that well. Sure it all felt so natural with him, still she wouldn’t let him walk in and dictate her life. She was thrilled to know that he reciprocated some of the feelings that she had, but she wanted the chance to get to know him first before she turned the power bill on in his name.

  “I thought we both agreed to work on our stubbornness.” He narrowed his eyes playfully as he continued. “Ok, we will see how you feel in a day or so and go from there, how about that?” He smiled showing his perfect white teeth.

  “Don’t use your handsome smile on me. I am going back to work in two days. I don’t care if I have to pour drinks with crutches holding me up.” She crossed her arms and looked sideways at him.

  “You think I’m handsome?”

  “That’s all you got from that, really?” She couldn’t help but show the smile she was hiding.

  “You need to get some rest ok. I have already talked to Judy and Ashley. They are going to come over tomorrow morning. You get some sleep.” He leaned her back on the couch against a pillow.

  “Are you, staying?”

  “As long as you will have me, yes.” He leaned in and kissed her forehead as he tucked the blanket gently around her body.

  She smiled as she closed her eyes. This was going to be the start of something good. She let her thoughts drift off as she slowly fell into a contented sleep.

  Chapter Eleven

  It had been everything in him to leave Abbi’s side every morning since he had gotten her home. He wasn’t sure how she would take to him taking control of everything but so far she had been only slightly resistant and on only a few issues. But he knew this would be a walk before run kind of situation. Even though he knew deep down inside that this was the woman that he was put on this earth to protect and cherish, he had to work up to that. He had to quell the urge to swoop in and take over everything, it was his personality and he had the means to do it. But that wasn’t what she wanted and a part of him didn’t want that either, his damn head was so confused. This relationship shit was more frustrating than anything he had ever encountered before. Hell, tactical missions in the middle of the dessert made more since to him than trying to be in a relationship.

  As he woke this morning he found Abbi in the same position she had been in for pretty much the past three days, asleep on the couch. She was so beautiful when she slept, her mouth parted slightly and her face looked so relaxed, her chocolate brown hair spilling onto the pillow. He had slept in the arm chair across from her every night. It was small and he barely fit in it, but he had also slept on a cot in the dessert for months on end, so he was used to making the b
est of a situation. Honestly there had been no choice in the matter anyway. He would have slept on the floor if it had meant being able to stay with her.

  His normal routine would be to get up and fix her something to eat, he had figured out she liked having yogurt and fruit for breakfast, so he would package it into a container and leave it in the fridge for her. He would quietly tip toe around gathering his things, before leaving a note on the dry erase board on her fridge. It usually consisted of some heartfelt apology on why he had to go to work and that he would be back as soon as he could. Then he would sneak out of her apartment and head off towards his home to get ready and go into the office.

  However today was Saturday and he didn’t have a damn thing to do. Since Abbi was getting around much better, he thought she may be up to do something today. Quietly he got up from the chair and gathered the cards from their Go Fish tournament the night before, placing them back into the small box and heading towards the kitchen. He searched quietly for the pans, a bowl, chopping board, a good knife, two plates, and two glasses. He grabbed a package of bacon from the fridge, along with a carton of eggs, and the milk. He cracked a few eggs into a bowl before whisking them with a fork, then pouring them into the warming skillet. He may not be the best cook, but he knew how to fix scrambled eggs and bacon.

  As the smell of the bacon and butter began to waft throughout the apartment, he heard Abbi stir on the couch. Looking over he saw her sitting up, rubbing her eyes. Her hair fell loosely around her face and onto her shoulders. The light from the balcony door came through the windows behind her, shining a halo of light around her. She looked angelic to say the least. A sleepy smile spread across her face before she got up and walked towards him. He had to remind himself to breath a few times, her black yoga pants hugging every curve as the over large t shirt dropped down one of her shoulders. She came up to the island and took a deep breath through her nose as she leaned onto the counter across from him.