Broken Survivor

by Jennifer Labelle

  “I will be, but I messed up again, and I’m sorry.” Emma wiped away some fresh tears. “I’m so sick of this. You guys deserve better. Hell, I deserve better, and from now on it’ll be just the three of us. At least for a while, I promise.”

  Their mom had given Clay two years to find a job, to do something with himself, and in that time he’d done the exact opposite. He’d lied about his family’s wealth, the good job he’d supposedly had when he left Toronto, and about his so-called children. He’d only made one attempt to contact them by phone in the whole time Emma had been with him. Supporting two children as a single mother was hard enough, and Emma was finally kicking the deadbeat to the curb.

  Good riddance, Holly thought.

  When Clay first came into the picture, things were different from when Christian was around. In the couple of years he and Emma had been together he’d never physically hurt any of them. He was the quiet type, weird, and a little perverted; when their mother wasn’t looking, he gave the girls lingering glances. He’d filled a void in a time her mother was in need of someone, a warm body to fill her bed and satisfy certain needs. He was nothing compared to the shit Christian had done, yet it would still be a relief to see him go. Enough was finally enough, and as they sat there, Emma explained the reasons for the breakup, seeming tired of caring for the third child he’d become.

  ***

  Emma

  “Woohoo, baby. Take. It. Off!”

  “Shall I get that one for you later?” Emma chuckled at her enthusiastic sister Karen. It’d been her first time out in God knows how long, and it felt great to let loose again. Breaking up was hard to do. She’d given the dumbass a week to pack up and leave, and the tension was too much to bear at times. It felt good to unwind and have some much-needed fun.

  “Hell yeah, or better yet, we’ll get him for you. Right, ladies?” Karen draped an arm around her shoulder and gave her a reassuring squeeze before letting go.

  “Damn straight,” Charlotte chorused, sounding tipsy. “Loosen up, Emma, we’re here tonight for you, darlin’, and that there is a nice piece of ass. Whoo-wee, call it a belated Happy Birthday. You only turn thirty-four once in a lifetime. You’re beautiful, newly single, and we’re here to celebrate, so live it up.”

  Emma chuckled as her sister and friend ganged up on her with good intentions. They’d gone out that night to celebrate double birthdays. Hers the week before, and Karen’s the following Saturday. Charlotte had been one of their closest friends and had been there for every milestone, so this hadn’t been any different. She was as easygoing as they came, had a big heart, and was always in the mood for a good time.

  “All right, all right, but first we need a few drinks,” Emma said. “I would say a round of shots is in order and a toast. To good friends, great booze, good times, and new beginnings. Emma Hewitt is going to live and love life again. To hell with the wrong kind of men. What I need is the good kind of bad.”

  “Now that’s my girl.” Charlotte cheered after speaking.

  “No, that’s my little sister,” Karen exclaimed. “I’m proud of you.”

  Emma already had a good buzz going on, but she excused herself to go to the bar for another round. Getting drinks had been a way to sneak past her sister and grab that guy she’d been admiring to do a lap dance. Not for herself, but for her sister. The look on Karen’s face would be priceless. She stifled a laugh just thinking about it. Yep, she definitely had to do it. It’d be a good way to give her sister a jump start too.

  Karen was one of the lucky ones. She’d married her high school sweetheart, produced four healthy children, and she seemed relatively happy with her life. But tonight, she’d get a little fantasy with Mr. Tall, Dark, and Muscular. Charlotte had called it right—he had one nice ass for sure but lacked a little in the package department. Oh well, they couldn’t all be perfect, and it wasn’t as though they’d be using that package anyway. She sighed, forcing her mind back from drifting momentarily, and slipped him a twenty on her way to the bar after pointing him in the right direction, toward her unsuspecting, beautiful, busty, blonde sister.

  From a distance Emma looked on. Karen was surprised at first, but as the table dance started, she slowly lightened up. Mr. Sexy was down to a G-string and in a teasing mood when he pretended to take it off only to pull it back up again. The front of him slid up her body, his lips just barely missing her skin. Karen shivered, probably from the feel of his warm breath against her. He thrust his hips, and his hands roamed down her body. He turned around to give her a good view of that muscular ass you could just take a bite out of, and then finally as the song came to an end, he flicked open the clips that held together his barely-there underwear, and they slipped free, leaving him bare for all to see.

  “You are priceless. Can’t you just see how red Karen’s face is from here?” Charlotte asked, as she walked over to where Emma was standing after having watched most of the lap dance at the table with Karen.

  “Oh yeah!” Emma laughed. “Why do you think I’ve been hiding out at the bar?”

  “You just wait. It’ll be priceless to see the expression on your face once you find out what she has in store for you too.”

  “Uh…”

  Their good friend smirked and nudged her forward. “It’s your turn, darlin’, so don’t think you’re getting away that easily. Karen planned something special almost the minute we walked through that door.”

  Emma had been able to suck back a shot before the song finished and Charlotte dragged her back to their table. She’d barely had time to sit when two strippers—Karen’s and another had pulled her away toward the stage.

  “Oh no.” She tried to protest and slip away until a muscular man dressed as a sexy police officer came forward.

  “Emma Hewitt, you have the right to remain silent…” he announced, and the whole bar cheered along with the show.

  Suddenly she was on the stage and handcuffed to a chair, trying hard to keep a straight face while Mr. Frisk Me did his thing and Mr. Sexy enticed the audience.

  “Woohoo, Emma, go get ’em, girl,” Karen yelled.

  Emma chuckled, cheers erupted, dollar bills were thrown and stuffed in places she didn’t even want to think about, and all-around good times were had. It was a night of well-deserved and innocent fun, a night out with the girls, and it felt good.

  ***

  Holly

  After the movie ended and her cousin left to go home, Holly went upstairs intending to get ready for bed. Her sister was out with friends that night, and her mother was enjoying a night out to celebrate her birthday. Clay was on the phone in the other room talking loudly, so she stopped on her way by to listen in unnoticed.

  “Tell me about it. Hey man, if you want her, you can have her.” Clay sighed. “Really, so yours is too, huh.” There was a pause and he continued. “Uh-huh. Maybe we should have switched. Fuck Emma, and I mean literally.” He chuckled at something the person on the other end of the line said. He was too deep into the phone conversation to even notice Holly was in the next room listening. “Dude seriously, we should just take Emma and Natalie, force ’em to come with us. Hell yeah, they need to be shown who’s boss. I’ve been here two fucking years and this is the thanks I get. The worst thing is I didn’t even do anything. The bitch needs to come down a notch. Maybe learn a good lesson while I’m at it.

  “Uh-huh.” He chuckled again. “We should make it a four-way. Emma likes it kinky, and she sure as hell wasn’t the hard-to-get type. Hell, I had her after three days. Not dates, man, but days. I barely even tried.” He paused. “What? Hell yeah, I don’t fucking care what she wants. She’s kicking me out anyway. You know we should really just get rid of them both and find us something younger and hotter to fuck.”

  “Exactly,” he said after another pause to listen. I’m telling you, though, the bitch better watch what she says. I’m sick of her nagging. She wants me out. I’ll get the fuck out when I’m good and ready. She’s just fucking lucky I can’t sta
nd the sight of her anymore…”

  Holly had heard enough. Feeling disgusted, she put the pen down and gripped the piece of paper she’d written on. What if her mother changed her mind and Clay stuck around? History might repeat itself. Clay was obviously disturbed and plotting something unspeakable, and maybe, just maybe what she’d overheard him saying and written down would show her mother she’d made the right decision when she asked him to leave.

  “Okay, Mom, let’s just see what you think of this.” Sighing, Holly, put the piece of paper in her pocket to hide it and snuck back downstairs to wait for her mother to get home.

  Chapter Two

  As soon as she heard the door she was up and sighed with relief that it was her mother, and not Clay.

  “What are you still doing awake?” her mother asked.

  “I’m waiting for you.”

  “Go to bed, Holly. Whatever it is, it can wait until the morning.”

  “No, I don’t think it can. I’m not sure how to tell you this, other than to let this speak for itself.” Holly took a deep breath. Clay had left the house about an hour ago to go God only knows where. It was late, and Holly was determined to get this discussion over with before he came back. She handed her mother the paper where she’d scribbled the inappropriate banter from her douche-bag soon-to-be ex-and watched the smile fade on Emma’s beautiful face while she read it.

  “What the hell is this? Why would you write these things?”

  “It’s not me, Mom, it’s him. He was on the phone earlier saying these things, so I wrote them down. I just wanted to show you that you were doing the right thing. Don’t let it be like all those times with Dad.”

  Holly watched her expression closely. Her mother was struck speechless, and her gaze went from shocked to heartbroken in an instant. The buzz and carefree fun of her outing tonight had now been replaced by heartache thanks to Holly. She gulped and then looked away. Smooth move, genius. Maybe you should have just kept your mouth shut and gone to bed.

  “Is Chrystal still over at Sonya’s for the night?”

  “Yes.”

  “All right then, I’ll handle this. It’s close to one in the morning. I need you to go to bed.” Emma raised the crumpled paper above her head and dropped it on the couch beside them.

  “But…”

  “No buts. Please. Bed, now.” She pointed toward the stairs firmly.

  “Will you be okay?” Holly hesitated and wanted to comfort her instead.

  Emma nodded and wiped her eyes.

  “I’m sorry, Mom. Please don’t cry.”

  “We’ll be fine, just the three of us, I promise.” She wrapped her arms around her daughter and gave her a big hug. “Now please, just go to bed and we’ll talk more in the morning, okay?”

  “Okay, I love you.”

  “I know, baby, I love you too.” And with a last shove toward the stairs, Holly reluctantly headed up to her room.

  ***

  It was dark, and she was trembling.It was cold in the tiny closet as she rocked back and forth, and she wanted nothing more than to shut everyone out. This couldn’t be happening. “There’s no fucking way.”

  Glimpses of the closed coffin haunted her, and the preacher’s words became a blur of memory, but who was in it? Everyone was faceless, except for her and Chrystal. They were both confused, scared, and crying.

  A blinding light covered her as someone opened the door. They were at Karen’s now, and Holly saw Chrystal reach out for her. Karen’s face became focused in the sea of blurriness. Her house was packed with people Holly couldn’t make out, yet she couldn’t figure out why; didn’t want to know for fear of the worst.

  “I want you girls to know that I love you, and we’d love to have you come live with us.”

  “What?” She felt as though she was having a panic attack and could see herself now as if she were having an out-of-body experience. She turned to her sister for support and held on to her tighter.

  “No!” Chrystal shook her head, and Karen leaned in to give them both a hug.

  “We’ve all been out of it for the last few days, and I miss her too, but that’s not going to make her come back. You’re mother’s gone, girls. She’d be here if she could, but she can’t.”

  “No!” Holly said. “She’d never leave us behind. Where is she?”

  “She’s gone, Holly, d-dead.” Karen shuddered as soon as the words left her mouth.

  Everything felt light and free, as though she was floating, and she could see herself clearly now. She screamed and collapsed with heartache. Why, why did this have to happen to them? What had they done so wrong?

  She woke up startled to the sound of her mother’s raised voice and sighed with relief that it was all a horrible dream.

  “Would you mind explaining this to me?” Her mother asked.

  Here we go again, she thought.

  Emma and Clay had been arguing on and off for months over various things, like his lack of employment or his spending habits. So it wasn’t much of a surprise when Emma announced that Clay was moving out.

  Holly lay back tossing and turning to try to get back to sleep. She’d been in bed less than an hour and was exhausted, but the yelling below escalated, and there was no way sleep was happening anytime soon.

  “What the hell is that?”

  “It’s a note from my fifteen-year-old daughter about a certain phone conversation she overheard. You disgust me!”

  “Oh spare me the fucking drama, Emma, and watch what you say.”

  “Is that a threat? Are you threatening me now? Do you feel like a big man doing that? Listen, I’ve put up with shit for too long with my ex, and now you. Just get out. Get out now.”

  “It’s a warning,” he screamed. “And I’ll leave when I’m good and ready, not before. I mean it, Em, don’t push me.”

  “Why is it that I always seem to attract the losers?” Emma muttered, probably mostly to herself. “I’m not that bad.”

  “What. Did. You. Say?” Clay seemed to pronounce everything through a clenched jaw, his voice rising with every word. “What did you just call me?”

  “Nothing I—.Wait. Where are you going?”

  Holly sat up abruptly, because this had started to sound like old times—old, terrifying times. It was as though they were still living with her father. With shaking hands she fought to get free of the blankets entangling her legs. She paused when her mother spoke again.

  “What are you doing?” She sounded shocked, and then the struggle began. Everything in the house was quiet, except for the sounds of things crashing to the floor or thrashing against the wall.

  The shaking became worse as she inched out of her bedroom slowly out of fear.

  “No please—please!” Her mother sobbed.

  Bang!

  “Don’t hurt her,” Holly cried and ran for the bedroom door. Her mom was hurt again and needed help. “You stupid asshole, I swear I’ll kill you if you hurt her.” She almost fell down the stairs in her haste to come to her mother’s aid.

  Clay rushed to meet her in the hallway once she’d reached the bottom of the stairs. He looked at her as though he was watching and waiting for one dumb move, standing quiet and saying nothing to her.

  But she wasn’t that stupid and halted before she could get too close to him. “Mom?”

  He slowly crept closer, giving her no choice but to retreat backward until she could go no farther. Backed into a corner now with nothing but the wall behind her, the only choices she had were to retreat back upstairs or try to get by him somehow.

  Something told her that the trip upstairs would be pointless. She had a gut feeling he wasn’t about to let her get that far. “Mom, where are you?”

  Clay watched her closely his face perspiring and his gaze wide. He had the power to do anything at this point, but he seemed as though he wanted her to make the first move.

  “Why isn’t she answering me? What did you do to her?”

  A muscle in his jaw ticked, and he flinche
d when she directed her questions to him instead of calling for her mom again. She obviously wasn’t going to get the answers she needed standing around, so she sprang into action.

  With all the strength and courage she could manage against a six-foot-two man, she charged at him. His eyes widened when she caught him off guard, and he lost his footing, landing him straight on his ass on the floor.

  “No!” he screamed and grabbed for her ankle to drag her back when she tried to scramble away. But she literally kicked him off and ran out of sight into the other room, where she hoped her mother was.

  She stood frozen for what seemed to be an eternity, but in reality was probably only mere seconds. Her mother lay lifeless in a pool of blood at Holly’s feet. She’d finally found her, only to wish she hadn’t.

  Clay caught up to her and grabbed her by the arm.

  “Why?” she sobbed, with all the fight gone from her. It had fled the second she saw her mother on the kitchen floor. “What did you do?”

  She pushed against him, hit him, and with a renewed sense of strength ran for the phone when he actually let her go. He ran away as soon as she dialed 9-1-1.

  He’d let her go?

  Not until years later did the family actually find out that he’d used a large fishing knife. He’d stabbed Emma several times, and in the process she’d fought back as much as she could. The knife ended up slicing through the fingers of her good hand. He’d nearly cut off her head when he made the decision to finish her off, not just slitting her throat once, but turning the knife and going back again to make sure it was done right.