400 First Kisses

by E. L. Todd

  “Aren’t you sick of me?”

  “Never. Now join me.”

  “How about we just be friendly neighbors who don’t spend time together?”

  “How about we try to be friends?” He poured the glass and held it up. “The sun is setting. Let’s watch it.”

  Against my better judgment, I walked up the stone steps and sat in the chair beside him. Dino ran up and lay on the stone at our feet, placing his chin on his paws. I grabbed the glass of wine and took a drink. “Pretty good.”

  “It’s new. I just added it to the wine list at the restaurant.”

  “It’s dry, not too dry. Flavorful.”

  “It goes well with a sirloin.”

  I watched sunset creep behind the houses and listened to the waves in the far distance. When the sun went down, the city became much quieter. All the visitors packed up for the day and returned to their homes in Seaside and Monterey. “You like living here so far?”

  “Absolutely.” He swirled his wine before he took a drink. “Nowhere else in the world I’d rather be.”

  “I love it too. My grandma loved it even more.”

  He nodded as he stared at the scenery. “How was work?”

  “Good. Amelia helped out today.”

  “Cool.” I was a sucker for wine, so I had to pace myself so I wouldn’t down the whole glass and pour another.

  “I want you to know that I really am sorry about what happened.”

  Why did he keep bringing it up? “Let’s just move on and forget about it.”

  “I don’t want to move on and forget about it. I want you to forgive me.”

  “Why is it so important to you?” I stared at Dino, who had already closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

  “Because I’m a sincere person who feels remorse for what he’s done. I’m apologizing to you because I mean it.”

  It would be cold for me to deny him what he asked for. Forgiveness was important. I wasn’t perfect either. I hadn’t done something as terrible as that, but I didn’t have a clean record. “I forgive you.”

  “Do you mean it?” He turned his head my way.

  “Yes.” If he was going to all this trouble, I was sure he meant it.

  “Thank you.” He grabbed the bottle of wine and topped me off again. “It means a lot to me.”

  “Sure…” I felt a little better now that I let it go. It was a long time ago, so there was no reason to keep it in the present. Forgive and forget. “I guess we can try being friends. Maybe friendly acquaintances.”

  “Yeah…maybe.”

  We sat in silence as we watched the sun disappear over the horizon. The light faded away until the darkness crept in. I had downed two glasses of wine, and I was ready for bed. I had to get up early in the morning and get to work. “Thanks for the wine…” I set the empty glass on the ground. “I’ll see you around.” When I stood up, he did the same.

  “I’ll walk you to your door.”

  I chuckled because I thought it was a joke. But when I realized he meant it, my laugh faded away. “You can see me from here. I’ll be fine.”

  He stood in front of me and didn’t push it. He glanced at the ground between us before he looked me in the eye. The intensity was similar to the way he’d looked at me this morning, when we were outside the house and then across the table from each other at the restaurant.

  It made my skin prickle.

  He suddenly moved forward and dug one hand into my hair. His lips maneuvered to mine, and he kissed me.

  I should have known this was a trap. I stepped back and pushed his arm down. “Cypress, no.”

  “Sweetheart…” He used to call me that all the time, especially when we were in bed together.

  “I’ve forgiven you, and I’ll be your friend. But that’s it. I never want to be with you again.”

  His eyes narrowed in pain.

  “And I definitely don’t want to be a fuck buddy, if that’s what you were going for.”

  “I wasn’t.”

  “Well…I’ve moved on, Cypress. I don’t see you that way anymore, and even if I did, I wouldn’t be with you. I deserve someone I can trust. And you’re the last person in the world that I trust.” I hated being so harsh, but I didn’t want him to think there was any chance we would ever be together again. We could be friendly since we lived so close to one another, but even that was a stretch for me.

  “I can earn your trust back if you give me a chance.”

  “I don’t have to give you a chance, and I don’t want to. Don’t kiss me ever again. Next time, I’ll slap you.” I wasn’t bluffing. If I had it my way, he wouldn’t even be living next door to me. I’d finally stopped thinking about him six months after we broke up. My heart had healed, for the most part. I didn’t want to rip it open again, especially when there wasn’t much left. Maybe I could forgive him, but I could never forget what he did to me.

  “I know you still love me.” He spoke with complete confidence. As if there was no possibility he could be wrong. It was a bold statement.

  “I don’t, and I don’t have any idea why you think I might.”

  “I just know,” he said simply. “You’ve never stopped loving me. And I’ve never stopped loving you.”

  He couldn’t be more wrong. “You never loved me to begin with—”

  “Yes, I did. And I love you more than anyone else on this planet. I will spend every day of the rest of my life trying to earn your trust, but you need to give me a chance first.”

  This still wasn’t making any sense. “Cypress, I don’t understand. Where is this coming from? Why have you sprung this on me a year later? I don’t get it. You can have any woman you want, so why are you trying to pursue me? You already had me and threw me away. Isn’t that a sign you’re supposed to be with someone else?”

  “No. I’m supposed to be with you.” His blue eyes narrowed on mine, unflinching. He pressured me with his look, backing me into an invisible corner. “There’s something I need to show you. It’s gonna come as a shock. It’s gonna be difficult to understand. But I want you to know we’ll get through it together.”

  Now I really was scared. “What are you talking about?”

  “Come on.” He walked to his front door and opened it.

  I stayed on the porch, unsure if I wanted to cross that threshold.

  “You need to see it. Follow me.” He walked inside his house and flipped on all the lights.

  I followed him, surveying his house. The hardwood floors were deep brown, and the walls were a light gray color. He had white couches in the living room with paintings of landscapes on the wall. The furniture didn’t suit him, so I assumed a designer had done it for him.

  “What is it?” I asked, my voice shaking.

  “Here.” He grabbed a picture frame off one of the tables and sat down.

  I sat beside him and looked down at the picture he was holding. It was a large eight-by-ten frame, and inside was a picture of him in a three-piece suit. His hair was styled elegantly, and he wore a charming smile.

  But there was someone else in the picture.

  A brunette in a wedding dress. She had green eyes just like me, the same brown hair…we looked identical. “I…I don’t understand.”

  He took my hand, and I didn’t pull away. “That’s you and me in the photo. We’ve been married for two years.”

  I would think I would remember something like that. “What…?”

  He set the picture on the table. “Eighteen months ago, you were in an accident. You were walking home from work in the dark, and a driver had a stroke and didn’t see you. They hit you at twenty-five miles an hour, and you fell to the ground and hit your head on the sidewalk. You blacked out, and when you regained consciousness, you reverted back to three years in the past. Every morning after that you did the exact same thing. Your last memory of me is when we broke up outside your place. You kicked me out and said you never wanted to see me again. So you don’t remember anything that’s happened ever since
.”

  His words sank into me, but I couldn’t absorb them. I couldn’t believe this fantastical tale. I married the man who broke my heart? I gave him another chance when he didn’t deserve it? “Then why do I remember you now?”

  “I think it’s because you hit your head again. It must have rewired something in your brain. That’s why I’m telling you this. There’s so much that’s changed, and I need you to understand what’s going on.”

  “That means…Rose and Lily are…”

  “Five and seven,” he answered. “Yeah. After you and I got married, we opened a few restaurants with Amelia, Blade, and Ace. We’ve been running them ever since.”

  Amelia, Blade, and Ace hated Cypress. How did they ever forgive him for what he did to me?

  “Amelia and Evan got a divorce,” he said quietly. “He left her for another woman…who was eighteen. They’ve been apart for over a year now.”

  That would explain the weight loss and absent wedding ring. “Amy…no.”

  He kept his hand on mine. “I bought the house next door so I could keep an eye on you, make sure you’re okay.”

  “So…I’ve been seeing you every single day?”

  He nodded. “Yeah.”

  “And what happens? Do I scream at you every time?”

  “Not every time,” he answered. “Sometimes you have good days, and you are calm.”

  I couldn’t believe I’d ever be calm seeing him next door to me. “I…I just don’t understand why I would have ever given you another chance. That doesn’t sound like me.”

  “I was pretty persistent.”

  “Why…?”

  He brushed his thumb along my knuckles. “In that year we were apart, I knew I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. No woman ever compared to you. I knew I’d lost the woman I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with. As time went on, it didn’t get any easier. So I chased you until you finally gave me another chance.”

  “I’m surprised I ever did…”

  “Like I said, I was persistent.” He continued to brush his thumb over my skin, lightly caressing me. “I know this is a lot to take in. I understand you’re probably confused and upset. But I’m here. We’ll get through this together. I’ll tell you everything you’ve missed. We’ll work on our marriage and get it back to where it was before. I know we can do it.”

  Work on our marriage? That was the last thing on my mind. “Cypress…I don’t know you. It’s been a year since I last spoke to you. I don’t feel that way about you…I’ve moved on. I can’t be married to you when I don’t even love you.”

  He cringed when he heard all of that. “You do love me. I know you do.”

  “If I did, I would say it. But I don’t.”

  “I’ll prove it to you. We’ll take it slow. Eventually, we’ll work it out.”

  I pulled my hand away. “I don’t want to work it out, Cypress.” I rose to my feet so I could have some space. “I’m sorry for being so harsh, but…I’m not in the same place. I don’t remember anything. And I don’t want to force this when I don’t want to be with you. It would be easier to get a divorce.”

  “We aren’t getting a divorce.”

  “Uh, yes, we are.”

  He rose to his feet and stared me down. “No.”

  “Yes—”

  “No. You’re my wife, and I’m your husband.” He ground his teeth together in between sentences, suppressing his rage. “I understand this whole thing is crazy. I can’t even begin to understand how you feel right now. It’s a lot to take in. But we are not giving up on us. I’ve never given up on you, even when you didn’t remember me. So you sure as hell aren’t giving up on me now that you’re well again.”

  When I saw the seriousness in his eyes, I knew he wasn’t going to soften his stance. He was determined to make this work, even if I couldn’t understand why. “I need to see Amelia…” She was my sister, the most important thing in the world to me. She’d lost her husband, and I needed to be there for her. It was far more important than having this conversation with Cypress.

  He abandoned the argument. “I’ll drive you.”

  “No, I can walk. And I want to go alone.”

  “Sweetheart—”

  “Please call me Bree. I want to be alone with her.” I walked to the door, where Dino followed me. He stood on his hind legs and placed his paws against my hip.

  I looked down at him, and something dawned on me. “That’s why he’s so friendly to me…”

  Cypress stood with his hands in his pockets and nodded. “We got him right after we got married. I have lots of pictures of the two of you when he was just a puppy. I’ll show them to you later.”

  I patted Dino on the head before I walked out. Something about knowing I had a dog sank right into my chest. I’d always wanted a dog, and I’d had one for years without realizing it. I turned on the flashlight on my phone so I could see in the dark and started walking.

  11

  Bree

  As soon as I knocked on the door, Amelia answered.

  She must have been expecting me because she wouldn’t have answered the door so quickly. That meant Cypress called her—which didn’t surprise me.

  She stared at me with wet eyes, the emotion heavy in her look. When she looked like that, she reminded me of Mom. She had the same facial structure, the same cheekbones. “Bree…” She pulled me into her arms and hugged me.

  “Amy.” I squeezed her back, feeling the tears flood down my cheeks. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I’m sorry too. I’m sorry you had to go through this.”

  We cried together in the hallway, holding each other as we mourned for everything we’d both lost. Amelia was the first one to pull away, and she dabbed at the corners of her eyes with her fingertips. “Can I get you anything?”

  “No.” There was nothing in the world I wanted right then. All I wanted was my sister.

  We took a seat at the kitchen table together, and I reached out my hand and grabbed hers. “I’m so sorry about Evan…”

  The tears were still in her eyes. “It was hard…still is hard.”

  “That fucking asshole. I can’t believe he did that to you. I swear to god—”

  “I know you’re angry. I was livid too. But he’s the father of my children, and I try to accept it. It’s easier that way…”

  I squeezed her hand. “I wish I had been there for you.”

  “I know you do. Cypress and the guys took care of me. Without them, I wouldn’t have made it through. They’re very sweet.”

  I was surprised Cypress was so involved with my sister’s well-being, but I didn’t make a comment on it.

  “I’m so glad you’re back. You call me every single day as soon as you see Cypress next door…and we have the same conversation over and over.”

  “Every day?” I whispered.

  She nodded. “Every day.”

  “And I say the same thing?”

  “Sometimes you’re really angry. Sometimes you’re just surprised. It changes on a daily basis.”

  “Wow…” I was surprised my opinion could change so much based on my mood. “Cypress told me everything…that we’re married.”

  She sniffed before she nodded. “He told me you didn’t take it very well.”

  “How else am I supposed to take it? When he cheated on me, I hated him. I wanted nothing to do with him. And then I married him? What the hell was I thinking?”

  Amelia released a quiet chuckle. “Well, Cypress is very handsome and charming. But you already knew that.”

  “He’s not charming enough.”

  “I know this is hard, but he really is a good guy.”

  “Amelia, you stormed into his apartment and punched him in the face. You hated him more than I did.”

  “I did,” she said with a nod. “He hurt my little sister. He deserved it. But in time, I forgave him. He proved to me that he changed and became a good man. It took him a long time, but he did it. Blake and Ace didn’t like him either
for a lengthy period. Now we’re all family.”

  I still couldn’t believe it. “I can’t believe I don’t remember any of this…”

  “Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s not your fault.”

  “How did Cypress get me back? What did he say?”

  She shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know the specifics. I just know he pursued you for a long time until you finally gave him a date. And then after that date, he asked for more…and then you started hooking up. You didn’t tell me or the guys about that part. And then one day, you guys were finally together. I think you dated for about six months before you became serious.”

  I shook my head in disbelief. “I’m still shocked. After what he did…I can’t see me doing that.”

  “He’s a smooth talker,” she said with a smile.

  “He told me we could work on our marriage and take it slow…but I don’t want to do that. I asked for a divorce, and he said no.”

  Her smile fell. “Why won’t you give it a chance?”

  “Because I don’t love him, Amelia. I’m over him. My last conversation with him was when I threw all his shit in the hallway and told him to never come near me again. Maybe Cypress put the moves on me and somehow convinced me to be with him. Maybe I was happy with him. Maybe I loved being married to him. But I don’t feel that way now. Why should I make a marriage work when I don’t even like the guy?”

  “You loved being married to him,” she whispered. “I’ve never known two people more in love.”

  “What?” I asked incredulously. “Seriously?”

  She nodded.

  “Me and Cypress?”

  She nodded again.

  “King of the manwhores?”

  “Yes, Bree. I’m telling you, he changed for you. He really got his act together and became the man you deserved. You can always ask Blade and Ace if you don’t believe me, but as your sister, I wouldn’t lie to you about this. I might lie and say you don’t look fat in a dress when you do, but I wouldn’t lie about this. You two were so happy it made me sick.” She smiled at me across the table.

  I stared at our joined hands and still couldn’t picture any of that being true. I loved that man once before, but the second I caught Vanessa on his lap, all those emotions faded away. How did I sleep with him without thinking about the fact that Vanessa had been there first? “I don’t know what to say…”