400 First Kisses

by E. L. Todd

  “Me neither,” Ace said. “We didn’t have eyes on him every second of the day, but I’m pretty sure he never hooked up with someone else. He wore his wedding ring anytime he was out, and when women made passes at him, he always said he was married.”

  I tried not to be touched by that, not when he’d already cheated on me once. I didn’t want to soften for him because I didn’t want to be one of those women who made the mistake of giving their cheating ex another chance. It was always a bad decision.

  “You aren’t giving him the time of day?” Blade asked.

  “No,” I answered. “He said we need to work on our relationship, but there is no relationship as far as I’m concerned. I want a divorce, but he says he’s not gonna let that happen.”

  “I remember you felt this exact same way when he first asked you out,” Ace said. “He asked you out ten different times, and you always said no. Hated him then like you do right now.”

  “I remember that too,” Blade said. “I guess I’m not surprised. It’ll take time for you to change your mind.”

  I cocked my head to the side in surprise. “You think I should change my mind?”

  “Uh…” Blade looked at Ace, silently asking for help.

  “Well…you guys were really happy,” Ace added. “I mean, like movie love.”

  “Movie love?” I asked, unsure what that meant.

  “Yeah, like soul mates and shit,” Ace said. “You guys acted like you were meant to be.”

  I was meant to be with a cheater? “Me and Cypress?”

  “Yeah,” Blade answered. “It was that way for so long, it’s hard for me to remember you guys weren’t together at one point. It’s kinda weird, actually.”

  My friends wouldn’t lie to me, so I believed every word they said. But I couldn’t wrap my mind around it.

  “Don’t be too hard on yourself,” Blade said. “It’s a lot to take in. Give it a few months. But I think you should cut Cypress some slack.”

  “Yeah,” Ace added. “You don’t have to go back to being married to him right away, but at least be nice to him. He really was the best husband in the world to you. He never gave up on you. I mean, the guy bought the house next door and took care of you every single day. That’s serious commitment right there.”

  The guilt seeped into my skin. When my friends put it that way, I felt harsh for being so cold to him. He wasn’t vindicated for what he’d done to me in the past, but he was a sweet person in the present. My entire family was defending him, and I valued their opinion more than anyone else’s.

  Blade stared at me as he waited for a response.

  Ace propped his chin on his hand as he looked at me.

  “Thanks for letting me know. I’ll try to treat him better.” That was all I could do right now. There was nothing they could say to make me move back in with Cypress and go back to being married. That would just be too weird.

  Ace gave me a thumbs-up.

  “Sounds good to me,” Blade said.

  As if Cypress had been listening at the door, he walked into the office. He wore dark jeans and an olive t-shirt, and his expansive chest looking strong in the fabric. There was no denying he had the perfect body. Along with that movie-star face, it was no surprise he was the biggest manwhore I ever met. He could get a woman on her hands and knees with a snap of a finger. No wonder why he managed to get me into bed several times over the last eighteen months.

  His eyes immediately moved to mine first, acknowledging my presence before looking at the guys. The look was possessive without any effort. He looked at me like he owned me, without claiming me with words. His black wedding ring was on his left hand, exactly where it was yesterday.

  I wondered where my ring was.

  “What’s up?” Cypress finally stopped staring and took a seat in one of the armchairs in the corner. The office was messy and disorganized, and natural light filtered through all the windows. Three of the walls were nothing but windows, and since we were elevated above the trees, we got a lot of light. Most of the furniture looked old, like it had already been there when we leased the place.

  “Nothing,” Blade answered. “Just doing some bookkeeping. You know, snooze fest.”

  “Actually, I’m the one doing the bookkeeping,” Ace said. “You’re doing jack shit.”

  Blade crumpled up a piece of paper and chucked it at his face.

  Ace easily maneuvered out of the way and got comfortable again. “Don’t play for the major leagues…or even the minor leagues.”

  “I’m sure if I hit you with my fist, I wouldn’t miss this time,” Blade threatened.

  “Shh,” I finally said. “We’ve still got the rest of the day. Pace yourselves.”

  Ace stuffed his laptop into his desk and shut the drawer. “I should get down to Olives. The lunch rush is about to hit.” He got out of his chair, dressed in slacks and a collared shirt. “One of my bartenders called in sick tonight. Do you think you can cover, Cypress?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be there,” Cypress answered.

  I couldn’t picture Cypress bartending, but with a beautiful face like that, he probably did a great job. The drinks could taste like shit, but it wouldn’t matter. He wouldn’t get a single complaint.

  “We could use another waitress tonight,” Ace added, looking at me.

  The Hippopotamus Café closed at five, so I didn’t usually have anything to do in the evenings. But since I owned four restaurants, I had to pull my weight. If Ace was working the lunch hour, Amelia was doing the morning rush, and Cypress was bartending, I’d look pretty lazy if I said no. “Sure. I need some practice anyway. It’s been a while.” Well, it really hadn’t been a while. But this was a new restaurant and a new atmosphere.

  “Cool,” Ace said. “I’m sure Cypress can give you the rundown while you’re there.”

  As much as I didn’t like the arrangement, I was gonna have to get used to it. We were business partners, after all.

  Cypress knocked on my door at five in the evening. “You ready for work?” He was in black jeans and a black t-shirt. With pretty blue eyes and a hard jaw, he could easily be a star in a movie. At least three women would undoubtedly make a pass at him tonight—even if he was wearing his ring.

  “Yeah. Is this okay?” I was in a tight black dress with flat sandals.

  “Yeah. You look great.”

  Cypress didn’t mention our relationship or anything else serious as we walked to work. He just talked about the restaurant and the way the orders ran. “The bar is pretty small, but there’s usually about a dozen people waiting for a table, so it can get crowded.”

  “What kind of liquor do we have?”

  “Everything under the sun. But we have an extensive wine category.”

  “Cool.”

  “Do you have any questions?” When we reached Ocean, we turned left. The restaurant had a wooden door and large windows that were fingerprint-free. Every table was full, and Mediterranean-inspired tablecloths were on each one, a mixture of gold, orange, and red.

  “No. But if I do, I’ll let you know.”

  We walked inside, and Cypress greeted the host, a cute woman with curly brown hair. She smiled wide when she saw him, a little overly enthused to see her boss.

  “I don’t think you’ve met Bree.” He said he placed his hand in the center of my back. “She’s also an owner. She’s been out of town for a while, so she’s getting back into the swing of things.”

  “Such a pleasure to meet you.” She shook my hand. “I’m Albany.”

  “You too.”

  Cypress stepped closer to me. “She’s also my wife.”

  The blood drained from my face, but I didn’t correct him. Technically, it was true. He must have told people that I existed, and most people probably knew exactly who I was. But it was still hard to swallow.

  “Oh…” She smiled again, but this time, it was clearly fake. “That’s wonderful.” Another couple walked inside, and she took their name down since there was a wait.r />
  I wanted to tell Cypress to stop telling people that we were together, but I really couldn’t stop him. If people already knew, it wasn’t like it was brand-new information.

  Cypress guided me to the back, his hand still on my lower back.

  I wanted to push it away, but I didn’t want to make a scene in public. Customers and employees were watching. Didn’t want them to think we were unhinged. Cypress explained the different stations and where the orders went. He handed me a pad and paper. “If you need anything, I’m right at the bar.”

  “Alright. Thanks.”

  He looked down at me like he was concerned. His handsome face had a harder expression than usual.

  “I’ll be fine.”

  He finally walked out of the kitchen and to the bar.

  I waited on the tables, and sometimes I lost my footing. I had a table of eight people, and that was a little overwhelming. It took me a few hours before I finally got back into my groove. Soon, I managed the tables like a pro, getting refills and memorizing orders without having to write them down.

  When I glanced over at the bar, Cypress looked like he was in his element. He wore a handsome smile as he talked to a group of three pretty women. He had a fifty sitting on the counter, a generous and unnecessary tip.

  I didn’t care, so I stopped watching him.

  By the end of the night, the restaurant was a mess, so we all worked together to take care of the tablecloths, tables, and chairs, and swept the floor that was covered with pieces of gyros and rice.

  Cypress took care of all the glasses and locked up the expensive booze. He counted his tip money at the counter when he was finished. There must have been hundreds of dollars.

  “What are you gonna buy Dino?” I took off my apron and set it on the counter.

  He chuckled. “I already spoil that dog. I’m not buying him shit. How’d you do?”

  “I got a lot more tips than I usually do at the café, that’s for sure.” That was because I didn’t get any tips at all.

  “Then what are you gonna buy Dino?”

  “I don’t know. Does he need any toys?”

  He laughed. “You should come over and see his toy box. It’s ridiculous.”

  Even though I didn’t remember Dino, I was already affectionate toward him. He was a sweet dog, and my heart melted every time I looked at him. I felt a connection to him because he still remembered me and loved me even though I didn’t remember him. It comforted me somehow.

  “How did you feel tonight?”

  “Pretty good. A little stressful, though.”

  “You’ll get the hang of it.”

  “Well, I hope I don’t have to waitress too often. I prefer the café.”

  “You’ll hop around. Amelia really likes Amelia’s Place. Much different atmosphere.”

  “Yeah, I noticed when I walked by this morning.”

  He placed the money in his wallet and returned it to his pocket. “Ready to go?”

  “Sure.”

  We left the restaurant and locked up before we walked back to the house. We lit up the flashlights on our phones so we could see where we were going in the darkness.

  “Those girls seemed to like you.” I didn’t know what possessed me to make the comment. It just came out.

  “What girls?”

  “The ones who left you a fifty-dollar tip.”

  He grinned. “For not liking me very much, you sure seem to be jealous.”

  “Not jealous. I was gonna tell you that if we just get divorced, you’ll be free to do whatever you wanted.”

  His smile fell instantly. “I don’t want anyone else, Bree. It’s not an act. It’s the truth.”

  I kept my eyes on the road, watching my step so I didn’t get my foot stuck in a crack.

  “Besides, they had nothing on you, sweetheart.”

  He really was different. “Where was this when we were together the first time?”

  The best response he had was a shrug. “I was an idiot back then. I was in college… I was stupid.”

  “It’s not like you were a child. You were a grown man in every capacity.”

  “I’m not making excuses,” he said calmly. “I’m just telling you I was different back then. I didn’t treat you the way you deserved. I made a really bad decision that I’ve always regretted. After losing you, it made me realize I needed to get my shit together because I had the most incredible woman in the world, and I lost her. That was the moment I changed, the moment I became the man you deserved.”

  “What happened that night, anyway?” I hadn’t asked because there’d never been an opportunity. I was too busy screaming and throwing shit at him to have a real conversation.

  “With Vanessa?”

  “Yeah.”

  After a long pause, he answered. “Does it matter?”

  “Yes.”

  He sighed under his breath. “She came over and dropped off some beer for my birthday. I thought the gesture was innocent. Didn’t see any harm from taking it. Then she came inside and got on her knees… I don’t need to give you any more specifics. I got lost in the moment and didn’t think at all.”

  “So, were you still in love with her?”

  “Not at all.”

  “Was I not satisfying you?”

  “Of course you were. But I was a stupid asshole who was thinking with his dick. If you expect me to provide some profound reason for my behavior, you won’t get it. I was a fucking dick. That’s it. I don’t blame you for leaving me. I would have judged you if you’d stayed.”

  At least he was honest. “Did you ever get back together with her?”

  “No. We didn’t hook up again after that night.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t know. Whenever I thought about her, I thought about how much I hurt you. Killed any arousal I had.”

  “Then you came back to me a year later?”

  “Yeah.” He turned right, and we walked downhill. “I dated a few women, had a few one-night stands, but I was never happy. I kept thinking about you, remembering how funny you were and all the good times we had. At some point, I knew I’d made the worst mistake of my life. I wanted another chance. I wanted to be what you deserved. That’s when I changed. That’s when I became someone you deserved. So I worked my ass off to prove myself to you. Finally, one day, you went on a date with me. The rest is history.”

  “I wish I remembered it.”

  “That makes two of us.”

  We turned on Casanova and approached our houses.

  “I’m willing to do it all over again,” he whispered. “Because what we had was pretty incredible. It’s hard to believe, but it’s true.”

  My anger toward him softened because I heard the sincerity in his voice. I didn’t want to be cold to him anymore. He had been patient with me for a long time and didn’t deserve such harshness. “My family has nothing but good things to say about you.” I stopped in front of his house, standing in the darkness under the cypress tree.

  “It took me a long time to earn their trust back. It didn’t happen overnight.”

  “I know…they consider you family now.”

  He nodded, and hope emerged in his eyes. “Does that mean you’ll work on this with me? We can take it slow. We can date each other, get to know one another all over again, and then maybe…we can move in together.”

  “Cypress…I don’t know.”

  He bowed his head and sighed in disappointment.

  “My feelings haven’t changed. I know that’s frustrating, but you must understand.”

  “No, I do,” he said quietly. “I really do.”

  “We’re business partners, and you’re obviously a part of my life now, so I want to make something work. I’d definitely like to be friends. Maybe we can be really close friends. But that’s all I can give you. When I look at you, I don’t see a devoted and committed husband. I see the guy who broke my heart.”

  He didn’t lift his head again. “I get it, sweetheart. But if you
give it some time, you’ll feel differently. I promise. Just give me a chance. That’s all I’m asking.”

  “I still want a divorce…”

  He lifted his head, sadness in his eyes.

  “I want to be free. If I meet someone else, I don’t want to be tied down to you.”

  “You aren’t gonna meet someone else.”

  “You don’t know that—”

  “I’m not gonna let that happen,” he said with a clenched jaw. “I’ve been through hell living next door to the woman I love without being able to tell her who the fuck I am. I’m not letting you go, sweetheart. I’m sorry to be so aggressive, but you’re forcing my hand.”

  “You can’t control me.”

  “I’m not trying to. I’ve offered to be patient with you. I’ve offered to completely start over with you. Anything you want, I’ll give it to you. But I want a fair chance.”

  “Even if I gave you a chance, I still want a divorce.”

  “Why?” he demanded.

  “Because if we ever do get back together, I want to experience all of that again. I want to be proposed to. I want a wedding. I don’t want to see my memories in pictures…I want to live it myself.”

  He moved closer to me and placed his hands on my hips. “I guess I can understand that. But I still want you to give me a chance.”

  “I…I don’t know. Can we try being friends first?”

  “So that means you’ll have an open mind about it?”

  I still couldn’t get over the fact that he’d cheated on me. I wasn’t sure why I gave him another chance to begin with. “I guess…”

  “That’s all I ask.” He dug his fingers into my sides, gripping me tighter than he did before. He moved in closer, just as he had the other day when he’d kissed me.

  I held my breath, fearing that was next on the agenda.

  “I was hoping you could do something for me.”

  “What is it?”

  He looked at my lips for a long time before he looked me in the eye. “The thing I miss most about us being together…is just being together. Whenever I get you in bed, I have to leave before you wake up the next morning. Whenever we see each other, you’re usually telling me how much you hate me. I just…want to hold you. Is it okay if I hold you?”