Fairy, Neat (Fairy Files Book 6)

by Katharine Sadler

  She stood and approached us, making eye contact as she neared. I met her eyes, confident the amulet would protect me from enthrallment. “You, Clarinda Frangipani, will serve me. You will do my bidding. You will belong to me.”

  “Yes,” I said, letting my eyes lose focus like I was enthralled. “I will belong to you.”

  She screeched in displeasure. “I am blocked from entering your mind. Dragon, what is this that blocks me?”

  Benny went a bit limp against my back. “It is the amulet around her neck, Empress.”

  No, no, no. That amulet was the one line of defense against Ludwiggia we were certain hadn’t been compromised. Without the amulet, I was at her complete and total mercy.

  Ludwiggia smiled. “Remove it for me, dragon. And yours as well.”

  Benny sliced through the cord hanging around my neck and the amulet hit the floor and shattered. His own necklace shattered next to mine a moment later. Shit. Damn. Fuck. We’d lost. So many had died and sacrificed, and we’d lost before we’d even gotten in the door.

  I stared at the broken amulet on the stone floor, determined not to meet Ludwiggia’s eyes, determined to make her come closer to me, close enough for me to—

  “Look at me, princess,” Ludwiggia purred, her words like a soothing caress. I had to obey, I couldn’t resist. I raised my head and looked into her eyes. She was so beautiful. All I wanted to do, all I wanted to be, was whatever she asked.

  I knew it was her thrall, I knew what I was feeling was dangerous and wrong, but I couldn’t look away, I couldn’t remove my gaze from hers. Benny’s hands fell from my neck and his body went rigid. He was either an excellent actor or he’d fallen under her thrall as well, his innate defense appeared to have failed him against Ludwiggia’s greater power. We’d lost.

  “That’s right, my children,” Ludwiggia said, stepping closer. “Look into my eyes. You will be my favorite new playthings.”

  Inside, I was screaming and fighting, but I couldn’t break her hold on me, I couldn’t get free. She didn’t just have us, she owned us. “Remove their packs and search them,” she said to someone behind us.

  I felt my pack being pulled from my body, but I could do nothing to stop it. I couldn’t even turn to see what was being done to our things.

  “Yes,” Ludwiggia said. “The vials are to be disposed of in the palace furnace.” My heart sank. The vials, our one good weapon, were useless. And my friends, my allies, had likely died protecting a secret that was no secret.

  “I have a meeting, children, but Phylum will show you to your rooms. Sleep until I can visit you.”

  Without conscious thought, my mouth moved to make the words, “Yes, empress.” I heard Benny behind me, speaking the same words.

  We turned and followed a pixy man down the hall to the tune of Ludwiggia’s laughter.

  Phylum showed me to my room first. I’d stayed there the last time I’d visited the castle, when my mother was still alive. Phylum opened the door, and I walked in, my feet moving of their own volition. I lay down on the bed, closed my eyes, and slept.

  ***

  Someone caressed my face. She pushed my hair back and ran her long fingers through it. She sang a familiar song, a song my mother had sung to me when I was a child. I knew it wasn’t my mother’s hand on my face or her voice in my ear, it was Ludwiggia. I tried to open my eyes, but I couldn’t, tried to move away from her, but I was frozen, paralyzed in place.

  “I can hear your heartbeat race, child,” Ludwiggia cooed. “Your lack of control over your own body frightens you, but I promise you will learn to love it. It is quite freeing to give up all control, all need to make the difficult decisions, like who to save and who to let die.”

  Hieronymus’ death flashed in my memory and bile rose. If nothing else, maybe I could vomit all over her.

  “Calm, child,” she said. My stomach settled, my heart slowed. “It is quite amazing how many have shown loyalty to you, have died for you, have sacrificed for you.”

  Not for me, for Rubalia, I wanted to scream at her, but I couldn’t move my lips.

  “Oh, yes, you believe they were dying for Rubalia, but they wouldn’t have followed anyone else into battle. They believed in you, they were loyal to you, because they recognized your loyalty to the cause, your true passion for the well-being of Rubalia.”

  Shit, she could read my thoughts? I tried to put up walls, to block her out, but I could do nothing. I was entirely helpless.

  “Emotions make us weak, Clarinda.” She sighed like I was a recalcitrant child. “Open your eyes, child. There is work to do.”

  My eyes popped open and I sat up. I should have been refreshed after my sleep, but I was exhausted, and every movement took more breath and energy than I had. Even just swinging my legs over the edge of the bed left me gasping for air.

  Ludwiggia frowned. “Fairies are so delicate. My energy flowing through your veins exhausts you when it should invigorate you.” She waved a hand. “You’ll adjust…If you live that long.”

  My heart sank and, if I’d had any control over my bodily functions, I might have cried. I knew I had those black tentacles wrapped around my internal organs, knew that with just a flick of her wrist she could end my life.

  Despair and sorrow threatened to overwhelm me, but my body never faltered. I went through the motions of dressing, in a black dress very similar to Ludwiggia’s, and brushing my hair without conscious thought. My brain could dwell on the fact that I’d never see Frost again, never rest in his warm arms, never see Sapphire and Knuffington’s new baby, never work at Ephemeral with Pierson again. My whole life, everything I’d worked for, no longer meant anything. I was a puppet, and I’d very soon be dead.

  Even though I’d known my death was a possible outcome of our foray against Ludwiggia, nothing could have prepared me or better helped me accept the reality. I pushed aside despair and sorrow and let rage take its place. I might be on the verge of death, but I didn’t have to make it easy for Ludwiggia. I wasn’t sure how, but I was going to fight.

  Ludwiggia led me, like a dog on an invisible leash, down long hallways and out onto a familiar balcony. Below us were hundreds and hundreds of fae, with nightmare guards all around. Ludwiggia shoved me forward until I was standing at the balcony rail and visible to all below. The fae let up a cheer, but it seemed forced, like maybe they cheered only to avoid punishment.

  Autonomy, I mentally whispered to myself. She could take everything from me, but I would do everything I could not to yield my autonomy.

  “Speak the words I give you, child,” Ludwiggia said. She wanted me to reassure the people, which meant the people of Rubalia hadn’t been as pliant as she’d hoped or she didn’t have enough nightmares to keep them all in line.

  “People of Rubalia,” I shouted, after she’d fed me the line. “I am Clarinda Jessamine Roseblossom Regalia Frangipani, princess of the fairy kingdom and heir to the throne.”

  “I declare Empress Ludwiggia Butterton as my own sovereign and vow obeisance to her,” Ludwiggia said.

  I tried to keep the words from flowing, tried to keep my mouth shut tight, but I couldn’t hold back, couldn’t stop my lips from moving. I did manage a small change however. “I don’t declare Ludwiggia Butterton as my—”

  My words were cut off, as my air was cut off, my lungs suddenly tight, my heart racing. This was it, the moment of my death. With my last breath, with my last ounce of energy, I shouted, “Fight!”

  I didn’t think I’d have enough air to make the word carry, but someone must have heard me, because I heard it repeated and then chanted by the entire crowd. Then I heard shouts and clanging metal and screams. Before I could regret my words or see what was happening in the crowd, the last of my air was stolen and I hit the ground with a hard thud. Darkness consumed me.

  ***

  I woke to a searing pain in my gut, probably caused by the fist of the troll standing in front of me. I was so relieved to be alive, I almost didn’t care about the punch to t
he stomach. Or, I didn’t until the troll punched me again, in the same fucking spot. Damn that hurt, and knocked the breath from my lungs.

  “You are strong like your mother,” Ludwiggia said, stepping in front of the troll. “But you will break just as easily as she did.”

  I wanted to hit her, to spit at her, or just scream at her, but I was chained, wrists and ankles, to the wall in what appeared to be a dungeon torture chamber and Ludwiggia still seemed to have more control over my body than I did.

  She stepped aside and gestured to the troll. He punched me again, in the side this time, hard enough to make me vomit up whatever was left in my stomach. My head began to throb in a pulsing rhythm to the ache in my torso. I spit, but couldn’t rid my mouth of the sour taste.

  “You’ve made quite a mess for me, Clarinda, and I’ve had to kill many people I’d hoped to make useful to my kingdom.” She sighed. “I don’t wish to hurt anyone, child, but they must stop rebelling, they must stop trying to fight back. If you tell them to be calm, to accept my reign, to accept that I know best, no more of them must die.”

  I found myself free to speak. “Maybe they would rather die than be enslaved to you, to watch as their children become meals on your table. Maybe fighting is exactly what they should do.”

  Ludwiggia stepped aside and the troll punched me in the thigh. You’d think a punch to the thigh would hurt less than a punch to the gut, but he must have hit a nerve or something because my whole leg rang with an agony that made me clench my teeth against a scream. Now that I could scream, I found I didn’t want to give Ludwiggia the satisfaction.

  “When your mother was still alive, they were more docile. Because of you, I had to kill her. Now that you’re here, you can make it up to me.”

  The pain made it hard to think, but I understood she wanted me to be her puppet, to keep the people calm while she took from them everything they loved. I opened my mouth to speak, but found I couldn’t. She was back in control.

  “You have three days to reconsider your rash actions and to choose to speak to the people of Rubalia as a princess should. During those three days, I will be testing Benny’s loyalty. The more compliant you are, the gentler I will be with him. The more difficult, the more he will suffer. I will know where your loyalties lie at the end of the three days and you will both be docile and compliant or you will die.”

  She left and the troll punched me in the face so hard my head bounced off the stone wall. Pain seared my skull and robbed me of breath before welcome darkness rushed in and erased my pain along with my sentience.

  ***

  Sometime later, warm arms wrapped around me and a scruffy chin nuzzled my neck. “It’s time to wake up, sweetheart,” Frost said in his gruff morning voice.

  I opened my eyes and rolled into him. He looked down at me, his amber gaze warm. “I missed you,” I said.

  His brow wrinkled in concern. “Missed me? You’ve been in my arms all night. Do you miss me when you sleep?”

  Something wasn’t right. I looked into his face and he smiled, his eyes lighting. He was so warm and naked and he pulled me tighter against him and kissed my neck. “I love you, Chloe.”

  “I love you, too. I…” Something was wrong. Frost couldn’t be here, he was—

  Frost slapped my ass and grinned. “Are you going to lay in bed all day? Or are you going to meet your best friend’s new baby?”

  I rubbed my eyes. This was wrong. I wasn’t in my own bed, I was in a dungeon. I was…Ludwiggia…Archibald’s story came back to me and I realized Frost wasn’t real, none of this was real. I shoved Frost hard and he slipped off the bed and rose to his feet, his naked body every bit as firm and beautiful as I remembered it. “You aren’t real,” I said. “This isn’t real.”

  He frowned and anger rose in his eyes. “What the hell are you talking about? Sapphire needs you. Don’t tell me you’re letting your fear of intimacy ruin her day.”

  I stared at him. He looked like Frost, but he sounded more like Ludwiggia. “You aren’t real. I don’t want you here.”

  He growled and shook his head. “I should have known better than to let myself fall for you, Chloe. You are cold and empty. You’ll never be able to love me or your friends the way we love you.”

  I knew Frost wasn’t real, and I knew Ludwiggia was using my worst fears against me, but his words still hurt. They ripped through me with a vicious accuracy and made tears rise in my eyes. “I love Frost with everything I am. You aren’t him.”

  Frost’s face morphed into Ludwiggia’s and she bent over me. “I could be your Frost,” she said. “You could live in your mind with him, loving him and talking to him, for the rest of your life, or you could defy me and live in the harsh reality where the Frost you love is dead and buried. Fallen under the claws and teeth of my people.”

  Ludwiggia vanished and I was back in the dungeon, my heart pounding with fear. She was lying. She had to be lying. And yet, it could be true. Frost could be dead. She’d have seen his death through the eyes of her nightmares.

  I pushed the thought away. I might never know if Frost had lived or died and I certainly wouldn’t figure it out while I was stuck in this dungeon cell. It didn’t matter. I wasn’t here for me. I was here to save the people of Rubalia. I’d suffer every torture, every deprivation in order to save them. I was the only one who could destroy Ludwiggia without sending her nightmares into a killing frenzy and that’s what I’d do, no matter what it cost me.

  Something scraped against stone and I looked up to see a tray with bread and some orange and white goop. I didn’t want to eat, had no appetite, but I knew I must if I had any hope of defeating Ludwiggia.

  The food tasted as bad as it looked and it smelled worse. The bread was dry and flavorless and the orange-white concoction smelled of ashes and tasted burnt. I choked it all down and drank the water. Then, I crawled back to my corner and I waited. I doubted Ludwiggia would leave me alone for long.

  ***

  The door to my cell swung open and Benny walked in. His face was swollen and covered in small cuts and bruises. A guard followed him in and closed the door. Benny dropped to his knees by my side and grabbed my hands in his.

  “Chloe,” he said. “You have to give in. Agree to do what Ludwiggia asks of you.”

  I stared at him, trying to determine if he was real or another delusion created by Ludwiggia. I had no way to be sure. I had no blade to break my skin, no question to ask that Ludwiggia wouldn’t already know the answer to. “I will never give in,” I said.

  Benny’s eyes widened and tears filled them. “Please, Chloe. I can’t handle any more. You have the power to make it all stop.”

  “You aren’t real,” I said. I wasn’t one hundred percent certain, but I couldn’t imagine Benny giving in so easily. He might be prone to drama, but he wasn’t a quitter. “Go away.”

  “I’m real, Chloe. You have to believe me. Ludwiggia’s guards beat me and torture me and then her healers make me well enough so that they can do it all over again. They get inside my head and make me believe…It’s horrible. I can’t take any more.”

  “You aren’t real.” I couldn’t look at him as I spoke the words, his anguished expression and the tears in his eyes looked so real that I couldn’t help feeling for him.

  “Chloe, don’t turn away from me. Look at me. Look at what she’s done to me.”

  I did look then. I met his gaze and I didn’t flinch. “You. Aren’t. Real.”

  Benny vanished. In his place came monsters of every shape and size to taunt and torment me. Even though I knew they weren’t real, I cringed back and my heart pounded with fear. I scrunched my eyes shut against the image of a vampire draining Vin and breaking her neck, but the images continued against my closed lids. I opened my eyes and saw Hieronymus, alive again but mortally wounded and begging me to help him, begging me to save his life. I watched as one by one the people I loved were tortured and killed, until I’d screamed my throat raw and my eyes were sore from the salty tears
flowing from them.

  Eventually, darkness engulfed me and I thought I might finally be allowed the peace of sleep. A moment later, I was standing on a mountain-top, the rocky ground far, far below. I was so near the edge that my toes hung over and sheer panic raced through me. I tried to step back, but something slammed into me and I fell. I dropped through the air, the sharp rocks below getting ever closer, and I knew I was going to die.

  I did die. I slammed into the rocks and screamed as agony ripped through my body. I lay there, impaled on the rocks, and I felt every drop of blood as it left me, every bit of the pain of my body being broken and shredded. I lay there, immobile, and felt life leave me. Eventually, darkness took me and I felt a moment’s relief. Only a moment, though, before I opened my eyes and found myself back on that mountain ledge. Again, I was pushed and again I fell and again I died in brutal agony.

  Over and over, I fell and died and each time I felt the fear and the pain more intensely than the time before. No matter how many times I told myself I wasn’t really falling, wasn’t really dying, I could feel my physical body and my mind weakening. If Ludwiggia had come to me while I lay on those rocks for the twentieth time, I would have agreed to anything she asked just to make the pain stop. But she didn’t come to me, didn’t ask me for anything. She just continued to torture me over and over again.

  Eventually, the torment ended and I found myself in my cell, the morning light streaming in through a small window near the ceiling. My entire body ached and my head felt like someone was stabbing me in the temples with chopsticks. I lay back and closed my eyes and slept.

  The sun was bright and warm when I woke to someone shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes and saw a troll leaning over me, a worried look on his face. “Wake, Princess,” he said. “You were having a nightmare.”

  I sat up and studied the troll. He was enormous and dressed as one of Ludwiggia’s guards, but he had kind eyes. I scooted away from him, because kind eyes didn’t mean he wouldn’t hurt me. And because I wasn’t sure he was real. I had found no way to differentiate between the visions and reality.