Holdin' On for a Hero

by Ciana Stone

  “Been a while, huh? Come on, there’s Ben.”

  With a firm grip on Max’s hand, she led the way toward a table where a tall man with sandy brown hair was waving at them.

  “Hey, you made it!” Ben leaned over and gave Nikki a kiss on the cheek. “And this must be Max. Glad to meet you, Max. I’m Ben. Ben Marshall.”

  Max smiled and extended his hand. Ben didn’t hesitate to take it.

  Nikki introduced the rest of the people at the table. “Max, this is Bill. Soon to be legal-eagle extraordinaire. Cat and Jimmi and this big guy is Tony, ex-jock turned musician. Tony and Jimmi are in the band.”

  Max nodded to everyone.

  “So, what’s your thing, Max?” Tony asked.

  Panic flared and Max looked to Nikki. She gave him a smile and turned to Tony.

  “Max doesn’t talk.”

  “That’s cool,” Tony smiled.

  Max relaxed a little. The talk turned to everyone catching up. He listened and watched the way everyone seemed so interested in one another and so at ease. Nikki made sure that he was included in the conversation, interpreting his gestures for them. They all seemed quite unconcerned with the situation, as if it were perfectly normal.

  “Well, it’s time.” Tony stood and looked around. “Where’s Tom?”

  Jimmi got to his feet and pointed toward the stage. “Where else?”

  Max looked and saw a man in a wheelchair, seated in front of a keyboard. Tony and Jimmi made their way toward the stage.

  “Hey!” Another man wearing dark glasses, being led by a thin woman with a shaved head, stopped beside the table. “Am I late?” the man asked.

  Everyone laughed. “Just under the wire, as usual,” Ben replied.

  The man shrugged and felt for the woman’s hand. “Lead on, darlin’.”

  Nikki leaned over to Max as the couple moved away. “That’s Phil. He’s blind but one hell of a bassist.”

  Max was surprised. He’d never imagined that Nikki had so many handicapped friends. Yet she didn’t seem to pay any special attention to their disabilities. His opinion of her and her friends grew.

  The band started and everyone at their table cheered, clapped, and pounded on the table. Max didn’t feel comfortable doing anything but clapping.

  During the first set, everyone at their table just listened and drank. Max had two beers and his head was starting to spin. When the waiter came around again, he declined another drink, but Nikki grinned at him and told him to live it up, so he ordered another.

  The band took a break and talk started up again. Ben wanted to know how Max could figure out the equations he’d given Nikki so fast. With Nikki’s help Max explained that he just did it in his head. Ben got very animated and started talking about algorithms and programming. Everyone groaned but Max, who thought it was interesting. Before long they were scribbling on all the napkins. Ben would ask his opinion and several times commented how cool it was to meet someone who spoke his language. Max had to admit it felt pretty good to him too. He caught Nikki smiling at him several times, and once she even reached over to give his hand a squeeze.

  Music suddenly blasted from the speakers and Nikki stood. “Okay Ben, you’ve had your turn. Now it’s mine. Come on, Max. Let’s dance.”

  Max wasn’t sure about getting up and dancing in public. He looked up at Nikki with uncertainty. She smiled, took his hand and pulled him to his feet. “Come on!”

  Nikki whirled around as soon as they were on the floor and extended her hand to him. He took it, trying to will his feet to move but they were rooted to the floor. Nikki pulled on him, drawing him closer. “It’s no different than dancing at home. Look around, no one’s even paying attention. Just relax and go with it. Here everyone just does their own thing.”

  He tried to relax and after a couple of selections found himself not quite so tense. The music slowed and Nikki looped her arms around his neck, swaying in time to the beat. The feel of her body pressed against his made Max’s palms sweat. Hesitantly he put his hands on either side of her waist, very lightly.

  She smiled up at him and hugged him closer, resting the side of her face against his chest. As if of their own accord, Max’s arms wrapped more securely around her. God, she felt good.

  Nikki felt relaxed for the first time since she had taken the job at the estate. Max seemed to be fitting right in with her friends, particularly Ben. It had made her feel very good to see Max communicating with someone about something he was interested in. That, combined with a couple of drinks, made her forget her reservations somewhat and relax the restrictions she had placed on herself in her behavior with Max. For someone who hadn’t been out in public in a decade, he seemed to be just fine. Maybe he was more mature on several counts than she’d realized.

  And it did feel good to have his arms around her with no worries of what someone would think or concerns about being seen.

  The music ended and he released her. She smiled up at him then they reclaimed their seats at the table. The rest of the evening passed quickly, everyone talking, laughing, and enjoying the music and one another’s company. They were the last to leave.

  Ben suggested they all head to Wanda’s for breakfast. Nikki didn’t see any reason for the evening to end. She asked Max and even though he’d never had breakfast at a diner, he agreed.

  There were few customers at that time of morning. Wanda came out to give Nikki a hug.

  “Where’ve you been? I was starting to think you were mad at us.”

  “You know better than that.”

  Wanda looked at Max seated beside Nikki. “Hmmm, and does this good-looking man have anything to do with your absence?”

  Nikki laughed. “Well, I guess you caught me. Wanda this is Max. Max—Wanda.”

  Wanda smiled widely at Max. “Welcome to my place, Max.”

  Max nodded and smiled. Wanda didn’t seem to notice his lack of speech.

  Everyone ate and talked some more then Cat got up to play some tunes on the jukebox. She motioned toward the rest of the party. “Come on, guys.”

  Everyone groaned, made noises, but got up. Nikki glanced at Max. He shrugged and let her pull him up. Before long they were all dancing and laughing.

  A man entered the diner, staggering slightly. He ran into Nikki, almost knocking her down. Just as she gained her footing he grabbed her again, from behind.

  “Hey, baby, shake that thing on me.”

  “Not even in your dreams.” She tried to pull away but he held on.

  “Hey, ease up, buddy!” Ben started toward the man.

  “Fuck you.” The man snarled and moved his hand around to Nikki’s breast.

  She bucked back, ramming her head into his nose. He cursed as he let go of her and grabbed his nose with one hand.

  “You fucking bitch!” He made a move for her as he lowered his hand and saw the blood.

  Before anyone else could react, Max jumped in front of the man. His face was twisted in a visage of rage, his eyes flashing and his mouth moving with unspoken words.

  The man struck out, hitting Max in the stomach. Max barely flinched. Nikki reached out for him but before she could get to him, his clenched fist met the underneath of the man’s chin. The blow lifted the man up and sent him stumbling backward, flailing.

  Wanda ran out of the kitchen. “Hey! What’s going on here?”

  The man, who had fallen back against one of the booths, staggered to his feet. “That bitch and her asshole friend attacked me, that’s what.”

  Wanda looked at Nikki.

  “No way. Swear to god.”

  Everyone jumped in, making it impossible for Wanda to understand anything with everyone talking at once. Nikki noticed Max still staring with malice at the drunk man who was shouting about calling the police.

  Her alarm bells went off. She couldn’t let the police get Max’s name. She shouted for everyone to shut up.

  “Wanda, I swear it wasn’t our fault. That guy came in, grabbed me and wouldn’t let go. H
e was feeling me up, and when Max tried to stop him he hit Max.”

  Wanda looked at Ben. “Is that how it happened?”

  “Yeah, exactly.”

  Wanda threw her hands on her ample hips and turned on the drunk. “Get out of my diner.”

  “Fuck you, I ain’t going nowhere. It’s a free country. You can’t tell me where I can and can’t go.”

  “Like hell I can’t.” Wanda advanced on him. “This is my place and I won’t have troublemakers. Now either you get yourself out of here, or I’ll call the police and have you hauled out.”

  The man thrust out his chin then looked around at everyone staring at him and turned. “Fuck all you assholes.”

  Everyone cheered when he left. Ben grabbed Wanda’s arm and lifted it up like a prizefighter. “Winner and still champ-een.”

  Wanda rolled her eyes but smiled as she pulled away from Ben. “I declare, you kids are gonna be the death of me one day.”

  Ben laid a resounding kiss on her cheek and she grinned. “Get on with yourself, Benjamin Marshall.”

  Ben turned and clapped his hand on Max’s shoulder. “You the man, Max! Whooo! Did you see that uppercut?”

  All the guys cheered. Max looked uncomfortable. Nikki took his hand. “Thank you.”

  He smiled uncertainly and she gave him a hug. “My hero.”

  When she pulled away, his smile was stronger.

  “Well, guys, I think I’ve had as much excitement as I can take for one night,” Tom said.

  “Yeah, me too,” Cat agreed. “You ready, sweetie?”

  “Sure.” Jimmi nodded and turned to Nikki. “Good to see you, Nik. You and Max drop by. We’ll smoke some chops and some herb and chill.”

  Nikki gave him a kiss then one to Cat who had just planted a big one on Max, leaving him looking stunned. “We’ll do it. See ya.”

  Everyone left but Ben and Bill. They took a seat at a table with Nikki and Max.

  “Okay, you mentioned you wanted to talk to me about something,” Ben said to Nikki.

  “Yeah, I wanted to find out how I could go about bypassing a security system to get into someone’s computer files.”

  “Christ on a crutch!” Bill got up. “More illegal activities. If you’ll excuse me. Ben, I’ll wait in the car.”

  “Hey!” Nikki called as Bill turned to leave. “Nice to see you!”

  Bill stopped. “Yeah, you too, Nik. And Max, it was a real pleasure meeting you. Just do me one favor. See if you can talk some sense into these two before they end up in prison.”

  Max smiled and shrugged.

  “Now, as I was saying…” Nikki started again as Bill left the diner.

  “Yeah, I heard you.” Ben leaned back and regarded her solemnly. “But you’re talking breaking and entering, Nik.”

  “Like that carries any more of a jail term than hacking?”

  “Touché,” he smiled. “Okay, what exactly are we talking about?”

  Nikki looked at Max. After a moment he nodded. Quickly Nikki told Ben what they wanted to do and why.

  Ben whistled and shook his head. “Man, you’ve really been given a bum rap, haven’t you, Max? Shit. This could be tricky. Let me give it some thought and I’ll give you a call in a day or so.”

  “Okay, thanks.” Nikki didn’t feel she could ask for more. “Well, I guess we better hit the road, too.”

  Ben stood as Nikki and Max got up. Ben extended his hand to Max. “Hope to see you again soon, Max. Matter of fact, maybe we could get together some time without Nik.”

  Max smiled and nodded.

  Nikki walked around the table and hugged Ben tightly then gave him a soft kiss. “I love you.”

  Ben smiled and cupped her face in his hands, rubbing his nose against hers. “Same here. Be careful, okay?”

  “Always,” she grinned. “Max, you ready?”

  Max nodded without expression. She gave him a curious look. Maybe he was just tired. It was nearly four in the morning. He probably wasn’t used to being up so late.

  Max stared out of the side window on the drive home. He couldn’t face Nikki. Not after what had happened. How could he have been so blind, so stupid? Why didn’t he ever stop to think that someone as beautiful and special as Nikki would have someone in her life? Why did he ever think he could be that someone? He felt like such a fool. Suddenly the best night of his life had become the worst.

  When they reached the estate and got out of the car, she hurried to keep up with him as he made for the house.

  “Hold on!” She grabbed his arm. “What’s wrong?”

  He gestured it was nothing.

  “Are you sure?”

  He nodded. There was no way he’d tell her the truth. He wasn’t about to let her know how much of a fool he’d been, hoping that she had the kind of feelings a woman had for a man, for him.

  “Okay.” She backed off. “Thanks for going out with me. I really had a good time. And thanks for coming to my rescue with the drunk.”

  Max nodded and hurried away. Nikki watched him go, trying to figure out what had caused the dramatic change in his behavior. She had no idea.

  Going to her room, she lay down, but wasn’t sleepy. On an impulse, she grabbed a towel and headed outside. It wasn’t dawn yet, so no one was moving about. She walked down to the pier, slipped off her jeans and shirt, and dove into the water.

  Nikki swam around, letting the events of the evening run through her mind. She was disappointed things had ended as they had, and also puzzled. She thought they had a good time. Max had seemed happy and pretty much at ease. What had happened to change things?

  Swimming back to the pier, she climbed up.

  “Jeez!” She jumped and threw her hands over her breasts as she saw the shadowy figure. “Max?”

  He took a step toward her, trying not to pay attention to the fact that she was wearing only her underwear, covering her bare breasts with her hands.

  “God, you scared me!”

  Max didn’t know how to ask what he wanted to know. Nikki came close to him.

  “What’s wrong?”

  I don’t know how to even begin, he hesitantly communicated to her.

  “Just tell me what’s wrong. Please.” She reached out to touch him.

  “Oh shit!” She quickly snatched up her shirt as it fell and draped it around her upper body. “Sorry. Please, will you talk to me?”

  Gathering his courage, Max communicated as best he could. Why didn’t you tell me you were in love with Ben?

  “What?” She looked at him in astonishment. “Hold on, back up. You think I’m in love with Ben? What gave you that idea?”

  Well, for starters you said so.

  “Me? What could I possibly have done to make you think that?”

  Max communicated the answer. She’d said it to Ben.

  “Oh, that!” She laughed in relief when she finally understood. “Well, yeah, I did say it. And I meant it. But as a friend. Not a lover.”

  Max was not convinced. But I saw you kiss him.

  Nikki was surprised. “Well, yeah I did. I always kiss him. Just like I do all my friends. But it was a friendly kiss, not an in-love kiss.”

  What’s the difference?

  Nikki didn’t know how to explain. She moved closer and reached up to kiss Max the same way she had kissed Ben.

  “Did that feel like an in-love kiss?”

  Max shrugged. How would I know?

  Nikki saw the look in his eyes. She understood it. Hell, she even shared it. The question was how long could she deny it? What factors did she have to take into account to justify her feelings? Did love have to be based on intellectual or even emotional maturity? Was it important that his life had been so different from hers or that the future held obstacles that might prove insurmountable for them? Did any of that really matter or was the only thing that was really important how she honestly felt?

  The questions pounded at her mind.

  Max put his hand on the side of her face. I’m sorry.
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br />   His touch was her final straw. For the first time in her life she couldn’t let her head make decisions for her heart. She couldn’t run from it anymore. Forgetting about her state of undress, she reached up to pull his face down.

  Their lips met softly at first. Max’s arms went around her and her lips parted. Her tongue flicked at his lips. After a moment she felt them part.

  Hesitantly at first, then with growing boldness, Max gave in to the kiss. All of the suppressed longing and passion he’d held so tightly in check was released.

  Nikki’s hand moved over his shoulders and down his back, clutching and pulling him closer. He followed her lead, moving his hands down the smooth skin of her back until he felt the swell of firm flesh. He could go no further, even as much as he wanted to.

  She pulled back from the kiss and looked into his eyes. She could at last admit the truth to herself. What she felt for Max was not curiosity, pity, compassion, or friendship. It had nothing to do with who he was, or what his strengths and weaknesses were, anymore than it had to do with hers. As wrong as it might be or as hopeless, she did love him.

  I’ve wished for that since before I met you, he signed to her.

  “Before?” she teased gently, pushing away the sudden reminder of all the times she’d dreamed of and fantasized about him.

  He nodded and traced one finger along the side of her face before signing again. You’re so beautiful and I—

  “What?” she prompted when he stopped and looked away with a pained expression.

  “Max?” She took his face in both her hands and gently forced him to look at her. “You don’t have to be afraid with me. Please.”

  He shook his head and looked down for a moment, summoning his courage. I dream of you, he said quickly, without looking up.

  She started, once more acutely reminded of her own dreams. He looked at her in surprise and she gave him an embarrassed smile. “I dream of you, Max. Even when I’m awake I dream of you.”

  I want you. So much I hurt. I want to kiss you and touch you and love you. But I want you to want me. Not the cripple or the poor rich man with the affliction, but for me—the man I am inside.

  “I do,” she breathed softly. “Oh god, Max, I do.”