“Don’t care. It was painful, but it was worth it. I’m wearing it to bed again too.”
“Well, okay then. As long as you’re not doing yourself any damage, that’s fine.” She’s quiet for a few seconds before she asks, “You’re not, are you?”
“No, Mistress. I’m checking my circulation, and everything’s fine.”
She sighs loudly and I wonder if I’ve screwed up somehow. Finally, after what seems like forever, she says, her voice soft and low, “I think you have to be the most dedicated submissive I’ve ever seen.”
“Thank you, Mistress. You won’t ever regret taking me on.”
“I think not. Did the grand opening go well?”
“Very. Everybody loved the store. It looks great, and we sold a lot, and I mean a lot. People were snatching merchandise up and filling their carts. Of course, we had a grand opening twenty percent off sale going on, but that’s okay. We’ll make it up with the repeat customers we created today.”
“I’m sure that’s true. Have you looked in tonight’s box?”
“Not yet. Hang on.” I do a repeat performance of the night before and when I open the box, I pull out an envelope. Opening it, a slip of paper greets me, a fancy slip of paper, and on its face it reads, Good for one piercing up to $350 at Heidelbrecht’s Tattoos and Permanent Makeup. “Thank you, Mistress. Is there anything I should know?”
“No. You just have no piercings, and I want you to get one.”
“Like what kind?” I’m terrified of the answer to this question.
“Dunno. You can look at the body modification pics they have and choose. So, you go back to Boone’s to get your car when you get off the plane tomorrow, right?”
That makes me swallow hard, but I’ve got to keep up the conversation. “Yep. I asked and he wants to be back by five so he can eat dinner with Melina and Baker.”
“Good.” I wait, expectantly, and my dream is fulfilled. “I’m not kidding, Brandt. I miss you like crazy.”
“I miss you too, baby. I do. Can’t wait to hold you.”
“Do you want to come straight over after you get your car?”
“Yes. I do. I’ll give you a call when I’m headed your way and we’ll go get a bite.”
“Sounds good. See you tomorrow, Panther. I can barely wait.”
“Same here, Mistress. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, babe.”
A piercing. Like, what do they call them, a Prince Albert? God, that’s scary as fuck.
I lie there in my agony, wondering if she’ll be pleased when she sees me in my CBT gear. How long will it take for that stretcher to do its work? How long before we can take it out a notch to make them longer? I never thought I’d want my balls to hang halfway to my knees, but if that’s what she wants, that’s what I want too.
Suddenly, free-balling has a whole new meaning. It should probably be called free-banging, because they’ll be slapping together and into my leg. The idea makes me chuckle. I’ll have bull balls!
And if that’s what she wants, that’s what she’s going to get.
* * *
I’ve never been as glad to see anyone as I am to see her standing there in her kitchen when I walk in. I can tell she’s been cooking by the aroma in the air, but she’s still the most mouthwatering thing in the room.
But we haven’t been finished with dinner for ten minutes when she asks, “So when do you plan to tell everyone?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to―”
“So basically, you have no intention of it,” Dani says, her voice sour.
“We’ve had this discussion,” I remind her.
“That’s ‘we’ve had this discussion, Mistress,’ or have you forgotten your manners?” she spits back. “You know you have to do this. This isn’t fair to me. Of course, being fair to me doesn’t seem to be at issue here,” she mutters into her glass.
I can’t believe she’s picking a fight as soon as I get back. “You know it’s not like that. I’m just trying to find―”
“Just trying to find a way to not have to tell everybody. Maybe I should look for another submissive.”
As she rises from the table, I catch her arm, but she shakes my hand off. “Don’t do this. You know if I could, I―”
“Oh, you can. You just won’t. Let’s be honest. You’re ashamed of yourself and your desires, which makes you automatically ashamed of me.”
“That’s not true!” I almost shout. “I’m not ashamed of you! I’m proud to be seen with you!”
“As long as everybody thinks we’re both Dominants. That can’t work, Brandt, and you know it.”
“Look, just don’t go after another submissive, okay? I don’t think I can handle that,” I beg in a ragged whisper.
“So I can’t scene with you and I can’t scene with anybody else. Guess I might as well give up.” Her tone is somewhere between exasperated and angry, and I don’t know how to respond. After a few seconds, she says, “Yeah. That’s what I thought,” and stalks into the kitchen with her hands full of dirty dishes.
I follow her in there and when I reach her, I grab her shoulder and spin her. “Look, I’ll think of something. Boone and Melina are having a party tomorrow night. Come. I’ll fix this, I promise.”
Her eyes pop open wide. “You’re serious.”
“Yes. I am. I’ll fix it. I don’t know how, but I will. So please, come?”
“Sure. A chance to be seen in public with you? I’ll do it. What time?”
“I’ll pick you up at six thirty. How’s that?”
She nods. “Okay. Sounds good.”
“Are we okay? I don’t want you mad at me. I’ve been gone and I’ve missed you.” My lips find the soft spot under her ear and I hear her groan.
“Maybe you should just go home and let me try to work off some of my mad by scrubbing the bathroom.”
“Baby, don’t be like that. Please?”
Folding her arms across her chest, she pouts a little, but I have to say, that shows off her tits in spectacular fashion. “Tomorrow night. This had better be it, Brandt.”
“Okay. Tonight, let’s just be together. Please?”
“I have missed you. Let’s just be lovers tonight, not a submissive and his mistress. I think I just feel disconnected from you.”
“I want to reconnect with you too, so that sounds good to me.”
Three hours later I’m still buried deep inside her, stroking away, taking time to tease her clit and nipples, leaning in to kiss her and loving the feel of her fingers in my hair. She’s beautiful. She’s glorious. She’s my dream come true. And I realize my dream has been on hold because of this fear I’m carrying around. It’s got to stop somehow.
But tomorrow night … Maybe that will be a turning point. I certainly hope so. I don’t know how many more second chances she’ll give me.
* * *
“You are coming tonight, right?” Boone asks me as I go through the stack of shipping manifests on my desk. It may be Saturday morning, but I’ve been gone half the week, and there are things that have to be done today.
“Yes. About that …”
“Yeah?”
“Mind if I bring a guest?”
His eyebrows shoot up. “Please do! Is this beautiful?”
“No. It’s Dani.” He has a weird look on his face. “I mean, we’re very, very good friends.”
“I know you’re good friends, but shouldn’t you be spending your time on a relationship that can go somewhere? I mean, you could be working with submissives at the club and getting laid. Brandt, there are half a dozen of them there who’d jump on you right this minute if you just said the word.”
“Can’t a guy just have friends?” I ask, trying to work up a head of steam.
“Good friends? So is she teaching you or something?” I nod. “Yeah, well, a male Dominant and female Dominant hanging out together is kind of odd. We don’t see that very often.”
“Yeah, well, good friends,” I mumble again.
>
“Are you hoping to sway her in the other direction?”
“No. It’s not like that.”
“What’s it like then? Because you can’t be doing much of anything if she’s a Dominant.”
“Well, uh,” I stammer, trying to salvage the conversation. And then a light bulb goes off. “Actually, she’s a switch.” My mind instantly bellows, Aww, hell. I shouldn’t have said that.
“Oh! Well, then, congratulations! So you are getting some play in together?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Good! It’s about time you dipped your wick somewhere!”
“Yeah, well, she doesn’t want anybody at the club to know. Wants to keep up that tough girl persona, you know,” I say in explanation, my heart hammering. I hope I haven’t just messed up royally.
“Right, right.” His walkie squawks. “Guess I’d better get back down on the floor. Something’s wrong with some of the electrical outlets and we’re either going to have to hire new electricians who can fix them or there’s a ‘come to Jesus’ meeting in my future.” I hear his boots as they clomp down the stairs and my heart shivers in my chest.
What the hell have I done? I’ll have to keep her away from him. Should I tell her what I said to him? Probably not. If I can keep him from blurting it out, everything should be fine. I’ll figure out a way to tell her later. Telling her before the party is definitely out. If I do that, she won’t go, and I really want her to be there.
The rest of the afternoon is torture. I spend it vacillating between wondering if I’ve committed a huge fuck-up and thrilled that she’s going to be there. At home I change into a pair of jeans, my boots, and a red and black plaid flannel shirt over a black tank. I roll up my sleeves, slip on my hand-tooled leather belt with the silver and gold buckle, and head to the car.
When I get to her place, she meets me at the door in a denim dress and a pair of ankle boots. “Lawd, girl, you look hot,” I whisper and lean in to kiss her.
“That’s Mistress to you, buster, and you look pretty damn hot yourself,” she says and kisses me back, her fingers raking through my beard. “Ready?”
“If you are.” Escorting her to the car, opening her door, making sure she’s comfortable and buckled in―I love doing all of that for her, serving her and taking care of her needs, whatever they might be. I live for it.
We get there just as everybody else is pulling in. Tonight we’ll all find out the sex of the baby. The fun part? Boone and Melina don’t know either. They gave the unopened results to the bakery and ordered a cake. Whatever color the inside of the cake is, that’s the sex of the baby. If it’s green or yellow, I guess we’re in deep trouble.
Boone’s grilling like a maniac, and Brian’s out there helping him. Clint, Dave, Lucien, and Steffen are shooting the shit over what looks like bourbon, and the girls are all in the kitchen stirring this and sprinkling that. “I’m going out to help Boone. You going in there with the girls?”
Dani shrugs. “I guess I’m supposed to, huh?”
“You don’t have to. You can come with me. Up to you.”
“I’ll go in there with them. Catch up with you in a little bit.” Then she rises up on her tiptoes and gives me a little kiss. I wasn’t expecting that.
“So, you guys doing okay?” Boone asks as soon as I step out onto the patio.
“Yep. Doing fine.”
“I still can’t get over Dani being a switch.”
“Yeah, well, she doesn’t talk about it much. That’s not always welcome in the community,” I remind him.
“True.”
“You hoping for a boy or a girl?”
My baby brother smiles broadly. “Don’t really care, but honestly, I’d kinda like the chance to have a Daddy’s girl.”
“Have names picked out?”
He shakes his head. “Not yet, but we did decide that if it’s a girl, her middle name will be Lawson.”
“Baby Lawson Lawson?” That makes no sense.
“Yeah. Melina’s idea. Then when she marries, she’ll still have the Lawson name.”
I have to admit, that’s pretty damn smart―weird, but smart. We go on to talk about pretty much everything else, thank god. I really don’t want to talk about my relationship with Dani. It’s hard enough to be different in the outside world. Being different in the lifestyle is even harder, at least in my family. I’m living proof.
As soon as dinner is eaten, Boone claps his hands together loudly. “Okay, everybody! It’s the moment of truth. Before we do this, I want to thank all of you for being here tonight. We’re super excited to be able to share this moment with everybody. So, baby, come here.” He waits until Melina is beside him, then says, “Grab the cake cutter.” Once she has it in hand, he wraps his hand over hers and they slice into the cake.
“Oh, my god, I can’t look,” Melina cries out, her eyes squeezed tightly shut.
But Boone’s voice is excited when he calls out, “Oh, my god, y’all, look!”
It’s pink.
There’s a lot of laughter and back slapping and some crying. My arm is around Dani’s waist and I give her a little squeeze. When she looks up at me, I smile. If I stay with her, this is not in the cards for me, and that’s okay. I’ll have her son to help her take care of, and that will be plenty, not to mention a grandchild.
Everybody hangs around for another hour or so. Then I look at my watch and realize Dani probably needs to go, so I duck out to the restroom. When I step back into the room, I find her standing not too far from the door, and there’s a strange look on her face, one I can’t read. “I guess you probably need to get home,” I whisper to her.
“Yes. I do. I’ve said my goodbyes. You should say yours.” Instead of standing there to wait for me, she turns and steps out the front door, and I can’t help but think how strange that is.
I hug Boone and then Melina. “Congratulations, you two.”
“Thanks for being here, and thanks for bringing Dani,” Boone says and hugs me again.
“Wouldn’t be anywhere else.”
“I hope she enjoyed herself. See you tomorrow at the office.”
“Yep. See you there.” I speak to everybody on my way out, shake hands or hug them, and head out. Dani’s standing beside my car, leaning back against it. “Let me get your door, Mistress,” I whisper to her. She moves out of the way without saying a word, and I wait until she’s in and her seat belt is buckled to close the door.
But as soon as my car door closes, my world goes to hell. “What the fuck did you think you were doing?”
Uh-oh. Something’s happened. “What do you mean?”
“What do I mean? You told Boone that I’m a fucking switch?”
Son of a bitch, I’m screwed. “He was pressing me about the relationship, and I didn’t know what to say, and I was trying to―”
“You told him I’m a FUCKING SWITCH? Are you kidding me? How DARE you!”
“Look, Mistress, I―”
“Don’t call me Mistress. Take me home.”
“Dani, please―”
“Just. Drive. I don’t want to talk.” I start to say something else, but she interrupts me. “I mean it. No talking.”
We ride along in silence, and I know I’ve really fucked up. I get her being mad, but this is way, way beyond that. She’s furious. I can see her trembling as I’m driving, and it’s not in fear. When we pull up in front of her house, I open my car door, but she barks, “No. Stay in the car. I don’t need you to walk me to the door. I’d rather walk myself.”
“Dani, please, just―”
“No, Brandt. I’ve had it. I wanted to hang on, but you just took away all my incentive because you’ve ruined my reputation as a Dominant. You know what? You’re not a submissive. Nope. You’re a fucking pussy. That’s what you are. Too fucking pussified to tell everybody the truth.”
“Babe, please, you don’t mean that. I’m sorry, really. I shouldn’t have―”
“Don’t call me babe. Don’t call me―peri
od. Don’t come by here. I don’t want to talk to you. I’m going inside and I’ve got to start figuring out how to do damage control.” She interrupts me again when she says, “Don’t worry. I’m not going to out your sorry ass, but I’m not putting up with this. You can lie about yourself and to yourself all you want, Brandt, but when you start lying about me, well, that’s where I draw the line.” She slams the car door so hard that I’m surprised the window didn’t shatter.
Something in my gut twists and I leap out of the car and take off after her, but when I grab her arm, she wheels and slaps me―hard. My voice sounds foreign when I moan out, “Babe, I’m so, so sorry. I―”
“I told you, don’t call me babe. Don’t call me Mistress. Don’t call me at all. Goodbye, Brandt. Go home and hide in your little cocoon.” In seconds she’s inside, the door slammed behind her, and I’m left standing there in shock.
I think we just broke up.
* * *
“Brandt? Brandt! Are you listening to me?”
My head snaps up and I try to focus, but it’s hard. Boone’s sitting three feet away, a file folder in his hand. “Um, yeah. What did you say?”
“I said, what’s the ETA on the shipment from Plexus Sportswear? I’m getting calls from all of my store managers. We’ve got customers asking for it at the stores and it hasn’t shown up yet.”
I scramble around on my desk. “Looks like … tomorrow.”
“Okay. Then it’s, what, two days to distribute?”
Shit. I forgot to set up all the distribution shipments. “Yeah. At least two days.” It’s going to be more like four, but I don’t dare tell him that.
“Two days? Not good, but I’ll take it. Can you check on that, please?”
“Sure. No problem.” My head is spinning and I feel sick. I’m going to lose my job at this rate. As soon as I can hustle him out of my office, I’ll have to double-time it to get this done. “Anything else?”
He stands and I almost breathe a sigh of relief. “No. Can’t think of anything. Baker’s got a doctor’s appointment this afternoon, so Melina and I will be going with him to that.” Turning in the doorway, he asks, “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Blissfully Hers: Bliss Series, Book Seven Page 24