“And I’ve never loved anybody the way I love you. You’re truly the answer to all my prayers.”
“We should go in the bedroom and―”
“We’ve got somewhere we’ve got to be tonight.”
“I know. I’m nervous,” she says, and I’m shocked. To hear her say she’s nervous is quite a surprise. I’m the one who should be nervous. It’s do or die time.
At Dani’s instructions, I made the reservations, and it’s at a nice, upscale restaurant where my brothers are forced to wear chinos and polo shirts and something other than hunting boots. Funny thing is, they look equally at home in those as opposed to their regular attire. Mom and Dad look nice too. Hell, my dad’s just a good-looking man all around, and my mother is as beautiful as she was when I was a child. Caleb’s dressed nicely too―none of those sweat pants tonight―and Hazel looks cute in her little ruffled dress. Bethany has designated herself as Hazel’s keeper for the evening, and that’s fine with everybody else. She may only be twelve, but she’s a very grown-up twelve, and letting her run after Hazel is the evening’s best idea.
The meal is scrumptious. I didn’t set up a menu, so everybody just orders what they want. As soon as the dishes are cleared, my dad stands. “We’ve got some business to take care of tonight. First, I think Boone has something he wants to say. Son?”
My youngest brother rises, and I can’t imagine what he’s about to say. We know Melina’s pregnant, we know it’s a girl, and we know it’s not twins. “As you all know, Brandt came here to officiate at our wedding and never left. Talk about not knowing when to leave!” Everybody laughs, including me. “I just want to say that putting him to work for me was the best decision I ever made, including hiring the two of you,” he says and points to Blake and Brock, both of whom scowl. “Brandt brought a lot of things to the business. Of course, there’s his legal background. That’s been invaluable. But there have been a lot of other things too. He’s not afraid to get in the trenches and do what needs to be done. He’s been an awesome liaison with the retailers. Our shipments are getting where they’re supposed to go, and getting there faster, because of changes he’s made to let things run smoother. He’s also saved us an assload of money on other things, like utilities and lease agreements, because he knows how to negotiate, and he’s good at it. So tonight, in front of everybody so it’s harder for him to decide,” he says and laughs, “there’s something I want to ask him. I’ve got a baby on the way. I want to spend all the time with her, my wife, and my son that I can. And I can’t do that and keep up the pace I’ve been keeping. So, Brandt, would there be any chance you’d be interested in the position of CEO of Lawson’s of Alabama?”
All the air vacates my lungs and I can’t seem to suck a breath in. CEO of Lawson’s. Me? “Wuhh, um, I, uh …”
“If you need a couple of days to think it over―”
“Hell no! I accept! Oh my god, Boone!” I think my chair spills over when I hop up―I’m not sure―and I head straight for him. The hug he gives me is tighter than any hug I’ve ever had in my life.
And then he whispers the magic words in my ear: “Welcome home, brother.”
I’m overcome with emotion. I’m here with my family, every one of them, and they love me and accept me for who I am, not who they thought I was. The real me. The one I didn’t want them to see. And they didn’t stop loving me. “What on earth made you decide to do this tonight?”
His arms are still wrapped around me when he tells me, “Because Dani told me you guys were thinking about doing a lot of work on the house. I thought I’d do this so you could just buy another one if you wanted and not have to go through all that. Your sign-on bonus is one and a quarter million, Brandt. It’s yours. Use it to make your life the best it’s ever been.” He gives me two hard slaps on the back, pushes me back, smiles at me, and then turns to everybody in the room. “I think that’s a yes!”
Congratulations are everywhere, and I look over to see my mother still in her chair, her arm wrapped around a weeping Dani who’s leaning into her shoulder. I really am home. Then my father’s voice cuts through the din again. “Hey, everybody. We’ve got something else going on tonight, and I need everybody to sit down and get serious for a minute.” Seats are all filled and everybody sits expectantly. “I’ll turn this over to the person who wants to speak to everyone.” And then he sits.
Nobody moves for a full minute, and I know something’s about to happen. I just don’t know what. From outside the room comes a server with a wooden box and I’m curious about that.
Until he stops in front of Dani.
Holy shit, is this what I think it is? She’s going to ruin my surprise! I can’t believe I’m about to be upstaged. Before I can say anything, she rises and moves to the head of the table, and I know better than to interrupt. The floor belongs to my Mistress, and I have to sit and wait.
She places the box on the table in front of her, then clasps her hands together and gazes around the room. Oh, and she occasionally sniffles because she’s still crying. When she finally has herself collected, she starts to speak, and my heart pounds out of my chest. “A few months ago, I took on the training of a submissive. This was no ordinary submissive. This was a submissive who’d never been allowed to be a submissive, who’d never explored his submissive side, but who wanted to learn. He also wanted to serve. As I got to know him, I realized his whole life had been about service, and that those he’d tried so hard to serve had rejected him.” Her eyes are soft and I feel mine begin to sting with tears. “I had every intention of training him and also passing him to some of my fellow Dominatrices for other kinds of training, but something about this submissive really drew me to him. He was a gentleman, kind and thoughtful. He was sensitive but strong. He had an amazing work ethic, and he worked as hard to please me as he did at his job. I knew a few of his family members so I knew none of that was an act―his whole family was like that, and I knew it wasn’t something he was doing just to impress me. But most of all, whatever I asked of him, he did, and he never complained. He worked hard to look one step ahead and meet my needs before I even knew I had them. When he was around, I didn’t have to worry about anything. He took care of everything. No one knows what that did for me after years of being alone and raising my son, who, for the record, is an extraordinary young man,” she says and smiles at Caleb, who grins back. “And then …” Her voice falters and her eyes redden. “And then I almost lost him. I almost gave up on him. I almost decided it wasn’t worth the work. But deep down in my heart, I knew it was. He was. His pain became my pain, and his joy became my joy.” She locks her gaze with mine. “Brandt, my love, I owe you an apology unlike any I’ve ever owed anyone. I wasn’t there for you when you needed me most, and I pressured you at a time when you were feeling especially fragile. For that, I will go to my grave with regret. I don’t know how I found you as quickly as I did that night, but I thank whatever powers rule over us every day that I did. If I’d lost you …”
I close my eyes against the pain in her voice. This is huge for her, to stand in front of all these people, people in whose family she’s hoping to be included, and admit her shortcomings. And yet I love her all the more for it as she struggles to continue. “But I didn’t. So tonight, Brandt, I want to ask you something if you’ll come up here.” I’m so overcome with emotion that it’s work for me to rise, but I do, and I make my way to the head of the table. “And before you ask, yes―I’ve talked to your parents and this is fine with them. You didn’t know it, but they’ve both talked to me, so that formality is out of the way.” When I reach her, she reaches out both hands and I take them in mine. “I have something to ask you. Brandt Thomas Lawson, I would like to offer you my collar, if you’ll have it. Will you accept it?”
I was not expecting this. I thought she was going to ask if we can move in together, but this is so much better than that. I close my eyes and feel a tear escape the inside corners. “Mistress, I would be honored.”
“The
n kneel before me and receive my gift to you.” When I’m on my knees, she opens the box. To my surprise, she takes out a gold chain and places it around her own neck. That wasn’t what I thought was going to happen either … until she takes out another chain. It looks very much like my chrome one, but it’s yellow gold with some kind of silver wrapping around the links. It’s gorgeous and, to my relief, not at all girly. Very masculine. She reaches to her neck and that’s when I see it.
A key. It’s on the chain around her neck. The key is gold too, and it’s encrusted with tiny diamonds. She unlocks a gold-plated padlock on the collar and proceeds to put it around my neck. When that padlock clicks shut, I feel complete for the first time in my life. I’m wanted. I have a mistress. I’m not alone, and I have purpose and someone to serve. I have dignity and honor, enough dignity and honor that someone else wants me. I wasn’t prepared for all the emotions cascading through me, but they’re all there. “Submissive, I give you this collar as a sign of my love and fidelity to you. I promise to protect and care for you all of my days, and you will have my undying devotion.”
I’ve practiced this a million times and now I’m so nervous that I’m afraid I’ll blow it. Yeah, I’d dreamed about it, so I know exactly what I want to say. Bowing my head, I say, slowly but with all the strength I can muster, “My Mistress, you are the center of my universe. For the rest of my life, I will strive to serve you, care for you, love you, anticipate your needs, and be the submissive you need. Should I fail you, it will be from sheer ignorance, because my love and devotion are forever yours until the end of time.” Her hand is lying softly on my head, and I bow down and kiss first her left shoe and then the right. When I right myself and look up into her face, tears drip from her jaw onto my forehead and I feel baptized, clean and fresh and whole.
Every person in the room rises to their feet and begins to applaud. Dani tries to pull me up, but I stay there on my knees as the door to the room opens and two servers carry in a huge cake with two hearts entwined on its top in icing. Everybody has started to chatter until I call out, “Y’all got a lot of cake to eat.” When they fall silent and their heads swivel to look at me, I dig down in my pocket and pull out the little box. “I’m not getting up off my knees until you tell me you’ll marry me, Danielle Lynn O’Leary. I love you more than I ever thought possible, and I want you to be my wife.” She’s just standing there, staring, jaw slack. “Well? My knees are starting to hurt. I don’t have my kneeling cushion. Say something!”
“Oh! God, yes! YES! Oh, god, Brandt, yes!” Instead of waiting for me to stand, she drops to her knees in front of me and kisses me. That’s when the servers follow my instructions and tote in a huge cake with our names on it: Congratulations on Your Engagement, Danielle and Brandt!
“More CAKE!” I hear Baker yell loudly and everybody starts to laugh. Danielle and I are laughing through our tears. I don’t know about her, but I think this is the happiest moment of my life. And I can barely wait to make even happier ones.
* * *
“Are you sure you can do this?”
Caleb nods enthusiastically. “Yes. I’m positive, Mom. Stop worrying! It’s not like you’re going to be fifty miles away. You’re right across the yard, and I have the thingy.” He pulls the emergency service fob out of his shirt, its cord dangling. “I’ll be fine. Hazel will be fine. I’m not an invalid, you know.”
That comment makes me smile. Caleb may be wheelchair-bound, but he’s correct―he’s no invalid. Even though his cerebral palsy robbed him of the ability to walk, he’s still able to do pretty much anything he puts his mind to. The cottage on our new property is his home now, complete with totally accessible everything. He’s got long-reach tools all over the house to get to things up higher than his hands can go, and his closet has low rods. The room Dani decorated for Hazel is adorable, and I’m confident Caleb will be able to take care of her while she’s there.
That means we have the house to ourselves, and it’s the house of my dreams. Plenty of room, open floor plan, huge kitchen, a master suite unlike anything I’ve ever seen before, and a private playroom that most people would never know existed. It’s so well hidden that I can’t imagine anybody could find it. They’d search and never figure it out, behind the hidden panel on the back wall.
And inside that room? Nirvana. It’s the kind of thing most kinksters could only dream of. Dani outfitted it, with Boone and Brian’s help, and it’s pretty damn amazing.
She’s pretty damn amazing, this woman who calls me hers. I can’t begin to say what she means to me. Words haven’t been invented that would describe what we have. Every day I wake up to that beautiful face and know that, no matter what happens, I belong to her.
The extra-wide sidewalks I had put in between Caleb’s cottage and the main house are super nice, and we chat as the three of us head back to our house. I’m surprised when I get there to find Boone and Melina already there, moving things around and getting everything ready. Caleb stays to wait for Kaitlyn to drop off Hazel while we make our way upstairs. By the time I’ve helped Dani with the zipper up the back of her dark gray dress and she’s tied my tie, I can hear voices downstairs. Most of them are Lawsons, I can tell. But when I take my bride-to-be’s hand and lead her down the stairs, I’m overwhelmed with the sight of flowers everywhere and all the friends and loved ones here. All the Bliss crew is here, and along with my family, Dani’s mother, stepdad, and sister are also here. I’ve never gotten to meet her family, but we’ve talked on the phone, and I know we’re going to get along just fine. Dave looks very distinguished in a suit and tie, and a pang of sadness hits me when I remember all the weddings I performed for happy couples. I’ll never do that again, but that’s okay. My life is better than it’s ever been, and that’s all in the past.
Lucien sidles up to me and pats me on the back. “Congratulations, Brandt. I hope you guys will be very happy.”
“When are you two tying the knot?”
“As soon as we can get Carly’s adoption finalization date nailed down. We’re going down to the courthouse and do both at the same time. Hope you’ll come.”
I give him a huge smile. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world!”
“Is everybody ready? Brandt? Danielle?” I hear Dave call out.
“Ready?” I whisper to the love of my life.
“Ready. Beyond ready.”
And so we step up to the flower-covered arbor, take each other’s hands, and say the vows that will bind us forever. We have love. We have family. And we have a community that’s embraced us and given us a place to be ourselves. For the first time in my life, I’m with a woman who loves me more than she loves herself.
Four hours later, all the guests are gone and it’s just family. Dad sits in my big recliner, Mom right beside him on a smaller chair. Boone, Brock, and Blake relax in various places around the room, their wives sitting at their feet, either leaning against their legs or with arms folded across their laps. We all chat and laugh as we make plans to meet up with Dani’s family the next day for lunch. And me?
I’m sitting at the feet of my Mistress, unashamed and at peace. It’s the only place I want to be for the rest of my life. Come what may, we’ll be together.
My dream has come true.
* * *
“You see, it’s simple, really. Forgiveness isn’t something that’s bestowed upon us. We can be told a million times that we’re forgiven, but until we forgive ourselves, it doesn’t matter. Forgiveness begins in here,” I say, my right fist pressed to my left pec. “No matter what, that’s where it has to begin. Begin today so your tomorrow will be better. And now our time of reflection begins.” It’s five minutes, but I’ve been told it feels like five hours to some of the people around me.
You know, I thought Boone was crazy when he suggested this. I told him it wouldn’t work. I told him they’d never come, that they wouldn’t be interested, that it would turn out to be a joke.
Once again, thankfully, I was wrong. The jo
ke was on me.
He insisted I approach Brian about it, and I knew he’d say it was a ridiculous idea. To my shock and, yeah, sort of to my horror, he said he thought it was a great idea and gave me the green light. Then Boone got to work finding a curtain system like they have in the hospital emergency areas and we got it installed. Oddly, it’s quite the asset to the club too, because it allows the performance areas to be selectively closed off, and that’s great if there’s a shortage of private rooms. Once we got that all hung, the furniture was no problem. Everything in the large common area slides pretty easily, so it’s easy to move.
The only thing left was to put out the word. A church service in a BDSM club―right. I can hear it now from Brock: “So, how’s that workin’ for ya?”
Surprisingly well. For four months now, every Sunday morning has seen at least seventy-five smiling faces congregated in the common room. To say I was shocked shitless would be an understatement. We talked about it that first week and I discovered that my idea was exactly what they wanted.
And so we have a time when we talk about things we’d like to be encouraged with. That’s followed by a reading from some sacred text by me, and I can tell you, that’s pretty varied. I’ve read from the Christian Bible, the Torah, the Q’aran, the Book of Mormon, Buddhist texts, the Apocrypha, even some Gardnerian Wiccan texts, and anything else I can lay my hands on. I try to rotate them as best I can. I’ve made it clear that there is no wrong theology here unless it proposes to do harm to others, and then it has no place here. We don’t talk about God during our time together except in the way that each person’s belief in a higher being or beings affects their daily life. This is a place where we meet, we smile, we hug, we lift each other up, we pause to reflect, and we go on our way blessed and encouraged. My goal?
Blissfully Hers: Bliss Series, Book Seven Page 27