Lovestruck Forever

by Rachel Schurig

  “Oh, yes, Lizzie. Everyone here is talking about it.” When I continued to look blank, she smirked a little and pointed down at my ring. “If you didn’t want people to know you should probably have taken it off.”

  Damn it. Heidi had suggested to me that I leave the ring at home for the entirety of our trip to San Diego. But I had refused to be away from it for so long, instead promising I would remove it before any public events, as I had been doing since the day Thomas popped the question. And here I was, minutes before the most public event I’d be attending, still wearing it. I was so used to it by now that it had entirely slipped my mind to worry about it.

  “It’s certainly not a secret,” I said, struggling to avoid that familiar look in her eyes—the one that said I was a clueless country bumpkin, completely out of my league in her world. “We just haven’t gone out of our way to announce it, either.”

  “Why ever not?” She seemed genuinely confused. “A wedding is fantastic for publicity. Thomas’s press—and your press, too—will go up exponentially once it gets out.”

  “Thomas’s press is fine,” I said, squeezing my hands behind my back so she couldn’t see how much she was bugging me.

  “And yours is, too,” she murmured, smiling slyly. “I heard about your new agent. Well done, Lizzie.” She opened her eyes innocently before continuing. “But you know, dearest, the media bump of being his girlfriend will only last so long. If you really want to capitalize on the situation, you need to get the engagement news out there as soon as you possibly can.”

  “I don’t want to capitalize on the situation,” I began hotly.

  “Oh, I’m so sorry to offend, Lizzie. I just assumed, from all the news reports, that you were using the existence of your relationship to your advantage. The agent shopping your book, and all…”

  Before I had managed to stop sputtering in rage, she wiped the smile off her face and leaned in close, a look of intense concern on her face.

  “But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. There’s something you need to know, about Thomas.”

  I had long since reached the point of having enough of her. “What about Thomas?” I asked, my voice flat and filled with impatience.

  “There are…rumors.”

  I wished with all my heart that it would be socially acceptable to push her down on her ass and walk away. Instead I blew out a long, exasperated breath. “What rumors?”

  She looked at me for a long moment, her worried expression doing little to hide her absolute delight at the situation. “Well, there’s no easy way to say this, dear, so I’ll just be out with it. He’s been seen around town with another woman.”

  I laughed out loud, unable to help it. This was absurd, even from her.

  But Lola went on. “I know you think you trust him, Lizzie. Believe me, I’ve been there myself. Idle gossip is nothing to lose your head over. But you see…well, the thing is, Lizzie, this isn’t some random stranger.”

  I will not take the bait. I will not take the bait. I crossed my arms, eyebrows raised at her. If she wanted to tell me what the hell she was on about, she could, but I’d damned if I justified her accusations by asking who it was.

  “Have you ever heard him talk about an old girlfriend? A Franny, something?”

  In spite of myself, I felt a sliver of cold creep down my back. Franny was Thomas’s only other serious relationship. A relationship that, according to his friends, had broken his heart.

  “You didn’t know,” Lola cooed. “I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news.”

  “Why is it bad news?” I asked hotly. “I’m not so insecure to think he’s cheating on me with an ex-girlfriend who took the first chance she could get to throw herself at Jackson.”

  “Good for you,” Lola said, patting my arm condescendingly. It couldn’t have been more clear that she didn’t buy my rebuttal for a moment. “You be strong, Lizzie.”

  “I really have to go,” I told her, forcing my hands to unclench. “Thanks for the heads up, Lola. You’re a real sweetheart.”

  Though I put as much sarcasm into the words as possible, she still smiled at me as if we were bestest friends. “Keep your chin up, Lizzie.”

  I turned away before I could do something I would regret, reminding myself to take calm, measured steps. There was no way I would give her the satisfaction of knowing that she had upset me.

  It was bad enough knowing it myself.

  Because as much as I knew that Thomas and I were happy, that he would no sooner kill a puppy than cheat on me, there was still a sharp little pain at the mention of Franny’s name. They had been close at one point, or at least he believed they were. He had loved her. If he had indeed seen her somewhere, whether by accident or on purpose, I knew it hadn’t been for any kind of nefarious reason.

  But he didn’t tell me, I thought to myself, my heart sinking. Even if he had just randomly run into her, why hadn’t he mentioned it to me?

  I reached the doors to the lobby and there was Thomas, directly ahead of me, at the bar with Jenner and one of the other executives. He looked gorgeous in his tux. He was more tan than the last time he’d worn one, his hair slightly longer in a way that suited his natural curls. I had the strongest urge to go to him, to run my fingers through those curls, to smell his familiar cologne and hold onto him until any trace of hurt or doubt edged away.

  He looked up at me, as if sensing I was there. His entire face lit up at the sight of me, his eyes quickly flicking down my dress in an appreciative way that made my stomach flip. If I were a stranger observing him, if I had watched his face change that way without any knowledge of the situation, I would have known that I was looking at a man in love.

  And that’s for you, I told myself. All for you.

  My face was already breaking into a smile of its own volition, and I realized I was walking toward him, drawn to him in that nameless way I had always been. As I crossed the room to his waiting arms, I left every fear and doubt that Lola had instilled behind me. There was no room for them under the weight of that much love.

  ***

  My phone woke me up the next morning. I fumbled for it on the nightstand, cursing whoever was calling me so early. “Hello?”

  “Lizzie? Have you seen the papers?”

  I squinted at the alarm clock, shocked to see it was after ten. We had stayed out quite late at the party and had both stopped keeping track of our champagne consumption before too long. I looked over at Thomas’s side of the bed to see that he was sound asleep and snoring, his hair mussed against the pillow, his mouth wide open.

  “Lizzie?” Callie asked, louder this time. “Are you there?”

  “I just woke up, Cal,” I whispered, pulling myself into a sitting position. “It’s only ten in the morning here and we were out all night.”

  “Sorry,” she said quickly, not sounding very sorry at all. “So I take it you haven’t seen the news?”

  “No.” I felt a little flicker of fear. “Why?”

  “Because you’re everywhere this morning.”

  I frowned at the phone. “What are you talking about?”

  “Your engagement, silly. It’s all over the place. Apparently the morning shows were all talking about you. And it’s all over the Internet—all the entertainment sites have pictures of you and Thomas in San Diego. Someone got a shot of your ring and everyone is quoting sources saying that you’re planning a fall wedding.”

  So it was out then. I wasn’t surprised; we’d been expecting the news to leak eventually. I knew Thomas would rather we avoid having the attention for as long as possible, but it was getting to be too hard to remember to take my ring off in public. Like last night.

  I climbed out of bed and padded over to the attached living room so as not to wake Thomas. “Are the pictures any good?” I asked, figuring I may as well accept this part of my life. It wasn’t like there was anything I could do to change it. So long as I was with Thomas, I was going to be in the papers occasionally. I may as well make su
re I looked half way decent.

  “You look fantastic,” Callie assured me. “Everyone is running a shot of you guys walking down Rodeo Drive, laughing. You’re in that blue sundress, the one with the chevron pattern? And then there are the pictures of the red carpet at that party last night, of course. That dress is hot, by the way. Where’d you get it?”

  “Thanks. Lorenzo made it for me.”

  She sighed loudly. “I have such fond memories of your first dress from Lorenzo. And here you are, going to another big fancy movie party. I wonder if I’ll ever get to rub shoulders with the rich and famous again.” She stopped short, as if something had just occurred to her. “Hey, do you think Jackson Coles is still single?”

  “Callie,” I cried, not sure if I should laugh or be offended. “You’re dating Charlie.”

  We hung up a few minutes later. I would have liked to climb back into bed, but I knew Thomas needed to be up for the Darkness panel in a few hours. Instead, I pulled on my robe and flicked through the room service menu. He was going to be annoyed when he found out about the press leak—the least I could do was to make sure he had some food in him to take the edge off the grumpiness.

  Before the food arrived, Thomas’s phone rang loudly on his nightstand. “Hello?” I heard him grumble a moment later. Thomas hated being woken up in the morning, and it typically took him several minutes of complaining and tossing and turning until he was able to face the world.

  “What do you mean it’s all over the papers?” he snarled, his voice loud. “Why in the hell didn’t you know this was going to hit today?”

  There was a long pause. Finally I heard him say a terse, “Fine. I’ll talk to you later.”

  I braced myself for his bad mood, but when he appeared in the living room, he just looked tired—and really attractive, with his tousled hair and bare chest. “I take it that was Heidi?” I asked, scrunching up my face in sympathy.

  “You know already?”

  I held up my phone. “Callie just called.”

  He collapsed onto the couch, pulling me into his side. “Sorry, love. I was hoping to spare you some of this attention.”

  “I think it’s my fault.” I held up my hand, showing him the ring. “I keep forgetting to take it off when we go out or when the press is going to be around. I wore it all last night. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault. I like that you don’t want to take it off. We’ll just have to deal with this now, I guess.”

  He sounded so despondent about it, I couldn’t help but bristle a little. “If I didn’t know any better, I might think that you’re embarrassed for people to know about me.”

  He moved on the couch so he was looking at me. “Are you kidding me?”

  I shrugged. “You seem unnecessarily upset by people finding out.”

  Without responding, he stood up and walked to the bedroom. I stared after him, wondering what in the hell he was so worked up about that he would leave in the middle of a conversation. Before I could call out that very question, he returned with his laptop. He sat again, not quite so close this time, and opened the lid.

  “Thomas—”

  “Hang on.”

  I watched as he typed something onto the keyboard. After a pause, he turned the laptop so I could see the screen. “This is what I wanted to avoid.”

  It was some entertainment gossip site. In the center of the page was a huge picture of the two of us. Just as Callie had said, we were strolling up Rodeo Drive, laughing at something, my ring glinting clearly in the bright Californian sun.

  I swallowed. “It’s not the first time I’ve had my picture taken, Thomas.”

  “This is just the first site I thought to open. How many websites do you think are running this picture?” Before I could respond, he typed something else. The screen changed as the new site loaded. This time it was a shot of just me, standing on the red carpet the night before in my black dress. Lizzie’s Cinderella Wedding, the caption read.

  I was starting to feel a little bit sick. But Thomas wasn’t done yet. He pulled the laptop back around to face him as he changed pages again. “We’re trending on Twitter. Half the posts on the official Darkness page are about us. Shall I check Tumblr, too? How about Facebook?”

  “Okay, I get it.”

  “You don’t. I didn’t keep us a secret because I didn’t want people to know. For God’s sake, Heidi has been bitching at me to do a big announcement for ages. Thinks it will be good for my publicity. I kept this a secret for you. Because I know how you feel about all of this.”

  I had a sudden flash of the fear in his eyes the night I’d had my first paparazzi run in. He’d begged me to stay with him that night, even sending a driver over to get Callie when I expressed a desire to spend the evening with her. He’d been terrified that I was going to leave him now that his career had taken off. I’d made it very clear to him that I had no interest in being in the spotlight, that I was uncomfortable with attention.

  Before I could respond, he was continuing. “Do you know how much creepy mail I get? Every day people send me letters—most of them are harmless, silly girls being silly. But sometimes… You think I’m crazy about them mentioning you? Knowing about you? Following you?”

  I felt a little sick at the thought. Of course, I didn’t want any of that, either. But what could we do about it now? The news was going to get out eventually, and now it had. I took a deep breath.

  “Thomas, I’d be lying if I said I was crazy about all of this.” I took the laptop from him and set it on the table in front of us. “It’s not my favorite part of your career. But I can deal with it a lot better than I used to. I’m a big girl.”

  He ran his hands through his messy hair. “What if you decide you’ve had enough of all of it?”

  “That’s not going to happen. Besides, how often is it an issue for me? You’re the one that has to deal with it all the time.”

  “Yeah, but I chose this path.”

  “And I chose you.”

  His face was hard to read for once—I couldn’t tell if that sentiment comforted him or made him feel worse. “Look.” I swung my leg over his so that I was sitting on his lap and brought my arms up around his neck. “I’m okay with it, I really am. I’m getting more used to it every time someone takes my picture.”

  “You saw how crazy it got in London,” he said, his voice rough.

  “London tabloids are worse than anywhere else,” I said. “It’s not like that everywhere.”

  He laughed without humor. “That hardly makes me feel better considering the fact that we’re moving to London.”

  I smiled sheepishly, realizing he had a point. “So we’ll hire me a bodyguard or something.” I widened my eyes, making my expression as hopeful as I could manage. “Ooh, we could get me someone really cute and sexy. Like a big blond Scandinavian dude that will protect me with his giant Nordic muscles.”

  “You are in so much trouble,” he said, his eyes flashing. But he was smiling, and that was all I cared about at that moment. Just as I moved in to kiss him, there was a knock on the door.

  “Who the bloody hell is that?” he muttered. “It’s practically the middle of the night.”

  “It’s after ten, dearest.” I kissed his nose. “I ordered you room service.”

  “You’re trying to get back on my good side through my stomach?” he asked, eyebrow raised. “Fine, I’ll eat the food, mainly because I’m starving. But don’t think I’m going to forget about the Scandinavian hottie.”

  I jumped up from his lap, laughing as I went to the door. “Oh, I have no plans to forget about him either.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  I felt like I had barely gotten home before it was time to leave for New York. Ciara’s assistant had called me with my travel itinerary before I left San Diego. I was due in New York less than two weeks from the day I returned home.

  I spent several days in a near state of panic over the trip. The media attention since the engagement news broke had been u
nlike anything I had experienced to that point. Photographers and cameramen camped outside of our hotel in San Diego. Though Heidi responded to the situation by hiring additional security, the paparazzi still followed us everywhere we went, swarming so badly at the airport that we both missed our flights. The police had to be called to get them off the property. I had expected things to relax at home, and while it was nowhere near as bad, it was still very creepy and off-putting to get calls from reporters at my parents’ house.

  “What if it’s like this in New York?” I asked Thomas over the phone, doing my best to keep the fear from my voice. “I mean, it’s one thing for me to move freely through Detroit without attracting attention, but there are actually paparazzi in New York. What if they find out I’m there?”

  “I’ll have Heidi’s office coordinate with Ciara.” He, too, seemed to be struggling to keep his voice steady. I could hear the stress behind his words. “They’ll do everything they can to hide the fact that you’re there.”

  “How?”

  “By planting stories that you’re somewhere else,” he explained. “It’s a common tactic. And Heidi’s office will be on alert in case anything does happen and will make sure you’re provided with security immediately.” He paused. “Maybe you should have someone, regardless.”

  I thought about making my way around the city was some stranger, someone like the guys who had been at our side in San Diego, some hulking, intimidating bodyguard I had never met. If I wanted to attract attention, that seemed like the best way to do it. “No,” I said quickly. “Let’s just try to keep it incognito unless we don’t have a choice.”

  He agreed, but I could tell he wasn’t thrilled about it.

  The day I was supposed to leave for New York, I was scurrying around my bedroom, taking things out of my bag before placing them right back in again a moment later. “Where is Thomas when I need him?” I mumbled to myself, staring down at the open bag with my hands on my hips. He had always calmed me down during packing, a process that I generally found to be stressful. Today was even worse, since I’d be going straight to London from New York and therefore needed to pack for a variety of climates and events. Including a meeting that could forever alter the entire course of my literary career—