“I’m glad. Your mom would not be happy with me otherwise.”
Callie hadn’t paid attention to the car across the street as it was, like all parked vehicles, covered with a thin layer of snow. She unlocked the door and closed it behind Maggie, both of them taking off their boots and putting coats and hats away. Walking in the living room, Callie wished she would have been more attentive and recognized David’s car. It was rather uncommon that he came by here by himself. Maggie was happy to see him, of course, running to hug him.
“Hey! How was the library—did you leave any books there?”
“Daddy, come on.” Maggie chided him for the silliness, but her smile was happy and genuine. So was his. Callie suppressed a sigh. Two cups sat on the table. David and Rebecca obviously had something to talk about. She just hoped it wasn’t connected to Dina’s early morning call. She wanted Rebecca with her in New York, for the sake of both of them.
“Callie,” he finally greeted her. “I’m sorry for intruding on you. I was just about to go.”
“You don’t have to, if there’s something—”
“It’s okay. We were done.” Rebecca’s smile was strained. “We’ll come by tomorrow afternoon to bring Maggie then.”
“You do that,” he said, ruffling Maggie’s hair. “Bye.”
They had lunch in relative quiet. Callie waited until Maggie was done and off to her room to start on her homework, until she asked.
“What was he doing here?” Rebecca looked startled, and Callie rephrased her question. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound like that. Is Dina all right?”
“Yeah. There’s something I need to talk to you about, though. Dina—” She shook her head with a rueful smile. “I had no idea this was so important to her. Would you mind if Dina came with us?”
“To New York?” Callie asked unnecessarily.
Well, in a way, she did mind. She had been craving a few days out of town with Rebecca, spending time with her alone. Callie had been looking forward to enjoying all the experiences—cultural, culinary, and more—that Autumn Leaves couldn’t offer, including the luxury of a posh hotel room. The Christmas vacation had been planned as a family trip. This wasn’t. However, she knew she had to do her part. Rebecca’s family was hers now, too, to some extent. Dina was still on the fence sometimes when it came to judging Callie. If she wanted to gain the girl’s trust, here was a golden opportunity.
“If she can take the school days off, it’s okay with me. We’ll buy a ticket and—”
“I’m afraid David already did.”
“Oh.” For the moment, Callie had nothing more to say.
“I know we said not this time. I told her no this morning. Obviously, the message didn’t get across.”
Callie did not say out loud what she was thinking. You could always give the ticket back.
“Come on, I said it’s okay.” She reached out to take Rebecca’s hand on the table. “Why David though? I would have paid for it.”
“Now why is everybody acting that way? I’m not starving and neither will one of my children. I’m sorry, Callie. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Rebecca didn’t sound angry, just tired and resigned, her slumped shoulders adding to the impression. It made feel Callie bad about her own jealous antics.
“It’s okay. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, but you know you can come to me with anything, right? That’s what we signed up for.”
“I know.” Rebecca’s tone was soft and apologetic. “One day, I’ll give you a reason why you put up with all of this.”
“You do. Every day.”
They held each other’s gaze, their fingers still linked on the table. At moments like this, it took a lot of effort and self-restraint to go back to work in your home office, when one shared look opened up a world of fantasy. Callie reminded herself that Dina was old enough to put up with a “do not disturb” sign for a significant part of the trip.
* * * *
They had to be at the airport around six thirty in the morning, about an hour drive from Autumn Leaves. There was a lot of packing left to do, including for Maggie’s week with David and Susan. Rebecca was quite sure Dina would not be all ready once they arrived at David’s new house. Of the two sisters, Maggie was clearly the neater one.
Callie, even though she was the most important person here, seemed surprisingly relaxed. Then again, she was familiar with this world. A couple of casual outfits, work-appropriate, a little black dress for the award gala—she packed like someone who was used to packing up and leaving without a fuss. Without attachment.
Rebecca looked over to the bed where she had narrowed down her own choice of dresses to three, of which none seemed to be appropriate for a rather relevant GBLT event. Of course, it wasn’t like she had any idea at all what would be appropriate.
“Either way, I’ll have to put up with a lot of women staring at you,” Callie predicted. “How about the red one?”
“Isn’t it too much? I don’t know…I don’t want to embarrass you.”
“How? By being beautiful?”
It was frustrating for Rebecca that she didn’t even know how to explain her concerns. She always considered herself fairly smart and educated, but even after coming out to practically the whole village, in church nonetheless, she felt painfully out of her league. A few things were for certain. She had chosen the truth, this new life, with Callie. Rebecca just didn’t know how to fit into a community she knew next to nothing about, nothing that wasn’t a cliché or from a book.
Callie sat beside her on the bed, leaning against her.
“See, you don’t have to worry about anything. It’s a gala. No one will look strangely at you for wearing a dress, if that’s what you mean. Well, they will look at you for sure, but that’s another story. Now remember what it was like when I first came to Autumn Leaves. I had no idea what I was doing, in this town, with all its implied rules. You made me feel comfortable, and I’m going to do the same for you. It won’t be that bad though. No one’s going to slap you.”
“Don’t remind me,” Rebecca said ruefully. The circle of close friends she’d relied on for many years had been falling apart over the past few months. One of them, her sister-in-law, had died in a car accident. Betty LaRue who had been her friend for the longest time in Autumn Leaves, had somehow succumbed to small-town bigotry. If she always been there, Rebecca hadn’t noticed before. She hadn’t been paying attention regarding a lot of things, as it seemed.
“Okay,” she said with a sigh. “The red one it is. Asha will be there, I assume?”
“Yeah. I’ll tell her, no red.”
Asha Malik, Callie’s editor and also ex, had been friendly the last time they’d met. At least there would be one familiar face even though Rebecca still found her intimidating.
“Thank you.”
“You’ll be fine. There’ll be just a bunch of people talking about books. Some of these people might even be interested in having a website built or overhauled for them. Most of all, though, I want to spend time with you. No,” she said when Rebecca was about to speak. “It’s okay that Dina will be there. She’s a big girl. We won’t have to watch her every minute of the day, or night. Especially not at night…”
They kissed, slowly and languidly at first. It seemed to Rebecca that she had spent so much time before, guiltily, fantasizing about Callie that the everyday life still felt unreal. Amazing that she could do this, lose herself in the touch and the pleasure that was still exciting and unfamiliar. She never even thought she would desire another woman. Rebecca had never imagined that a connection like this, not forged over years of life together, but instant, was even possible.
“Mom, did you see my yellow shirt with the—”
“Maggie. Sweetie. Which yellow shirt?” Rebecca straightened her sweater, mortified. There was no need to: Her daughter was more concerned with her wardrobe than the fact that she’d caught the two of them kissing.
“The one we bought on the vacation?”
Callie helped out. “I put it on your suitcase. You said you wanted to take it?”
Maggie smiled. “Thanks, Callie!” She left, obviously in no need of further explanation.
Rebecca let out a long sigh.
“I know,” Callie said with a little laugh. “I know.”
* * * *
They tried to get some sleep before the drive to the airport, with little success. Callie ruefully admitted to herself that routine would probably not come until after the New York trip was behind them. She would start a new book, and Rebecca would be looking for more clients. They’d be living the real life.
Dina had spent the night in Maggie’s room, which was more convenient than having David bring her very early in the morning. Callie agreed with that. She had the notion that Susan was feeling pretty much the same as she did, the awkwardness, the challenge of being the new woman. Not that they’d ever talk about it.
Dina brought a huge suitcase that hopefully would not cost extra, and her brand-new purple laptop as a carry-on. Competition, Callie thought. It happened to the best of divorced parents. David and Rebecca’s divorce wasn’t final yet though.
Whatever could be said about her life and the way it had turned out after she came to Autumn Leaves, one thing was for sure: It hadn’t been boring for a minute.
Callie was ready for a bit of boring, she reflected when the shrill sound of the alarm cut through the nightmare, jolting her awake. She hadn’t had one of those in a while, the kind that made her wake up gasping for air, her face wet with tears. Rebecca pulled her close without words. There was no need to ask. The content of those dreams always been the same from the first one. She could practically taste the wet earth, hear the phantom sound of laughter, memory fragments of the assault in the forest. All things considered, Callie had been lucky. Her subconscious was still working overtime.
“We don’t have time for this,” she said, impatient with herself. She had no use for the reminder. It had been four months. The real threat was gone from their lives, the perpetrators caught and convicted. Callie wanted the memory gone, too, but she wasn’t so naïve to think it was going to happen.
“Five minutes won’t make a difference,” Rebecca said, the warmth of her embrace calming Callie to the point where the ghost sensations finally vanished.
“I’ll drive. We can have something for breakfast at the airport.”
Whatever Rebecca’s own issues were, she made Callie feel safe, and that was something she never take for granted.
There was enough time left for a quick coffee. Dina came out of her room a few minutes later, her hair still wet from the shower.
“There’s no breakfast?”
Callie hid a smile behind her hand. If anything, it was the mundane things in life that helped make nightmares vanish.
David managed to get Dina a seat on the same plane, but since he’d booked it late, she wasn’t sitting next to Callie and Rebecca. The aisle seat in their row was occupied by a businessman in his early forties who was growing continuously irritated with Rebecca’s trips to her daughter a few rows behind them. Dina was sitting with a young mother and her toddler. Callie thought she seemed very much okay, so she laid a hand on Rebecca’s arm when she started to fidget once again.
“Dina is fine,” she said. “She likes flying. Besides, we’ll be taking off soon.” She could have sworn the flight attendant gave her a grateful smile at that. The guy in the aisle seat just snorted.
“Hey.” Callie glared at him. “Do you have kids?”
Chapter Two
Rebecca had been to New York a couple of times as a graduate student, and just last month. As much as she’d enjoyed the vacation, the city felt too big and intimidating to her. Callie had left it behind at some point, too, but for much more personal reasons. She was a lot more comfortable in the setting. For the upcoming days, she would have to be comfortable enough for the both of them.
“Whoa, Mom! Have you seen the bathtub?” Dina didn’t seem to mind spending a few nights on the fold-out couch in the living room of their suite. Rebecca thought the hotel staff was frowning a bit on the third person, and of course they would charge extra. Dina appeared to be happy though. Come to think of it, Rebecca hadn’t seen her this happy in a while, so she was willing to deal with little complications. Already, Dina had powered up her laptop to put up some pictures on her Facebook page.
“I have. It’s nice,” she said, opening the spacious wardrobe and starting to unpack. Rebecca had no idea why she was feeling this restless. They had enough time to get lunch, decompress a bit from being cramped in the plane seat, and get ready for the evening. Tomorrow would be an off day, and the day after that Callie had a radio interview in the morning and a signing session in the afternoon. Two days off, and a meeting with her publisher that Rebecca didn’t need to accompany her for. One appointment at a gay literary event, and they would go home the next morning.
Maybe it was Callie’s nightmare that was still occupying her mind, like a premonition. It was silly.
A sharp rap on the door startled her out of her thoughts. Rebecca went to answer, wondering whether the person in charge had second thoughts about Dina. However, it wasn’t somebody from the hotel staff waiting on the other side.
“Oh. Hi.”
“Hi,” Rebecca said, unwittingly having a moment of jealousy at the sight of Asha Malik. She was tall, dark-haired, and looking stunning in the crisp grey business suit, not a hair out of place in the French roll. Callie did have a type…kind of.
“Callie just went—”
Asha didn’t wait for an invitation.
“Nice place you have here,” she said. “I didn’t know you brought company.”
“Dina is my daughter,” Rebecca explained. She left it at that, certain that Asha wasn’t interested in the finer details.
“Smashing. You must be excited to be here. I’m Asha. All right, where’s my girl?”
Rebecca was very much aware of Dina’s disapproving look.
“Asha, come on. You could have given us another hour.” Callie, who’d just come out of the bathroom, shook her head, but she smiled. “Hey.” They hugged briefly. “There’s no change of plans I hope?”
“Of course not.” Asha made a face as she looked around. “I just came here to bathe in envy. You guys are all ready for the party tonight? I’m sorry, Dina. No underage kids. You knew that, right?”
“I can occupy myself,” Dina said tersely.
“We did some sightseeing last month,” Callie explained. “As for tonight, there’ll be room service for Dina.”
“Good. By the way, I like your new hairstyle, Cal. It’s cute.”
She was right about that. There had been times when Rebecca had secretly worried that Callie’s shorter shoulder-length cut made her look even younger. She didn’t need anything to emphasize the age difference between them.
Asha winked at Rebecca. “No red, right? I’m curious. I’ll see you guys later, then, and Callie, darling, this time you better win.”
Callie rolled her eyes. “Not like it’s up to me, you know.”
“Try anyway.” Asha leaned forward to kiss her cheek then waved to Dina and Rebecca. “Later, kids.”
When she was gone, Callie shook her head. “Welcome to New York, girls. Um, Dina…could you give us a few minutes? There’s something I have to talk about with your mom.”
Dina had already gone back to uploading pictures on her computer and mumbled her agreement.
Rebecca never had the time to ask. She had barely closed the door behind her when she found herself with her back against the wall, Callie’s hands all over her body, stealing underneath her shirt.
“Oh, come on, we can’t—”
“Don’t worry, Dina’s all sucked in by the social networks. We have time.” Callie’s voice was warm and seductive, making Rebecca’s resistance vanish into thin air. The gentle touch of fingertips brushing against her skin was enough to strike the match, figuratively speaking. She was feeli
ng quite hot, though, her knees weak. The sound of a zipper made her flinch, but Callie pushed her shirt further up, leaving a string of kisses over her belly. Then she straightened again, her hand sliding past the fabric of Rebecca’s slacks.
Her kiss was deep and just in time to stop the moan spilling from Rebecca’s lips.
Rebecca closed her eyes, letting herself drown in sensation.
* * * *
Callie once started out writing children’s books. She’d been single and not planning on having children, ever, but she enjoyed walking in that world. There was a responsibility in telling stories for children, in what you attempted to teach them. She wanted to created girl characters that were independent, kids who saw nothing wrong with having two moms. For a long time, she had very much kept to herself, until a friend of a friend introduced her to an organizer of a lesbian literary festival. Callie had never thought of her works to be political, but the more she made friends and got into discussions, she realized they were, and that it mattered to her.
Growing up with a liberal mother and friends, Callie had hardly been confronted with prejudice. In the present, she was meeting more and more people who had. After a long night of cocktails, dispute and frustration with the status quo, she had begun to think about an adult novel. If she wanted to do her part for a better world, writing a story was what she did best.
Her companion that night wholeheartedly agreed with her. Asha always prided herself in having an eye for talent.
Callie had pretended to be casual about the nomination. She never thought she’d be standing at the podium actually accepting one of the awards for her book series.
“I…I did not expect this.” She laughed nervously. “I bet that’s what everybody says, but it’s true, and I’m very grateful. I want to thank everyone who believed in me and made this possible. Thank you.”
Her eyes met Rebecca’s, and she was flashing back to the moment Rebecca had stood up in church. Some time before that, Betty LaRue who was once Rebecca’s friend, had yelled at Callie in her own home.
“I’ve often thought that what I do is not so relevant in comparison to…a lot of things. I’ve realized, though, that the stories we tell, provoke something. People can only listen and understand if we are visible to them and this is what our stories are for. They matter.” She hesitated just the tiniest bit. Callie knew that Rebecca was still trying to find her place. She didn’t want to rush her. She didn’t want to hold back ever again, either, now that she’d found something this perfect.
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