“Rebecca, I want to say…thank you for sharing my life.” She left then because her vision had become suspiciously blurry. Asha looked pleased.
“I’m so sorry,” Callie told Rebecca when she sat down next to her. “I couldn’t stop myself.”
Rebecca smiled. “No worries. I’d rather have everyone in the room know that you’re going home with me tonight.”
* * * *
“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Asha, clad in a long white robe, smiled triumphantly. “Now you know we don’t bite unless you invite us to.”
There’s still an “us” and a “you,” Rebecca thought. She was comfortable enough, though, to let the comment slide, and took the glass of wine that Asha offered her.
“Thanks.”
“You mean vampires, right?”
“Lucy. Always so funny.” Asha turned to the woman with the short blonde hair, giving her a jovial smile. “Rebecca, meet our head web designer. I’m sure you two have something to talk about. Lucy, Rebecca is the girl Callie couldn’t wait to show off. Now you know why. She’s also a freelance web designer.”
Rebecca decided that Asha owed her a lot more than one glass of wine.
“Really,” Lucy said. She seemed interested though. “How’s the competition? I hear you come from a smaller town. Can you make a living there?”
“I try,” Rebecca said. “I work mostly for small businesses. I haven’t done a lot in some time, because…” I was married. Technically, she still was. She took a sip of her wine. “Anyway, I’m sure it’s a lot less brutal than around here.”
“Maybe. I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else though. I was surprised when Callie left.”
“You know why she left,” Asha said.
“Of course.” Lucy gave Rebecca a quick speculative look as if trying to gauge if she knew too. “I’m sorry, there’s someone I’ve got to see. Have fun.”
“You know,” Asha said when Lucy was out of earshot, “I’m really happy to see you here.”
“You are?”
Asha shrugged. “Truth be told, I didn’t think you’d stay with Callie, and we both know she really needed a break. I was prepared to greatly dislike you, but now it seems like everything worked out for the better.”
“Thanks…I guess.”
Asha laughed. “You’re welcome…There she is. I think I can leave safely now.”
With Asha Malik’s blessing and the realization that no one thought of her as a fraud, like Rebecca had irrationally imagined, she could enjoy the rest of the evening.
When they returned to the hotel room close to 2:00 a.m., Dina was asleep as promised, the screen saver of her laptop glowing in the dark. Her files were password-protected though.
“Don’t even try,” Callie warned her. “She will never forgive you.”
“I would never…” Rebecca stopped short of telling a lie. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Dina, but the fact that she wasn’t there with her every day still made her feel guilty. Of course, Dina was only fifteen minutes away by bus, and she knew she could call at any time. Callie was probably right.
“I just want to protect her,” she admitted. “Both of them. I hope they would talk if something was wrong, but sometimes, I’m not so sure.”
“I don’t think you have to worry about either of them. Things might have been tougher on Dina, sure, but she’s smart and capable.”
“She wasn’t always easy on you.”
“I understand. There was a lot to adjust to.”
Rebecca cast another smile at her daughter, who looked so much younger in sleep, before she followed Callie into the bedroom.
* * * *
Since the latest trip included a lot of sightseeing, they spent the free morning shopping. Callie noticed with a bit of triumph that hitting the stores in New York would melt away even the last bit of hostility in a teenager. It was even better that she knew places to go that wouldn’t break the budget. Dina hadn’t stopped smiling, and for once Callie allowed herself the thought that one day, they might be the happy family she knew Rebecca was still dreaming of. In a way, it seemed impossible regarding their history, but the present moment was promising.
They had lunch in the hotel, where another surprise was waiting for them.
“Dina! What a nice surprise to see you again!”
Rebecca gave her a quizzical look. Callie just shrugged as Dina jumped up to greet the blonde fortyish woman who had just come in with her family, the equally blond husband and daughter, and the boy whose dark looks suggested he might be otherwise related. Both kids were in their teens, and they greeted Dina just as happily.
“Mom, come on over here!” Dina waved enthusiastically. “Do you remember Erin and her family? We met them at the museum!”
Give it to her to be as vague as possible. They’d seen many museums back in early January, and talked to a lot of people.
“Oh, yes, sure,” Rebecca said with some hesitation. “What a coincidence.”
Callie remembered now. They hadn’t spoken, but Dina had talked about the couple, their teenage daughter and Tomaso, who was an exchange student from Italy.
“It’s so cool to see you again!” Dina smiled at the group. Callie hadn’t missed the fact that she held the boy’s gaze a little bit longer.
“You too,” Erin said. “Maybe we could hang out this time? You’re here again with your folks?”
“Yeah, my mom and her…friend.”
“I got my license. We could drive around if your mom says it’s okay.”
“Mom?”
Erin’s mother smiled. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Lowman it is, right? Erin can be a little too enthusiastic at times—it’s not always easy to keep up. I hope though that there will be some time for the girls to reconnect. If Dina likes, she can come over to our house tomorrow.”
“That’s very nice of you.” Rebecca had finally found her speech. “Why don’t you give me your number—I’ll check with our schedule and we call you back?”
Callie studied the subtle exchange between mother and daughter, the slight frown on Dina’s face. Of course the schedule was the same it had been two weeks ago, but she couldn’t blame Rebecca for trying to buy some time. Callie also wondered how much of a coincidence the meeting was, and if the family had something to do with Dina’s insistence to come to New York with them. Truth be told, she wouldn’t mind Dina spending some time with a friend.
“That’s a good idea,” Erin’s mother agreed, taking a small notebook out of her purse. “Call me on my cell. I’m Monica, by the way, and this is my husband, Brad. Erin, my daughter, and Tomaso. He’s from Italy and staying with us for a year. It’s good you could come back to New York so soon. Of course there’s Facebook to keep in touch, but in person is always nicer.”
“True,” Rebecca said. Callie could tell she was very much caught off guard. It seemed like Dina had indeed kept in touch with Erin and, she assumed, Tomaso. Oh well, he was a good-looking teenager. At Dina’s age, even Callie might have given him a second glance.
“I take it you’re familiar with the city? If you need a few sightseeing tips, we could certainly help you out.”
“We’re fine, thank you. It’s a business trip this time.”
“Oh. Nice. I suppose I’ll let you go back to your lunch now and you call me later?”
“I’ll do that.”
They chose a corner table that was out of the family’s sight, and Rebecca sank into the booth with a sigh.
“Right. This is so nice. Dina, can you explain to me what just happened?”
“What?” Dina made a face. “I told you about Erin and Tomaso right after we met them last time. It’s not my fault you guys are always too busy making eyes at each other.”
“Dina.”
It was at moments like this that Callie wanted to disappear into a hole, which always made the fact hit home harder: She couldn’t quit this time. She’d made a promise, and she intended to keep it.
“It’s true! Erin and I
have been talking every day since we came back.”
“That’s why you knew they would be there today. You two set us up a little there.”
Dina gave Callie a heated glance.
“So what? Everything has changed. Why should I be the only one who can’t meet new people and have an exciting life? I’m fifteen!”
“Sure, but why the secrecy?” Callie continued as she was aware that the conversation was going into hazardous waters for Rebecca. Dina had seemed okay for quite some time, but obviously she was going through a rebelling phase. “You could have just told us. Of course you can meet new people. They sound pretty interesting.” She was seizing the opportunity and testing the girl. If Dina had a crush on the handsome Italian exchange student, maybe now was a good opportunity to find out. Her plan backfired completely.
“Doesn’t everybody have a secret? We didn’t know for a long time that Uncle Craig was a creep. You were sleeping together, and I’m not sure that Dad wasn’t seeing Susan even before that. So yeah, I made a new friend and I didn’t tell you right away. Big deal.”
“We’ll talk about this, but not on an empty stomach. Let’s eat first.” Rebecca’s smile was heartbreaking. Dina held her gaze, unimpressed.
“So?”
“Okay. You can go tomorrow, but I don’t want you to drive with her if there’s no adult around. How long has she had her driver’s license?”
Dina gave a sigh of exasperation. “Two weeks,” she mumbled into her water.
“It’s going to be okay,” Callie assured them both. “Who drives in New York anyway?”
* * * *
In the afternoon, all negotiations were done and Rebecca was left with a raging headache. She’d lain down on her side of the bed, Callie on the other reading a book she’d brought. When had it become so difficult to just talk to Dina? It was true—she had to put up with a lot of changes. There was the divorce, resulting in a new school and a new living environment. Dina hadn’t talked about it a lot, but the death of her aunt Maria the past November had hit her hard, too.
I know, but can’t you just work with me here? Maybe it was too much to ask for from a teenager. Those years were pretty scary even with nothing out of the ordinary.
She didn’t mind Dina making new friends. Monica and Brad Shelton were both school teachers. Erin was a little older than Dina, but seemed like a nice girl. What scared Rebecca was that each day now seemed to bring another surprise. Was it true she wasn’t paying enough attention? When she wasn’t around, did David and Susan pay attention? No, that wasn’t good enough. Where would it all lead? What would happen when Dina was confronted with all the choices and temptations that crept up on her on the verge of adulthood?
Callie closed the book and curled up against her back, reaching up to touch her temple, then starting a light massage.
“Stop it,” she said softly.
“Stop what?”
“You’re thinking too hard. You’re never going to get rid of that headache.”
That was easier said than done.
“I love you,” Rebecca whispered. Even when she was drawn into that dark unforgiving place where it seemed that it was all her, that she had done everything wrong, she couldn’t come up with anything else. There was no denying that following her heart had made life more complicated, for more people than just her, people she loved most. Everything else, however, would have been a terrible lie.
“I’m sorry. I should have never allowed Dina to come. I haven’t even told you how proud I am of you. You won, and I—”
I try, but I’m just so afraid I’m still not good enough for you.
Callie leaned over to kiss her, more of an answer than words could be.
The facts remained the same.
* * * *
The temperature had gone up a bit the next day, bringing wind and rain to wash away the last bits of white. That was probably the reason, more than her state of mind, why Rebecca’s headache persisted.
Dina had been in a conciliatory mood. Monica and Erin had come by and picked her up with the promise to bring her back after dinner. Callie was getting ready for her signing session.
“You don’t need to come,” she said. “I’ll just put this behind me quickly, and we’ll have room service for dinner later. Dina won’t be back before eight thirty or so. We can take our time.”
Rebecca had wanted to accompany her everywhere she was welcome to come along, but at the moment, the prospect of staying in the room with the curtains drawn was just too welcome. She cast a rueful look at the trophy sitting on the nightstand on Callie’s side.
“I don’t want to let you down.”
“I’ve done this before, and it won’t be the last time. Well, I hope.” She laughed a little. “It’s fine. I’d rather you get some rest.”
It had seemed like a good idea at the time. After Callie left, dressed in a red sweater, jeans, and boots that added two good inches to her height, Rebecca retreated back under the covers. She’d just wanted to close her eyes for a few minutes, but when she woke, it was after three. At least she felt better. Her mind had cleared as had the sky and she realized that by taking a cab, she could still make it to the bookstore. Callie had left earlier to meet with Asha and the store owner, but for the general public, the event didn’t start before four. Callie would read from her latest book and then take some time to sign copies.
Rebecca wanted to be there. She wanted to see Callie shine, of course, but truth be told, she was also curious. There had been a time when reading these books had seemed like a guilty, forbidden pleasure to her. She wanted to know who else was charmed by the gift of Callie Bryan. Most of all, she felt lonely all alone in the hotel room.
She put on dark slacks and a blouse and tied her hair back in a ponytail. It was actually kind of exciting. David’s job had never required her to be present at any event. Rebecca frowned at her mirror image. Maybe he just hadn’t wanted her to come? It was too late to dwell on these things anyway.
The bookstore was located on the ground floor of the building. Rebecca showed her ticket and went inside, choosing a seat on the side, towards the back. It was a perfect observation spot. The audience gathering consisted of women mostly, the majority of them couples. There were a handful of men, mostly accompanying other women, and, surprisingly, a few children. They brought books to sign. Rebecca thought ruefully that she owed Maggie for taking Dina but not her. She would have enjoyed being here, in a roomful of people excited to see Callie.
Rebecca found that she was excited too. She looked around, her gaze falling on a woman with shoulder-length blonde hair, reminding her of Maria. Her sister-in-law had been one of the few people who always stood by Rebecca and encouraged her, even after her separation from David. Maria had stood by her even knowing for certain who the guilty party was. Rebecca missed her greatly.
The woman next to her subject of study gave Rebecca a glare, and she averted her gaze, inwardly amused. Don’t worry, that’s not what I’m here for.
The store manager appeared on the small podium to welcome the audience and introduce the schedule for the afternoon.
“As you know, our company fully supports all our GBLT members and marriage equality, and we’re very proud of what has been achieved here in the state of New York. That is why we’ve chosen to highlight authors who make a contribution with monthly events. We’re starting today with award-winning writer Callie Bryan who not only gave us the Heart Fever series, but has written a number of children’s books with sensitivity for equality issues. She will read for us in a few minutes, but first let me welcome the head of the editorial team, Asha Malik.”
Rebecca barely caught any of Asha’s words as she went over what she’d just heard in her mind. The vote in New York didn’t have much of an impact in Autumn Leaves, but it could help change along in the long run, as this was one of the states everybody was looking to. She felt bad that she’d hardly ever paid attention to these issues as long as they did not concern her. Now, did
they really concern her? She’d just barely signed her divorce papers.
She loved Callie and wanted to be with her. However, getting married was not a decision she felt capable of making at the moment.
Then Asha left the stage to Callie who found herself with standing ovations. After all, the award-winning part had happened only the day before yesterday. Rebecca felt her eyes grow bright.
“Thank you so much,” Callie said with a brilliant smile. “I’m happy you all came out here today. You might know my new book came out two weeks ago. It’s the fifth in the Heart Fever series, and I hope you will be at least a little intrigued after I read you a part. On the other hand, I hope you already bought it and came here just to see me.”
Some laughter ensued. She seemed so at home there, in her element, that Rebecca asked herself once again what had possessed this young, beautiful woman to settle in a town like Autumn Leaves. Granted, if you wanted peaceful quiet surroundings for your children to grow up in, it was a perfect place. At least, it had been that to Rebecca, for a long time.
“Writing a book is not something that is done in a few days. From the beginning to this…” She held up her copy. “A lot happened in my life, and this story will always be associated with those moments. I hope it will accompany you just the same, and that there’ll be a lot of good memories for you. Now, let’s see where we left Vanessa and Sabine.”
* * * *
It would never cease to feel a little strange to read her own words to an audience who actually believed her characters. It was a good feeling, to be back, to realize what she’d accomplished. She’d found a home. In the beginning, her move to Autumn Leaves had felt more like a stop while being on the run. When she’d moved into her aunt’s house, Callie had no idea if she’d still be there the next year. She was certain now. It made coming here a lot easier. She’d just wished Rebecca could be there too.
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