The Good Provider

by Debra Salonen

  “I used to wish she were in research,” William admitted. “A friend in school’s parents were both doctors employed by some sort of pharmaceutical company. They were home every night. I was quite envious.”

  Father nodded, chuckling. “But did your chum ever sleep in a tent on the savannah? I bet not.”

  Or dispensed vaccines in Mumbai, breakfasted with monkeys in the Philippines, held the hand of a child dying of AIDS in some hellhole country that changed its name before William could memorize the previous one. “She helped a lot of people, didn’t she?”

  “More than we could possibly know.”

  “As did you,” he admitted. “You were too modest to brag, but Notty’s kept me abreast of the laws you helped bring about over the years. Civil rights. Human rights. Including the one about a patient’s right to die with dignity.”

  Father laughed softly. “I can honestly say I didn’t intend to be a test case of it. Life is a puzzle. Sometimes the pieces go together to form a picture completely different from what you’d envisioned.”

  “I agree,” William said, thinking about Daria and the blissful future he’d imagined with her. For that brief moment in time, he’d seen it so clearly. And now his slate of dreams was blank.

  “Are you happy, son? In California?” Father said the word as though it was the furthest, most exotic place on the planet. “I know you’re a success in your field. You have famous friends. Naughton is most impressed, although he pretends not to be for my sake.”

  William sat forward, hands woven together. “What do you mean? Why for your sake?”

  Father patted William’s hand. His skin was dry and slick, like parchment paper. Old people’s skin. You’re not that old, he almost cried.

  “Naughton has spent most his life protecting me from life’s slings and arrows. His way of returning the favor from when we were young.” He closed his eyes and smiled, no doubt recalling that earlier time. “You know the story.”

  “Tell it again. I’ve forgotten,” William lied.

  “Notty was small for his age—didn’t get a growth spurt until seventeen or so. Youngest son. His sisters used to dress him in bonnets. Children can be cruel. I rather enjoyed standing up to bullies. Fancied myself a hero. Probably what pushed me into public service.”

  Father opened his eyes and sighed. “But once I was elected, I became a public figure and, in the minds of some, an open target. Notty created a public fiction to keep our private lives private. We told you, though, when you were older.”

  “Dad, you know I’m proud of you, don’t you?” William asked. “My childhood was unconventional, but I’ve come to realize that different doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Don’t people always want what they can’t have? I wanted the kind of family my chums had. The kind I saw in the movies. The kind I created in my mind.”

  “Hollywood’s universal truth?”

  “In part. I also saw my friends leading normal lives.”

  “With normal parents,” Father put in, his tone rueful and a bit sad.

  William turned his hands palm up in a gesture of acceptance. “A good friend told me recently that dysfunctional is the new normal.”

  They both laughed.

  “Well, aren’t we a happy bunch,” a voice said from the doorway. “Hello, my son. Come give your old mum a hug.”

  William did as requested. Their embrace was the longest he could remember. She’d aged since their last visit. The lines around her mouth and eyes were more pronounced and her hair was considerably grayer, but the cut reminded him of Daria—spunky and unapologetic. “It’s so good to see you, dear. Thank you for coming,” she added softly, for his ears only.

  Notty walked in a few moments later carrying a large tray. The four of them sat round the fire, talking and sipping tea, until someone noticed that James had fallen asleep. “The drugs,” Notty said. “He’s in and out all day.”

  “And night,” Mum said, squeezing Notty’s hand tenderly.

  William understood then how amazing his family truly was. Unique in composition but strong and whole where it mattered. “I’ve fallen in love with a wonderful woman and managed to self-sabotage our relationship inside a fortnight,” he announced to his profound surprise. “What should I do?”

  Mum looked at Notty, who nodded. In unison, they said, “Grovel.”

  As his mother refilled his cup, she said, “Would this be Daria you’re talking about?”

  “Yes.”

  “Hmm…interesting. She’s not talking to you, but I received an e-mail from her a few minutes ago.”

  “From Daria?”

  She nodded. “She explained that she was a friend of my son’s and the two of you had been collaborating on a video of some sort. She copied my e-mail address from a post that Notty had sent you. Clever girl.”

  William felt a jangle of nerves collaborate in his belly. “That was it?”

  His mother smiled. “No, dear. She included an attachment.” She glanced toward his father’s desk. “I forwarded it to James’s computer. His is newer and has a larger screen. Shall we?” She motioned them to follow her.

  William hesitated. “But Father—”

  “Is awake,” James interjected. “Someone help me up. I want to see this. Whatever it is.”

  “A video of some sort, dear. From William’s girlfriend.”

  “She’s not— We broke up…and this can’t be the video. She told me I could view it then pass it along if I thought you’d want to see it.”

  Notty leaned over James, who was seated in the desk chair, to hit the play button. “Change of plan, I believe.”

  The opening image was a black-and-white image of his father at age five. A handsome, clear-eyed, smiling lad holding an obese spaniel. “Brigit,” Father cried. “Best dog I ever owned.”

  As “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” played softly in the background, the photos marched on through Father’s life, introducing his parents, an older brother long dead, schoolmates, and, of course, Naughton.

  “You really were a skinny kid,” William said, giving the man a slight poke with his elbow.

  “But look how lovely he was when your father and I met,” Laurel said. “So handsome and dashing. I would have been hard-pressed to pick between them if I hadn’t already fallen in love with your father.”

  The statement might have seemed odd given the fact both men were gay, had it not been the truth. And seeing a steady sequence of images placing the three friends together—along with a new baby—he understood. They truly loved each other—all of them.

  And they loved him, too. The same way Daria loved Miranda and Hailey. But those two adorable children could no more hold their parents’ marriage together than William had been able to make his family conform to some cinematic ideal. And yet, that’s what William had tried to do. Every time he went to some far-off land to see his mother, he would beg her to come home. And every weekend that his father was in residence, William would try to make him act like other fathers.

  As he watched the slide show move forward, he could almost hear Daria’s voice in his head, saying, “There’s that damn pedestal again.” He shook his head in wonder. He had a family. An amazing family. He simply never appreciated it because he was too busy trying to make it perfect.

  His love for Daria expanded exponentially. He would grovel, beg, do whatever penance she asked of him for however long it took to convince her that their story was bigger than its rocky beginning.

  “Daria has an excellent eye for storytelling,” Father said. “This is a life I would be proud to live. And I did.” He looked at William, his eyes glistening. “How lucky is that?”

  William had no words, but his heart had never felt as full. He watched the rest of the video in silence, holding his mother when she started to cry. Notty tried his best to keep the moment from becoming too maudlin by interjecting comments such as, “Look, James, you had hair then,” and, “Didn’t I warn you that those striped pants would come back to haunt you?”


  The video ended with an image William couldn’t remember posing for, at first. Then he recognized the oak tree behind this house. His graduation from college. William and his mother stood, arms linked, with the two men on either side of them.

  “I remember this day so clearly. We were all so proud of you, William,” his mother said, kissing his cheek.

  “Top of your class, of course,” Father added. “With your bright future opening up before you.”

  William swallowed the lump in his throat. “But I let you down. I’m not a doctor. Or a lawyer. Or a glorified paper pusher,” he joked. They all knew Naughton was much, much more.

  The three of them looked at each other and broke out laughing. “Is that truly what you think? That we’re in any way disappointed in you, darling?” his mother asked.

  Father looked at William. “Son, we’ve made our share of mistakes, singularly and as a collective, trying to raise a child we all loved. If we somehow made you believe that we harbored certain ambitions for you, I apologize. All we ever wanted for you was to be happy.”

  Notty and Mum nodded in agreement.

  William didn’t need to say anything—to them. But there was one person he couldn’t wait to call.

  “Can we watch it again?” Mum asked.

  “Of course, but, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to call the movie’s director and say thank you.”

  “Tell her we love it,” Father said.

  “Tell her we want to meet her,” Mum said.

  “Tell her you apologize for whatever you did and that she was right. Women love to be right,” Notty put in.

  “Because we usually are.”

  That, of course, set off a great debate which made William shake his head and chuckle. He was still smiling when he reached his room, but his expression turned serious when he pulled up Daria’s number on his phone. She’d sent this video without running it past him for a reason. In contract talks, this sort of overture meant negotiations were still on the table. Or was this Daria’s classy way of saying goodbye?

  He held his breath as he waited for the call to go through.

  She picked up right away, even though it was very, very early in California. “William. I was hoping you’d call.”

  “Your video is amazing. Not a dry eye in the house. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  There was a momentary pause, then they both spoke at once.

  “I’m so sorry, William.”

  “I’m such an idiot, Daria.”

  William’s heart filled with hope. “I love you, Daria. I truly, honestly, completely love you. And, some day, when all the dust from your divorce has settled and you’re ready to try again—”

  She interrupted him. “I’m up early this morning packing and cleaning and getting ready for a giant yard sale, William. I put my house on the market the Monday after I got back from our romantic getaway. I figure it will take months to sell given the current economic climate, so I’d better start right away.”

  “You’re moving?”

  “Yes.”

  “Where to?”

  “I haven’t figured that out yet. In fact, I was hoping you might help me. Is there a chance you could do me a huge favor and pick up my grandfather in South Dakota on your way home? Any time will work for him. We’re totally flexible.”

  “Of course. I’d be glad to. Is Cal coming out to help you move?”

  “Actually, we’re talking about moving together. He wants to winter in California with me and the girls, and in the summer, we’ll go to the Black Hills. I was inspired by your parents’ story, William. I loved how they weren’t limited by society’s confines or simple geography. They made the family that worked for them. I want to do that, too.”

  “Is there a place in that family for me?”

  “The answer is, bet on it.”

  He coughed. “What?”

  She laughed. “I’ll explain when I see you. And, William, I can’t wait to see you. I was such a boob at the B and B. Talk about panic attack. I almost turned around halfway home, but then I decided maybe I was smart to give us some space. Dare I say I was under the influence of magazine therapists?”

  Her tone was so Daria he couldn’t help but feel hopeful. “And now you’re not?”

  “Exactly. I’ve put my faith in a much higher power.” She laughed again. “I’ll tell you all about it when I see you. I can’t wait. But please, spend as much time as you can with your father. Is everything okay?”

  “Amazing. And you’ll see me sooner than you think. I’ve had to change my plans slightly because I have a client who needs me.” He couldn’t apologize for doing what he did best. After all, he was his parents’ son. And he helped people. It’s what he did. “But I’ve promised Father to return in a few weeks. When is Miranda and Hailey’s spring break? Maybe we could bring the girls over at the same time.”

  Daria sniffled softly. “William, that’s so sweet. I would love for them to meet your parents. We’ll talk about it when I see you.”

  They pinpointed exactly when that would be so she could alert Cal and make her plans, then he hung up. But he called her right back.

  “Did I remember to tell you I love you, Daria?”

  “You did. And although I’d rather say this in person, face-to-face, I love you, too.”

  Face-to-face. He liked the sound of that.

  FOUR DAYS LATER, William sat across from her in the passenger seating of his plane. He’d hired Lucas Hopper to be his copilot again so he and Daria could have some time alone on the last leg of their flight. He was jetlagged and emotionally spent. Saying goodbye to his parents hadn’t been easy, but Father promised to keep on fighting so he could meet Daria and her daughters in April, so he also felt energized and hopeful.

  “Alone at last,” he said, trying to get comfortable as the plane taxied to take off.

  “You mean except for Lucas,” she said, fussing with her seat belt.

  “Don’t mind him. He’s blissfully content to listen to whatever comes across his noise-canceling headset,” William told her. “But I picked the rear seats for a bit more privacy.”

  She let her head fall back against the plush upholstery. “It’s about time, isn’t it?”

  The chaos surrounding their meeting a few hours earlier hadn’t allowed either of them a chance to say what most needed to be said. William’s attention had been swallowed up by Hailey, who explained that she was the one who’d fixed things between him and her mommy. “Asking the Magic 8 Ball was my idea,” she’d bragged.

  That had been William’s first clue to Daria’s strange comment about betting on them as a couple.

  Miranda, not to be outdone, had described the scene in detail. “Mom was so sad after she came home from your date that Hailey and I decided you were to blame. But when we asked the Magic 8 Ball if you were to blame, it said no. So we asked Mom and she said the reason she came home early was because she was confused and thought it was too soon to fall in love again.”

  “So you consulted a higher power,” William had guessed.

  He approved of the end result, but his nerves went haywire when he thought about his fate hanging on a silly kid’s game. But then he realized that wasn’t the case. Daria, good mother that she was, simply let her daughters participate in a decision she’d already made.

  “So your folks liked the video?” Daria asked over the revving of the engine. “They sent me the most gorgeous bouquet and a ridiculously over-the-top gift card to Macy’s as a thank-you.”

  The latter had been Notty’s idea. “New frocks for the girls when they come to visit,” he’d said.

  “My parents are madly in love with you. If you think Father’s health improved knowing I was coming to visit, you should see what the possibility of meeting you three did for him. He even decided to try the clinical trial Mum was advocating.”

  Her jaw dropped. “Really?”

  He nodded.

  “But…” she hesitated. “Did you t
ell them about me? The real me, not that girl on the pedestal me? Divorced, single mom, nearly homeless—” She put up a finger to add, “And let’s not forget that I invited my ninety-year-old grandfather to move in with me.”

  He glanced out the window as the plane began to level out and released the tension on his seat belt. “Daria, I promise, no more pedestals. If you catch me trying to put you on one, you can hit me over the head with it. And face it, when it comes to family craziness, you’ll never win. Two gay fathers and a crusader mother trumps anything you can do. Did I mention Mum is opening a free clinic in our old carriage house?”

  Daria shook her head, marveling at the changes she saw in William. He seemed lighter, freer. As if releasing whatever grudges or sense of failure had weighted him down had opened new windows, allowing him to see views of life he’d missed before. “How did it go with your client?”

  He shook his head and sighed. “It didn’t. JoE refused to listen to me. He decided his career was more important than his recovery. He checked out of rehab against my advice and doctor’s orders and a court edict. Hopefully he’ll get arrested before he ODs.”

  She made a small sound of horror.

  “I know that sounds callous, but I realize now that, like Bianca, he’s going to make his own mistakes. This time, though, I’m not turning off my phone. If he calls, I’ll be there for him.”

  She reached out and took his hand. “You’ll be there for him even if he doesn’t call. That’s one of the things I love most about you.”

  He leaned over to kiss her. “Thanks.” He glanced toward the nose of the plane. “I’ll try to thank you properly when we truly are alone. Now, tell me about your plans.”

  “I decided I can’t stay in Fresno. Too many memories. The girls and I want to make a fresh start. I feel strongly about staying in California so Bruce can see Hailey and Miranda on a regular basis, but I also know Cal is at a point in his life where he needs family. Spending our summers in South Dakota seemed like a compromise we could all live with.”