Kiss, Kiss Killian
Page 23
He rubbed his knuckle gently under my left eye. His stare lingered. “Don’t cry, Lucy. It won’t hurt for long. You’ll forget me before you know it. You’ll find another poor devil to save.”
“No!”
“Ssh. It’ll get better. I promise. You’ll thank God it turned out this way. You’ll see.”
Agony ripped a hole in my emotions, leaving my insides to fall out.
“Please don’t leave me, Killian. Please don’t.”
Killian’s expression crumpled before returning to its typical haughty smirk. “Where’s your dignity, Lucy? You’re better than this.”
I shook my head, fingers digging into his lapels. Once I let go he was gone. Forever. I couldn’t let that happen. Not when I’d just discovered my love for him.
Life couldn’t be this cruel, but it was.
Killian carefully pried my fingers off his coat. His parting words would haunt me for months.
“Close your eyes, Lucy, and count to ten. Do this for me if you really want to help.”
He didn’t want me.
He didn’t feel for me the way I did for him.
He couldn’t, not if he could walk away so easily.
It’s over.
No. That wasn’t true. It never really began.
Biting my lip, I choked on my sobs. It always ended like this. I wasn’t enough. No matter how much I loved someone, they didn’t love me back the way I needed.
“Lucy, please. Don’t cry. Not over this.”
I fell in love and broke my heart all within the day. This only proved what I’d known since I was a little girl—some people were destined to have a normal, happy life. Others were destined to suffer.
Killian was the instrument to show me which kind I was.
“Lucy, close your eyes for me. Do this for me. Please.”
I wiped my nose with my sleeve. Rolling my shoulders back, I grated out, “No. I won’t play another stupid game with you and I won’t watch you leave.”
Killian flinched.
Last chance. Say you’ll stay. Say you’ll let me help you. Say you love me a little…
Seconds ticked by to zero. I had my answer.
“All right. You’ve made your choice and now I’ve made mine. I hope you find what you’re looking for, wherever that ends up being. Goodbye, Killian King.”
Turning around, I steadily walked back. I pretended I didn’t hear him call my name. I also pretended his voice didn’t break at the end. I just concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other, just as I’d always done it.
Alone.
41
KILLIAN
Watching Lucy leave killed me. Yet, I felt so much pride for her that I couldn’t tear my eyes away.
How could two opposing emotions have such control over my entire being?
She wasn’t the first girl to cry over me, but right now, I wanted her to be the last.
Austria and all that waited there for me faded into a hum. Instead, Lucy’s lovely voice rose to prominence.
“Listen up. I’m going to be your companion, Killian King, whether you like it or not. I suggest you figure out a way to like it because you will be seeing me for as long as it takes. I’ve given my word to your grandfather and it’s as good as gold, understand?”
…
“Baby, mi amor, don’t be mad at me. I just had to have these. You said you’d get me whatever I wanted for my birthday. And I want this. I’ll make it up to you…promise.”
…
“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you, Killian. I really wanted to, more than anything actually.”
I took a step towards Lucy. I couldn’t go back to King and Austria awaited me like a prison sentence. There was nothing but my conscience to stop me from throwing it all to fate and reaching for Lucy.
She wanted me. Not what I could give her, not the promise of what I’d become, but me.
Lucy reached the door.
Look back at me. Do it and I’ll tell Prince Von Hügel to fuck off.
We’d catch the first flight out of town. I’d show Lucy the world. We’d gamble in the Riviera, slow dance in front of the Parthenon, and watch the moon rise over Stonehenge.
Lucy reached for the doorknob, head down and shoulders hunched. She stood still. I waited, lips moving in a silent plea.
Just give me another chance. Another reason.
My goddess denied me. She opened the door and firmly closed it behind her.
“What I can tell you is Mr. Killian is going to be an even greater man once he’s able to put all this behind him. You’ll see.”
I saw then what I’d already known. I wasn’t worthy of Lucy. Not yet.
Her word was gold, impossible to tarnish and lasting a lifetime.
Mine was fire, destructive and destined to die out.
I’d see things through in Austria. My father wouldn’t destroy me for the second time. I’d still be me—just greater.
And with that I’d solve the puzzle as to why Lucy Martin mattered so much when she should’ve never mattered at all.
Turning away from the bodega, I trekked back to the vehicle idling by the curb. Once I climbed inside, I gave my instructions clearly. Precisely and without the frustration of before.
“It’s time to give the devil his due. To the airport, Jorge.”
Wait for me, Lucy. I’ll come back for you.
Killian and Lucy’s love story continues in Lie, Lie Killian
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ABOUT ANNA ANTONIA
Anna is a lover of all things dark and passionate. Living in the Southeastern United States, she enjoys antiquing, DIY thrift store finds, sedate hiking along trails, and spending time with her family and menagerie of pets. Being the only girl in a household full of men makes it hard to always be a lady, but she gives it a good old college try.
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