Proof

by Craze, Chelle C.

  “Thank you,” I told him as we entered the formal and he gave my fingers a squeeze within his own. Cal had always been the one to help me through rough times. Even when he wasn’t physically there, his memories kept me afloat. When the weight of everything else tried its damnedest to drown me, he unknowingly had been my lifesaver—he still was.

  Twenty-Nine

  Jaci

  Never in my life had I thought it possible to have a future that held happiness. Yet, here we were. Regardless of the heartache and death that was our beginning and middle, this was our future. I turned my head to let him know I felt the same and took my hand off the wheel to find his. For the first time in my life, I was going to actually just let life happen.

  “I love you, Jaci,” he admitted what we’d both been hinting around for weeks, but neither of us had actually said.

  “I love you, too,” I answered him, and for the second time in my life, I gave myself to that same little freckled-face boy who had confused my entire life. I’d spent the better part of my life thinking I was colorblind because of him, and I planned to spend the rest of it loving him.

  As we came to a complete halt at the stop sign, he smiled, and for the first time in my life, my heart knew true happiness. We would rise together from the ashes and defeat any problem we faced as one.

  Cal said my name in a panic-stricken voice, and it was undeniable in his voice. Something was wrong. It was horribly wrong. My brain registered what was happening long before my eyes had the chance to let realization overtake me. The headlights approaching my side were too close, coming at us too fast. I’d been running my entire life, but nothing prepared me for this moment. Death was one thing we couldn’t run from. It wasn’t possible to outrun something that was free of limits. Regardless of where you were in your life, in your opinion, beginning, middle, or end, death found you, claiming its chilling end. We were going to die. There was no escape this time.

  I screamed his name as the horrific pain ripped through my entire body and his grip tightened around my fingers.

  “Just close your eyes.” He somehow found the strength to tell me, and I listened, knowing we’d finally found what each of us had been searching for. Each other. The time we’d wasted to come to that revelation no longer mattered. It was in the last seconds of life you truly understood purpose.

  This was the first time I truly let myself feel, and it was the most unconventional time to breathe any sensation into my body. The tears I’d refused for years sprang free, but their inspiration wasn’t for the obvious reason. Most would weep in their last moments at the mere awareness this would be their remaining breaths. My reasons weren’t completely different, but the main cause wasn’t for me. This was the moment I never knew I’d grieve. This was the moment I truly lost him as I lost myself.

  As the steel of our car caved from the impact and collided with my body, I cried out his name one last time, letting the force of the blow pull me further into helplessness. Into darkness.

  I know what you’re thinking. What in the actual fuck? Right? I was, too.

  There were times in life you questioned things, and sometimes you didn’t want to know the answer.

  Thirty

  Jaci

  Cal and I painted stars, and we’d been painting stars for what seemed like weeks now. In reality, I had no clue how long we’d been painting, but I was tired and just wanted to rest. Although I couldn’t see him, I knew it was his hands around me, holding me still when I wanted nothing more than to float away. I wasn’t sure where I was going or where I was, but his voice kept telling me to “Hang in there and be strong,” so I listened. I’d always been stubborn, but I faintly remembered I was trying something new. It was called compromise because I thought that’s what people in love did, and I definitely loved him.

  Thirty-One

  Cal

  When all of our peers were sitting in classrooms, Jaci and I were in the hospital. I refused to leave her side, even though my doctors advised me to go home and rest once they released me with a cast on my leg. Jaci was in a coma, and seeing as there was no one to legally speak for her, the hospital appointed me as a surrogate, which allowed me to speak on her behalf. Only, I didn’t know what her wishes were, so I couldn’t respect them. The only thing I was certain of was I’d just barely gotten her back, and I refused to let her go again.

  I never thought she’d resemble the girl I used to know, and in some ways she never would, but I knew I wasn’t who I was when we first met. She made me stronger, and without her, I didn’t know how to survive.

  “Please, Jaci,” I pleaded with her for the thousandth or millionth time. Really, I had no idea. “I can be strong enough for both of us for the rest of our lives, but you have to fight. Please, fight.” Tears slid down my cheeks and past my jawline, but she didn’t respond. I begged God to let me switch places with her, but it never happened. I didn’t blame Him, though, because I’d asked something impossible of Him. I whispered a silent prayer for Him to help her because I didn’t know how.

  The monitors continued to beep, and I talked to her about anything and everything that crossed my mind because the doctors said she could hear me.

  “Dax is gay. Did you know that? Of course, you did,” I cursed her for keeping that from me, but we both were notorious for keeping other people’s secrets. I wasn’t actually sure she was aware he was gay, but I had a pretty good idea that whatever Dax knew, Jaci knew, too. After they’d broken up, they became closer than they ever were while they were a couple.

  I read books to her to pass the time, but I didn’t know which were her favorite, so I read them all. Every single book that we salvaged from her house. Some earned me pretty interesting looks from the hospital staff, as they belonged to Jaci’s mom. They were dedicated to her, so I only assumed the authors were her personal friends.

  The days quickly faded into a week, and then one week led into another. From what the paperwork said the staff had given me, most comas lasted less than a month, but some people never woke up from one. I wasn’t giving up, though.

  My last hurrah was paintbrushes. I started making tiny little stars on her broken bones, both wrists and her left leg. When those areas were full, I just painted on any space of her skin that wasn’t bruised, but that wasn’t much, so I painted over the bruises, too.

  The night shift nurse, Cari, was the only one in and out of the room, and I was thankful for her. She’d been a regular provider for Jaci, and she said at this point, we could try anything.

  Thirty-Two

  Jaci

  “It tickles,” I tried to tell Cal, but some asshole had shoved a hose down my throat. Talking wasn’t exactly easy at the moment, so I frantically pulled at it and my eyes jetted open.

  “She’s awake!” Cal yelled and pulled my hands away from my face and then proceeded to kiss my forehead and then my hands he held. I wasn’t sure what was happening, and I couldn’t ask, so I widened my eyes, hoping Cal would explain something.

  “We were in an accident, and you’re okay. That’s all that matters.”

  Well, that explained it partly, but how long had I been here? Why didn’t someone wake me up? How long had I been asleep? The longer I was awake, the more questions I had, and then my memory slowly started to regain. I remembered the crash and what had happened to us.

  Nurses rushed into the room and ushered Cal out of the way as they each took turns shining lights in my eyes and sticking their stethoscopes against various parts of my body. I had no idea what they were trying to hear, so I listened for it, too. I didn’t hear anything, so I decided they were crazy and moved my shoulders the best I could to shrug and rolled my eyes at these people.

  I’m not sure why it took rolling my eyes to focus them because I thought they were already, but they weren’t. In the next seconds, I noticed I was covered in stars. Cal must have been here with me, just like he promised he would. You see, we never actually lost one another, just lost our way a few times.

 
We were the denominator in each other’s life, never having a chance of being otherwise. It was clear in this moment, we’d always be incomplete without the other. Maybe we always had been. Certain people passed through life without ever finding the person capable of making them lesser, given the path the two of you chose to walk. The same person was responsible of boundless possibilities. That person might very well be the key to unlocking your version of heaven. Cal was my missing link to the chain I was unaware I wore around my soul. I wasn’t sure I’d ever reach the pleasant of the two planes in purgatory, truthfully. He may have been my only chance of escaping hell on Earth, even if most of it resided in my mind. Nurses and doctors took turns at my bedside and removed the nagging tube from my throat. I was more than happy to get rid of it, but didn’t welcome the soreness it left lingering behind in its place. It took a while for everyone to get over the excitement of my eyes opening. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been out, but me being awake had never brought so many people happiness. The thing was, although I was thankful for everything they had done, I couldn’t wait for them to leave the room.

  After the last person left, Cal dropped the bedrail and sat beside me. “Hi,” he softly said, running his finger across my cheek, and the familiar sexy smirk I loved appeared.

  My eyes zeroed in on his mouth and my cheeks filled with heat. I didn’t know if anyone else in the world was lucky enough to have someone like Cal, but I couldn’t thank God enough for him.

  With him, I crossed my own lines and broke every damn rule I had made for myself. For Cal, I let go of all inhibitions and just lived in the moment. He was one of the very few people I needed, and perhaps that fact had always been a bold one in my head, but I’d refused to see it. When the importance of loving someone was always placed on the back burner, it was difficult to find truth in it all. It was easier to welcome blindness. Cal had once convinced me I was colorblind, which wasn’t entirely untrue.

  With his hands in my hair and our lips moving in sequence, I saw all the colors of the world.

  Bonus Chapter

  Cal

  “Are you ready?” Jaci asked, keeping her hands over my eyes as she carefully led us down the stairs to my studio.

  “I am,” I breathlessly said, because having her body this close to mine was excruciating. We’d done plenty of things, but never actually had sex. I wasn’t pressuring her, but I thought she was trying to make me the first man to die of blue balls.

  Something crinkled beneath my foot, and I paused. “What in the hell?”

  “You’ll like it, I swear,” she reassured me and then told me I could look, releasing her hands from my face. The floor was covered with construction paper and she’d set out a few smaller cans of paint here and there, but honestly, the paint consistency looked off. She’d probably accidentally grabbed some of my older paint, but I didn’t recognize the containers.

  “What are you up to?” I asked with a smirk playing on my lips.

  “I thought we could paint something other than stars tonight.” She winked and held up a container for me to read. It was then I realized it was body paint. Without giving me a chance to agree or disagree, she took my hand and pulled me along with her, just as I had her the first day we met.

  That was the thing about us. When one couldn’t make a sound decision, the other had always been there to make it. Some called us pushy, and others called us stubborn. I was just happy to be us, regardless of the title. It didn’t matter what anyone called me as long as Jaci was included.

  My entire life I’d been searching for something. Some type of evidence that I was supposed to be on this planet. Jaci was my proof.

  Acknowledgments

  Thank you to everyone who has made this publication possible.

  To the readers, bloggers, fellow authors, and everyone in the book community: Thank you for letting me be a part of our ever-changing world. I know things have been grim recently, but it’ll pass and soon flourish into something amazing like it always does.

  Harmony: Thank you for always being my sunshine on the days that seem to have no sun. You’ll always be my funny little Baby Bug. You make life worth living every day. Even the days that are hard!

  Paige Maroney Smith: Thank you for always understanding life can get in the way and pushing to make my work the best it can be. I’ve told you you’re a blessing for many years, and if I’ve never said those words, I’m saying them now.

  To my street team, Crazed Lunatics: Thank you for every share, like, word of encouragement, and for just being you.

  Melissa Pascoe: Thank you again for answering my strange questions at all hours of the night and being my go-to person for weird.

  Alex Grayson: I just had to put your name in here because what sort of wife would I be if I didn’t?

  Michelle “Holly” Schwartz: I love you from the bottom of my heart! Remember, keep your head high and your spirit on fire.

  Gretchen “G” Anderson: Thank you for the countless things I’ll never remember to mention. Just know I appreciate everything you do.

  Heather Amy: Girl, you’re always so cheerful and supportive. Thank you for always being there and having a smile on your face! It’s contagious.

  Myra Espino: Thank you for always helping, despite the time change, and me never knowing what time it actually is for you. You're such an amazing person!

  Derek, Jaime, Reagan, Steph, and Cheri: Thank you for being my brand of weird, and even when you’re not, you all were troopers and still made this awkward kid feel loved.

  Lora “Momma L” Scarbrough: Thank you for being as blunt as I am and always having my back, because you know I always have yours.

  My husband, N.C.: I’m not writing mushy stuff because you hate it. I’m writing it because I love you, and the older we grow, the more I fall for you. Seeing you as a daddy was something I never thought would happen, and now it has given you some of the qualities I love the most about you. Harmony and I are blessed to have you. We appreciate everything you do and how hard you work so we can spend our days together at home.

  Letha “Sister” Wilkinson: Did you just call to chew in my ear? Yes, we are going to be “those” old sisters, but that thought makes me happy. I never thought I’d find a best friend in my older sister, but I have. Best adult female friend. Harmony gets number one spot, and her daddy gets number two, but it’s the male…Never mind. Thank you for being a nanny to my baby, a sister to me, and loving me with all you have. Even when you want to tell me to quit calling and you know it won’t do a bit of good, so you don’t do it.

  Shannon White: Once again, you’ve saved and helped me make sense of my crazy thoughts! Thank you so much for all of your help. I’m pretty sure a lot of this would have been gibberish without you. I can’t wait until Nashville when I can squeeze your face!

  About the Author

  A native West Virginian, Chelle has always been a dreamer. She spent her time growing up writing songs, poetry, screenplays, ad movie scripts. She never thought about writing a book until she got older. Now, Chelle likes to spend her time being creative by drawing, singing, dancing, writing, and enjoying life with her daughter. True to her last name, she lives life to the fullest, but can be described as a little crazy. She finds peace and comfort in the fictional characters residing within her mind.

  Her greatest blessings and inspirations are her husband and daughter.

  Website: http://chelleccraze.wixsite.com/chelleccraze

  Blog: http://chelleccraze.blogspot.com/

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  Twitter: https://twitter.com/ChelleCCraze

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