Too Hot to Handle

by Jennifer Bernard

  Maybe Cassie shouldn’t call Kevin yet. Maybe her job here was to help Holly get to the point where she told her dad herself. “Do you still have any of the money?”

  Holly stuck out her bare feet and splayed her toes apart. They were painted a deep indigo blue. “No, it’s all gone…but I got an awesome pedicure,” she said gloomily. “I should have told someone as soon as the other girls took the cash from me, but I was too chicken-shit. I want to pay it back. I’ll do anything the director wants. I’m so afraid of what she’s going to say. She’s going to think I’m such a loser!” She burst into tears and lowered her forehead onto her knees. For a while, Cassie just patted her back while she sobbed.

  She didn’t really know what to say to make Holly feel better. Maybe there wasn’t anything. The girl had screwed up in a big way, and she’d have to pay the price.

  “Did you know that the prefrontal cortex doesn’t fully develop until the age of twenty-five or so? That’s the part of the brain in charge of making good decisions. I looked it up once, when I was wondering what possessed me to leave Jupiter Point in such a rush.”

  Holly’s shoulders quaked from her sobbing.

  “Sometimes I think mine could still use some work, actually. But the point is, teenagers are famous for their bad decisions. That’s why they don’t go to jail like adults. I’m not implying jail’s what’s in store for you,” she added quickly when she felt Holly tense. “I don’t know for sure, but it most likely depends on whether or not the observatory wants to press charges.”

  “So if I work something out with them, like I mop the bathroom floors for the next year—I mean, those floors get gross, especially on school tour days—you think maybe they won’t send me to juvie?”

  The wobble in her voice tugged at Cassie’s heart. “I highly doubt you’ll go to juvie. This is your first offense, right?”

  “Of course!” She scrubbed tears off her face. “Honestly, I’m not even that afraid of jail. I’m more afraid of what my dad’s going to think. What if he…” She broke off, digging her teeth into her lower lip with so much force Cassie was afraid she’d break the skin.

  “What if he what?”

  “What if he sends me back to my mom?” Tears flowed down her cheeks in a frantic stream. “I love my mom but I can’t live with her, and I don’t even think she wants me to. But I know my dad’s going to think this is totally a Mom-like thing to do. Which I guess it is. But that doesn’t mean I should be with her, does it?”

  “Oh honey.” Cassie slung an arm around her shoulders and hugged her close. “I think you should trust your father. That’s what I think. He loves you, and no crazy teenage spa stunt is going to change that.”

  “But what if it does? I mean, he could just go back to flying planes and traveling around the world being a hotshot pilot. He doesn’t have to be stuck here with me. His daughter, the juvenile delinquent.”

  Cassie bit back a laugh, even though Holly’s teenage exaggeration made her smile. She’d been like that too. Everything had seemed like the biggest disaster, the worst thing in the world…and sometimes, the best.

  Then again, Holly knew her father better than Cassie did. Maybe Kevin would be so appalled that he’d hand Holly off to his ex-wife and rejoin the Air Force. What did she know? He’d slammed the door in her face pretty fast—for nothing more than having a private conversation with his daughter.

  Besides, Holly’s feelings were the important thing here, and to her, this all felt huge and terrifying and catastrophic.

  “How about this,” she told the girl. Holly looked up, her eyes completely ringed by smeared black eye makeup. “Let’s go to my house, which isn’t actually my house but an amazing celebrity home I’m taking care of. We can stock up on pizza and ice cream. And we’ll make a plan. Step by step, what we’re going to do next.”

  “We?”

  “Yes, we. I’ll be with you every step, as long as you want me. I’ll leave it up to you. You kick me out the second you want to handle things on your own.”

  Holly squared her shoulders and sat up in almost a military posture. Maybe she’d learned that from Kevin. She wiped the heel of her hand across her face, then rose to her feet. “It’s my disaster, and I know I have to fix it. But maybe if you could help with the first part. The worst part. My dad.”

  “Whatever you want, kid. We’ll be our own girl gang, how’s that?”

  They spent the rest of the evening at Hunter and Starly’s house. Cassie gave her plenty of space to think about what she needed to do. In the meantime, she pulled out a deck of cards and they launched into a game of Go Fish punctuated by bites of pepperoni and mushroom pizza (Holly’s choice) and Rocky Road Ice Cream (Cassie’s ironic pick).

  Having never spent extended time with Holly, other than that initial tour of Jupiter Point and some conversations at Knight and Day, Cassie discovered she loved getting to know her better. She was a funny mixture of insecure and brilliant, level-headed and passionate. Their senses of humor totally clicked. Cassie was able to get Holly rolling on the floor laughing with her imitation of various pop stars like Taylor Swift and Lorde, and even Beyoncé.

  They actually had fun, despite the cloud of dread hanging over Holly.

  It was too bad she probably wouldn’t be seeing Holly much in the future. That thought was especially bittersweet when Holly said, “One thing I feel really bad about is I might have guilt-tripped my dad about you. He thinks I don’t want him to date you, but that’s not really true. I was just mad at the world. Mostly myself,” she admitted. “I couldn’t believe I was so stupid.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” Cassie said as she put down a ten of spades and scooped up Holly’s five of hearts. “Don’t worry about any of that. Water under the bridge.”

  “But I like you. And I know my dad is crazy about you. I’ve never seen him this happy. It’s actually a little weird.” Holly played a king of spades and snagged Cassie’s jack of hearts.

  Cassie’s heart sank. If only that were true—but she knew it wasn’t. Kevin had made that perfectly clear. “Listen, kid, it’s really not what you think. We’re good friends and I’m sure we’ll continue to be. He’s an easy person to be friends with, and I really enjoy having him around at Knight and Day. But that’s where it ends.”

  Holly rolled her eyes, clearly not believing her. Cassie sighed inwardly and decided to let it go. If Kevin insisted on behaving like a jerk, that was on him, not her.

  Finally, Holly set down her cards and straightened her spine. “Step one, tell my dad.”

  “I concur.”

  “Then if the world is still standing, step two is that I talk to my boss. I explain in excruciating and painful detail what I did. I’ll suggest different ways to pay the money back, if she’s willing to work something out.”

  “I like it. Mature, responsible. Big points for difficulty.” She reached across the cards to high-five Holly.

  “Thank you,” said Holly soberly. “Step three is to apologize to the security guard. I think I threw something at him. Do you think I should report myself to the police?”

  “Let’s start with steps one and two and see how that goes. There’s something else, too.”

  “What?”

  “The girl gang. Anything you want to say to them?”

  “Oh right.” Holly made a face. “I’m going to tell them that I’m turning myself in, and that they need to change their Bling Ring ways or they’re going to get busted. How’s that?”

  “Eloquent. Holly, I’m impressed, I really am. You didn’t have to speak up about any of this.”

  Holly shot her a wry glance. “Right, and live tortured by guilt for the rest of my life. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since that night. I honestly don’t know how real criminals do it.”

  Cassie laughed. “Let’s keep it that way, shall we? Maybe you’ll sleep better tonight now that you’ve shared your deep dark secret.”

  “Or maybe I’ll just be enjoying my last night on Earth.”
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br />   “Well, if you’re going to be that way about it…more Rocky Road? You know, for the road?”

  26

  Kevin barely slept that night. Sylvie called him from a cocktail party on a yacht somewhere in the Mediterranean. Drunk Sylvie had a mean streak, so when he told her he still didn’t know what was going on with Holly, except that she was safe and staying with a friend, she flipped out.

  “Now that’s ironic, right? Didn’t you call me irrespon…pons…irreponsible for like, that exact same thing?”

  “It’s not the same. Holly’s fifteen now. She stays with friends all the time.”

  “Do you even know who she’s staying with?”

  “Yes, of course I know her. I told you, she’s a friend. My friend.”

  “Oh, my friend. AKA you’re sleeping with her. Yeah, that’s super-duper responsible, Kev. Like you’re so careful about who you screw.”

  He ground his teeth. Did he have to put up with this from an ex? “You bet I am. I learned my lesson.”

  “Ohmigod, you did not just say that. You know I can afford like, a hundred custody lawyers if I want? Lucky for you, I won’t because Mitch would divorce me. Just…okay just…I have to go, but you watch out for my little girl.” She gave a sob. Oh no, now it was time for Sappy Drunk Sylvie. “I really miss her sometimes.”

  “Good night, Sylvie. Go back to your party, would you? Mitch is probably worried about you.”

  In the morning, his own reflection scared him, all bloodshot eyes and haggard face. He splashed cold water over his head and practiced a tolerant and forgiving smile in case he needed it. He still had no clue what was up with Holly. Maybe he ought to rehearse something more stern and angry.

  But he didn’t have the heart. He just wanted to see his daughter.

  When he’d spruced himself up enough to face the world, he drove to the house where Cassie was staying. Her Jetta was in the driveway, with Holly’s blue mountain bike loaded onto a rack on the back.

  And for some reason, the sight of that bike made him see red all over again. Was he such a terrible father that he deserved to be shut out of his own daughter’s life? Wasn’t he always there for Holly? Why had she turned to Cassie instead—a virtual stranger?

  He knew that last part was unfair, but he couldn’t stop thinking it. He should be able to take care of his own family problems. Holly was his responsibility, not Cassie’s.

  By the time Cassie opened the door, he was in such a state of tension that he barely noticed her wary expression and freshly showered scent. He vaguely knew she was barefoot and dressed in cutoffs and a sassy t-shirt. With one part of his mind, he knew she looked mouthwatering.

  But he shoved all that aside. “Where’s Holly?”

  Silently, she opened the door and ushered him in. He stepped into the house where he’d spent so many incredibly fun and intimate moments with Cassie. He even knew how those polished hardwood floors felt under his bare ass, from the time she’d straddled him during Strip Monopoly.

  Holly was curled up in the armchair. She’d obviously been crying; the flesh around her eyes was swollen and all traces of makeup were gone.

  “Hey, baby.” He hurried toward her. If he didn’t get his arms around her in the next minute, he might explode.

  “Daddy!” She bolted to her feet and rushed toward him. She barreled into his arms the same way she had as a kid, when he’d been overseas for too long. As if she were afraid he’d disappear into thin air if she didn’t hold on hard enough.

  The feeling of relief was indescribable. She was okay. She was here. In his arms.

  He never wanted to go through that again.

  After letting her cling to him for a long moment—and loving every second of it—he murmured, “You ready to go? I was thinking you can tell me what’s going on over pancakes at the Milky Way.”

  “No.” She shook her head and pulled away. As her hair slid away from her face, he noticed a mottled discoloration near her cheekbone. “Right here. Before I lose my nerve.”

  “What’s this?” He touched her skin where the trace of red showed. .

  “I’ll explain, but don’t worry, it’s fine.”

  “Fine?” A dangerous feeling came over him, as if the ground was shifting under his feet.

  He glanced at Cassie, who was watching the two of them closely. She gestured toward the couch. “Why don’t you have a seat and I’ll bring in some coffee.”

  His jaw worked. If his daughter had gotten hurt in some way, he deserved to know immediately. Judging from how that mark had faded, she’d gotten it at least a week ago. Why hadn’t he known?

  “Sure,” he managed. “Coffee would be great.”

  He didn’t add that it had been a rough night, since that was probably written all over his face in stubble and stress lines.

  Cassie’s smile vanished and she hurried into the kitchen. He knew he was being rude to her. Ungracious. Holly was safe, after all. None of this was Cassie’s fault. As soon as she came back, he’d thank her like a civilized person.

  He and Holly sat down on the couch. “You scared me, honey,” he said gently. “I don’t like not knowing where you were or being able to get ahold of you.”

  “I’m sorry. I—I wasn’t thinking straight.” She shot him a worried look. Really worried. Uh-oh, something big and bad must be coming his way. “Are you feeling better now?” she asked cautiously.

  He laughed a little and scrubbed his hand through his hair. “A lot better now that I’m with you. Don’t worry so much, Holly. It’ll be okay. Whatever’s going on.”

  “I don’t know. I don’t know how to start.” She looked past him, probably hoping Cassie was back. Her anxiety set his teeth on edge. What was she so damn worried about?

  “How about the Band-Aid approach? Rip it off all at once. Then it’s over and we can go from there.”

  “Band-Aid. Okay.” She drew in a deep breath, then let it out in an explosion of words. “I stole a thousand dollars from the observatory and spent it on a spa day with some friends.”

  “What?” He shot up to his feet. “WHAT?”

  From behind him, he heard the sound of clinking cups. Cassie stood a few feet away holding two mugs. Coffee sloshed over their rims. Her mouth was open in a perfect “O” of alarm. Not shock. Or surprise.

  Because she knew.

  “Holy fuck. You knew about this, Cassie?”

  She straightened her spine and glared back at him. “Yes, Holly told me yesterday.”

  “And you didn’t tell me?”

  “Holly is telling you right now, in case you missed it.”

  He couldn’t look at Holly yet. Didn’t want to hear more. He’d worked so hard to counteract Sylvie’s cheerfully amoral influence on his daughter. But this was a total Sylvie-type stunt. Sylvie loved to make trouble. She didn’t care about rules. She loved money, adventure. And she loved spa days.

  “Dad.” Holly tugged at his shirt. “It’s not Cassie’s fault. You shouldn’t yell at her.”

  “I’m not yelling.”

  He was yelling. And he knew that. But it was nothing compared to the primal screaming that was going on inside him. He kept his focus on Cassie, still afraid to look at his daughter. Why was Cassie involved with this? What right did she have to know things about his daughter before he did?

  “I’m just trying to figure out why Cassie didn’t tell me the second she found out that my daughter had committed grand theft. Do you know the potential consequences, Cassie? On college applications, future jobs, God knows what else?”

  For a moment, Cassie looked absolutely stricken. Then she stuck her jaw out and marched toward him. She plopped the two coffee mugs on the end table next to the couch. “Holly, you’ve already done the hard part. Can you take it from here? I don’t think I should be here anymore.”

  Holly tugged her lower lip between her teeth, looking so worried that Kevin’s heart turned over in his chest. Yeah, he was mad. He had a right to be. But her fearfulness made no sense to him.<
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  After a painful hesitation, she nodded. “Yeah, it’s okay. You can go. Thanks, Cassie.”

  Cassie grabbed her car keys, which were sitting next to the coffee mugs, and fixed Kevin with a stern look.

  As if he was in the wrong. For Pete’s sake.

  “She’s trying to do the right thing here, so get over yourself.”

  His jaw dropped at her sheer audaciousness. Get over yourself? What the fuck did that mean? He’d just learned that his fifteen-year-old daughter had committed a crime. What did getting over himself have to do with anything?

  Cassie left before he could summon an answer.

  As soon as she was gone, her tires laying down rubber in the driveway—she always did drive too fast—he missed her.

  He wanted her.

  Needed her.

  Because he had no idea what to say to his own daughter.

  First things first, he told himself. Look at her.

  As soon as he did, he wanted to cry. This wasn’t a gleefully amoral grown-up who skipped through life paying no consequences. This wasn’t Sylvie. This was Holly—woebegone, guilt-ridden, and tearstained.

  “I’m so sorry I did it, Dad. It was completely stupid, and I can’t even blame my prefrontal cortex. It was just…stupid.”

  “I’m not going to argue with that. I just….why, Holly? Why?”

  “I didn’t want to be a geek anymore!”

  The rest of the story poured out at that point. He made himself listen carefully to every painful freaking word. How come he’d had no clue about any of this? Starting with her need to prove she wasn’t just a good student, or some kind of Asian nerd girl. Should he have seen that coming?

  He’d let her down. He should have gotten her therapy, or a good role model, or a support group, or hell, even tracked down another part-Asian woman for her to talk to. Wasn’t one of the Jupiter Point police officers part Japanese?

  Not that he wanted to seek out a cop at this moment.

  Anyway, Sylvie was Taiwanese, though born in the States. ABC, she called herself. American Born Chinese. Had this happened because Sylvie wasn’t around to guide Holly through this stage of her life? Was it his fault because he’d assumed full custody? Would Holly actually be better off with Sylvie?