Find Me in Manhattan (Finding #3)

by Shealy James

  It was happening again. I felt a little like I was in an alternate universe where this could be my life…with Sarah.

  “So, what?” Moretti asked as we sat around the table shuffling cards and devouring some kind of layered dip Sarah had brought. “You two together now?”

  “Nah. It’s not like that,” I explained hoping that was enough. My friends were nosy bastards, but I never freely gave them the information they requested.

  “She’s been up at the track with you a few times,” Phil challenged.

  “And you haven’t picked up a woman since you met her,” Jay added. I wanted to give them all the bird. Fucking nosy bastards.

  “I say we ask Sarah,” Moretti said through a mouthful of chips.

  “Go ahead.” I shrugged hoping they would let it go if I acted like I didn’t care. “She knows the score.”

  “Who knows what score?” Amy asked as the girls filed in carrying drinks and more food. Sarah sat next to me and handed me another beer with a smile.

  “Michael’s trying to tell us that he and Sarah are only friends,” Phil told the girls. I decided that I wanted the superpower that controlled what came out of my friends’ mouths or the power to cause incredible pain with one look.

  “We are only friends,” Sarah confirmed nonchalantly. “Why’s that so hard to believe?” I hated the pain that shot through my chest the second she agreed with me without a second thought.

  “Umm…have you seen you?” Moretti asked like it was obvious.

  Sarah looked down at herself and frowned. “And?”

  “He’s trying to say you’re too pretty to be friends with a guy,” I explained to her.

  “Pretty, my ass. Sarah’s hot.” That earned Moretti punch in the shoulder from Lana. “Not as hot as you, baby. No one is,” he placated her then proceeded to swallow her face while the rest of us cringed from the show. I didn’t believe for one second that they were only fuck buddies.

  “So you’re available then, Sarah?” Jay asked.

  “Oh, um, I guess.” Her eyes flicked to me. “I’m not really looking for anything, but technically I’m not seeing anyone.” Damn right, she’s not seeing anyone. She was too busy getting under my skin and digging deeper every day.

  “How about you and I go to dinner one night?” Jay asked her while all of us watched and waited. It was everything I could do to keep the anger off my face when Sarah looked at me for permission. I didn’t want her to go—but what could I say? I hadn’t offered her anything more than one day at a time, and Jay was a good guy. I didn’t have an excuse to stop it, which pissed me off even though I was the one to blame.

  All of their eyes were on me. Instead of giving into their hunger for drama, I shrugged letting them all think I didn’t care what she did. I saw the disappointment in her eyes, and that hurt more than I wanted to admit, even to myself.

  She agreed to dinner with Jay, and he shot a knowing smile my way. I took a sip of my beer to keep myself from lunging across the table at him. The rest of the night dragged on for a lifetime. Amy kept the conversation flowing while Sarah remained quiet next to me. I knew she was hurt, but now wasn’t the time to discuss it. I had a feeling what we needed to say would be a discussion. She checked her phone a few times and frowned every time. When I tried to get her to speak to me again, I asked if she was okay. She blandly replied, “Fine,” every single time. I was really starting to hate that word.

  Finally, when everyone started to head home, I stupidly assumed Sarah would leave with me. But she told me to go without her, that she would just get a cab. She didn’t have to, though. Jay offered to take her home instead, which was how I ended up following his black BMW over the bridge back to the city then heading straight to the gym. By the time I was done with the punching bag, I had split my fingers open and the tape on my hands was a nice shade of red. My back was in such bad shape that I couldn’t even work out the next morning in the gym with Moretti, even after taking the pain pills I typically avoided.

  He took one look at my hands and laughed. “Why don’t you just admit you like her, dumbass?” He, of all people, did not need to judge the way I handled a woman.

  “We’re friends,” I grunted.

  Moretti leaned over the leg press while I did my first set of reps. “Yeah, you said that last night, but why? You like her. She obviously has a hard-on for you. The only reason Jay asked her out was to get a rise out of you, and you sat there like a sack of shit. Lana thinks Sarah was probably embarrassed, so she had no choice to agree to dinner with Jay. You’re lucky I distracted her. She was ready to slit your throat after the shit you pulled. She’s protective of Sarah.”

  “Why would Sarah be embarrassed?” I asked ignoring everything else about Lana. I never doubted Moretti would end up with a wild one.

  “Uhh…because the guy she hangs out with all the time acted like he didn’t give a rat’s ass about her.”

  “Whatever, dude. You don’t know anything about her.”

  “Maybe not, but her roommate probably knows a little something. Lana went home last night, and I was forced to sleep alone because you’re too chicken shit to take a chance on a girl you may actually like spending time with.”

  “So, you’re pissed because you didn’t get laid. That’s got nothing to do with me.”

  “Oh, I got laid. That’s not what I’m saying.”

  “Then make your point because I’m done discussing it.”

  “Fine, but one day you’re gonna wake up and realize we all moved on without you. Even Sarah. Then what are you gonna do?” Moretti walked over to the treadmills leaving me leaning against the mirrors wondering when he started caring about anything other than getting between a girl’s legs.

  Sarah

  Ever since poker night, Michael’s been a little distant. Or maybe I have. I couldn’t really tell. I threw myself into work, had a so-so dinner with Jay, and tried my best to pretend things weren’t weird with Michael. I was doing fine if by fine that meant I was lonely and confused and a little bit broken. So, yes, I was fine until I checked my email.

  Sender: Unknown Address

  To: SEGrant@colombia.edu

  Red Rover. Red Rover. Send Sarah right over.

  I deleted it immediately and tried to forget all about it. The address was unknown, and I had no proof it was Jameson even though I had no doubt it was. It was no different from the text messages I had been receiving for the last week from an unknown number. The messages stopped coming from Jameson’s number after Thanksgiving. The unknown number started with the creepier messages the day I landed back in New York. Hiding them from my brother took more of my attention than the actual messages. All along, I had been hoping that ignoring them would work, but hours later, another one came through.

  Sender: Unknown Address

  To: SEGrant@colombia.edu

  What happened to your watchdog? Who will protect you now, Sarah?

  Delete. Delete. Delete.

  They were getting worse. I knew I wouldn’t be able to pretend the messages weren’t meant for me for much longer. I tried not to panic while considering the potential danger I could be in by continuing to wish Jameson away. When I received another email, I decided to allow myself a small freak-out.

  Sender: Unknown Address

  To: SEGrant@colombia.edu

  Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Time is running out.

  Feeling angrier and more emotionally unstable by the minute, I forwarded the emails to Darrin Houser, the Assistant District Attorney handling the order of protection I had filed. With the email, I also questioned why they hadn’t arrested Jameson yet. I packed up my stuff from the VA and headed home to transcribe the interviews I had done that day. I was surprised to find Michael there waiting on the steps with takeout, considering I had hardly even talked to him in the last few days.

  “Chinese,” he said as he held the bag up. I wondered if it was a peace offering. At the very least, he recognized things had been off and was extending an olive branch.
I appreciated the gesture.

  “Sure.” I nodded and held the door for him. He paused and let me climb the stairs in front of him. “You’ll quit staring at my ass if you know what’s good for you.”

  “Trust me. Seeing your ass in that skirt is very good for me.” I turned and grinned at him. He responded with an innocent look that had me shaking my head. I was surprised at how well we could pretend that nothing happened.

  We filled our plates with food and sat down at my kitchen table. It took less than two bites for him to ask about my date with Jay. I knew that was why he was here. He might not want to admit it, but he wanted more from me than friendship. But I would never be the kind of girl to chase a guy. I didn’t have it in me. He made it perfectly clear that he didn’t think he could handle a relationship, and as his friend, it was my job to respect that.

  “It was fine,” I told him.

  He responded by sucking in a breath and grinning wickedly. “Uh-oh.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “You only say fine when things aren’t actually good but you don’t want to admit it out loud.”

  “Because you know me so well,” I argued. So, I was feeling a little irritable. With the way the men in my life had been acting lately, I felt like I had good reason to act a bit bitchy.

  He sighed. “I know you well enough. Where’d he take you?”

  I decided to focus on his questions for the sake of saving the evening. “His restaurant. He said it was the only place he could guarantee good service and even better food.”

  “He’s right about that. You do anything else?”

  “No. He brought me home and walked me to my door.”

  “Did he kiss you goodnight?”

  I dropped my chopsticks. “Why would you ask me that?”

  “You know why.” His dark eyes met my blue ones, and I held his gaze until he looked away. He had the chance right then to change the whole dynamic of our relationship, but once again, he didn’t take it. I understood, or I was trying to understand anyway, but it was next to impossible when my heart and body were saying something different than my brain. It didn’t help that I knew he actually felt the same way about me but didn’t feel strong enough, brave enough, or stable enough to do anything about it.

  Digging deep for strength to be friendly and not lose it completely, I changed the subject. “What kind of car are you and Joe working on?” He went into great detail about the 1968 Ferrari that was brought in a few days earlier. From there, the conversation flowed easily, and we fell back into our easy camaraderie.

  I did feel a little bad about never telling him about the emails, but I wanted him there because he was my friend, not because he was my protector. I kept hoping that if he didn’t see me as someone who needed help then he might be willing to go beyond this friendship crap. Honestly, though, if jealousy didn’t work, I was pretty sure nothing would.

  Fifteen

  Michael

  I was finishing an oil change on a year old Lamborghini Asterion LPI 910-4 when my phone rang. Moretti’s stupid picture filled up my screen, so I answered knowing he was calling about me skipping our workout that morning. It was raining out, and my body always ached a little more when it rained. It didn’t help that I had a killer headache from not sleeping the past few nights. I hadn’t been taking the sleeping pills in case Sarah needed me. When I took them, nothing woke me up, and I wanted to be available in case she called. I doubted she would call, but I didn’t want to risk it either way, not until they locked the son of a bitch up. Why they hadn’t already locked him up was beyond me.

  My phone started buzzing again reminding me Moretti was calling. “Yeah man,” I answered. “Sorry, I skipped. I-”

  “Michael!” He cut me off. “Where’s Sarah?”

  “I don’t know. VA or class. Why?” I was already on the move. Something in his voice told me something wasn’t right.

  I heard him repeat what I said to someone else, Lana probably.

  “Moretti! What’s going on?”

  “Dude, I came over to Lana’s for a quickie-”

  “Didn’t need to know that,” I interrupted.

  “No, man, listen. She and I came in together. There were flowers at the door and a note. It said, ‘Come out. Come out. Wherever you are. Time’s up.’ Lana started flipping out trying to call Sarah to see where she was, but she hasn’t answered.” Panic rose in my chest. What if the bastard got to her?

  “I’m on my way to the VA. Get Lana to take you to wherever she has class. We gotta find her,” I shouted as I ran to my bike.

  “Michael! Wait! There’s more.” I froze and waited for him to continue. “He’s been inside or someone has. Lana looked in Sarah’s room. She said it’s always perfect. Bed made, clothes put away, you know.”

  “Make your point!”

  “Someone’s gone through her stuff and been in her bed. Her gun safes have been pulled out but are unopened. They have biometric scanning, so I don’t think he was able to get in. Cops are on their way, but you need to find Sarah.”

  I hung up my phone and tore out of the lot on my bike like a bat out of hell. I saw a blur of Joe and Phil pass as I drove to the exit of the track. All I could think about was what I would do if she wasn’t safe. I didn’t feel the cold rain pelting me. I didn’t feel the freezing wind threatening to force my bike to the ground. I felt the rush of a mission pumping through me, and fear was in the driver’s seat this time.

  I pulled in front of the VA and squeezed my bike into a space where I knew I ran the risk of being towed, but I didn’t care. I took off running for the doors and pounded on the button for the elevator before I finally decided to take the stairs. No one took the stairs except the doctors in this building. There were too many people on crutches or in wheelchairs.

  Just as I reached the door to the office she was using, it opened. There she was smiling at the female soldier she had been interviewing. Sarah gave the woman a hug and told her to call her anytime she wanted to talk. As the soldier walked away, she nodded toward me and I tried to do the same, but my heart was still pounding in my chest.

  “Michael?” I heard Sarah’s sweet voice say my name and all the worry and fear I had felt left my body. “What are you doing here? Why are you soaking wet?”

  I didn’t know what came over me in that instant, but I couldn’t take the distance any longer. I took two giant steps toward her, pushing her back in the office with my body. With my hands busy pulling her to me, I slammed the door with my foot. The instant our lips connected, I felt whole again. I held the back of her head, and she opened her mouth, submitting to my every need. I held her close as our tongues touched once, twice, and again. Her hands tightly gripped my biceps, but I barely felt them with the intensity of our kiss.

  When we finally broke apart, I kept my eyes closed and forehead resting on hers. We were both fighting to get our breath back under control while holding onto each other as if one of us would fade away if we let go.

  “You’re freezing,” she said breaking the silence.

  “I was in a hurry. You scared the shit out of me.”

  “What? Why?” She pulled away to look up at me. I hated that we couldn’t remain connected, but I saw the confusion in her eyes and understood why she needed to see me.

  “Your apartment. He was there.”

  “WHAT?”

  “Lana and Moretti found a note and your room was…well, it wasn’t how you left it,” I explained.

  “Is Lana-”

  “She’s fine. She was worried about you. They tried calling you.”

  “I was in an interview. I didn’t hear my phone. What did the note say?”

  “You don’t want to know.”

  “I actually do.”

  “It said, ‘Come out. Come out. Wherever you are. Time’s up.’ It came with some flowers.”

  She stepped away and threw her hands on her hips. She didn’t seem afraid. She was pissed. “Good gravy. He doesn’t know when to quit.”
Her fingernails went into her mouth while she stood deep in thought.

  Then something occurred to me. “I don’t get why he leaves you alone for almost two weeks then suddenly shows up again.”

  Sarah’s blue eyes widened and looked up at me guiltily. “Maybe he doesn’t.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He doesn’t leave me alone.”

  I felt the fury rise up inside of me, but the sweet puppy dog eyes Sarah was giving me had me attempting to control my tone. “What else?”

  “Nothing much.”

  “Sarah…”

  “Text messages from a blocked number. Emails from an unknown address,” she confessed quickly while still biting her nails.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” I shouted louder than I meant. “Have you told your brother? Lana?”

  “No. I don’t want everybody fussin’ over me and telling me what I need to do. It’s ridiculous. I want to forget all this ever happened.” Her accent was thicker when she was emotional. I could hear her fear and frustration in every word she said.

  That didn’t stop me from losing my shit. “Jesus.” I turned and started pacing the length of the small room. “You agreed.”

  “Look,” she snapped, “I know we don’t know each other very well, but I don’t like being told what to do. I listen to my Mama and Daddy because it’s their God-given right to boss me around. Other than that, no one tells me what to do, you understand?” Her finger poked me in the chest while she glared at me.

  I grabbed her finger and pulled her close. “I’m not telling you what to do. I’m trying to keep you safe the best way I know how. I promised your brother that I’d keep an eye on you so I could keep you here.”

  “I thought we were just friends,” she whispered when our foreheads were touching.