My Sister My Momma My Wife

by Lipsey, Shelia E.

  “Hmm,” he responded and sat up. “You need something, baby?”

  “No, I’m good. Why don’t you take the rest of your clothes off and get in the bed. You were snoring. I know you have to be tired too. You ran around Honduras practically nonstop, and the plane ride back was exhausting too.” Francesca stroked the side of his face with the back of her hand.

  “I’m fine,” Tim said. “You hungry?”

  “No. I’m good. Just concerned about you. Have you eaten anything?”

  “A bowl of fruit. You want me to fix you some?”

  “No, just want to make sure you’re all right. Are you going to get in bed then?”

  Tim got up and took off the rest of his clothes. “I’m going to take a shower. You wanna join me?”

  “Sure. Then we can climb under the covers and spoon a little,” she said with a smile on her face.

  “Sounds good to me,” Tim answered. He reached his long arm across the bed toward Francesca, and gently guided her out the bed and on to her feet. “Come on.” He kissed her with unbridled passion until he heard a moan escape from Francesca’s lips.

  The warm water of the shower was soothing. She stood underneath the jet streams and she and Tim bathed each other. His touch always made her long for his lovemaking. It hadn’t been like that when they first got married. It wasn’t so much because she had AIDS that she was frightened about making love, because she insisted that Tim, even now, wear a condom. The thought that she could infect him, weighed heavily on her mind. Yet, Tim never made her feel uncomfortable about her disease. She was more afraid of not being able to respond to a man’s touch. Tim was so sweet, so kind and easy to love that she wanted to do everything she could to assure his happiness, and that included being the best wife she could possibly be.

  Their first time making love was awkward, but Tim was gentle, and didn’t pressure her at all. That was another reason she loved him; the man was like someone out of a fairytale. She was totally into being all woman and enjoyed being treated like a lady.

  “Why are you putting on a nightgown?” Tim asked. “I want to feel all of you lying next to me. No barriers,” he said.

  “Is that right?” Francesca threw the nightie to the side and climbed in the bed. She held the bed cover back for Tim to get in. He did.

  He turned toward her. “I love you. I love you so much.” His lips caressed hers while simultaneously he massaged her hips with his hands.

  “I love you more,” she said. “I love you more.” Without warning, her mind betrayed her with thoughts of Rena. Why couldn’t she get her off her mind? Rena was living her life, and Francesca wanted to live hers, at least what she thought she had left of it.

  Her time spent at The Healing Place was beneficial in so many ways. She learned that by changing her total diet, she might be able to prolong her life expectancy from living a mere three years with AIDS to living as long as a person who was not infected. With her renewed faith, a good man by her side, and her new health regiment, Francesca was determined more than ever to live life to the fullest. Now if only she could keep thoughts of Rena at bay.

  6

  “It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons.” Johann Schiller

  Stiles parked in the space in front of Pastor’s apartment home. He turned off the ignition and looked over his shoulder. “You are such a good girl. Such a daddy’s little girl,” he told Audrey.

  He got out of the car and walked to the back passenger side door, opened it and with ease he removed Audrey from her car seat. He kissed her forehead, followed by each one of her chubby, rosy cheeks.

  “Let’s go see granddaddy. Okay?” Stiles continued to talk to his daughter as he walked toward his father’s apartment.

  “Knock on the door,” he said and took Audrey’s little hand, balled it into a baby fist and lightly tapped it on Pastor’s front door. “You’re so smart. If your grandmamma was still alive, she would have you spoiled rotten.” Stiles grinned and then gave the door a harder knock. Within a few seconds, it swung open. Before Stiles could say one word, Pastor had already focused all of his attention on Baby Audrey. He reached for her and willingly Audrey leaned out and over into Pastor’s arms.

  “Hey there, granddaddy’s little angel. How is granddaddy’s angel doing?” Pastor slowly walked into his living room with Audrey in his arms. He still showed some physical signs of his previous two strokes in the way he walked, like he was walking on eggshells.

  Stiles closed the front door and followed Pastor. He took a seat on the small purple sectional, and Pastor sat down in his chair. Stiles watched as Pastor bounced Baby Audrey up and down on his knee. She giggled and clapped her hands awkwardly. Both men chuckled.

  “You and my little angel out without her mommy?” Pastor asked without taking his eyes off the baby.

  “Detria’s at church meeting with volunteers and staff about the media blitz she’s spearheading for the grand opening of the academy.”

  “I see,” said Pastor. “Detria has really become active at the church hasn’t she? Your mother would be proud of her. She’s grown into an awesome first lady.” Pastor stopped bouncing the baby. “It’s a blessing she’s serving in the ministry and supporting your vision for Holy Rock. Son, I’m proud of you. I’m proud of Detria. God is so good.” Pastor turned away from Audrey and looked at Stiles.

  “Thank you, Pastor, and you’re right. God is good.” Stiles pursed his lips and sighed.

  “But?” Pastor asked.

  “Well, don’t get me wrong. I’m thankful that she wants to work more in the ministry. That’s well and fine, but hey, don’t be sniffing up under my butt, like she’s trying to see what I’m doing.”

  Pastor shook his head. A faint smile formed on his face. “Son, you can’t have it both ways. You want a woman, a helpmeet, someone who understands the call God placed on your life. You want a wife who is also a good mother. Detria seems to meet those qualifications.” Baby Audrey touched Pastor’s mustache and then she tried to gum it. Pastor laughed. “Oh, no you don’t,” he said to her in a gentle tone. “You’re not using my mustache as your teething cookie.”

  “Pastor, look,” Stiles lifted his hands. “I am not disputing any of what you’ve said. And, like I said, I’m grateful to God, but I’m also telling you that she’s a little too close. I can’t turn at home or at the church without her being right there. The whole purpose of her not going back to work was to be a full time mother to Baby Audrey, not to start a full time ministry at church. She used to complain about my long hours away from home, and here she is spending more and more time away from the baby. She might as well be back at work.”

  Pastor remained quiet with a pensive look.

  “Look, I didn’t come over here to mouth off about my marriage. I just hoped that Detria would be content with being a full time mother. I had plans on telling her not to ever go back to work.” Stiles shrugged. “Anyway, enough of that.” Baby Audrey shut down the conversation none too soon for Stiles, when she started to cry. “She’s ready to eat. Let me run out to the car and get her diaper bag.”

  “Okay, son,” Pastor replied and held Audrey up against his chest and started rocking her. “Shhh, it’s okay, sweetheart. Daddy’s gone to get your bottle.” Audrey began to quiet down.

  Stiles reappeared, and walked over to her. With lightning speed, she grabbed the bottle from his hand, placed its nipple in her mouth, and leaned back into Pastor’s arms.

  “Pastor, let’s get to why I’m here.”

  “I know why you’re here. You brought my angel here to see me.”

  “I know that, but you told me earlier this week that you wanted to talk to me about Emerald Estates. So tell me, what’s going on? You want to move back there?”

  Pastor cocked his head. “That would be nice, but not practical. I’m fine right here. The tenants are taking pretty good care of it. That’s a blessing. Not too many people care as much about your stuff as you do. And the money I ge
t in rent helps me out. God’s favor.” Pastor shook his head. “God’s favor.” He chuckled. Baby Audrey peered at him with wide eyes, never once taking her lips off her bottle.

  “Okay, so what about Emerald Estates?”

  “I still have a lot of things up in that attic. I’ve been thinking about what all is up there. A lot of papers, I know, some of my sermons, picture albums. ” Pastor spoke slowly. “And mixed in with all of those items I’m sure is junk. Things that need to be gone through. Your mother used to do spring cleaning every year. I need to get back in the swing of things and pick up where she left off.”

  “I guess it is time to see if it’s stuff we need to continue to keep or throw out.”

  Suddenly Pastor looked uncomfortable.

  “What’s wrong?” Stiles asked then concentrated his gaze on Audrey. She was making one of those I’m boo-booing faces. “Oh, sweetheart you need your diaper changed?” Stiles stood up, walked over, and removed his daughter from Pastor’s lap.

  “Oh, it’s not the baby. She’s fine. I just need you to get somebody to get that stuff out of the attic and bring it over here so I can go through it.”

  “No problem.” Stiles paused. “Look, why don’t I get it down and take it to my house? That way I can go through some of it for you, and whatever looks important, I’ll put it aside and you can come over to my place and go through it,” Stiles suggested.

  “Yeah, that sounds good.”

  “That way you won’t have to clutter your apartment with boxes,” Stiles added.

  “Thank you, son.”

  “No problem. I’m going to go back here and change the baby. I’ll be right back.”

  “Sure,” Pastor said and waved his hand.

  Moments later, Stiles returned with a happy looking Audrey.

  “That child knows she’s adorable,” Pastor said. “I sure hate that you feel like Detria is neglecting her motherly duties.”

  “I didn’t say that she’s neglecting the baby. It’s just that she doesn’t spend as much time with her the way I thought she would, or could. Now don’t get me wrong, I love taking care of my daughter, but from what I’ve heard about parenting, it’s the mother who makes all the difference in a child’s life.”

  Pastor nodded.

  Stiles leaned over and kissed her while she nestled in his arms. Her eyes drooped like they were heavy as a ton of bricks. Stiles kissed her on the top of her head. Baby Audrey didn’t move. Her eyes remained closed in sleep this time.

  “I think you know for yourself that Detria is not the perfect little wife. I mean, look how she did you, for God’s sake. She beat you and treated you like crap when you were sick, when you couldn’t speak for yourself, or defend yourself.”

  “Son, that’s all in the past. And I forgave her, and so did you. Or so I thought. But it sounds like you still have some anger built up in you.”

  “It’s not anger. It’s just that sometimes I’m not sure about that woman.”

  “When she took her frustrations out on me, remember she was under a lot of pressure and strain. After all, the woman believed I was responsible for her miscarriage.”

  Stiles nodded. “Yea, sure she did.”

  “Look, I don’t see what that has to do with anything we’re talking about. So there’s no need to talk about it anymore. I want to leave the past in the past.”

  Stiles tenderly gathered Audrey closer in his arms as he stood up. “It’s almost three o’clock. I need to get home so I can get ready for Bible study this evening.”

  “What are you going to do about the baby?” Pastor asked.

  “Detria is supposed to be home by four, no later than four-thirty, so she’ll have the baby.”

  Pastor stood up and walked toward the door, stopping next to Stiles to pick up Audrey’s diaper bag. I’ll walk y’all out to the car. I’m sure glad you came over here. I feel relieved too that you’re going to take care of cleaning that attic out.”

  “Yea, don’t waste another second thinking about that. I’m going to get on it ASAP.”

  Father and son walked to the car. Baby Audrey didn’t budge in the least when Stiles placed her in her car seat.

  “She’s out for the count,” Pastor said, followed by a chuckle.

  “That she is,” Stiles answered, opened the driver’s side of the car and climbed inside. “I’m glad me and Audrey got a chance to spend a little time with you today. I know I need to come by more often but─

  “Don’t.” Pastor showed his palm. “Your wife and child need you, and Holy Rock requires your time and attention. Believe me, I know that it’s hard work being the shepherd over a growing flock like yours. Shucks, it was hard enough for me when the church had barely 500 members. Now God has blessed so much that you have what – three, four thousand plus members?”

  Stiles smiled proudly and nodded. “I am so glad to see how much God is moving at Holy Rock. People are coming, lives are being changed and with the new children’s center and Holy Rock Academy opening next month, it’s a lot going on, but I’m not complaining.”

  “You make me proud, son. You make me proud. Now take my precious little sleeping beauty home. I’ll see you at Bible Study tonight.”

  Stiles closed the door, started the ignition, and drove off. “Lord, help me to be more grateful for my wife,” he prayed out loud. “I don’t want to be selfish, yet Father God, it’s something warring in my spirit about her. Something just doesn’t feel right.”

  Stiles stopped praying when he heard Baby Audrey’s cries. “It’s okay, honey. We’ll be home in a few minutes, and daddy will get you out of that old car seat,” he said softly. “But whether your momma will be there to greet us, is a horse of a different color.”

  7

  “When mistrust comes in, love goes out.” Irish saying

  Stiles looked at his iPhone again. It was almost six o’clock, and Detria still had not made it home. He tried calling her again, and once again, her phone went to voice mail. He called Holy Rock but no one answered. It was after hours, but he hoped that Skip would pick up, but he didn’t.

  Next, he fed Baby Audrey and afterward, he began to repack her diaper bag so he could take her with him. He could get one of the ladies at church to look after her while he taught, of that he was certain. But where in the world was Detria and why wasn’t she answering her phone.

  His anger fumed as another half hour came and went, and still no word from Detria. “Come on, sweetpea. Let’s get outta here.” He scooped up Baby Audrey out her crib, and headed downstairs when he heard the door leading into the kitchen from the garage open. Detria met him as he made his way down the stairs with a cooing Baby Audrey.

  “Where have you been?” he asked. His voice raised an octave. “I’ve been calling you and calling you. I even texted you and you didn’t reply.” Stiles bit his bottom

  lip and inhaled. He couldn’t have been more angrier than he was right now.

  “Hi there, sweet girl,” Detria said to Baby Audrey and reached to take her from Stiles. “Mommy missed you. Yes she did,” Detria continued.

  “Don’t you hear me? I said, where the heck have you been?”

  “Not that I owe you an explanation, but I lost track of time. I’ve been so busy trying to get everything perfect for when the media comes next week. There’s still a lot to get done, and I want the academy and the center to be perfect.”

  Baby Audrey started to fuss. “Come on, darling.” Baby Audrey leaned out of Stiles arms toward her mother. “That’s my girl,” Detria said in a sweet, motherly tone. She planted tiny kisses on each of Baby Audrey’s cheeks.

  “You couldn’t answer your phone or return a text? Come on, tell that to somebody who’ll believe it.”

  “I don’t have to tell it to anybody, especially you. Anyway, I don’t have time for this. I have to get a shower and change clothes.”

  Stiles looked stunned as he remained on the bottom step. “For what?”

  “What do you mean, for what? Bible study
, Pastor Graham,” she said in a mocking tone.

  “Oh no, you don’t. You haven’t spent any time with your baby all day. And it’s not like you come to Bible study every week anyway. You’re going to stay right here and see to my daughter. That’s what you’re going to do.”

  Detria rolled her eyes at her husband, and swiftly skirted pass him and up the stairs, holding Baby Audrey on her hip.

  “Detria,” Stiles said as she disappeared from his view. “You heard what I said,” he yelled. “Take care of my daughter; I’ll take care of what goes on at Holy Rock.”

  He heard her reply from upstairs. “You better go or you’ll be late for your own Bible Study, Pastor,” she yelled.

  Stiles walked with force through the kitchen and toward the door leading to the garage. He opened the door and slammed it behind him.

  ◊

  Stiles could barely maintain his composure from the pulpit as he taught Bible Study. He couldn’t believe Detria had defied him by coming to church anyway, and to add fuel to the flame, Detria didn’t have his daughter with her. He zeroed in on Detria, making eye contact with her. He could have sworn she had a big smirk on her face. Looking away before he lost his religion, as his mother used to say when she was about to go off on somebody, Stiles continued teaching.

  “God will never leave you. God will never forsake you. No matter what you go through in life; God is able,” Stiles told the sanctuary full of people. “He’s Jehovah Jireh, your provider. If you need to be healed, He’s Jehovah Rapha. Yes, people, God is a present help in time of trouble. He is Elohim, the almighty God.” People all over the 3,500 seat sanctuary, clapped and echoed words of praise. “He’s Jehovah Raah, our shepherd. He’s everything you need Him to be.”

  For the remainder of the hour-long Bible Study, Stiles was consumed with teaching the word of God. He’d handle his problems with Detria when he got home.