My Sister My Momma My Wife

by Lipsey, Shelia E.

  “You forget her true feelings are in black and white, Pastor. She said in that letter that you forced her to keep that baby. And I believe her. I believe every word she said. I used to think she was the controlling one, but all the time it’s been you. You ran up to Holy Rock day in and day out, leaving my mother here to get raped and then forcing her to keep the baby. I don’t know what it was, or maybe you couldn’t give her a baby so you wanted everyone to believe Francesca was yours.”

  “Stop it, stop it right now. It wasn’t that I couldn’t have children. That’s not true at all. Your mother just never got pregnant again. Doctors called it unexplained infertility. In other words, there was no reason she shouldn’t have been able to get pregnant after Francesca, but she didn’t. And as year after year passed and she didn’t get pregnant, we both believed even stronger that it had been God’s will for your mother to have Francesca.”

  “Too bad my mother can’t tell her side of the story. Oh, but she can and she did. In that letter. That letter says it all. So I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. I’m telling Francesca about you and your hypocrisy. We’ll see what she thinks about you then,” Stiles said, his voice cold and accusing.

  “Don’t do that to your sister,” Pastor said, his voice sounding defeated. “This will tear her apart, and she’s already ill. Why would you want to tell her─”

  “Hold up, don’t try to make me feel guilty for something you’re to blame for. My sister deserves to know what kind of man you are. Standing behind the Word to make yourself look all holier than thou. I’ve had enough of you.” Stiles abruptly pushed the END button on his iPhone.

  He walked over to the door and opened it. Detria was gone. Good, she better be gone to get my daughter.

  ◊

  Detria sped off up the street and out of the confines of their upscale neighborhood. She voice dialed Pastor’s number for the third time since getting inside her car. The first two times, Pastor didn’t answer. Detria knew it was because he was still talking to Stiles, but she refused to give up. She had to know what was going on and what Stiles meant when he said Pastor forced Audrey to have a baby. Could it be true? Had Pastor done something so despicable? The third time is a charm is what some folks say, and it worked for Detria because Pastor picked up the third time around.

  “Hello,” he answered.

  “Pastor, it’s Detria. Are you all right?” she asked, feigning concern.

  “No, how can I be all right. Feels like my whole world is collapsing.” He sounded like he was crying.

  “I’m on my way over there. I should be there in about twenty minutes.”

  “No, don’t do that. I need some time alone with God. I need to pray about this.”

  “I’m coming over there,” Detria insisted. “I promise I won’t stay long, but I need to make sure you’re all right. I’ll see you shortly,” she said before she ended the call and accelerated her speed as she jumped on I-240.

  Detria voice dialed the next number. A male answered.

  “What’s up?” he asked.

  “You home yet?” she replied.

  “Naw. I should be there in about an hour. Why? You coming to see me or something?” he said and snickered into the phone.

  “Maybe. So much has happened since I saw you this afternoon. My husband acted like he wanted to get violent again with me because I left the baby with Mother Brown tonight. And you know I’ve been working my tail off trying to get things in perfect order for tomorrow. I lug that baby around with me everywhere I go and he wants to trip because I leave her for one night so I can make him look good tomorrow? Please, that man is getting on my nerves. I’m about ready to call it a wrap with this marriage.”

  “Naw, hold up. Calm your feisty little butt down,” the man said into the phone. “Where are you? Hiding in the bathroom somewhere?”

  “No, actually I’m on my way to Pastor’s house.”

  “To Pastor’s house? For what? Counseling? If that’s what you need, baby I’ll give you all the counseling you need and then some,” he told her.

  “I’m serious, Skip. Every day I’m finding out more and more that the Graham family is nothing but a bunch of phonies.”

  “Look, I’m trying to maneuver myself out of this parking garage. It’s swarming with folks leaving this game. How long are you going to be at his house?” Skip asked.

  “Long enough to find out what Stiles refused to tell me.”

  “What do you mean by long enough to find out what my boy refused to tell you?”

  “All I know is there’s something about Audrey and Francesca. I think she’s the child of a rapist.”

  “Who? Francesca?”

  “Yes, Francesca,” Detria responded.

  “Hey, I tell you what, hit me up when you leave the pastor’s house.”

  “Okay. I’ll talk to you in a minute. Bye, babe.”

  “Yea, later,” Skip answered.

  ◊

  Stiles searched every room of their house. Detria was not there. She certainly isn’t up in here sneaking on the phone talking to whoever. Let me check this garage.

  When Stiles saw Detria’s car was gone, a sense of welcome relief came over him. She’s gone to get my daughter. Convinced that she was headed to Mother Brown’s to pick up Baby Audrey, Stiles returned upstairs, took a bath and went to his study to go over his message for tomorrow’s three services.

  “One bad apple,” he spoke out loud and paced along the cherry hardwood floors of his study. “One bad apple won’t spoil the whole bunch. That’s what some people believe. But I want you to know today that you can’t believe what everybody throws your way. You see, one bad apple can spoil the whole bunch. David says in Psalm one and one ‘Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.’ If one sinner can’t tarnish you, then why does the Psalm say otherwise? Why does the Psalmist say you’re blessed when you don’t follow the counsel of the ungodly. Why shouldn’t you stand in the midst of sinners or sit at their table. It’s because you will find yourself like the Psalmist; first simply walking along with the ungodly, then you get a little more comfortable and so you start standing or hanging around with people you know are up to no good, then before you realize it you’re sitting down with the very people who can get you into a world of mess. It happens every day. Look at all the people in jail who are guilty by association. I tell you,” Stiles preached to himself, “one bad apple can spoil the whole bunch…”

  After spending an hour going over his sermon, Stiles stopped and looked at his watch. It was going on ten o’clock at night and Detria hadn’t returned with Baby Audrey. He retrieved his cell phone, scrolled through his contacts until he located Mother Brown’s number. He walked over to the landline phone on his desk and called her.

  Mother Brown answered, her voice sounding heavy with sleep. “Mother Brown, I’m sorry to disturb you, but─”

  “Look, Pastor Graham, I told First Lady before she left little Audrey over here for the night to be sure y’all wouldn’t be over there worrying. That precious child hasn’t been an ounce of trouble. She’s in there in my grandson’s room in his bed fast asleep. She had a time playing with him. After I fed her dinner and gave her a good warm bath, she fell right to sleep. I did him the same way and he went to sleep too, so you and the First Lady get you some rest. Tomorrow is going to be a long day. I’m really excited that the children’s center is going to be opening tomorrow. I know you are too, aren’t you Pastor Graham?”

  “Mother Brown did you say Baby Audrey is asleep?”

  “Yes, I sure did. What did you expect?”

  “Uh, when was the last time you spoke with First Lady?” Stiles asked.

  “Earlier this afternoon. Is everything all right?” Mother Brown asked.

  “Oh, yes, yes, Ma’am. Maybe I should come and get the baby,” Stiles said, not understanding what games Detria was playing with him.

  �
�No, you are not coming over here and waking her up out of her sleep, and I’m not getting up out of my bed to let you in just so you can have this precious little one up all night because you missed her. I’m telling you, she’s fine, Pastor Graham. Now, please you and the First Lady get some sleep. Me and Brother Brown will bring Audrey to church. So see y’all in the morning, if God says the same. Goodnight now, Pastor.”

  “Yes, Mother Brown. Thank you so much and God bless you and Brother Brown.”

  “Thank you, Pastor.”

  After the call ended Stiles grew angry all over again. “Detria, where the world are you?”

  15

  “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” Mahatma Gandhi

  “Pastor, are you saying that you told First Lady Audrey that she should keep a baby after what happened to her? And,” added Detria, knowing that the child she was carrying could very well be his child and not yours? Is that what you’re telling me?” Detria inquired hungrily.

  Pastor appeared quiet, withdrawn and worried as he sat in his recliner listening to Detria grill him about his past. He couldn’t believe that Stiles would share such intimate information about their family with Detria. He didn’t care if Detria was Stiles’ wife; in Pastor’s opinion she still had no right to be privy to his and Audrey’s personal business. Frankly, he was sickened by the whole thing. If Stiles hadn’t been so nosy, none of this would have occurred. Why didn’t he insist on going through the things in the attic himself? If only, but Pastor remembered what his mother used to say to him and his brother when they were growing up, ‘Don’t talk about what you should have done or could have done. Once something has happened, so be it, make the best of it because crying over spilled milk is senseless.’

  “Detria, what I wanted your husband to understand is that I really wanted to believe that the child Audrey was carrying was mine. I wanted both of us to cling to that, to have faith even though something so terrible had happened. Plus, I didn’t want her to abort an innocent child regardless of the circumstances of that child’s conception.”

  Detria toyed with her hair nervously. “Pastor, I hear what you’re saying, and part of me understands your reasoning. But Audrey was raped, Pastor. Raped,” she repeated. “That’s something every woman fears in her life at some point in time. And it happened to her. I can’t see how she was able to deal with carrying a child to term, knowing she could probably very well be carrying the seed of a monster.”

  Pastor shook his head. “We had no way of knowing that. Anyway, God brought her through it. Audrey was always a strong woman. After Francesca was born we had a DNA test done, and,” he paused, his body slumped as he lowered his head in obvious shame and despair. “and she wasn’t my daughter, well not biologically anyway. But I loved her just like she was mine. And I thought Audrey would be able to do the same.”

  “And she couldn’t?” questioned Detria.

  “She tried. She tried real hard, but she just couldn’t seem to ever really bond with Francesca. Poor Audrey. She loved me so much that she was willing to go to the ends of the earth for me. And she practically did.” Pastor looked up and over toward Detria. “And I know she loved Francesca. I just know she did. I don’t care what Stiles or Francesca say, I know Audrey loved her.”

  “Well, getting Stiles to understand that is going to be tough, not to mention when he tells Francesca about everything that happened.”

  “I wish you would talk to him, Detria.”

  “Me?” she pointed at herself “What do you want me to talk to him about? He hardly ever listens to anything I have to say, especially lately.”

  “What are you talking about?” Pastor asked. “What’s going on with you two?”

  “Pastor, I wish I knew.” Detria covered her face with trembling hands. “I don’t know what’s happening between us.” Holding her head back up she continued to talk to Pastor, telling him how Stiles had been behaving toward her lately. She conveniently left out the reasons Stiles was so upset with her.

  “All he seems concerned about is Baby Audrey. I mean, since I gave birth to her, it’s like I don’t exist, that I’m not important. Pastor, I’m his wife,” Detria seethed and gave Pastor a haunting glare. “I know I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but what do I have to lose?”

  “What is it? You know you can tell me.”

  “He, he doesn’t touch me anymore, Pastor. He acts like he’s revolted by me or something. I’ve been doing everything I can to show him my support. Working at Holy Rock almost every day, practically all day, trying to support his vision for that church. And what do I get? Nothing. Not even one kind word.”

  “I don’t know what to say other than I’ll pray for you. I would tell you that I’d talk to Stiles, but I don’t think he wants anything to do with me, at least for now he doesn’t. And I can’t say I blame him. But none of us are perfect, Detria. Not me, not Stiles, not you. No one. But you know what?”

  “No, what?” asked Detria.

  “As for my son, I’ve walked in his shoes. It’s not an easy job, not by a long shot, being pastor, and always expected to serve others. Always being scrutinized and expected to be available twenty four seven to the needs and wants of your congregation. It’s a tough assignment, real tough.”

  “So that gives him an excuse to be like he is toward me? Gosh, I’m his wife. Don’t I deserve some of that time and attention, some of his love and affection?”

  “Child, all I’m saying is we all mess up and make decisions that may not be the best for us or our loved ones at the time. But that’s part of being human. Only God is perfect, but you know that already. Maybe I am the blame for what Audrey went through, but I wanted her to know that no one or nothing could ever make me stop loving her.”

  Detria stirred uneasily on the sofa. “I know you loved her. That was easy to see. And she loved you. Stiles and Francesca are just going to have to accept that what’s done is done. Francesca should be grateful that she’s here on this earth. Maybe her life hasn’t been peaches and cream, but there are millions of people in this world walking around every day dealing with things far worse than what she’s had to deal with. And Stiles, well, he should understand that Audrey Graham was a full grown woman who was capable of making decisions for herself. And her decision back then was to keep her baby, and she did.”

  Pastor nodded. “I’m glad you’re not jumping all over me. Thank you,” he said.

  “I’m the last one to place judgment on anybody, Pastor. Look at what I did to you? But you forgave me and you treat me just like a daughter. The thought that I could abuse you the way that I did, is well, it’s unthinkable. I never thought I was capable of such a heinous act. So I don’t see how Stiles and anyone else for that matter can come off trying to judge you.”

  Pastor stammered as he pushed the words from his mouth. “That’s over and done with. You were under tremendous stress back when that happened. And I, well I was conveniently in place for you to do what you did. But it’s done and over with now. I forgave you and I don’t want you bringing that up again. You hear me?” he asked.

  “Yes, I hear you, Pastor. Thank you.” Detria stood up and walked over and stood next to Pastor. She looked at him, and extended her hand toward his. He accepted it, got up and stood next to her. “I better go,” she said and started walking toward the door. Pastor followed in silence.

  Detria turned and faced him after she opened his front door to leave. “Pastor, get some rest. Try not to worry too much about all of this. Like the Bible says, ‘this too shall pass.’”

  Pastor leaned in and kissed Detria on her left cheek. “You do the same, sweetheart. I want you to be careful going home, all right?”

  “Yes, I’ll be careful.” She took a step outside and on to the porch before she stopped. “You’re going to be at church tomorrow aren’t you?”

  “Yes, I’m going to church with my companion, Josie.”

  “Oh, I see. Why aren’t you coming to Holy Rock? I can’t believe
you’re going to let this rift between you and Stiles keep you from coming to your own church.”

  “I think your husband will feel better if I’m not sitting up in the pulpit. Holy Rock will always be my home church, but right now, I think I’ll visit with Josie at least for the next few Sundays. You know, wait until things quiet down a little.”

  “I see. Well, you know what’s best. Anyway, I better get going. It’s already pretty late. Goodnight, Pastor.”

  “Goodnight, Detria.”

  Detria walked away while Pastor remained standing in the doorway until she got inside her car and drove off.

  ◊

  “Hey, I’m leaving my father-in-law’s house.”

  “That’s straight. I’m at home, so why don’t you swing through here. Let me look at that pretty face of yours,” Skip flirted.

  Detria smiled into the phone. “I’m on my way. Bye.”

  “Bye.”

  Detria had been talking to Skip for three months. She couldn’t remember how their affair started, but one thing she did know was that she was developing strong feelings for Skip more and more. He gave her the attention she craved to get from Stiles. But Stiles was in his own space, his own world and it didn’t seem to include her. Detria believed he still wanted his ex and she was nothing like Rena. She smiled wickedly when she thought about the package of condoms she’d sent her. “Wonder how you liked that wedding gift Miss Rena? I can’t believe you haven’t called whining to my husband about it. Or who knows, you probably did, but let’s see if he’s going to confront me about it,” she kept talking to herself.

  She drove down Holmes Road until she arrived in the county. She made a left on Ross and traveled through the neighborhood until she reached her destination. She was glad Skip lived quite a distance from the church. It was less of a chance that she would be seen by those nosey Holy Rock church folk. She called Skip when she turned on to his street so he would have the garage up and she could drive right up in there undetected.