My Sister My Momma My Wife

by Lipsey, Shelia E.

  “Straight. Just text me when you’re on your way.”

  “I will,” she said and ended their call.

  She went into Stiles’ office to check her emails because she had left hers in the car, and didn’t feel like going to get it. “Just have to use yours. You’ll never know the difference,” she said out loud. Stiles was ticky about his computer because he kept all of his sermons and messages on it. It was off limits to her, and she didn’t mind since she had her own.

  She sat at his desk, and that’s when she noticed he had left it on, something he rarely if ever did. “He must have really been in a hurry this morning to leave this on.”

  Detria clicked the space bar and the computer screen came on. His email box was open, definitely much to her surprise. She didn’t know his password and he didn’t know hers, but no password was needed because his mailbox was wide open. She didn’t know why it hadn’t timed out.

  She began scrolling through the dozens of emails, scanning the subject lines. If you go looking for trouble, trouble will find you, she seemed to hear a voice say in her mind. She ignored it. And find it she did. Her complexion turned two shades darker when she saw and read the emails from Stiles’ ex.

  Stop emailing me! I don’t want anything to do with you, Stiles. At the end of the email she read what Stiles had sent to Rena. Rena, I was thinking about you today. I hope you’re doing well. You deserve to be happy.

  Another one read, I’m trying to live my life without you interfering in it…. And Stiles message to her said, Rena, I keep thinking about how I messed up a good thing with you. I know I’ve said it a hundred times before, but I have to say it again, I’m sorry. I can’t help but think how things might have turned out had I not been so stupid back then. I know we’re both married now, and I don’t mean to act like a stalker or anything, but just know that you’ll always hold a special place in my heart. You’ll always have a piece of me.

  Still a third one said, How do you think your wife would feel if she knew you were doing this?

  Stiles: I tried to call you but you’ve changed your cell number. I called your parents, but they wouldn’t tell me how I could get in touch with you. I don’t mean to be a nuisance; I just wanted to see how you were doing. I hope you’re happy. I hope he’s treating you right…

  Detria couldn’t cry. Her fingers were shaking as she scrolled through the emails. She felt like a fool. She knew he still loved Rena and this was the proof. She went into his Sent box and saw dozens and dozens of email messages he’d been sending to Rena.

  “I’m pregnant with my HUSBAND’S child. I am not your wife anymore. What part of I don’t love you or want you don’t you understand? Do not, and I mean do not try to contact me anymore. I don’t want to tell your wife, but if you keep trying to contact me, you leave me no choice. MRS. RENA BECTON!!!!!”

  The last email she read was one Stiles had sent Rena just a few days prior. “Rena, I don’t know what was wrong with me. I had no right to hound you the way I did. You deserve to be happy. And I hope that you are. I’m glad to hear about your pregnancy. I know you’re going to enjoy being a mother, and you’re going to make a great one too. I won’t bother you again. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for everything. Enjoy your life. May God bless you and keep you. Stiles

  “What are you doing?” Stiles yelled, starling Detria. Her head popped around at the sound of his voice.

  “What are you doing on my computer?” he barked.

  “What are you doing home?” she yelled back.

  “Don’t dodge my question,” he said and walked over to where she sat.

  Detria noticed how huge his pupils had grown when he saw his email open.

  “Don’t look so surprised,” she bit. “You left your computer on, you dogg, you.” She jumped up from her seated position and spewed endless profanities at her husband. “All this mess about you want to make our marriage work. You’re nothing but a liar.”

  Stiles stood rigid. “I do want our marriage to work. Whatever you think is going on, isn’t.”

  Detria released a wicked kind of laugh. “You really take me for a fool, don’t you? Well, I’m nobody’s fool, Stiles. I never have been and I’m not about to start now. You can have your precious little Rena, but from the responses to your emails, it’s not likely that she’s ready to come running back to you,” Detria screamed and spat.

  She took two steps to the side and started to walk off but Stiles grabbed hold of her elbow.

  “Wait, Detria. Please, let me explain. I sent those emails when we were going through our turmoil. I felt like our marriage was over. I was lonely and miserable, but that’s not how I feel now, Detria. I love you. You have to believe me. Please,” he begged while keeping a tight grip on her elbow.

  “Turn me a loose. You’re hurting me,” she yelled. “You don’t want this marriage. You want someone who you’ll never have again, Stiles. What part of what the woman is telling you don’t you believe? She has a husband. She is pregnant with his child. Not yours. She’s changed her number, Stiles just so she won’t be bothered by the likes of you. You’re so sickening. Who are you?”

  “I’m human. I messed up,” he said and tears began streaming down his face. “Please, Detria. Please forgive me.”

  Detria managed to jerk away from his grasp. She stormed out of the study and fled to their bedroom, turning the lock behind her. She got her overnight bag out of the walk-in closet and quickly packed a few items in it while Stiles begged for forgiveness from the other side.

  When she opened the door, she dashed past him and hurried down the steps.

  “Where are you going?” he asked.

  “Away from you. I can’t stay here. Not now. I need some time to think. I’ll call Mother Brown and see if she’ll watch the baby for a while. I’m in no shape to take care of her tonight, not after this.” She rolled her reddening eyes at Stiles. She walked into the downstairs guest room and went inside and removed Audrey out of her porta-crib. The little girl seemed content as she played with her toys and sucked on her pacifier.

  “Don’t do this, Detria. Please. We can work this out without you leaving our home, and taking our daughter.”

  She didn’t say a word, but instead she gathered some items out of the room and put them inside Baby Audrey’s diaper bag that was on the nightstand.

  “I’m not doing anything; it’s you who caused this.” She held the baby on her hip along with the other two bags she had and went into the kitchen and got several bottles out of the side by side refrigerator. “You’re so wrapped up in yourself that you can’t see the pain you’re causing me. It always has to be all about you. Well, no more, Stiles Graham. You don’t listen when I talk, maybe you’ll listen when I walk,” she said and walked off.

  Next, with Stiles at her footsteps she headed for the garage. He didn’t try to stop her physically, but instead tried to keep her from leaving him with his pleas. Detria ignored him, got the baby in the car and then followed suit. She punched the remote control and the garage door came up. Turning the ignition on, she proceeded to back out of the garage.

  “Detria, you know the Bible. The Bible says, “Don’t let the sun go down upon your wrath. Let’s talk about this, sweetheart. Please, Detria. Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” he continued to spout scriptures as Detria put the car in gear and drove off and up the street.

  ◊

  “Didn’t I tell you that it wasn’t going to work out between you two?” Skip said. “I don’t know why you still put up with him.”

  Detria rested her head against Skip’s chest. “I do not want to be a statistic, that’s why. When I got married, it was supposed to be until death do us part. My parents have been married almost fifty years and I’m sure they’ve been through some tough times. But they’re still together.”

  “But I bet your daddy didn’t treat your mother the way Stiles is treating you either. The man is flat out disrespecting y
ou, Detria.” Skip expressed.

  “It’s not like I’m an angel, you know. Look at me,” she said. “I’m here crying on another man’s shoulder; my husband’s friend at that.”

  “He doesn’t know that. And you have every right to be with me after what he’s putting you through.” Skip pushed her away gently and then looked into Detria’s eyes that had for the first time since arguing with Stiles, started to overflow with tears. “It’s all right baby. I’m here. I’m going to make everything all right. Okay?” he said while kissing her face.

  Detria gave in. She wondered why she didn’t feel guilt for the relief she felt. Maybe Skip was right. Maybe her marriage was beyond repair. She shivered as Skip gently eased her down on the hotel bed. His touch was light as he expertly explored her body, transporting her to a place of pleasure.

  ◊

  Pastor dialed Francesca’s number again and again, much like he’d done the past few months, and again the phone went straight to an automated voicemail. He had tried unsuccessfully to bring his family back together but he failed. He was too humiliated to go to Holy Rock, the very church he’d founded. It didn’t feel right any longer. It was like he had no place there. The ties that bind seemed to be forever broken, and Pastor didn’t know if they would ever be able to be repaired.

  He put the cordless phone back on its charging base before he sat down in his chair and picked up his Bible. His spirit felt like it had been crushed and that there was no way for him to regain footage. In a matter of moments, he’d managed to tear his family structure apart with his words.

  “Audrey,” he cried. “Why? What have I done? What have I done?” He sobbed while still clutching the Bible.

  He picked up the phone again. This time he dialed Stiles’ phone. He answered on the second ring.

  “Stiles, son. Please, don’t’ hang up. We need to talk.”

  “I agree. I need to talk to you, too. I’m on my way over there.”

  “Certainly,” Pastor said. “Thank you, Lord,” said Pastor. Stiles had finally answered his call. Pastor’s spirit leaped with joy. He flipped through his Bible and stopped when he came to another one of his favorite scriptures. “Let not your heart be troubled,” he began to read.

  Stiles rushed to Pastor’s apartment. He had nowhere else to turn, no one who he wanted to confide in. It was time for him to, at least momentarily, put the past behind him. He needed Pastor’s words of wisdom. No matter how bad he felt Pastor had messed up, he needed the man he’d always known as father.

  Pastor listened to Stiles tell him everything that had happened between him and Detria.

  He is so much like his mother, Pastor thought. Audrey could make some of the biggest mistakes and then turn around and beg for forgiveness like it was the end of the world. And each and every time, Pastor would forgive her. Pastor believed that Detria would end up being just like him. Stiles, again like Audrey, had a way with words, and a way of pulling at one’s heart strings. Unless Detria was tougher than Pastor thought, she would be back in the arms of her husband before she would realize it herself.

  “Give her some time, son. She’s been hurt,” Pastor told him. “Rena has been dogging her footsteps ever since the two of you met. She probably feels like she’s always living in her shadows. And I sympathize with her. The girl can’t be sure if you really love her or not. And seeing all those emails between the two of you, well, that’s a hard pill to swallow. You have got to let Rena go, son. She’s not your wife anymore. Detria is. You need to concentrate on building your marriage, and making a stable family environment for Baby Audrey and any future children you might have. It’s going to take some time. You’re going to have to spend every moment trying to rebuild trust in your marriage.”

  “But how?” asked Stiles. “How can I ever make her understand that I love her, and that I’m sorry. I don’t know why I keep running to my past. I mean, I know Rena has moved on, and so have I. But I keep on going back, or at least trying to go back. Like I’m trying to hold on to a piece of my yesterday. But why? I don’t understand it,” Stiles explained.

  “You’re living in the ‘what-if’ mode. And what if will get you in a lot of serious trouble. I had to release a lot during my marriage. I could have held on to the past, divorced your mother because I had every right to do so. But I chose not to. I had to look at the bigger picture.”

  “And what was that?” Stiles asked.

  “I had to look at me,” Pastor said and pointed to himself. “Maybe I didn’t go out and have an affair on Audrey, but I might as well had. I was married to Holy Rock, the church I built from not only the ground up but I built that membership. It was my world, my life. I put it before my marriage, my family, and I believe I put it before God. And God wasn’t pleased. He wasn’t pleased at all. I guess that’s why I had to forgive her. She forgave me over and over again for being an absentee husband, lover, friend, father and so much more. How could I not forgive her. And I’ve done it again.”

  “How?” Stiles asked.

  “Because this time I put myself ahead of you and Francesca. I was too busy wanting to keep my dignity that I was willing to spill your mother’s secrets, secrets I promised to take to my grave.”

  Stiles listened intently to Pastor. The more he listened, the more Stiles understood how badly he had hurt his wife, just like Audrey had hurt Pastor all those years ago. Stiles soon began to realize that he really didn’t want to get back with Rena. Instead, he was caught up in the fantasy of having someone, something he couldn’t have. And now, he may have lost Detria in the process.

  “You’re going to have to seek God’s face. Ask God to lead you and guide you. And you know he will.”

  Stiles remained silent.

  “If you love your wife, fight for her. Show her that it’s her and nobody else that you want to be with.”

  Stiles remained at Pastor’s apartment until late in the afternoon. While he was there, he had tried calling Detria several times, but she didn’t answer. He reached Mother Brown. Detria had left their daughter with her.

  “It’s time I leave,” Stiles told Pastor. “I’m going to pick up my daughter, and then I’m going to go home and make preparations for my wife to come back home.”

  “Good,” Pastor said as he stood up and patted Stiles on his back. “Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you.”

  Stiles nodded, confirming the scripture Pastor quoted, he said, “Mark eleven twenty-four.” He walked toward the door, stopped and turned to face Pastor who had followed behind him. “I’m sorry. Will you forgive me for the way I talked to you, disrespected you. I’ve been wrong on so many levels. Who am I to judge you? I have no real right or reason to be angry with you over the sins of my mother. What happened was between the two of you and God.”

  Pastor patted Stiles on the back and then reached out and grabbed him, pulling him into a father-son hug. Tears streamed as he held on to Stiles like his life depended on it.

  Asking for forgiveness can be hard to do, but Stiles slowly started to realize that if he expected or hoped for Detria to forgive him, he had to have a forgiving spirit, and it started with forgiving his entire family.

  26

  “Be positive! It’s not about who hurt you and broke you down. It’s about who was always there and made you smile again!” Unknown

  Tim stared at Francesca sitting across from him at their kitchen table. Ever since they’d been turned down for adoption, Francesca had been in a funk. He’d tried all kinds of things to help her cheer up but she seemed to be up one day and totally down the next. Today his parents were coming to visit, and Tim hoped that would help bring her around some.

  Francesca loved Tim’s parents and they loved her. They were going to bring one of his nieces along with them. Maybe Francesca would enjoy that. At least he hoped that she would.

  “Honey, you’ve barely touched your lunch. You need to eat. You want to stay health
y don’t you?”

  Francesca slightly nodded, then toyed around with the veggie burger Tim had prepared for her. “I know, but I just don’t have an appetite right now.”

  “Baby, you’re going to have to pull yourself up out of this depression. It’s not good for you. I know you’re hurt about the adoption agency’s decision, but God is in control. He knows what’s best for us. Something will break for us, Francesca. You have to believe that, baby. Please, don’t do this to yourself.”

  She looked into Tim’s eyes and traces of a smile filtered across her face. “You’re right, but it’s just so hard. I was so pumped up, thinking we were going to have the chance to be parents. And I know how much having a child would mean to you.”

  “This isn’t about me. It’s about us. I don’t want anything apart from you, baby. I’m concerned about you. Would it have been great to have a little one running around the house? Sure it would. But everything is working out the way it’s supposed to. We can’t see what’s ahead but God can, and that’s who we should rely on.”

  “I know, Tim. And I promise that I’m going to make an effort to move forward from this.” Francesca pushed back from the table and stood up. “What time do you think your parents will be here?”

  “Around three o’clock. They’re bringing Kyra with them.”

  Francesca’s face lit up. Kyra was five years old and was adorable. She was Tim’s oldest sister’s little girl and she loved to hang around her grandparents. Francesca couldn’t wait to see her and spend time with the little girl.

  “They’re bringing Kyra? I’m glad to hear that. That little girl is such a hoot. She’s so smart it’s like she’s been here before,” Francesca said and giggled.

  “See, that’s my girl. I love to see you smile,” Tim said and got up and walked up to Francesca. He kissed the crown of her head and hugged her around the waist.