Malia: A Black Sentinels MC Novel

by Johns, Victoria

  “Like a pro. If you don’t get top marks, then there’s no justice.” I laughed, feeling lighter than I had in ages. “Why haven’t I seen you with Charmayne?”

  “Secret sex hook ups are way more fun.”

  I frowned.

  “Trust me. I fucked her in her kitchen pantry last weekend while her mom was making pasta in the kitchen.”

  I had a momentary flash forward. If Dean failed college, I was pretty sure he’d have a promising career in the porn industry. Failing that he could end up doing time for a sex crime because right now, it felt like he was a sex pest in the making.

  Malia

  I wasn’t overjoyed about going on a date with Jace, but needs must and if it made Reef see that I was ready for a relationship, it would be worth it. Truth be told, we were both stringing each other along. I was using Jace in an emotional way and he was just trying to get a firm hook around my panty elastic.

  I could see still Reef’s face every time I mentioned him.

  I was sure that Reef wanted me, just like I wanted him. There was no way I was imagining it. Dean and I were getting closer, but it felt different to the way I wanted to be closer to Reef. Every now and then I’d catch him staring my way. I could feel his eyes boring into me, and it felt like I was being slowly burned. When our eyes met, his gaze seemed to incinerate through my flesh and catch fire in my blood stream. It traveled low to the pit of my stomach and stayed there.

  I was unable to ignore it, and it was because of that I knew I wanted him. I wanted him and me to be a proper him and me.

  Like all the best-laid plans there was rarely a moment when Reef and I were alone without Dean. The boys came as a package deal and I knew that. I’d always known that, but I couldn’t help what I was sure my heart wanted. I only hoped it wasn’t just that my heart needed someone because I was lonely, so fucking lonely here. Unlike Jace, when I was around Reef my heart stuttered and stumbled and it was becoming impossible to ignore.

  That night, it was hard work to find a fake smile for Jace when I went on my date with him, but I gave it a damn good try.

  No one asked about the date the next morning, but I knew the boys wanted to. I would be damned if I was going to bring it up first, though. I’d rather they just thought it had been a raving success. It wasn’t bad; it just wasn’t amazing. It was… blah.

  “Where are you going?” Reef shouted after Dean as he climbed into his mom’s car the minute we’d got off the school bus.

  “Dentist. Good job she’s here to get me otherwise I’d have forgotten. I’ll come find you later.” Mrs. Morrison drove off like she was at the Indy 500 and then I realized we were alone. This was my chance.

  “Can we—” I began, just as Reef opened his mouth to ask me something. Ever the gentleman, he nodded and let me continue. “Before we go out on the water, can we talk?”

  I wondered if I’d made a mistake when a look of panic flashed across his face. Maybe taking the bull by the horns was going to do untold damage. The thing was I needed to know if there was nothing there. My head needed my heart to hear it so I could move on.

  We walked to my house—my empty house—and the sick feeling I’d had a moment ago was replaced with nerves as the coldness of the place I called home hit me. “Reef, I… is… I need…” I stopped in the kitchen, dropped my back pack and began to wring my hands. I saw as his eyes took in the action and his face turned concerned.

  “What is it?”

  I opened my mouth and the words wouldn’t come out, so I made a brave decision and stepped right up close to him and leaned up on my toes. Reef was tall, so without that action I would never have got close to his lips. As we connected it felt like we’d become welded together. The connection I’d been so sure about surged back and to between us like an electrical current. It lasted a few seconds before I felt his mouth open a little and his tongue darted out and touched my lips. As quickly as it started it was all over and before I could grasp that fact, Reef had taken hold of my upper arms and physically set me away from him.

  “Shit. Mal.” He bent forward with his hands on his knees, his breathing one step away from hyperventilating, and while he tried to pull himself together, I was compelled to touch my lips. My fingertips reminded me that he’d been there, torn between disbelief and already feeling the loss of our connection.

  “I knew it,” I stuttered around my fingers.

  “Knew what?” Reef finally stood upright and I could see the pupils in his eyes were dilated.

  “That you felt the same as me.”

  My words incensed him. His whole body shook like he was on the edge of hulking out. “That… I…” he mumbled. “No. It can’t fucking happen.”

  Reef didn’t miss the way my body deflated at his words. My bravery was fast seeping out through the same pores he’d ignited just moments ago. “Why?” I asked, even though I was pretty sure I didn’t want the answer.

  “Because…” He stopped and searched for the right words, all speech evading him when he needed it the most. “Because, I don’t see you like that.” The words he emitted would have been believable if it hadn’t been for the pained way he had to force them out and I felt angry that he was okay with lying to me.

  “Liar. I see the way you look at me.”

  “You also see the way I look at Callie.”

  Callie was a girl who’d recently started to join us at recess, and I knew she had the hots for Reef. Until now, I’d had no idea he felt the same way back.

  That was a low blow and the first one Reef had ever directed at me. Normally, he was a straight talker, but still, he was always considerate. Out of Reef and Dean, he was the one who was able to read a situation and deal with it appropriately. I’d never seen him go out of his way to purposely hurt people, ever.

  “You don’t look at her like you look at me.”

  “No!” he shouted back. “Because she isn’t my best fucking friend, that’s why.” Reef began to pace the kitchen like a caged animal, while I remained stood in place, feeling the empty chill of my house more than ever. Not only had my mom broken my heart here, but it seemed like I could add Reef to that list, too.

  “Are you…” I swallowed around the lump of emotion in my throat. “Are you saying you don’t feel anything for me?”

  His eyes misted over as he geared up to crush me, and the part that I didn’t understand was that he seemed okay with causing himself that crushing pain, too. “Considering I’ve just asked Callie to go on a date, no, I can’t feel those things for you.”

  Blow number two, although I was pretty sure that was a lie. “Stop using her as an excuse.”

  He swiped the empty wooden fruit bowl off the side, and the noise as it clattered to the floor made me jump. “It’s not an excuse. I’m not a cheater. You know I’m not that kind of guy. I don’t fuck around behind people’s backs like some. Mal, you are my best friend and right now, that’s what you need me to be.” His Adam’s apple bobbed around the words. “That’s the only thing I can be for you.”

  I could not cry in front of him.

  I would not cry in front of him, so I blinked rapidly as I willed my eyes to clear. “You’d best go then and let’s forget this ever happened.”

  Reef hesitated, and when he stepped closer to me a small swell of hope blossomed inside me. “Mal, it’s for the best.”

  The hope crashed and burned.

  I wiped traitorous tears from my cheeks and saw him wince at the pain he’d caused me.

  “You need friends not complications, and that’s what this would be. We’re your family.” The softness of his voice pulled at my heartstrings. His words were loaded with sense, logic and reason, and the way I felt was only made worse because of the kind way he delivered them.

  He reached out to wipe away the tears that continued to fall down my face, and the moment his fingers touched my cheek, the burn was back so fierce that he withdrew his hand like I’d scorched him.

  I was not imagining this. It was real.
<
br />   Reef spun on his heels and my heart acted like it was on a pulley with his, so much so that I swayed in his direction.

  “Wait!” I opened my lips to plead my case and put forward some very valid points, but he got there first.

  “Don’t do this,” he begged. “This. Us. It would hurt too many people, you more than the rest of us. I’ll see you out on the water.”

  I stumbled back and hit the counter top, letting my legs slide down the unit until I found the floor. The sob I’d held back came forward and I knew I was having some kind of meltdown. I knew at that moment that I cared for Reef more than I’d realized. These weren’t just tears of rejection; they were tears of loss. Looking around the kitchen, I saw the stack of mail on the sideboard and the lone plate and cup that I used and rewashed on repeat every day. My mother had chosen a different life, someone else over me, and it seemed that Reef didn’t want me either. I should have seen the positive, seen the good in him, that he didn’t want to mess Callie around and he wanted to be there for me as a best friend and a pseudo-family thing, but I didn’t. He did nothing to convince me that the nature our relationship would be any different, so I knew I had to get over him and move on. I couldn’t spend my time here being any unhappier than I already was. It would kill me. I was fast crumbling in this shell of a life. If friends was all he wanted and the best I was going to get, then I would settle for that. I would rather have him in my life than not.

  I wouldn’t sit and pine for Reef Bryant. I was made of tougher stuff.

  Life went on.

  Reef

  Fucking hell!

  I stormed back to my house in the worst mood ever.

  Her face when I threw Callie’s name in there was gutting, but not as gutting as the fact that I was actually going to have to ask Callie out now. I’d done a sterling job of avoiding it so far.

  Malia making the first move had been the stuff of dreams on repeat, and I hated that I had to turn her down. Telling her that we couldn’t be together was like pouring acid down my throat.

  But we couldn’t go there; we couldn’t be together because she didn’t need me like that, and I’d promised my best friend. I’d made some stupid fucking promise with Dean and we agreed that the thing she needed the most was a family unit, and I couldn’t break that pact. I’d already lost one friend, and between Dean and Malia, I was prepared to squash my feelings to keep them both in my life. I’d ignored my feelings for so long it had become second nature.

  That fucking kiss, though.

  Those fucking lips.

  I knew I sounded like a pussy, but I was certain that girl was made for me. My mind considered that once we’d left high school and all made it to college, I could renegotiate with Dean. Malia would be back on Hawaiian home turf. She’d have more friends and be less reliant on our families. Dean would be off fucking anything that moved on campus and the timing could be right for us to move from best friend/sister to boyfriend and girlfriend.

  It didn’t matter that I was trying to be the bigger person, the better man right now. It still killed me that I did that to her. I only hoped I’d get the chance to put it right in the future and make her understand why I did it.

  I ached for Malia.

  I was still hard as fuck from that kiss when I walked into my back yard, and had to put my backpack in front of my dick as I passed Mom in the kitchen. “Good day?”

  No. “Yeah.”

  I rushed up the stairs, the blood still pooling in my dick because I could taste her lips, feel her tongue, and her lemony scent was firmly embedded in my nose.

  I needed to deal with my dick before I went anywhere near a wet suit. Firstly, the neoprene would hurt and secondly, I couldn’t be stiff when I saw her again. I was only going to be able to turn her away so many times.

  I threw my backpack at the floor, locked my door and freed my aching dick from its confines. I gasped with relief when it fell into my palm and I squeezed it. This wouldn’t take long; it was already glistening. A few hard strokes, a harsh tug on my balls and one tight fist-pump later and I shot my load up my stomach.

  It was time to get my ass out on the water and act normal. She didn’t want us to talk about this again and I could give her that. It was best for all of us because if we didn’t move on from that kiss in the kitchen, I was about to lose another best friend.

  Malia

  I always thought when I went to prom I’d be with my old group of friends in Hawaii. We’d had it planned for years. The girls were going to book a room in the venue hotel. We’d all get ready together, giving each other mani/pedis and making sure our hair and make up looked on point. The boys would meet us there, and we’d all head out for a night of dancing and making out. As soon as the prom had finished, we’d head out for our proper prom night—a party somewhere, close to the beach so we could wear bikinis, drink shots and collapse into the nearest bed. If someone of us were lucky, we’d even manage to have sex, or if we were really lucky, we’d have sex all night.

  Instead, I’d taken money out of the housekeeping pot that mom left for me these days and nipped out to buy a dress.

  Mom spent at least three nights a week and most of the weekend staying in the city. She’d met a guy at work and they usually worked late—a rubbish excuse that she thought I believed. I didn’t see things ending well for her with whoever the man was. She was keeping him under wraps, and I’d overheard Dean’s mom talking to his dad about it. From what she was saying, it sounded like he was married.

  After everything that had happened with my dad, and the things she’d said about the woman he was with, I’d have been disappointed if she’d forgotten that and was a mistress herself.

  I looked at myself in the mirror and hated that this wasn’t how I saw my prom evening going. I was alone, waiting for a date I wasn’t sure I should be going with.

  Reef was going with Callie. I hated that, but I had to move on.

  Even Dean had a date.

  I’d been dating Jace for a few months, and my refusal to put out only made his efforts to get in my panties more determined.

  “You ready?” Dean shouted from downstairs.

  I wasn’t. Prom was a big night for a girl and my mother hadn’t even remembered.

  I gently made my way down the stairs, my dress bunched in one hand so I didn’t trip, and the sight that greeted me took my breath away.

  Dean and Reef were stood in tuxes and they looked every inch the heart-throbs all the girls in school thought they were.

  “Someone scrubs up well,” Dean commented, breaking the moment between the three of us. Reef made no comment.

  “So do you two.” I swallowed. “Is the limo here?”

  “Yeah.” Reef nodded.

  When we walked outside, the limo driver opened the door and I settled back. We had planned it so we could pick a few others up.

  Jace was the first pick up and although he looked handsome, I knew he was trying too hard to impress. The gleam in his eyes was already dulled by an early start on the alcohol. He sidled up to me in the back of the limo and Reef turned to look out of the window, while Dean mumbled that he should ‘keep his fucking dog paws to himself’. He lamely threw a corsage in my direction, and even in the plastic it looked like a he’d sat on it by accident. At the next stop we picked up Charmayne and Callie. I’d heard all the rumors about Charmayne and Dean, but never really seen them together. Callie, even though she was more familiar to me, was shy and it pained me to say, a perfect match for Reef. He was the kind of guy who would always choose the wallflower over the overpoweringly scented wildflower.

  Charmayne wore a bubblegum pink dress so short that it looked like it had been copied from a Barbie wardrobe while Callie’s was the complete opposite, demure, understated and beautiful.

  I was so jealous of her.

  The prom hall was decked out in a winter palace theme, and when Jace dragged me over to the fruit punch table, I felt despair when he weighed up the chances of getting a bottle of vodka in i
t. Knowing that we’d be caught and kicked out, I dragged him onto the dance floor where he grew more arms than an octopus.

  I looked to the side and saw Dean and Charmayne talking. She wasn’t interested in dancing, well, not the horizontal kind, and Dean didn’t seem interested in her at all.

  Reef, though, looked like the respectful guy I knew he was. Callie was his date, so his focus and attention were on her. Every so often we’d catch each other’s eyes, but there was nothing more to it than friends keeping tabs on each other.

  Two hours later, as I left the girls’ bathroom, I found Jace waiting for me. He looked like he’d sobered up a bit and I was glad. He grabbed my hand. “Let’s take a walk.”

  “Yeah, okay.” I was determined to have at least a little bit of fun at prom.

  We walked outside and rounded the corner, heading to the side of the science block. As soon as we were out of the floodlights, he pulled me to a stop and pushed me up against the wall. We’d made out loads; I was used to it. Jace was a great kisser and had an amazing body. It was just at times there were flashes of a personality that I didn’t really find attractive.

  “Let me feel that tongue, baby,” he demanded, not giving me a chance to decline before I felt his in my mouth.

  He started to lift the bottom of my dress up and, covertly, I pushed his hands away and let the skirt drop back down. When he tried again, I did the same. On the third time, he stepped away from me, frustrated. “Come on! It’s prom night. Let loose, baby.”

  “It’s cold and not exactly romantic.”

  “You want romance?” He sidled up to me again. “I can have us in a bed in less than fifteen minutes.”

  “I don’t think so,” I snorted.

  “Neither do I,” came the voice of Dean, who stepped out of the shadows.

  “Fuck me, cockblocked again,” Jace hissed. “Listen, when you’ve had enough of your bodyguards stepping in and getting in the way, come find me.”